As the cost for a traditional burial rises each year and as people have become more environmentally conscious about our land shortage, Cremation has become the preferred choice for many Australians, With over 70% of funerals now involving a cremation.   There is no textbook to tell you what to do in these circumstances, and suddenly you find yourself in a situation having to decide whether to cremate or bury your loved one.  Subsequently, you then have to make a decision about what to do with their ashes.   Just recently there was a lot of media coverage about a fan allegedly throwing a bag containing her mum’s ashes at a Pink Concert.   And it prompted a lot of people to think what they would do with their loved ones ashes.   Today I have a chat with Oliver & Yaz from the URN Collective to discuss the options on what to do with someone’s ashes.   Urn Collective      

Jo Lincoln is no stranger to the podcast.  In fact, she was my first ever guest and I am absolutely delighted to have her back, talking about her new book - "Is this normal?" Grief is uncomfortable, it is complex and everyone experiences it differently. At times it feels overwhelming and all consuming, and indeed very abnormal.  Jo is a death doula, a celebrant, a certified grief educator, a counsellor with Griefline and now a published author. And today we have a lovely conversation, normalising grief in the early days after someone dies Links Is this normal?  Griefline 

20 percent of women or 1 in 5 may experience a pregnancy loss in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy.  That is 1 early pregnancy loss every 5 mins in Australia.  Behind these statistics are real people.  So many people walk this lonely road, yet often we never know.  It’s such a silent and isolating grief, not being able to talk with anyone about it. And having to act like it never happened... The chances are someone you know and love will have experienced an early pregnancy loss and it is very important that we all learn how to support grieving parents better.   I have to admit, my experience of miscarriage or early pregnancy loss is from a professional point of view.  I have walked with many parents to honour their precious babies but I haven’t experienced this type of loss myself.   But I do know that there isn’t enough understanding of the grief around this type of loss.  But I want to educate myself and learn more.   In an effort to being more open to learning how we can support couples who have experienced pregnancy loss,  I have invited Karen Schlage to be a guest.    Karen’s 2 babies – Charlie and Sophia both died in the 2nd trimester of each pregnancy.  Although it is very bittersweet, Karen is now doing incredible work in honouring them and advocating for those facing pregnancy loss.   This is a wonderful chat and I think we can all learn something from it.   LinksKaren's Website  Churchill FellowshipPink Elephants

I believe we have a collective responsibility to continue to do death better.  Grief is a very lonely and isolating experience for those going through it.   Grief can also make us feel uncomfortable because we don't know what to say or do to offer support  Today in this episode of Deadly Serious Conversations podcast, Melinda Whyman and I discuss how to help us learn to be a better support person to someone who is grieving.     Navigating how to comfort a friend or family member during such a difficult time is overwhelming  — but don’t let the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing hold you back from trying to help at all.

Funerals have changed dramatically in the last decade. Not that long ago, they followed a very standard procedure. Often mourners wore black, Most funerals were burials Religion played a big part and there were very few personal touches.  In this episode of the podcast, I have a wonderful chat with Stan Commings  who is  almost 94 years young! Stan dedicated his working life to working in the funeral industry.  People like Stan paved the way for those of us who work in the industry now.   And I really enjoyed hearing his stories.  We have so much to learn from history but it is also fascinating to see how things have changed. This conversation was a lovely reminder to me, of how important it is to capture and preserve the thoughts and memories of our older generations.   And how recording stories leaves a legacy of living history for future generations.  And I would like to thank Stan for sharing his stories with me.  

In this episode of the podcast, I have a wonderful chat with Rebecca Lyon  Rebecca is an Independent Funeral director based in Tasmania who works in the area of Home Based death care and family led funerals  She is also the founder of You N Taboo, a local Tasmania Initiative, dedicated to promoting and dispelling some of the taboos around death and dying to encourage a healthier culture around death and Helping to make the conversation about death and dying, just another part of life.   In this rich conversation with have a frank and honest chat about Home Based death care.   Many people don’t realise that choosing to spend time – whether that’s a short time or a longer period,   with a loved one who has died, in their home, is an option available to them.   Many think it’s illegal to keep a body at home and believe the process may be too difficult.  And although this option may not appeal to everyone, it is important to know that  our loved ones CAN be cared for at home,  after they die allowing their family to be an integral part of the death and funeral process and giving them precious time prior to their funeral.   We have a great chat about whats involved in this model of care and how a supportive funeral director may help with the more difficult parts of the process.  Rebecca’s wonderful Tedx Talk titled “three steps into the Heart of Home Funeral” provides a wonderful insight into moving death and dying back into the home – where it was common practice for hundreds of years.   And how it can change the grieving process.  Although the requirements around after-death care and Home Based death care do vary from state to state, this is a wonderful conversation. so that we can make better informed choices about the options available  I hope you find this as informative as I do.   Ted talk  - 3 Steps into the heart of Home Funeral  You n Taboo NDAN Australian Home Funeral Alliance  

In this episode of the podcast I talk to the Lovely Dr Annetta Mallon from Gentle Death Education and Planning about Advance Care Plans. During our conversation we discuss why Advance Care Plans are so important and how they allow you to think about and document your wishes should you be unable to make those decisions yourself.  Advance care plans are not only for the elderly or the unwell.   They are important things to think about at any age.All of us are different and we need to ensure that our values and preferences around living and dying are documented, so those preferences can be adhere to. Dr Annetta Mallon 

End of Life conversations  are tough conversations to start.      We tend to avoid them because we don't want to cause upset, often we don't want to face reality and they may bring up uncomfortable emotions.  Anne supported her partner Greg through his cancer diagnosis and his treatment.  But following a terminal diagnosis, they had to learn how to live in the face of death.   Throughout their life together, Anne and Greg discussed everything, so it seemed only natural that following Greg's terminal diagnosis that their discussions included his end of life care.   They also spent time  planning his funeral and how he want his life to be celebrated and remembered.For Anne and Greg there was nothing left unsaid.  They spent time together making practical preparations for Greg's death.  What a gift this has been for Anne.     She felt confident that every descision she made, was exactly as Greg wanted it.  When someone dies the shock and grief can make decision making more difficult.  But conversations prior to death, can be an act of love and  help soften some of  the anguish for those left behind This is Anne & Greg's story.  

In this episode of the podcast, I have a chat to Katie Anne from a charity called Jacinta’s Smile is passionate about helping those suffering the loss of a sibling for bereaved children and young adults.   Katie Anne knows too well the grief when a sibling dies.   In an extraordinary set of circumstances, she has experienced it 3 times with the death of her brother Declan when she was a child, and her sister Jacinta and her brother Fintan when she was an adult.   Sibling grief is a forever process and there are so many different parts of your life that it touches.  Siblings are people that you grow up with. They are a part of your life from the beginning.   You don’t remember life without them and there is an expectation they will always be there in the future When a sibling dies, those bonds are shattered and that shared history has a void that cannot be filled.

This episode of Deadly Serious Conversations is on the topic of Voluntary Assisted Dying. " Voluntary Assisted Dying" is the term given in Australia, referring to the assistance given by a health practitioner to a person to end their life. The term “voluntary” assisted dying emphases the voluntary nature, of the choice, of the person and their enduring capacity to make this decision. Put simply, Voluntary Assisted Dying, means that some adults, can now ask for medical help to end their life, if they have a disease or illness, that is so severe that it is going to cause their death and their suffering cannot be relieved in a manner that is tolerable to them. Victoria was the first state in Australia to pass legislation allowing Voluntary Assisted Dying to happen. There is a very specific eligibility criteria for VAD and it is not available to everyone. In this conversation with Cheryl, we talk about her and her dad Jim’s experience when he availed of the VAD programme earlier this year. This is Jim’s story and it is definitely worth listening to so we can all learn more about VAD.