DOWNLOAD Wow. This one is up there. Bad. Like The Brothers Solomon bad. SPOILER ALERT: Moon rock spiders. MOON ROCK SPIDERS.

DOWNLOAD Darren and Mike surprise Bill for this birthday, but Bill is the one with the REAL surprise. Oh yeah, also, a movie - visually appealing, otherwise a serious let down.

DOWNLOAD ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!

DOWNLOAD We like to find SOMETHING redeeming about every move we BLAST. The most redeeming part of this movie was the Casa Bianca pizza pre-BLAST, then some fine whiskey and tequila mid-BLAST. Movie? What movie?

DOWNLOAD Whoooo Boy. This one stinks. Fortunately, we're not alone having to tear this one up. It's the annual BLASTkittens festival! We're joined by: Senta Moses, Shannon Muchow, Retta Putignano, and Lisa K. Wyatt. Also: Our annual apology to these nice women for having to watch this coiler.

DOWNLOAD Some things are better just left alone.  Conan the Barbarian is one of them. The movie, that is. Well, the actual barbarian named Conan is probably also best left alone.

DOWNLOAD Hey everybody!  2012 has ... ahem... started, and we are BLASTing the worst of 2011. The first one to get it is "Season of the Witch" starring Nicolas Cage... enjoy.