When a woman turns up at her own funeral, does it make her a winner? How did Jesus get in to NASA? Do non-stop gay hook-ups reign supreme in Cardiff? And why is Bobby's earwax on Harriet's jumper?

Charlie Sheen accidentally calls his daughter a pig-faced whore...but has it irreparably tarnished his 'family man' image? Who comes out on top when the public attack politicians with Samurai swords? Is Bobby in the pocket of his Russian paymasters?

Bobby and Harriet have thrilling news, but there arguably bigger issues at stake: Should you #belikebill or is Bill a bell-end? Will the Oregon militia claim their racist utopia? Do vegetarians have sufficient energy to take on a burger chain? Who came out on top? And must Bobby really keep bringing up the hookers?

A couple takes on local kids by setting up an anti-teen device on their home. Starbucks goes head-to-head with Christmas. And our team launch pre-emptive cyber-attacks on potential enemies. But who won?