Multiple songs have been written about the futility of trying to make someone love you. But if that someone is your spouse, you may spend years (and a lot of money) in the attempt. So, how do you know when it’s time to let go and go through with a divorce?Dr. Frederick Tiesenga is an award-winning, board certified bariatric surgeon dedicated to helping people achieve a healthier lifestyle. He is also the author of I Do Until I Don’t: A Surgeon’s Story of Divorce and Healing, a collection of his experiences through marriage and divorce. In the book, Dr. Tiesenga gets real about what a healthy marriage should look like and shares his hard-earned insights into divorce.On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Tiesenga joins Katherine to share the story of his own contentious divorce, describing what he did to try and save the marriage—and why it didn’t work. He offers his take on why a prenuptial agreement is a necessity and discusses what couples can do to communicate their needs before it’s too late. Listen in to understand what Dr. Tiesenga did to heal and move on from his divorce and get his advice on hiring a divorce attorney who will advocate for you!Topics CoveredWhat inspired Dr. Tiesenga to write I Do Until I Don’tWhat Dr. Tiesenga learned from trying to save his marriageDon’t force your partner into counselingCan’t buy things to make spouse like youDr. Tiesenga’s tips for navigating a contentious divorceFile counter-petition (no matter what)Don’t spend money unless ordered by judgeLeave courthouse as quickly as possibleAsk for trial date asap, first deal = best dealWhy couples wait too long to go to marriage counselingWhy Dr. Tiesenga advocates for getting a prenupHow focusing on his career helped Dr. Tiesenga start to healDiscussing expectations as couples negotiate a prenupDr. Tiesenga’s advice for choosing a divorce lawyerConnect with Dr. Frederick TiesengaDivorceDr. Tiesenga’s Website: https://drtiesenga.com/Connect with Katherine MillerThe Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246Email: [email protected]Call (914) 738-7765ResourcesI Do Until I Don’t: A Surgeon’s Story of Divorce and Healing by Frederick M. Tiesenga, M.D.: https://www.amazon.com/Do-Until-Dont-Surgeons-Divorce-ebook/dp/B07Y2HXBCXDivorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again by Michele Weiner-Davis: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Busting-Step-Step-Approach/dp/0671797255