Sara discusses the things that help her manage anxiety and stress both during and after Thanksgiving. Links discussed are below:Be Ready When the Luck Happens by Ina GartenFrom Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley & Riley KeoughThe Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly BishopWatching the Martha Stewart Documentary**I may receive a small comission from purchases made from the above affiliate links. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

Links from the episode:Books:Intermezzo by Sally RooneyAnne of Green Gables by L.M. MontgomeryBe Ready When the Luck Happens by Ina GartenWelcome to the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-reumFavorite PuzzleFollow me on Instagram: @Sara.Norman.Walker Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

Adventures with strangers on a trip to Tuscany. Crying to the police officer. Favorite memories and shopping adventures in Italy. Wendy the tacky Mannequin. Books I’m reading. Shows I’m watching. Links to show notes:Glam Italia! 101 Fabulous Things To Do in Florence by Corinna CookeIntermezzo by Sally RooneyMeditations for Mortals by Oliver BurkemanAshley from At Home with AshleyDana Wall, the Inspired Tourist Elvis, the movieKillers of the Flower Moon, movieHeirloom Club drop: Nov. 1st at 10 am CSTDorothy & Norman Christmas drop: Nov. 4th at 10 am CSTMy Tuscany Shopping Guide Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

Things that have been occupying my brain this past week or two including books, shows, self-care, spiders, change, stick horses, sparkles, and finding a good therapist.Episode links:Reading: All Fours by Miranda JulyWatching: Nine StrangersBlink TwiceSubstack by Katherine May: the ClearingWintering by Katherine MayEnchantment by Katherine MayFour Thousand Weeks by Oliver BurkemanMeditation for Mortals by Oliver BurkemanFollow me on Instagram:@[email protected] @heirloom.club Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

How I’ve worked to find balance between my *EXTRA* personality and living at a slow pace. Links mentioned in the episode:Books:What the Hex by Jessica ClareDead Romantics by Ashley PostonWrong Place, Wrong Time by Gillian McAllisterAngelika Frankenstein Makes Her Match by Salley ThorneBride by Ali HazelwoodWeyward by Emilia HartFrankenstein by Mary ShelleyWhen Less Becomes More by Emily Ley Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

I’ve spent the last month working hard at rebranding my businesses (heirloomclub.net and dorothynorman.shop), and now it’s time to rebrand the Old Podcast. Listen up to this epidsode where I’ll give you my perspective on being a being *EXTRA* since childhood.The audio edits aren’t perfect, but here’s to imperfection and a better attempt next week. Next episode drops on Monday!Enjoy!xoxo, Sara Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

We are constantly bombarded by stressors, distraction, and social media noise. Most of us enjoy various aspects of social media, but balancing out our screen time with more grounded-screen free activites can help reduce our anxiety and regulate our nervous system. Writing letters to your loved ones is one of the most regulating activities you can do because 1). as you write, you are using both your tacticle and visual senses to be in the grounded in the present moment, and 2). you feel more socially connected to your loved ones. Both of these things can help decrease anxiety and boost our mood. Developing a letter-writing habit can help you add in a consistent, regulating routine to your mental health toolkit. You can become less connected with screens and more connected to yourself and your loved ones. Get your Fall Connection Kit now so you can start building a regular routine to help regulate your nervous system.Our new Fall Subscription Kit—the “Ashley” Connection Kit—was inspired by my best friend Ashley, who always has the most beautiful way with words and the biggest heart. She means the world to me and inspires me constantly. You can read more about her here: https://voyageutah.com/?post_type=interview&p=87615 Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

Ya’ll this past weekend wore me out, and I am doing some self-care by NOT writing a Substack this week. Writing takes more time and effort than recording a podcast on the fly, so I’ve opted to skip my writing this week and give myself more time to recover from the weekend. I did still record a podcast talking about some of my most unfortunate and quirky personality traits. I haven’t figured out how to upload my podcasts directly to Apple or Spotify, so I’m just throwing it on my Substack. I love consistency. I hope you enjoy getting to know more about me in this week’s podcasts, and I hope you do something today to take care of yourself today. Maybe say no to an unnecessary work assignment. Or take a nap. Or give yourself some extra minutes of quiet. Those all sound lovely to me at the moment. Cheers, and talk with you next week. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

Most of us with school-aged children can say that we homeschooled during the pandemic. It was so difficult, right? I was thrilled when my kids could return to school again safely. After awhile though, and due to the needs of my kids and our family, we homeschooled (electively!) for two years…not including Covid-times. There were lots of idyllic days and wonder-filled memories. And then a lot of hard days, especially as my chronic illness flared up and we abruptly had to stop homeschooling. My kids have been back in the school system for almost 6 months now, and are doing well. And as they start a new school year, I’ve been reflecting on some of the beautiful experiences we had during our homeschool years. And some of the ways I want to incorporate these lessons into our new school life. 1). We read piles and piles of books. And lots of audiobooks. We got on bad terms with the library because we were constantly checking out books (and losing them). I once racked up a $100 library fine because we lost ONE audiobook worth $75…don’t get me started on my tumultuous relationship with the library, despite my best efforts to stay organized and read lots of books with my kids.Reading fun fiction & historical fiction that I tied into our curriculum helped us all enjoy and love reading. (Side note: If you’re not enjoying learning about your family history, trying reading a good historical fiction that is set during the same time period as your ancestor)2). We made learning individualized. I customized my kid’s core classes to their interests. My daughter loves to bake, so we used a baking curriculum to learn chemistry and fractions. When she loved reading the Percy Jackson books, we studied Greek and Roman history along with mythology; combining history with fiction in ways that engaged her learning. When my son became obsessed with the NFL, we learned the U.S. states and capitals by quizzing each other with NFL logos and placing them on a US map where they belonged. We practiced math by calculating pretend scores from NFL games. One of my most memorable days of homeschooling was when we were studying geology. I chose geology because my son loved Minecraft and loved talking about obsidian and gold armor (and all the Minecraft things). I wanted to engage him in learning, so I used his interests to guide our learning. One cool Fall morning, we headed to the mining store at Great Wolf Lodge, and I let both kids pick out a geode. We each chose an ice cream cone and brought the geodes to a local park where they got to crack them open to see what color quartz was inside. We strolled along the streets of downtown Grapevine to a local rock shop where we quizzed each other on each type of rock that we recognized and some new ones too—emerald, pyrite, and tourmaline. As we headed out of the rock shop, my son noticed a jewelry store across the street. He begged me to go inside to see if he could afford the diamonds they were selling…obviously…he could not. But, the store owner was generous and kind with her time. She spent almost an hour showing our little homeschool family the diamonds, emeralds, and gold that she had on display and in the vault. She taught us how Bonnie and Clyde had spent a lot of time in Grapevine before they tried to escape to Louisiana. In one adventurous homeschool day, we made the most beautiful memories that I’ll never forget. Later that week, we read books about Bonnie and Clyde and the California Gold Rush—my kids were engaged because we had started with their own interests: Minecraft. Which we connected to geology…and mining…and the California gold rush…and then Bonnie & Clyde. That was my favorite way to engage my kids in learning. I’ve used that as a model as I’ve built the Heirloom Club curriculum—finding ways to help you connect your own interests to your family history you so can develop a passion and interest for it.3). We learned from the most wonderful homeschool friends. I could go on for hours about how grateful I am for the homeschool friends we made. Although we were brand new to homeschooling, we were embraced by the most kind and loving group of experienced homeschool friends. Friends who included us in their weekly activities and encouraged our homeschool process. My children were surrounded by bright, happy friends who were creative and playful and kind. We found our friends through a local chapter of “Wild and Free,” and I highly recommended finding friends and community if you’re going to homeschool. These homeschool families have made such a lasting impact on our family, even though we aren’t homeschooling anymore (we miss them like crazy!). One of my friends, Judy, was very intentional in teaching her children about her Mexican heritage, and I was so inspired by her. Judy taught me about how she honored her ancestors through her Dia De Los Muertos celebrations, creating beautiful ofrendas with pictures and memorabilia of her ancestors. She taught me about traditional pan de muerto and how Monarch butterflies return to Mexico each year around the time of Dia De Los Muertos, representing the return of their ancestors’ souls. Judy taught her children Spanish, and I admired how authentically important her own family heritage was to her. She wasn’t teaching her children their family history because she had to—she genuinely enjoyed it and helped them enjoy it too.In college, I took a genealogy class where I learned how to index names from Ellis Island records, how to look at microfiche, and how to build a family tree. I knew how to use various family history platforms and how to find records at a library, but I still had no interest in my own family history or heritage. Even though I knew what to do, family history didn’t seem relevant or interesting to me. So when I hear some of you say that you hate learning your family history, I get it. But my friend Judy challenged my perspective and helped me develop a love for learning about my own heritage.I don’t personally have Mexican heritage, but I deeply admire the way Mexican culture & rituals honor and celebrate their ancestry in ways that don’t feel forced or guilt-ridden. I learned from Judy that family heritage is something to be celebrated and enjoyed.As I had the opportunity to homeschool and customize our school lessons, I took a lot of pages from Judy’s book. I started by learning about the beauty of Dia De Los Muertos celebrations, and then I began learning more about our own family heritage. During Christmastime, our family celebrated St. Lucia like my Norwegian ancestors. We made saffron rolls and went to traditional Norwegian festivals near our home. I decorated our home with Scandinavian Christmas decor. We learned about the history of the Vikings and the Scandinavian mythology of trolls and fairies. In June, we celebrated Midsummer with flower crowns and strawberries. I learned that my maiden name wasn’t actually passed down through many generations, but was chosen in the late 1800’s after my ancestors had a tumultuous marriage. In our homeschool, we learned about my Irish and Scottish ancestors and celebrated St. Patrick’s Day, reading Irish folktales and eating soda bread. As I started to learn more about my ancestors, their cultures and their stories, I started to understand myself more. I recognized family patterns that have continued for generations. I learned that my Scandinavian ancestors lived on a tiny island in the arctic circle for hundreds of years. Can you imagine living on an island with no other friends within a day’s walking distance? And what that would do to your genetics after hundreds of years? Ha! No wonder I have such a strong need for quiet and isolation after social interactions. For the first time ever, I craved learning more about my ancestors. What they were like and where they were from. Instead of feeling like it was something I was “supposed” to do, a duty to my ancestors. Now, I see my family heritage as a journey of self-discovery. I’ve got my ancestor’s blood running through my veins, after all.I am grateful to my friend Judy who showed me what a privilege it is so learn about and honor our ancestors. Who showed me that learning about our own family heritage can become a beautiful, enjoyable experience that we can look forward to. Since that time, I’ve worked hard to incorporate fun & easy family history into our homeschool learning.Due to my own health challenges & the needs of our kids, I’m no longer homeschooling. I miss our friends and our slow, wonder-filled learning. But, my homeschool experiences have inspired me to continue to make family history a part of our lives in ways that are fun and easy. And to help you discover the joy of learning your own family heritage, like my friend Judy taught me. In the Heirloom Club, my goal is to help you connect with your children and your ancestors at the same time, in ways that are enjoyable for you and for your children. We don’t have to learn our family history out of guilt or obligation—we can create experiences that strengthen our families and help us progress on our own journeys of healing and self-discovery as parents. When you join the Heirloom Club, and I’ll give you everything you need to help you make family history a regular, fun, & easy part of your family’s lives. And starting next month, I’ll not only have our regular Heirloom Club membership, but we’ll also start our Premium Club membership—an all-inclusive kit of activities so you and your family can have a monthly family night focused on connecting with each other and your family history without the prep time or planning. Follow along on my Instagram @heirloom.club so you can sign up when we first launch at the beginning of September. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe

You know how family is supposed to be your rock—your comfort? The place you go to for safety when the world hurts you? What about when it’s not? I am grateful to have such a loving, supportive family, but it’s not perfect. And I’m guessing yours isn’t either. When our families aren’t what we need them to be, it can be very disorienting and hurtful. Maybe even traumatic. Family is everything, but when our family has flaws, or shortcomings, or failures, it can turn our world upside down. It feels isolating—like maybe we’re the only ones in the world who have such a flawed family. Ostensibly beautiful holidays are just reminders that we don’t have the connection with our families that we want or deserve. Without sharing too much of my family’s story that isn’t just mine to share, I will say that one of my grandfathers falls into this category. Unfortunately, he repeatedly did not show up for my family as a husband and father. He was almost completely out of the picture, and fortunately, my step-grandfather filled his shoes as much as he could. Flawed as he was in his own ways, my step-grandfather showed up as a husband and father, and I am so grateful for him. A lesson that showing up flawed is almost always better than not showing up at all.But just because my grandfather wasn't in our family’s life, as his grandchild, with 1/4 of his DNA, I still want to learn about him. I want to know why he didn’t show up for my family. I want to know what his parents were like. What he enjoyed doing; what made him smile. I want to know what we have in common—surely with some of the same DNA, we have things in common. I want to learn how I can avoid his pitfalls and still embrace the best parts of him.I’m still diving into his family history. I am grateful that his mother was an avid genealogist who left lots of records. Records that show my ancestry all the way back to the 1500s. As I dig more and more into my grandfather’s family line, I’ve learned that I’m a descent of British settlers who sailed to Boston (Watertown more specifically) in 1635. They had a family crest—it is beautiful, and it inspired some of my upcoming artwork. They built a home that was standing until the 1970’s. They have a wikipedia page. They were horse-breeders (maybe my love of horses goes back even further than my 6 generation of cowboy lineage). I found a recipe that my great-grandmother (who I never got to meet) made for Applesauce Cake—I love baking it and imagining what she was like. I found a family reunion that these descendants have regularly…maybe I’ll meet them one day.I also found newspaper articles about my grandfather and his sacrifices during WWII and the Korean War. He was stationed in Pearl Harbor until a few days before it was bombed—a near miss for my grandfather. At another time, his ship was attacked and he got away on a life raft. I can’t imagine the toll his military service took on him…maybe that was part of his absence in my family’s life. I don’t want to excuse his behavior, AND I still value learning about him. It’s helped me understand more of myself. And also what pitfalls I might be susceptible to. Because family patterns often repeat, and one of the best ways to avoid them is to learn about them. Awareness is key to changeEven though my family history is painful or complex, it has been so valuable for me to learn about. To learn from my ancestors’ strengths and weaknesses. Because like it or not, family is family. They will always be a part of me, and I can try to stand on their shoulders, becoming more than they were able to be. If learning about your family history or connecting with certain family members is damaging to your mental health, take care of yourself. There is a season for everything. And there are some seasons where we’re surviving, just trying to get by as we work towards healing. But as we approach our healing and build resilience, connecting with the complexity of our families can help heal our hearts. Maybe our families won’t ever change, but we can still experience healing as we learn from them. May we find healing from our familial hurts and give ourselves lots of grace for the process. I’m still on this journey, and I’m excited for you to join me at https://heirloomclub.net Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get full access to Unnecessarily Extra at dorothynorman.substack.com/subscribe