The Tim Conway Jr Show Hour 4 (8.5)  

Whenever President Trump lifts off in Marine One for Andrews Air Force Base, the skies around Ronald Reagan National Airport — just 3.5 miles away — are supposed to go completely quiet. No takeoffs, no landings. That rule was broken yesterday when a commercial jet blasted off while the president’s helicopter was still in the air, creating a serious near-miss that violated long-standing security protocol.  

The alleged Trump stalker arrested with a gun and bullets at Trump National Golf Club has an unusual first name — Jeanine — which immediately sent Timmy into Johnny Cash mode and “A Boy Named Sue.” That led to a classic Conway story: Back in his limo-driving days, Timmy once picked Cash up at LAX to drive him to a music festival in Antelope Valley where he was the main draw, spent three days chauffeuring him around greater LA, and watched the Man in Black insist on riding shotgun because he wasn’t that kind of celebrity. At the end of the gig, Cash handed him a golden ticket.  

Meanwhile, public pools are still open, but chlorine is not Purell. Cryptosporidium can live in the water for up to 10 days, and cyclospora isn’t just on your shredded lettuce anymore — so shower first and maybe keep your mouth closed. Chipotle is dealing with a jalapeño recall that may be tied to a salmonella outbreak, and Timmy admits he was so desperate at Burbank Airport that he accidentally charged into the women’s restroom. Nature did not care about the signs on the door. 

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