Welcome to Episode 3 of the "For My Son" podcast. I do not have a son. This is a series of life lessons and anecdotes I am passing on to potential future man-sprogs because I am aware that my memory is fading fast and that one day I’ll be too dead to pass on my most useful tidbits. This is directed towards dinkle-equipped progeny largely because I have not yet enjoyed living life and learning its lessons as a lady-person. If I should be given that chance in the future I will do my utmost to redress the balance. I do not expect you will agree with everything I have to tell him, in fact I expect a lot of people will be shocked and appalled, but these stories represent the truth as I wish it had been presented to me when I was young. I am making this public for the entertainment of the general public. I look forward to reading their comments, although I should make it clear that there are few opinions in the world I respect and the chances are theirs is not among them. 80% of them are, statistically-speaking, morons. When that 80% become paying customers I will humour them and tell them their opinions were thought-provoking, but until that time I shall probably mock and dismiss them as the mouth-breathing plebs they are. To the other 20%, you deserve an opinion and I congratulate you on that. Feel free to share it, if, in doing so, you can prove, or at least imply, that you are a member of that 20%. See more from me at: www.andyheather.com All music by me and my band 1.G.K. Find us at: www.1gkband.com

I do not have a son. This is a series of life lessons and anecdotes I am passing on to potential future man-sprogs because I am aware that my memory is fading fast and that one day I'll be too dead to pass on my most useful tidbits. This is directed towards dinkle-equipped progeny largely because I have not yet enjoyed living life and learning its lessons as a lady-person. If I should be given that chance in the future I will do my utmost to redress the balance. I do not expect you will agree with everything I have to tell him, in fact I expect a lot of people will be shocked and appalled, but these stories represent the truth as I wish it had been presented to me when I was young. I am making this public for your entertainment. I look forward to reading your comments, although I should make it clear that there are few opinions in the world I respect and the chances are yours is not one of them. 80% of you are, statistically-speaking, morons. When that 80% become paying customers I will humour them and tell them their opinions were thought-provoking, but until that time I shall probably mock and dismiss them as the mouth-breathing plebs they are. To the other 20%, you deserve an opinion and I congratulate you on that. Feel free to share it, if, in doing so, you can prove, or at least imply, that you are a member of that 20%.

'For My Son' is a series of audio messages recorded by one man for his, as yet unborn, son. They are controversial and unrestrained podcasts containing hard truths that he wishes someone had told him when he was young. The author is not aiming to create a mini-clone of himself in his son, he merely hopes that alternative points of view will help him draw his own conclusions, make his own decisions and form his own opinions.