Trigger Warning: This episode discusses child death, fentanyl poisoning, overdose, CPR, and suicide in detail. Listener discretion is advised.On a snow day in January of 2024, Kathy Jones' daughter went upstairs to wake her two kids for school. Fifteen minutes later, this family's life split into before and after.Skylar was 14, an honor roll student who never met a stranger. Gage was 10, obsessed with dinosaurs and his pet turtle, Vicky. That afternoon, a fentanyl poisoning took them both, and their family went from a hospital waiting room they never got to sit in straight to a coroner's office.In this conversation, Kathy talks about the day that changed everything, the rumors and misinformation that followed, raising her surviving granddaughter, and why she now speaks at the Washington Monument and the White House so that Skylar and Gage are never just a headline. This is a story about a family that did everything right, and lost everything anyway.For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I had to pull cash out of my savings this week to pay for a patio, because apparently some people still only take cash in the year of our lord. So I am feeling some feelings about housing costs. Meanwhile Alex is under contract on a house, I just moved into a smaller one, and we both learned the same lesson from opposite directions: getting approved for a mortgage and being able to live comfortably with it are two completely different things.The SolutionApproval is not a plan. The bank is measuring risk to the bank. It has no idea whether you want kids, want to retire early, or want to travel. Affording the payment is not the same as living with it.Why this feels so hard right now. The median US home is around $435,000 and the median household income is about $88,000. To comfortably afford that house you'd need closer to $110,000. If buying feels out of reach, you are not imagining it.Renting is not throwing money away. Renting buys flexibility, predictable costs, and way fewer maintenance surprises. Alex rented for two years after selling in Naples specifically so she could figure out where she actually wanted to live. Renting isn't wasted money if what it's buying you is options.What ready actually looks like. Three to six month emergency fund still fully funded after you close. Stable income. A down payment you understand, including whether PMI applies. Closing costs of roughly 2 to 5 percent. And a maintenance budget of about 2 percent of the home's value each year for new construction, closer to 5 percent for an older home.The hidden line items. Property taxes, homeowners insurance, HOA dues, lawn care, utilities, appliances, furniture. Alex was paying close to $1,500 a month in HOA fees in Naples for a gym she didn't even like.The listener question that says it all. A couple got approved for $800,000 but planned to spend $550,000. Alex runs both numbers: about $3,000 a month versus $4,320 a month. That's $1,350 a month, over $16,000 a year, and close to $500,000 across a 30 year mortgage before you even count what that money could have grown into.This week's homeworkCalculate your true monthly housing cost. Not the mortgage or rent number, the real one. Add taxes, insurance, HOA, maintenance, and utilities. Then ask yourself two questions. Would I feel financially comfortable if one unexpected expense hit next month? And if no one ever saw my house, would I still want this one?Connect with usJoin the Patreon for episodes early plus Wallet Therapy Live: patreon.com/beckyhayterGot a question or a money confession? [email protected] every dollar of that true housing cost in one place with Monarch Money: https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: cancer, medical trauma, death of a loved one, grief, body image. At 32, Jess found a lump adjusting a bra she'd bought herself for Christmas. What followed was a year of aggressive treatment, a gene she didn't know she carried, and a body that screamed for six weeks before the system let anyone say the word. For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Val was diagnosed with hydrocephalus before she was born, and the doctors gave her mom a number and a recommendation. She's 27 now, married, teaching special education, finishing her master's, and living with hardware in her head and her back that has to be replaced when it fails. We talked about what it costs to build a completely ordinary life inside a body that keeps interrupting it, and how much of that life you have to go out and take.For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today’s episode is a little different because Becky is away on her podcast tour, so Alex is flying solo and answering your money questions.From $18,000 in credit card debt and feeling overwhelmed, to figuring out how to prioritize an emergency fund, Roth IRA, HSA, student loans, and future goals, Alex talks through the real-life financial decisions that can feel complicated when you’re trying to do everything at once.She also breaks down snowball vs. avalanche debt payoff, what to consider when your student loans are in deferment, and whether apps like Acorns and Fetch are actually helping you—or just making it easier to spend.Plus, a rapid-fire round covering mortgages, investing, checking your investments, combining finances with a partner, and one of the biggest financial mistakes people make in their 30s: waiting.But underneath all of these questions is something bigger.Fear of making the wrong decision.Fear of falling behind.Fear of not knowing enough.You don't need to have everything figured out to start feeling more confident with money.Sometimes you just need to make the next right decision.Money is emotional—and you deserve to feel safe with it. 💚Send us your money questions for a future episode! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: opioid addiction, drug poisoning and overdose, suicide loss, incarceration, newborn withdrawal, loss of custody.Lauren was 16 when a doctor handed her a prescription for straight oxycodone for a cheerleading injury. No warning, no follow up, just take this for the pain. What happened in the eleven years between that waiting room and the house with the backyard she lives in now is the whole conversation. She talks about the parts that don't make her look good, on purpose, because she thinks somebody out there needs to hear them.For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: pregnancy loss, infant loss, medical trauma and dismissal, hysterectomy, immigration enforcement and community fear.Yari became a mom at 19 and spent the next decade being told her pain was normal, her odds were good, and the procedure would hold. It didn't. In this conversation she walks through three losses, the surgery she had to fight her own doctor to get at 28, and what she's doing right now for the elders on her block in Chicago.For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For the longest time I thought investing was a members only club and nobody sent me the invite. People would say things like index fund and expense ratio and diversification, and I would smile and nod like I had any idea what was happening. Spoiler: I did not. This week Alex walks me through the whole thing from the very beginning, and it turns out the scary part was never the math. It was just the vocabulary.The SolutionSaving vs investing. Saving is parking your car in the garage. Investing is sending your money out to get a full time job. They aren't competing, they're doing two different things.Stocks vs bonds. Buying stock means owning a tiny piece of a company. Buying a bond means lending money and collecting interest. Owning part of a bakery vs lending the bakery money.Why Alex loves index funds. Instead of betting on one football player, you buy the whole team. Roughly 90 percent of professional fund managers fail to beat the S&P 500 over a ten year period, which means the pros usually lose to the thing you can just buy yourself.ETFs vs mutual funds. Both are baskets of investments. Mutual funds price once at the end of the trading day and often have minimums. ETFs trade all day like a stock and are usually easier to start with.The real cost of an advisor. Alex runs the numbers on $500 a month over 30 years. No advisor and low cost index funds gets you about $1.1 million. Add a 1 percent advisor fee plus 1 percent in actively managed funds and you hand over nearly $400,000. The question isn't does my advisor charge a fee. It's am I getting enough value to justify it.The investing dictionary. Diversification, compound growth, dividends, expense ratios, and dollar cost averaging, all in plain English.Plus a listener question from someone who hasn't filed taxes in ten years after a terminal diagnosis they thankfully survived. Alex explains exactly where to start, and it's less scary than you think.This week's homeworkDo one thing. If you don't invest, open an account. If you already invest, log in and look at what you actually own. Can you explain it in one sentence? If you can't, go learn one thing about it. Progress over perfection.Connect with usJoin the Patreon for episodes early plus Wallet Therapy Live: patreon.com/beckyhayterGot a question or a money confession? [email protected] it all in one place with Monarch Money: https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: This episode discusses secondary trauma, child abuse and neglect, substance use and addiction, overdose loss, suicidal ideation, stalking, and a mention of gun violence.Morgan is a social worker and therapist in the same small town she grew up in. She testifies in court about things clients told her in a room they believed was private, she carries a caseload of names she already knows, and for one stretch of her life the hardest year of her job ran at the exact same time as the hardest year of her marriage. We talk about what it costs to be the only person everyone assumes is fine.For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: This episode discusses opiate addiction, stillbirth, miscarriage, and infant loss.Katie loved her husband through seven years of active addiction, then lost her daughter Ayla at 40 weeks, on her due date. In this conversation, she walks through recovery, repeated loss, the wedding they planned in the middle of grief, and the three boys who came after, including her youngest son's albinism diagnosis. Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light. 🔹 New episodes drop every Monday! 🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters 🔹 Submit your story: [email protected] 🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com 🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.comIf you or someone you know needs support, please visit:988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.