I had no idea what an emotional flashback was, much less how to manage them.I now realize the most difficult times of my adult life have been filled with emotional flashbacks and just how they were controlling my life.Listen along as I explain what emotional flashbacks are and how I am now learning to manage them.COMPLEX PTSD From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker:https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3VSDBZ0UV9QYF&keywords=complex+ptsd+from+surviving+to+thriving&qid=1655357119&sprefix=complex%2Caps%2C137&sr=8-1Digging Through Dominoes website (audio): https://diggingthroughdominoes.podbean.com/Apple Podcast: ttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digging-through-dominoes/id1619200152?i=1000557547966Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/69onD9bgg30EYvixz8DJFz?si=086dc9095e664d3biHearthttps://www.iheart.com/podcast/338-digging-through-dominoes-95565843/Google Podcasts:https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2RpZ2dpbmd0aHJvdWdoZG9taW5vZXMvZmVlZC54bWwAmazon Music/Audible:https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/ff3b62d1-4acb-4a3d-8bd8-89f5aba3ace6Player FM:https://player.fm/series/digging-through-dominoesYou can use this RSS feed in other Podcast platforms: https://feed.podbean.com/diggingthroughdominoes/feed.xmlYouTube main Channel URL for Podcast playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE4W_QJYGZH7d2wyB-0gDe5fAjI2cSi4JDigging Through Dominoes Youtube Video Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A3V8sW0X5c1QZGqQfBqXwDigging Through Dominoes Social Media:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DiggingThroughDominoesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/diggingthroughdominoes/Twitter: @DiggingDominoes email Teri at [email protected] hello everyone and welcome back to episode 11of digging through dominoes i'm your host teri anderson and this is the showwhere we dig through the dominoes of our past to figure out how in the heck tochange the game of our future welcome to digging through dominoes apodcast that looks at mental physical and emotional trauma through real andinspiring conversations this is your safe haven that welcomes you in but also isn't afraid to talkabout what hurts the most and now here's your host terry andersontoday's episode is on a topic that i really hadn't thought about doing atthis point until it hit me square in the face i realized if i didn't know do it nowi might lose some of the passion in trying to relay to youthe way this this works at least with me and that's about emotional flashbacksa lot of you may be saying what the heck are you even talking about what is an emotional flashbackwell first of all i'm going to tell you they're real second of all they suckso i'm going to tell you pete walker in his book surf uh p complex ptsd fromsurviving to thriving chapter eight the purse first paragraph saysemotional flashbacks are intensely disturbing regressions which areotherwise known as amygdala hijacking to the overwhelming feelingstates of your childhood abandonment when you're stuck in aflashback fear shame and or depression can dominate your experience i have to tellyou out of all the therapy i've had and there's been a lot of it this one pieceof information for me explained so muchof my life first of all i never even knew what an emotional flashback wasor how intensely they can control youand you know amygdala hijacking i mean that is exactly what happensyou're hijacked back you're transported back in time to another placewhere things were really bad not quite as bad as whatever you may gobe going through at the moment that triggered that emotional flashbackbut you know what like i said before they suck so we're going to talk about them becausei had a trigger today i had a trigger a few weeks ago today's was a little more strong than it was a few weeks ago and ithought you know what i'm going to let you guys know i've told you through this i'm going to be transparent i'm going to let you know myjourney so you know i know what you're going through or at least i would be able to empathize to sympathize tounderstand maybe a little bit more of what you're going through and maybe youwouldn't feel quite so alone and hopefully this might help some ofyou guys understand what's happening when it's happening so what isan amygdala you might be saying asking sorry the amygdala is a structurein the brain that controls emotions such asfear sadness aggression and it prepares usfor possible oncoming danger it's a part of our brain that's primarily responsible for the flightflight fight responses that that we get so often because it's the part that really tellsus hey wait a minute you're in danger okay so the amygdalaas i said is responsible for the perception of fear the perception ofdanger and the regulation of anger the amygdala alsohelps to store memories of events and emotionsso that we might be able to recognize them later you know likethat dog that for me it was a chihuahua came and bit me for the rest of my lifei had been petrified of chihuahuas because of the one that bit me when iwas probably three years old two or three years old i i just read the secondthis paragraph here that i have on my computer and it saysif you've ever suffered a dog bite then the megalate may help in the processing ofthat event and therefore increase your fear or alertness around dogsso it's kind of weird that i came up with that before i even saw this says the size of the amygdala ispositively correlated with increased aggression and physical behavior okay sowe have this little thing in our brain shaped like an almond and i didn't turn off my focusout of all things my phone just rings i should have known to put focus on before but i didn't doit and it said no caller id that would have been a double do not answer this phone call and it wasa dune trying to scam me he said how are you today ma'am i said you know i'm a little irritated that i'm in the middleof work and you're making a phone call to try and scam me his response wasf u f u f u uh go away we're talking about theamygdala and the fear and i bet mine's gonna be storing a little bit of angerfor these phone calls so with so knowing that the amygdala stores thosememories of fear those memories of trauma so thatwe can recognize and be on the alert and really be out of there before the restof our brain realizes what's going on is really important thatreally helped me understand so many of the feelings that i had hadfor so long that were extremely out of proportionin looking back on them at the time i didn't think they were out of proportion but in looking back on them i can seehow out of proportion they were to the current eventthe amygdala can be damaged in adults by surgeriesand things of that nature in children it can be damaged by intenseprolonged trauma that makes so much senseour brains are actually rewired in ways that we have no ideathat control when someone what happened yesterday i wasvacuuming or i was doing something somebody walked in the door and i freaked i jumped right out of myskin that that's that kind of response you get it it alerts you to danger beforethe rest of your brain even knows danger is present researchers have found lesionson the amygdala can cause vigilance and that's just what i wasspeaking of that jumping out of your skin when something's there that you don't expect to be there and just kindof shows up gotcha and your heart racesyour my heart rate goes up i can feel i start getting hot i getsweaty it's harder to breathe my breathing gets more rapid more shallow it's that dangerous like i've got to getout of here and i have to get out of here now i think what's interesting isin the reading i've been doing researchers are saying that the amygdalais responsible for keeping us in a constant stateof fear and anxiety this article herein flintrehab.com says unlike patients with paranoia a hyper vigilant personunderstands there is no actual threat they just cannotcontrol their physical response and those physical responses of anxietycan be damaging in so many ways the amygdala doesn't only controlour response to fear anxiety sadnessand regulating anger i forgot the word there for a minuteit also plays a crucial role in other cognitive functionsand can lead to if you have damage to that part of your brain it can lead to things such as poordecision making and impaired emotional memories thetraumatic experiences that we have can have there there's such a wide rangeof symptoms that affect all aspects of life of survivors of trauma thosesymptoms include clinically significant distress and impairment in socialoccupational and other areas of functioning traumaticexperiences also affect the amygdala by leading to significantstructural and functional changes in the brain and it pretty much controlsour emotional and our cognitive abilities and processing so let me tell you a little bit more that i have herepulled up in certain documents on my pages and then i may tell you my experienceand how it's affected me through the years and at times has made mewant to cease existence so the hepa cannabis cannabis if i saidthat correctly and the amygdal work together and what they do is the amygdala encodesthe emotional aspect of a memory why the hepa canvas hippocampusplease correct me controls the context the combination of them working togetherstrengthens overall memory that may explain why memories of life-changingevents such as weddings are more clear than other mundane experienceshowever it says if the amygdala is damaged the double encoding cannot happenyou cannot put the experience within the context which makes a hugefreaking deal if you can't put that memory in the context in which ithappened it can pop up anytime and anything that reminds you of thatexperience can bring it forth and make it that much more difficult to controlresearchers have found that lesions on the amygdala actually controlwhat we see in other people we're constantly surveying themif they're safe or not we don't know that this is happening it's just it's just happening we're looking for dangerand if we need to flee and i tell you what mine has not always worked 100 of the time wella lot less than that so let's go into what happened to me andhow these flashbacks they don't just affect me they affect everyone in mylife when i was a little girl i was rarely celebrated i can remembermaybe one birthday party my mother would maybe buy a cake andgive me a card i only remember one time that i was made to like feel special onmy birthday but i do remember the way my dad treated my mother on her birthday onvalentine's and things like that and so i knew that my mom meant a lot to my dadbut that wasn't coming my way i was sort of just shoved off it made me feel lessthan it made me feel really insecure it made me feel like i really wasn'tworth anything and when i got married i think my oldest daughter when did shestart this she noticed that my husband wasn't really recognizing my birthday hewasn't recognizing valentine's day and christmas shopping was a last-minuteevent like christmas eve that really hurt my feelings because i'm thinkingyou know i'm on the other end of that i'm thinking for weeks what the perfect thing would bei did not realize at the time that those emotions i had were beingnot only the emotions i were having that i was having in the present but they were beingmagnified by the way i had felt at the most dangerousmost difficult times of my childhood so when you combine the two together i was likeoff the charts with them with emotion and you know someone a typical person that didn'thave the the uh childhood neglect that i had would probably respond to it in acompletely different manner i didn't i would be severely hurt now there werea lot of things that led up to that that i think when you mesh everything together itmade it even more significant that it would have been but my daughter oh gosh i don't know how well let's see mymother died in 2006. i'm going by cars yet years ofcars um i had a jaguar and i think that's the first year mydaughter did it she recognized that things weren't happening and shewas recognizing i was feeling left out i was feeling alone here i was dealing with eight kidsmy grandson all of the friends everything was going onand mom was being left out here on mother's day here on my birthday it hit mehard my oldest daughter recognized that and what she would doshe would decorate my car get balloons buy a cake she would have these reallycute little gifts that she would give me and she did this for yearsbecause she knew there was something missing in me she knew how it affected me i don't thinkshe knew then about my childhood in the way that i wastreated then but she could see what was going on in the household and it would send meinto a really deep depression and it it is in those times that i felti wasn't worth anything and actually taking another breath of airmight be stealing it from another person because if i wasn't worth anythingwhy be here so she did all of this stuff for me andthen on my 47th birthday she did something really amazing and sheyou know i've got to hand it to the girl she and i have not spoken in a whilebut she really went a just all out she went all outit was on my 47th birthday and people started showing uplike they lived out of state my brother and then my other brothermy aunts we went to a um i didn't know that they were planning a surprise partyand we had a motorcycle event to go to and i kind of had a feeling somethingwas up but i wasn't sure so we went to this motorcycle event my sister-in-lawsaid she wasn't feeling well she really needed to get get home and i'm like but we just got hereso we go home get back to the house and i had a feeling the energy wasdifferent in my house so i went down into the guest suite that we had built on for my momand there were balloons there were streamers my aunts were theremy brothers friends people i didn't even know and it was an all-out surprisecostume party with the most beautiful cake i had ever seeni was blown away i was totally blown away that my daughter realizedi needed to feel important and she made it happen so my husband doesn't really feel thesame way about birthdays and i don't think he understood for a long timewhy it was so important to me why valentine's meant something to mewhy christmas meant something to me and why my feelings were so hurt if a kidwas set out sent out with a credit card or nothing was even thought of but wasbought the day of christmas eve i don't think he understood why i was sohurt i didn't understand why i was so hurt but i was i was devastatedand it was all of those memories from childhood telling me i wasn'tworth it and they were hitting me hot and furiousand they would really send me like i said into the depths of despairinto a depression that i a lot of times didn't think i was going to be able to come out ofi know people looked at me and thought what is your problem you're such a selfish brateven me i was thinking what you know what the heck is going on here why is this affecting me like this i seeother people and they're not it's not happening to them well thanks mom and dadi really appreciate you know i love my parents like i said i love my parentsbut this is one of the things my recovery that has meant the most and has explained the most to mein my reactions in my overreaction and things of that natureyou know i understand there are certain things that aren't as importantto other people as they are to me logicallyemotionally it's really hard i mean i've had 60years of this amygdala hijacking amygdala hijacking going on i had noidea what it was i just felt i wasn't worth it now it makes sense does it hurt lessno it doesn't hurt less in any way but it makes sensewhen i think of how hard my daughter worked to pull all of this off i'mabsolutely blown away one that she sensed itand two that she followed through and she made sure her momfelt special and as i said i didn't always i didn't understandwhy it really bothered me you know i think part of me thought you know i'm working my butt off raising all of thesekids and homeschooling these kids and i don't know i think i felt i wasn'treally appreciated but there again that comes from mychildhood i wasn't appreciated when i was a kid i was appreciated by my father after mymother died very appreciated as a matter of fact after my mother died my dad and i builtthis incredible relationship and it really it made me understand alot more of what was going on and some of the choices were madebut you know what that trauma is still imprinted on my soul it's stillimprinted in my amygdala and so when something like that happensimmediately before my brain can logically work it out i flash back i get into an emotionalflashback and it is absolutely devastating you know it also goes a longway in ex explaining well my startle response which is really exaggerated and people have laughed atme all my life for it but it also explains my intensefear well i guess a fear that i had i no longer have it of abandonmentnot only did my dad abandon me every month when i was growing up and mymother would lock us out of the house or at least me and she would lock her bedroom door and really had no emotionalno emotional connection with my mother growing up i have this you know this huge thing of abandonmentand there were times when things would happen that made no sense to me as i said beforewhy it was so severe why it completely overwhelmed meand made me go to those dark dark places where i should never have gonenot only did i have the fear of being abandoned i saw what my dad's motherdid to him and his brother and his sisters so that was ingrained in me also if yourmother can just haphazardly give kids away here and there you know i think i think kind of byproxy i got my dad's abandonment issues but i don't i don'thave those abandonment fears anymore i think in some areas i do i think my dogespecially my german shepherd i think she really helped and pete walker speaks about that of howour furry friends can help heal those wounds and my dog karmai am so i just love her i've never loved a dog this much she has helped me get through somany things and i can honestly say the fear of abandonment it's really it's really not there idon't have it anymore maybe it's a hardened shell i don't know butum that's one thing i'm glad is gone as for everything else i'm glad iunderstand it and i wanted to go through pete walker's book here trying to get through my microphonebecause he has this toolbox in the back of this bookcomplex ptsd from surviving to thriving and it's all aboutmanaging flashbacks there are 13 stepsfor managing emotional flashbacks and one of the things that i started doingfirst when i felt that fear come on and that panici realized i was in a flashback that was huge for mei'd stop i'd breathe i would try to rememberor figure out what was causing the flashback what memory from childhood was causingthat flashback and get myself through it sort of one second at a time at firstthen one minute at a time and then five minutes at a time and then i started doing thewhich i always thought was kind of hokey because i don't know i i think that was something else my dad instilled in me isjust the fear of feeling stupid that's still with me i mean the fear offeeling stupid is still with me big big big big timebut to talk to a little girl that's not there but she is therebecause she's in me and try and calm her down get her through that fear get her through thattime that she's going to be safe and and re-parentif you are myself i haven't got through all of that in these books and hopefully i will but that's something that'sreally helped a lot and i wanted to go through some of these things that pete walker speaks about because i think you guys are going tofind it really really helpful at least i haveone of the first of his 13 steps for managing emotional flashbacksis to say to yourself and to recognize i'm having an emotionalflashback believe me it helps a ton pete says flashbacks take you into atimeless part of the psyche that feels is helplessand hopeless and surrounded by danger as you were in childhoodthe feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memoriesthat can't hurt you now remind yourself step two remind yourselfi feel afraid right now but i'm not in dangeri feel hurt right now but i'm not in danger he says i'm safe now here in thepresent remember you are now in the safety of the presentfar far from the danger you faced in the pastnumber three own your right and your need to have boundaries i havedone that actually i didn't even realize that that was part of one of his steps but irealized my boundaries i can't really say they dawned on me you know 10 years agoit was within the last two years i realized how much i needed to set boundaries and i found myself wherein times past i would say anything you need i'll do anything you needi've stopped short and that's just an example i've said i'm here for youi've gotten myself in trouble by over committing i've gotten myself in trouble by letting negativity into my life and ii just don't do that anymore if there's an argument going on i disengageif i can i disengage i leave i don't have room for negativityin my life i have enough of it as a kid my gosh six years old i need a break i'mtaking a break from it he says on step three remind yourself that you do not have to allowanyone to mistreat you you're free to leave dangeroussituations and protest unfair behaviorspeak reassuringly which is number four to your inner child the child needs to know that you lovehim or her unconditionally because we were only loved conditionallybefore that they can come to you for comfort and security and you will be therenumber five is deconstruct eternity thinkingin childhood fear and abandonment felt endless a safer future was unimaginableand i think i've told you guys i knew for sure i couldn't take care of myselfwhen i was a young adult i knew that 100 i could not take care of myselfand that was my future but he's saying to abandon that thinking processnumber six remind yourself that you are in an adult body oh my goshwhat a huge huge thing that iseven when i'm at parties or i'm going to see some of my friends perform orsomething i have to remind myself i am in an adult body because otherwise i feel like a child and like i have noright to walk up on them to say hello to them or whatever and i'm really in checkwith myself i haven't always been but i sort of swung one way and then swung back theother and that's something that i really need to remember i'm an adult body i'm in an adult bodyi cannot be hurt the way i was when i was a kid i have the mind of 60 years ihave the wisdom hopefully of 60 years and i can figure something out okay indestructing eternity thinkingremember this flashback will pass as it always has beforeand that's something i started doing without this exactwording but thinking okay so farmy goal of making it through the other to the other side has been 100and i've been able if i have been able to make it to the other side 100 of the time i can do it this time sometimesit's like i'm hanging on by my fingernails but i can make it number seven he says ease back into yourbody we have a tendency when these things happen to disassociateand i know that there were years that i had disassociated probably a good amount of my life wasspent in disassociation but he says fear launches launches youinto heady worrying or numbing and into spacing outplaying video games being stuck on the computer which i am i'm on the computerall the time says gently ask your body to relaxfeel each of your major muscle groups and encourage them to relaxtighten muscles send false danger signals to your brain that's somethingi've learned to do at night i have a very difficult difficult time going tosleep and i'll lie there and i will feel i'll close my eyes and i start at my toes i'll feelmy feet on the sheets i feel the fan i listen i try to be in the moment andfeel every part of it and that really brings me back into my body it helps me to stop worrying somuch and i'm usually able to go to sleep without a sleeping pill which is likehuge for me breathe deeply and slowlythat's something i've had to learn and i've been practicing thatwhen you hold your breath that also signals danger so that's going to justintensify what you're feeling if you're holding your breath slow downwhen you rush it presses your brain's flightfight button so slow down calm downbreathe deeply find a safe place my safe place is usually my studioor in my bedroom find a safe place to unwind and soothe yourself wrap yourself in a blanket iuse weighted blankets i need to get another one because the one i got wasreally way too heavy for me and i gave it to my daughter but i found that the heaviness of the comforters and thepillows and all of the blankets makes a tremendous difference with me and myanxiety and it's like hold a pillow or a stuffed animal okay in my worst of dayswhen i was barely making it through and i didn't know if i would live to see the next second i had this cat that i hadbought a little beanie baby cat and i had that cat with me all the time and i'mthinking my gosh terry you're in your 40s why are you holding this stupid dumb cat well you know what this explains whyi was hoping holding on to that cat it gave me this comfort and if i didn't have that cat with me or i couldn't seethat cat i started getting really really panicky a lot of anxiety and i had a toywhen i was a kid that was a clown of all things a clown and i had that clown and it really itdid the very same thing for me and when i found out my dad threw that away as an adult i went into a full-blownpanic attack my dad didn't know it but i lost it i had to turn around and leaveand i lost it because my safety source had been thrown away it was goneand i used to talk to my clown his name was cleedy if you want to know i don't know how he got that namebut i used to talk to him and have conversations and he was my friend he kept me safe he watched over me justlike my pretend family did all right and pete also says feel the fear in your body withoutreacting to it fear is just an energyin your body it cannot hurt you if you don'trun from it i have never heard that beforethat makes huge sense and i tell you that's something i'm going to use fear is just an energywow right now that that's a pretty profound moment for me to realize thatbecause fear always it always held the trigger on mebut if i can relegate it to just an energy that's a whole lot easierthan seeing talons gripping me his number eight is resist the innercritics drasticizing and catastrophizing contract i can't say that couldyou know what i'm talking about okay stop use thought stopping to halt the criticsendless exaggerations of danger and it's constant planningto control the uncontrollable that's one thing i think i've gottenpretty good at or a lot better is i realize you know i can't control thati'm not going to worry about it would i like it to be different oh yeah i'd love it to be different but i'm not going tocontrol it so why worry about it because then it has power over me andi'm not going to let that happen i'm glad he put that in there and i'm glad that i've been doing thathe says refuse to shame or hate or abandon yourselfit's hard to do sometimes i'm working on it not quite there but to refuse that to channel the angerof self-attack into saying no to your inner critic's unfair self-criticismuse thought substitutions and thought correction to replace negative thinkingwith your memorized list of your qualities and accomplishmentsand that's something we haven't talked about is making that list of your good qualitiesand all that you have accomplished in your lifeand remember that because really this fear that controls us is a tiny part of ourlife and if we don't keep it in perspective it's going to take overand take over our entire life allow yourself to grieve this is hardfor me i avoid any video that has crying or that's going to make me cry i don'twant to do it it brings up too much for me that's something that i really need towork on allowing myself to grieve says flashbacks are opportunities torelease old unexpressed feelings of fear hurt and abandonmentvalidate and soothe your inner child's past experience ofhelplessness and hopelessness healthy grieving can turn your tearsinto self-compassion and your anger into self-protectioncultivate safe relationships and seek supporttake time alone when you need it but don't let shame isolate youand that does that to me i find myself self-isolating a lot and i don't i don'ti don't like it but and it's difficult and i find the more i self-isolate the more difficult it is toget out of that isolation phase feeling shame doesn't mean that you're shamefuleducate the people around you about your flashbacksi've tried to and ask them to help you talk and feel your waythrough them that's a hard one for me i don't know if it is for you or not a lot of us havegotten into relationships where people who are just as damaged as we areand in my case it is well i'm stronger than that and i cancontrol that i'm sorry you can't and then you're left feeling like an idiot and that's not true atleast i can acknowledge it even if they're not going to do it i can do it for myself number 11learn to identify the types of triggers that lead to flashbacksavoid unsafe people places activities and triggering mental processespractice preventative maintenance with these steps when triggering situationsare unavoidable so i've done that people that trigger me i no longer have contact withthere are situations in my life though where certain triggers are unavoidable like my birthday like christmas likemother's day like valentine's day things like that and i'm gonna have what i've decided to doi'm going to do it myself i am going to take a vacation on my birthday and mother's day i'm going to get out of here i'm going to take careof myself if if if i'm not worth that to somebody elsei'm worth it to myself and i need to show myself that i am worth it and idon't need that held over my head that that's something that i needi need to validate validate my own feelings there also this is so crucial this is the last onenumber 13 be patient with a slow recovery processit takes time in the present to become de-adrenalizedand considerable time in the future to gradually decrease the intensitythe duration and frequency of flashbacks real recovery is a gradually progressiveproducts process often two steps forward one step backdo not beat yourself up for having a flashbacki need to remember that because i do i beat myself up when i allow myselfto have a flashback but now that i'm realizing that that tiny little part ofmy brain that little almond-shaped part of my brain is actually containingall of those memories not in context it's like how do you control that iguess you know just talk your way through it but i've made i can see so much progress i had therapy todaywith my psychiatrist who i see once a month and he was talking about that he can gradually see megetting better and better and better with the steps that i'm taking to take care of myselfinstead of having to have someone else take care of me he can seemy progression and that was amazing that was amazing to hearso yeah recovery is a slow process and i was watching a video i may havementioned it in the last episode i don't know and it was talking about you really have to come to a place in your lifewhere you feel safe enough to recoverand i didn't feel safe enough to recover until a couple of years ago i mean istarted the process i've been in therapy for like what12 years i i don't know the math on thati've been in therapy for 12 years so the first 10 years of therapybasically was prepping me for the last two years that i've hadand i feel now you know before i felt like every sessioni didn't want to be there that i was dumping my problems on them and i asked my psychiatrist today i saiddo you remember way back when i first started seeing you and i would tell you i was sorry forputting my problems on you and he laughed at me and he says yes i remember i said well i don't mind itanymore because you're one of the guys that helps keep me safe and healthyso remember that find someone safe that you can talk tonot everyone's safe and i had to find that out the hard waybut i am so happy that i now realize what an emotional flashback iswhy i felt the way i was feeling and how i can help control it because that justmeans i'm more in control of another part of my life and i'm notrelinquishing that control to another person with that we're about out of recordingtime i am going to thank you guys so much please leave a review if you wantto get in touch with me you can find my email email me you can email me at atdigging digging through domino's gmail.comyou can find my other me emails on either of my youtube sitesand i believe it's also on my podcast platforms i would love it if you wouldshare i hope that you get something out of the stuff that i've gone throughbecause my goal is for you not to have to gothrough everything i did and to have a happiermuch more conflict-free life until next week sky next week guysi'll talk to you then thank you for listening to diggingthrough dominoes make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes in the meantimeconnect with terry on facebook and instagram at digging through dominoes ontwitter at digging dominos and online at digging through dominos.comuntil next time thank you for listening [Music]you