This week, David is no longer a postman, Conor is officially the family Fantasy Premier League champion, and takes possession of Terry’s Big Spoon. After that, we attempt to discuss conspiracy theories and accidentally uncover bird drones, fake stars, dinosaur spaceships, animatronic ravens, saltwater tampering, suspicious mattress shops, and Mum’s mysterious relationship with the little shed. David also sings about zoo animals being spies, which frankly raises more questions than it answers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s Talking Rubbish has everything: Southend winning at Wembley, Conor getting an earbud lodged in his ear like a workplace medical emergency, a shirt ruined by Mexican food, someone driving off without their driving examiner, and David discovering that anniversary planning can somehow lead to Pearl Harbor, ragdoll husbands and people marrying Ferris wheels. There’s also a surprisingly touching but deeply silly chat about David and Mary’s first date, a goodbye song for David’s final week as a postman, and another Dex Blinko chapter featuring cardboard spaceships, suspicious smells and the phrase “little todger” being treated with far more seriousness than it deserves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s episode is about lost and found, although for the first fifteen minutes we mostly lose the point entirely. David returns from Copenhagen with a ridiculous marathon PB, Conor learns that colleagues are willingly listening from episode one, and we somehow end up discussing jungle children, missing letters, stolen toy guns, legal treasure, loose change ethics and whether a whale on an island is technically lost or just very committed. David also brings a song with police sirens in it, which is either artistic flair or a traffic hazard, before testing Conor with a quiz full of hand grenades, glass eyes, live lobsters, horses in houses and the now iconic possibility of assorted wigs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conor has bought a barbecue and David is readying himself for the ceremonial passing of the tongs to crown him the new Barbecue King. We then discuss exotic meats, American breakfasts, Cracker Barrel gift shops and whether bringing a VR headset onto a plane is clever, weird, or both. Ben Shephard also returns to the podcast in a conversation that begins with respect and ends, inevitably, with anal bleaching, celebrity cleanliness and male grooming. There’s another disturbing item in the CREMBAG involving chimpanzees, horses and primate civil war, David shares a surprisingly catchy road rage song, and Chapter 12 of Dex Blinko features organic 3D cloning, suspicious moustaches, blindfolded sniffing and a hair creature with boundaries. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we continue our very serious and educational journey through the solar system with Uranus, which goes about as maturely as expected. Before reaching the planet itself, there’s talk of whether the podcast could survive without David, ghostly seances, UFOs, aliens learning Earth culture from British soap operas, and the worrying possibility that David might one day be asked to represent all of humanity. There are actual facts about Uranus, Conor’s romantic stargazing date with Lucy’s dad, a song about the difficulty of saying Uranus, and a quiz so lowbrow it may technically be underground. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conor is back from Ohio after supporting Lucy at WGI 2026, which means tales of colour (or color) guard, American arenas, confusing scoring systems, blocked toilets and a flight so uncomfortable his stomach apparently inflated like an emergency life raft somewhere over the Atlantic. Meanwhile, David has been keeping busy with marathon training, eating several breakfasts, writing charity songs and preparing to fling himself face first over a quarry on the world’s fastest zipline. We also cover Ben Shephard in business class, American high school sports, Heathrow toilet drama and whether David truly understands colour guard or is just saying words with confidence. There’s a surprisingly heartfelt song about the loft, and Chapter 11 of Dex Blinko features three pot noodles, a suspicious Vanguard and a Tic Tac with deeply concerning side effects. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking about work, which starts off with sniffer dogs, Ohio facts and whether this podcast technically counts as a job, before moving into office small talk, strange professions, jobs that probably shouldn’t exist, and the kind of workplace banter that definitely can’t be repeated in full. We have yet another debate, this time about whether mixologists are basically just people pouring one drink into another. There’s also a surprisingly bleak work song from David, a quiz about real and ridiculous jobs, and quite a lot of chat about horses for an episode that wasn’t meant to be about horses. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking inventions, which starts off sensibly enough with underrated everyday masterpieces like mugs with handles, shorts, clippers and sat-navs, before drifting into unnecessary gadgets, a surprisingly fiery argument about e-scooters, and a quiz packed with inventions that sound too ridiculous to be real. There’s also a song, some very avoidable scrotum chat, heroic dogs on the run, and the usual amount of confusion for a Thursday night recording. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This one starts with David failing to become a household name via The Wheel and Conor revisiting a childhood belief that he might one day have to change his name to Colin. We somehow end up discussing dog mayors, dog MPs, family decision-making otters, owl photo shoots, running while making butter, and a genuinely horrible image hidden in the CREMBAG. Add in a heartfelt ballad about dog poo on a shoe and a Dex Blinko chapter involving multiple Vareks, and you’ve got exactly the sort of respectable podcasting you’d expect from us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

David renames himself Ray, fails to click his fingers properly, nearly starts a domestic over timing, and then somehow becomes the spokesperson for all rays offended by nicknames like “majestic sea pancake” and “flat flap.” Along the way we squeeze in running waves, seasonal depression, Southend vs Gateshead, mystical postman greetings, barbecue sauce grievances, ray anatomy, Steve Irwin, and a full song called Call Me Ray. We also ask the important question: are rays actually predators, or have we once again stretched this series beyond all reasonable limits? The episode ends with a ray quiz that turns out to be mostly about people called Ray, which feels about right. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.