It’s no surprise that divorcing couples deal with strong emotions. And yet, we know that our brains work best when we’re in the Calm Zone. So, how do we manage the feelings of anxiety, anger or sadness that come up in the divorce process? How do we bring ourselves back to that quiet, problem-solving mode so that we can divorce with dignity?Dr. Susan Heitler is a clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of anxiety, depression, anger and marital difficulties. Educated at Harvard and NYU, Dr. Heitler is the author of several books, including Prescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More and The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage. She is often called upon to present training workshops for therapists around the world, and Dr. Heitler’s work has been featured in Men’s Health, Woman’s World, Parenting and Psychology Today, among many other media outlets.On this episode, Dr. Heitler joins Katherine to share her Bump Theory of dealing with life’s challenges and walk us through the five possible reactions to a difficult situation like divorce. She explains why our brains don’t work under the influence of strong emotions and describes how to navigate the anxiety that comes when we’re facing the unknown. Listen in to understand Dr. Heitler’s Best Possible Light exercise for reframing shame and learn how to alleviate anger, anxiety and depression—without pills!Topics CoveredWhy our brains don’t work under the influence of strong emotionsThe 5 reactions to challenging situations in Dr. Heitler’s Bump Theory1. Finding solutions2. Fight3. Fold4. Freeze5. FleeThe consequences of anger, depression, anxiety and avoidanceHow to navigate the anxiety of changes associated with divorceThe interventions for divorcing couples at Prescriptions Without PillsDr. Heitler’s Best Possible Light exercise for reframing shameWhy couples considering divorce should find a good therapistDr. Heitler’s take on narcissism, sociopathy and personality disorderConnect with Dr. Susan Heitler Prescriptions Without Pills: https://prescriptionswithoutpills.com/Therapy Help: https://www.therapyhelp.com/Dr. Heitler on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflictConnect with Katherine MillerThe Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246Email: [email protected]Call (914) 738-7765ResourcesPrescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More by Susan Heitler PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Prescriptions-Without-Pills-Depression-Anxiety/dp/1630478105Bump Theory: https://societyforpsychotherapy.org/bump-theory/Power of Two: https://www.poweroftwomarriage.com/The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage by Susan Heitler PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Two-Secrets-Strong-Marriage/dp/1572240598?ie=UTF8&keywords=power%20of%20two%20dr.%20heitler&qid=1462300056&ref_=sr_1_fkmr0_2&sr=8-2-fkmr0Marriage Story: https://www.netflix.com/title/80223779