Episode 6 in honor of our 69th day of having a podcast.  Nice.  Dev went to Thurby, which Kyle finds out isn’t Kentucky Derby, squeezable condiments, a lively discussion on fast foods, and THIS is when it gets crazier.  All that and more on the latest episode of Dev & Kyle Start The Apocalypse

Dev & Kyle went on vacation! The Dev & Kyle households are back from spring vacations and we missed each other.  Come along on a wild conversation that regales us with the reproductive habits of Gremlins, Parents in the 90s now have an interesting view on the trustworthiness of the Internet, Milk Sandwiches, Doctor Strange 2, and the FRISBEE! 00:00 Show Starts 00:39 I'm glad you only sound like you're dying 01:25 Time doesn't heal headwounds 02:22 Kyle stuck on repeat 04:30 American Medical clinic differences 5:30 Trigger warning:  Kyle makes noises 06:10 Here's some pain to numb the pain 06:50 Dev's counting 08:00 Dev & Kyle have kids, have you heard? 09:26 Destin is for families 10:05 Dev apologizes for the entire state of Kentucky 10:53 So here's what happened 12:10 Sorta forty ish 12:54 And that click?  Ka-chunk 13:18 Dev's yanking the grays 13:35 Spoiler Alert: Gremlins (1984) 14:21 TECHNICALLY.... 15:00 This needs to be explicit 15:20 Mogwai are just the larval stage of the Gremlins 15:40 Like Bacne 16:45 Wait, don't come at me, Disney 17:00 Let's fucking go, PhD Apocalyptos 17:30 It really is Theses 18:25 [email protected] 19:21 They'd like to see it 19:45 Yeehaw! 20:25 Kevin, it's me! 20:47 Say my name, say my name 21:28 Dev's mind is blown (much like the president from the 90s) 21:50 Dad, please remember you don't know anyone on the internet 22:31 Hello, Fellow Children 24:00 Cameras eat first, kids 24:50 Did you know Disney wants your money? 25:56 The Disney Gangs 28:10 Briar Patch Kids 30:30 She looks at me with tears on her face.... 31:30 Think tall thoughts 34:15 Cheeseburgers in Paradise 36:16 Winner Stays 37:08 The moment Dev threatens children 38:00 Spoiler Alert:  Doctor Strange 2 39:00 Spoiler Alert: Dev's bad opinions 41:00 It isn't disjointed, it just jumped all over the place 42:33 Wanda's got the power 43:40 Access to Spare Part Kids makes Disney more enjoyable 44:00 Spoilers over, back to Raiders of the Lost Ark 45:30 Dev likes movies with no drama 46:13 Tallahassee 46:30 Totally unrealistic, Toilet paper gets raided first 47:25 Milk Sandwiches 47:50 Speaking of people who are going insane 48:10 Joke TIME! 49:00 Dev's entire knowledge of frisbees 49:45 The man who invented frisbees invented the superball 51:00 Near Yale?  "Oh yeah, we invented it" 51:21 The Disc Pole Hole 51:50 The frisbee region of France or a sparkling disk 52:50 A frisbee on a roof 53:25 Dev & Kyle, famous podcasters 54:01 Take my right leg, cryogenics! 54:50 In which Kyle skips a joke 55:50 The dumbest and the coolest cyborg I ever met 56:09 Episode 1000 goals 57:10 Goodnight, everybody

Welcome to Episode Quatre!  Let's just apologize in advance to the French speaking Apocalyptos.  Hopefully, you'll still consider joining us for this (slightly melancholic) episode where we discuss Once in a Lifetime events, that being lazy is not a moral failing, who won the Clinton Administration, hot sauces (and where not to put them), how to pick dinner for the rest of your life, and the upcoming launch of our Cryptocurrency! 00:00 Very first official opening with Chase's theme 00:45 The Spanish get off easy 01:00 Gird your loins, French listeners 01:57 Kyle defends the French, Dev counts in French 02:08 Sorry Paris 03:10 You can't prove a negative 03:40 Things are unraveling 04:00 Were we just the spark on the dry powder? 04:25 Hot take:  Wars suck 5:00 News is hard to consume these days 5:20 Once in a lifetime, every 5 years 06:10 Kyle fondly remembers the presidents of his youth 6:48 Blowgate was called Once in a Lifetime 7:05 Dev depresses Kyle 7:30 Dev tempts Disney lawyers again 08:25 Everybody's got a Plus 08:50 The least depressing part came 23 years later 09:24 Dev will die on that hill 09:40 Some nobody from nowhere 10:00 Dev isn't fair 10:25 Everyone needs therapy 10:50 Cry in a Lambo, if you can 11:00 Sponsorships open! 11:30 In which Kyle's son is a con man 11:55 Extremely well off like Bernie Madoff 12:20 He didn't say it ran 12:40 Dev's former hobby 13:20 Kyle's first car 13:55 HOT STOCK TIP - CDs! 14:50 A new character is introduced 15:10 The lazy way wins the day 15:40 Lower case for the common man 16:00 Let's hear it for the easy way 16:15 Not a moral failing 16:30 Kyle doesn't write emails twice 17:35 Kyle lets Apocalyptos in on the secret 18:15 No one reads their email 18:35 Time saving tip 19:10 Perfection is never worth it 19:40 Anxiety is a bitch 19:55 You can rise to the top of the heap without grammar, Mrs. Donaldson 20:30 Teachers expected you to actually write a lot LESS 21:10 Imagine handwriting at the office, kids 21:30 Dev sets us straight 22:00 "Work talk" is better than "Nuke talk" 22:30 Down the rabbit hole 23:20 The reality is there if you sift through the bullshit 25:05 The worst kind of funhouse mirror 25:45 People like this really exist 26:23  That's all I'm saying 26:40 The human mind is a very soft toy to play with 27:15 If you question, you can be MORE sure of yourself 27:50 Kyle got a BS in BS 28:25 Facebook doesn't count 29:15 Kyle quit being a convincer 29:45 Kyle can't do a 13 percenter 30:05 Dev is far more generous than Kyle 30:20 If you're getting all your news from Dev & Kyle [email protected] 30:45 Dev has a stroke 31:00 "You keep saying it and it doesn't get any better" 31:26 "Oh Fetch, that's better" 32:00 Kyle used to have a lot of opinions 32:25 An Op-Ed about Wordle.... 33:00 Million bucks, not a lot these days 33:20 Let's go back to Dev making up bad words 33:40 Wordle is spelled Wordel in America b/c Wordle is British 34:15 "Goan do me a Wurdel" 34:35 Dev's opinion policy is refined in his old age 35:08 "I don't have an opinion on that" 35:36 Dev would get thrown out of Kyle's house at dinner time 36:10 Dev will kill a grown man for pizza and wings 36:35 Hanger kills relationships 36:58 Kyle reveals relationship advice 37:30 Dev got an app and promptly forgot he got it 38:25 No way to predict this predicament 38:57 That doesn't happen to children 39:10 Dev is a creature of habit 39:40 Introducing spice 40:30 Kyle establishes dominance with his children 41:05 He already knows Dad is on top 41:30 Jumped the gun on blazing sauce 42:20 Cholula is respectable 42:48 Dave's atomic asshole 43:25 The owner is the hero 43:55 Normally you pay double for that kinda action, Cotton 44:13 Open your third eye 44:36 Dev is pro turning everyone on 45:10 Baby Life Scarring 46:00 The salsa was very good 46:22 "Oh, I've done that" 46:48 Mayo on your junk 47:10 Mr Jimmy is going to squeal 47:23 Jalapeno Chalmydia 47:34 Habanero Clap 48:00 JOKE TIME 48:33 Dev's joke followup 49:15 Nothing new going on in Latin 49:45 Apprentice Debated 50:21 FOR A LIVING! 51:00 Credits!  

Just two dads making a podcast. That’s the joke.

We're not cancelled!  Join Dev & Kyle as this finally becomes a relationship and not a one night stand.  Tonight's fare includes not one but TWO pieces of fan mail, Dev finds out what generation he's in, we get REAL nostalgic for horrible noises, Tim Curry's discography, the fact that Kyle hates shoes AND MORE!   2:00 We got fan mail from Bob [email protected] 3:00 2nd piece of mail may not be fan mail, but we're not gonna read it 3:45 Covid is in the house 5:15 Covid isn't fake, quit us 7:00 Amanda is a fan, it is declared 7:30 We did not name Home Alone  8:00 How did we name the show? 8:45 Dev got top billing 10:15 Dev breaks Kyle's brain 10:45 Reaction videos are an art form rarely done well 13:15 Oregon Trail generation represent 13:45 Hoagies and Grinders 14:45 Kyle's parents taught him how to use a phone  book 15:30 No wonder Dev & Kyle get along 16:15 A phone line IN YOUR ROOM!?! 17:00 a story in which papa Dev seems oblivious 18:00 Dial-up sound:  the most beautiful screech 18:30 Getting on and getting off 20:00 Kyle would use his computer for hours without being online but FOR WHAT??? 21:00 Video games didn't need you to be online 21:25 Tim Curry's best roles of all time 22:15 Tim Curry's discography 22:45 What will Dev's wiki entry say? 23:15 Dev's disinformation campaign about Kyle 23:30 Kyle is the Kanye of this podcast 25:00 Lil Nas X makes the show 26:10 Montero is a banger, but not for kids 26:36 Kyle won't defend Dev's fathering 26:45 KidzBops from the Other Side 27:55 Hidden gems in the lyrics 28:55 KidzBopWop 29:10 Stay hydrated, Kids 29:52 Its got what plants crave 32:00 The dark reminder 33:50 A discussion on sock sales 36:44 A scientific poll regarding sock usage [email protected] 37:30 Kyle would never wear shoes again 40:00 Soles are what connects us to the Earth 40:45 Dev's version of heaven is the shoed vs the unshod 41:15 Kyle's version of heaven is the TSA 41:30 Segues are Kyle's favorite hobby 41:45 Skin or no skin? 42:09 some words are fun to say 42:30 Unblemished? 42:48 Some questions have answers 43:15 My evil lion uncle has a first name 44:00 According to native Swahili speakers on the internet 44:45 Benefit of the doubt 45:02 The hardest question Kyle has ever asked Dev 45:50 Some questions are unanswerable 46:22 Oops, shit, kid 47:00 Kyle finally tells a bad joke 47:45 Kyle's got a hot take on Aladdin [email protected] 48:20 Robin Williams is a better genie 49:30 Kyle forgets about 3-4 Disney movies for boys 50:00 Disney princesses, not the greatest role models 50:30 Dev explains it, chasing the man is a bad plot 50:50 Brave is the first non-misogynist Disney movie 52:16 Best song in the live action Aladdin is the Jasmine 52:55 Will Smith is fine.  He's weird.  He's Tom Cruise Crazy [email protected] 53:30 Bat shit crazy, makes good movies 53:45 Kyle has never seen Tropic Thunder 54:00 Tropic Thunder is a teensy bit problematic 54:36 Kyle makes a promise for a future episode 55:25 Punching up as they say 55:45 RDJ takes down method actors 56:00 the terrible Joke Time Drop 56:30 This joke takes place in a bar 58:17 Positive reinforcement 58:45 BONUS JOKE! 59:15 Comments on Fast Food chains 60:00 Speaking of genitalia, Dev 1:00:35 What I doo doo 1:01:30 Dev, Man of Culture 1:02:00 Roman people were degenerates [email protected] 1:03:00 First Yelp Reviews, a poo review 1:03:30 When everyone has a dress, you've got a portable stall door 1:04:25 Spread Eagle is optional 1:05:25 Rome, New York must be double fucked 1:06:00 Plumbing fans [email protected] 1:06:40  CONSTANT EXPLOSIONS 1:07:25 The sewer story to end all stories 1:08:00 Aelian, Roman author, tells us of a foreigner who comes to Puteoli 1:08:30 Spoiler alert: They're not great 1:08:50 This has to be a joke, right? 1:09:25 Before germs were invented 1:10:00 Dev questions the ...  LOGISTICS? of this situation.  That's Dev's first question??? 1:10:47 these jokes write themselves folks 1:11:00 Clean ass?  No.  Unexploded ass?  Good day 1:12:20 The 2nd person to try something isn't crazy 1:12:45 Theater of the Mind 1:13:00 Kyle teaches us about the coffee plant 1:13:30 We find the thing that grosses out Dev 1:14:00 This coffee is fucking delicious 1:14:48 Number 2 1:15:00 Human see, Human do 1:15:40 The third option is the practical joke 1:16:00 Roasted, got 'em! 1:16:45 Sorry Matt Damon 1:17:20 The exact opposite of the laws of physics

The first episode!  Dev & Kyle figure out where the record button is and introduce themselves to each other.  Kyle's 2nd favorite joke, moms are saints, True Crime vs Train wrecks, Dev won fish, a discussion on movies about horrible people, and more!   0:00 There's no theme song 0:20  The very first Dad joke of many 1:00 The captive audience for dad jokes 2:16 Plymouth rock stories from the old man 3:40 Kyle can't wait for the power 4:16 In which we declare our American identity 6:18 The first mention of the Apocalypse 6:41:  Real Talk for Dads:  The Road by Cormac McCarthy 8:00 Zip-tie hugs 8:30 The road spoiler alert 9:15 dads start crying more after they have kids 10:13 Spoiler Alert Over 10:15  We gained so much respect for our wives during pregnancy 12:00 1 crying child is worth 2 not crying children 13:20  age gaps of your children 15:00 Gondor! 15:25 Dev & Kyle are perfect fathers who remind you of Buddha in their parenting styles 17:00 Mrs. Dev sees the error of her ways 17:41 A discussion about serial killer proclivities 18:37 True Crime vs train wrecks 19:11 Mrs. Kyle loves the true crime 20:00 Mrs. Kyle is actually not in a Mexican cartel 21:00 Dev is huge in a lot of places 21:23 A story of not playing university basketball 22:20 Things Kyle should have known 23:00 The best prize is a story 23:55 Kyle is not a child, but he does have the worst segues 24:26 Evidence of bone cancer in a dinosaur 25:37 ABC's Dinosaurs 25:58 Chris Pratt 27:30 Keanu is the New Age Keanu, actually 28:03 The very first defense of the children, many more to come 28:32 The Kids of Today o'clock 28:47 a stunning lack of preparation 29:00 [email protected] 29:42 that's how words work 30:00 see ya 50% of the audience 30:34 we set the bar really low 31:20 where we set the depravity level 31:54 The duality of fatherhood 32:28 doesn't even need to cool off first 32:51  Kyle is no better than Bear Grylls 33:20 Discovery+ wooing begins 33:50 Dr. Oakley, Yukon Vet 34:36 Tumor on a goldfish 34:51 Dev reboots Kyle 35:20 Please forget the shock for your goldfish 36:30 Acquisition of goldfish that will never die 37:00 Dev gets tricked into being a fish daddy 38:04 Dev got them all the way to 5-6 inches 38:31 Dev loved his fish and he murdered them 39:00 that fish is faking it 39:38 Betta Bling 39:48 Food Chainz, the joke that made us hire an audio engineer 40:30 Kyle shares a secret and creates a promise for episode 100 41:45 a very high brow conversation 42:30 Get right or get out 42:48 Tips for saving time with mental health professionals 43:36 Jokes on first dates 44:02 17 isn't late, it is normal 44:23 Manor Mood, activate 45:05 She could be gone any day now 45:40 a discussion of what makes an adult 46:37 24 year olds are children 47:40 Sidekicks are the best 48:35 HIPAA violations & lawyers 49:20 We're selling out in episode 1 49:55 In which Kyle apologizes for the first time 50:38 The cynicism is used to solve crimes Link to subscribe to the podcast 52:10 Coke doesn't remove blood from the interstate 53:03 Jackson Porkchop 53:13 Comedy advice 54:25 Joke repair 54:45 You're a bad person for not laughing 56:15 Get yourself some Myrrh 57:00 Kyle has strong opinions about Home Alone 58:00 Kyle doesn't have background TV 58:31 Never have I ever 59:25 Christmas Story is a good movie 59:40 We have rules around here 1:00:10  Every single adult who appears on-screen and speaks in Home Alone is objectively a bad person 1:01:00  the 90s were wild 1:01:45  The number 1 thing to know is that Kyle is right 1:04:15 Dev defends the old man 1:04:33 Kyle stands behind the assertion about the old man, he can't get over himself 1:06:33 Life is like a bell curve 1:07:33 Dev apologizes for the first time [email protected] 1:07:54 Kyle doesn't care 1:08:30 The old man is about to shit himself so he can be forgiven 1:10:42 Kentucky gets no respect 1:11:21 Kyle will never google it 1:11:39 M&Ms are colorist 1:11:49  Van Halen means more browns 1:14:00 McDonald's Hot Coffee Lady was not a moron 1:14:40 It is 85C, listeners 1:15:32  Elderly jingly bits 1:16:00 Dev proposes the Yeti origin story 1:17:00 Dev proposes the coffee debate 1:18:00 Roadmap for the episode 2