NO ONE IS HAPPY AND IT'S WHAT WE DESERVE

- ETERNAL STEPFORD WIVES TOM BRADY AND BILL BELICHICK
- THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD
- IS IT TIME TO PANIC FOR TEXAS TECH BASKETBALL?
- THE RETCONNING OF EVERYONE'S ACTUAL OPINIONS ON THE XFL
- GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN TAKES (THIS PART IS FOR SMART PEOPLE ONLY)