Have you ever had a conflict, talked it through, repaired it, and still didn’t feel close afterward?In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares a recent date-night conflict with Greg that started with one small question: “What do you want for dinner?” But like so many relationship moments, it was not really about dinner. It was about decision fatigue, mental load, expectations, and the deeper feeling of not being seen.Dr. Tracy explores why repair does not always create instant closeness, even when both partners have taken ownership and talked through what happened. Sometimes your front brain understands that you are okay, but your nervous system has not caught up yet. She explains why shame often shows up in that gap, why self-compassion matters, and how to stop criticizing yourself for needing time.You’ll also learn three small ways to reconnect after conflict: choose physical touch that feels accessible, share one thing from your day that is not about the fight, and do one small caring action that says, “We’re in this together.”Because closeness does not always return all at once. Sometimes it comes back through one small, values-aligned step toward each other.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODELooking for a therapist in Canada? Check out our practice at iwtherapyUnderstand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say. One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.Learn the proven framework that helps couples after conflict in my After the Fight: How to Repair Workshop.Listen to this episode so you know what not to do when it comes to giving a meaningful apology.Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here. WANT TO GO DEEPER?Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with youGrab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for ThisRead the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get exclusive Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here.Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.Grab my free guide: Five Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACYSubscribe to You Tube  Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices