
S3 - Zombies UK Promo
It's 1978. A virus has taken over the planet. It causes the dead to rise and attack and eat the living.
Two ex-British soldiers have made it out of London to the north of England. They are in a closed underground military base. Can they survive the hordes of undead roaming the countryside? And help save everyone else.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
May 22, 2022
40 sec

TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.
The show is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980s. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.
This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.
Some things in the show may be shocking and stressful, and a possible trigger for the modern audience.
Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.
If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.
If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.
The Old Bill may be something you will enjoy.
Or not?
If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning properly.
S2 EP4 - Moggie
The squad had a huge result. They arrested a hard gang of blaggers from West London. The chief inspector's mother's prize Cornish Rex cat goes missing. They have to find him before they can celebrate.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Fast Theatre.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
DI COOK - Charles James
BEST - Russell Bonner
TERRY - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Slang Dictionary.
The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. You can find a full explanation of rhyming slang on many websites. We have used it as it would have been in the 1970s and 80s in West London. These are some word explanations from this episode to help.
Thrups - Breasts
Tart - Girl
Beak - Judge
Jammy - Lucky
Lugholes - Ears
knackers - Testicles
Toffee-nosed - Posh/High Class
Two and Eight - State
Moggie - Cat
Brown Bread - Dead
MUSIC:
"The Old Bill Theme"
Written by Jim Moncur
Published by Songtrust
Under License from Jim Moncur
"The Old Bill Theme Part 2"
Written by Jim Moncur
Published by Songtrust
Under License from Jim Moncur
"Spunky Strut"
Published by S.I. Publishing
Under License from Audio Hero
May 14, 2022
10 min

TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.
The show is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980s. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.
This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.
Some things in the show may be shocking and stressful, and a possible trigger for the modern audience.
Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.
If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.
If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.
The Old Bill may be something you will enjoy.
Or not?
If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning properly.
S2 EP3 - Flaps
Terry becomes a vegetarian. The other officers rip him to pieces. Cook makes a bet he can't last a week. Lawsie makes sure Terry is smelling and seeing them eat meat all day. Will he crack or win the bet?
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
DI COOK - Charles James
LAWSIE - Russell Bonner
TERRY - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
MUSIC:
Lunar-Cops
Written By:
G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon
Cliffdweller Music
Licensed through Audio Hero.
The Old Bill Theme
Written By: Jim Moncur
Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/
Licensed through Jim Moncur.
The Old Bill Theme Part 2
Written By: Jim Moncur
Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/
Licensed through Jim Moncur.
Fraternity Party
Published by Sounds Incredible Publishing
Licensed through Audio Hero.
Slang Dictionary
The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. You can find a full explanation of rhyming slang on many websites. We have used it as it would have been in the 1970s and 80s in West London. These are some word explanations from this episode to help.
Pony - Defecate
Bird - Girl
Bollocks - Testicles
Up to snuff - Up to the required standard
Chippy - Fish and Chip shop
May 7, 2022
14 min

S2 EP2 - Blag
TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.
This is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980s. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.
This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.
This may shock and be stressful, and a trigger for the modern audience.
Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.
If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.
If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.
The Old Bill may be something you will enjoy.
Or not?
If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning properly.
S2 EP2 - Blag
The squad go after a gang of armed robbers. They already have seven jobs under their belts. Terry tells Cook about his family and his gay brother. The arrest of the gang turns into a huge fight. Cook's old girlfriend shows up. She now dates his boss. They get a warning about smashing up the local bar toilets.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
DI COOK - Charles James
NADINE - Kelly Smith
LAWSIE - Russell Bonner
TERRY - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
MUSIC:
Lunar-Cops
Written By:
G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon
Cliffdweller Music
Licensed through Audio Hero.
The Old Bill Theme
Written By: Jim Moncur (PRS)
Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/
Licensed through Jim Moncur.
Sweeten the Pot
Written by:
Bobby Cole (PRS)
Published by S.I. Publishing
Licensed through Audio Hero.
The Old Bill Theme Part 2
Written By: Jim Moncur (PRS)
Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/
Licensed through Jim Moncur.
Cockney Slang Dictionary.
The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. For those people not acquainted with it we have a list of words used in this episode and their meaning.
Hampton - Penis
Nob - Penis
Slash - Urinate
Barnet - Hair
Blag - Robbery
Snout - Informant
On Your Jack - Alone
Bog - Toilet
Khazi - Toilet
Ruby Murray - Curry
Septic - American
Tooled Up - Posses weapons
Apr 30, 2022
10 min

TRIGGER WARNING - The podcast series "The Old Bill," from Fast Theatre.
Season 2 is a period drama/comedy show set in the early 1980's. The language and situations are authentic for the time. Episodes may contain violence, bullying, sexism, and extreme negative and abusive dialogue.
This series is a true depiction of the language, situations, and attitudes in London at the time. We want to keep it as realistic as possible.
This may shock and be stressful, and a trigger for the modern audience.
Like real life. Not everyone is good. People are not superheroes.
If you are, or have ever been offended by anything. No matter how small. Please do not listen. This is not for you.
If you like the style of classic British TV shows like, Minder, The Sweeney, and The Professionals. And the comedy of shows like Fools and Horses, On The Buses, Carry On, and Fawlty Towers. Or you like period entertainment before mobile phones, the internet, or Twitter wars.
"The Old Bill," may be something you will enjoy.
Or not?
If you have any complaints, you didn't read the warning.
S2 EP1 - Bottle
Detectives Cook and Terry work for London's crack police squad. Terry gets shot during an arrest. When he recovers, they are both put on a big local bank robbery case. It's time to round up the local villains and get them talking.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
DI COOK - Charles James
CHRIS THE CARD - Russell Bonner
TERRY - Charles James
BRADSHAW - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Cockney Slang.
The show makes use of authentic London slang. Including cockney rhyming slang. For those people not acquainted with it we have a list of words used and their meaning. There are no set rules. Some slang words can have more than one meaning. It depends on the context. Our explanation is to help your understanding of the show. You can find a full explanation of rhyming slang on many websites. We use here it as it would have been in the 1970s and 80s in West London.
Harris - Arse
Monkey - £500.00
Blag - Crime
Farmers - Hemorrhoids
Nonce - Child molester
Tosser - Someone who masturbates a lot
Tom - Jewelry
Grass - Informant
Nicked - Arrested or Stolen
Bollocks - Testicles
Cattle trucked - Fucked
Manor - Local area
Pugged up - Hidden
Kiting - Using stolen cheques
Nutter - Crazy person
Form - Has a criminal record
Banged up - In prison
Bent - Illegal
MUSIC:
Lunar-Cops
Written By:
G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon
Cliffdweller Music
Licensed through Audio Hero.
The Old Bill Theme
Written By: Jim Moncur
Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/
Licensed through Jim Moncur.
The Old Bill Theme Part 2
Written By: Jim Moncur
Published by Songtrust https://www.songtrust.com/
Licensed through Jim Moncur.
Redline
SI Publishing
Licensed through Audio Hero.
Apr 23, 2022
14 min

London 1980s. Detectives Cook and Terry are on surveillance. Their boss, Bradshaw, wants to push Cook out. He thinks his outdated methods are a joke. The pair mess up and their subject gets away. Bradshaw lays down the law. Cook isn't impressed.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
DI COOK - Charles James
LAWSIE - Russell Bonner
TERRY - Charles James
BRADSHAW - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
MUSIC:
Lunar-Cops
Written By:
G. Mosby, E. Wilson, B. Gagnon
Cliffdweller Music
Licensed through Audio Hero.
Apr 9, 2022
10 min

Patient Alpha is a long-time resident of a top secret military facility. Dr. Berman does his best to help him. Is Berman real? Is Alpha real? Why does orderly Martin call Alpha, Dr. Osgood? Is Martin real? Who is Doctor Klein? Is Klein real? Nothing makes sense.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
DR. BERMAN - Charles James
DR. KLEIN - Russell Bonner
PATIENT ALPHA - Charles James
DR. OSGOOD - Charles James
MARTIN - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Apr 2, 2022
5 min

This episode is dedicated to my family that fought and were killed in WWII.
The British forces in France capture a German soldier. He has a civilized chat with the British captain at an old police station. After losing his Iron Cross, he gets it back. But Sargeant Jones has other ideas.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
CAPTAIN SMITH - Charles James
CAPTAIN LANDAU - Charles James
SARGEANT JONES - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
MUSIC:
Chase-to-Freedom
S.I. Publishing
Licensing by: Audio Hero; SourceAudio ID: TTX011901
Cold-Espionage
S.I. Publishing
Licensing by: Audio Hero; SourceAudio ID: EXT01229
Mar 26, 2022
14 min

John meets his friend Frank in Vegas. Frank has become a successful gambler. His wins at the casino are because of a magic stone he stole in India. John urges Frank to return the stone. Frank has other ideas.
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
Contact: [email protected]
JOHN - Charles James
RAJ - Russell Bonner
FRANK - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Mar 21, 2022
13 min

WARNING - This episode contains scenes that some people may find stressful. Over 18s only. It contains subjects such as schizophrenia, depression, drug taking, self harm, and suicide. There is also extreme bullying. If you find any of these things upsetting, please do not listen.
Actor Terrence Lawson is the toast of LA. He caps his career at the biggest show of the season. He is at the pinnacle of Hollywood. Terrence has some dark secrets. His past characters haunt him. The noise from them has taken over his life. He has to mask their bullying and negativity. When he comes home with the biggest prize in the industry, there's trouble. He ignored his characters and did not give them credit for their work. Is he controlling them, or are they controlling him?
Directed by Charles James; written by Charles James; produced by Russell Bonner & Fast Theatre; sound design and mixing by Jim Moncur. Fast Theatre © 2022 Sound Productions LLC.
For more information, go to https://fasttheatre.com
For information contact: [email protected]
TERRENCE LAWSON - Charles James
BILL - Russell Bonner
RAY - Charles James
JOHNNY - Charles James
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Music
Award Winners Fanfare
Composer Albert Marlowe
Licensed from Audio Hero
Mar 12, 2022
6 min
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