What do you do when you’re trying to build more emotional intimacy, but your partner says, “I’m just not a feelings person”?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg answer a listener question from Michael, a husband who has been doing his own personal work around people-pleasing, anxious attachment, intimacy, and emotional connection. He wants to talk more openly with his wife about feelings, needs, and desire, but she often becomes defensive or says she doesn’t see a problem in the relationship.Dr. Tracy and Greg explore why therapy language can be helpful, but also why it can create distance when one partner starts using new labels or tools before the other partner is ready. They talk about how to stay curious instead of boxing your partner in, why “I’m not a feelings person” may actually mean “Can you see me as I am?”, and how some partners connect more naturally through side-by-side experiences, rituals, humour, shared activities, or being in the moment rather than formal check-ins.They also look at desire differences, responsive desire, vacation sex, and why the better question may not be “Why don’t you want sex with me?” but “What context makes pleasure and connection more accessible for you?”Because emotional intimacy does not have to look the same for both partners. The work is learning how to recognize the ways your partner already lets you in, while also staying connected to what matters to you.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEReady to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with youGet your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here. WANT TO GO DEEPER?Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say. Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for ThisBuild better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and PerceptionsGet exclusive Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here.Is your partner defensive?  Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.Grab my free guide: Five Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACYSubscribe to You Tube  Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow on Facebook ⁠⁠⁠Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices