We are here today with the last and final part of Account Ability, here on The Ability Series. Today we speak from the title of "I Ain't A Hoe Ass Nigga, I'm Just Hurt!'...which embodies the perspective of a black man being hurt at the hands of a woman. Very often, as men, we dont develop the proper responses to our pain. And in this case, because our women are dear to us...this pain stings the most. BJ, and today's guest, Brotha2DaKnight of The drunken Knights Podcast, discuss this in detail. You will be surprise at how much alike these two men are, though the delivery may be different. Listen as we discuss the coming of age with women, and how we develop tactics to navigate a pain that truly hurts to feel. But we also discuss how we create those circumstances unknowingly, while still taking our causes to the effects completely for granted. this is accountability from men, on a very high level. Listen and tell us what you thought about the final part of the series. What should be the next series of abilities to discuss??? Let me know your thoughts!!!

Part 3 of The Ability Series is titled The Bad Guy Vs. The Villain. This is a space where your flaws become weaponized without your knowledge...or lack thereof. How do you maneuver through life and love with skills you don't have. BJ and today's guest, DJ Brainstorm of The DMSTBoyz, discuss how they adjusted to these difficult spaces in their manhood. We talk about accepting when you are at fault, without victimizing yourself. Accepting the things that you can't change about the past with healing and therapy. As well as steps to building the proper support system needed to implement the changes that need to be made. This is a conversation that most men don't have. And when we don't bring things to the forefront, villains are created. And emotional terror begins. Don't be that guy. Tune In and tell us what you think of this episode.

Welcome Back to the 2nd Part of The Ability Series. Today we are following up the first part, which was One Or The Other. That episode featured Shon Hyneman of It's Scary To Remarry. Previously, we discuss accountability in terms of discernment and decision making. This episode we discuss morals and integrity. But when we discuss this, it's not in the typical fashion that you are used to discussing those two issues. It's more personal to the man. giving a direct reflection of his character, without masking or covering up his truths. Today's episode, titled When Nobody's Looking, asks a serious question to our men: Who Are You, and what is your manhood like; Without Praise, Gratitude/Appreciation, or Spotlight? Without those things, is your morals and integrity the same? If not, how does it differ? We go into a very forbidden territory in a man's esteem to find out what makes him who he is. The guest on this episode, Jae of the Just Say Words Podcast, gave us a glimpse of what his manhood is currently. He gives a very interesting spin on the conversation BJ had prepared for him. But overall, you begin to see how two men deal with image, whether that be good or bad. Also, how do we apply integral behaviors to our flawed characteristics and character disapprovals of others. Between the two perspectives, you are gifted such a great and transparent conversation between two men. Both who tries to effect change through growth, education, and constructive life lesson application. We are not vowing to be perfect. But we are trying to become the best self we can possibly be. And we openly have this conversation in front of you. Join us along in this journey to positive manhood mental health. Listen to When Nobody's Looking and tell us what you think....

Welcome to the first part of what we will call The Ability Series. This is a project BJ decided to create to have some very hard discussions with men...in terms of account ability (the first ability we are touching). Here is where we have conversations with men about things we weren't fortunate enough to have as young boys...to correct the boyish behaviors some of us men are still displaying. But it's no judgement...simply because we all have it honestly. Today's conversation is titled One Or The Other. This is a discussing of discernment and critical thinking. We as men need to know how to adjust to the changes that effect our lives and decisions. And in order to do that, we need need to emphasize to one another the importance of family, partnership, and values. Today's guest is Shon Hyneman, a friend and brother who discusses these things regularly. He is an advocate of relationship redemption and development. Shon knows a thing or two about having to start over with residual responsibility to the previous spouse. How he conducted himself is prime example of how he manages a successful marriage, for a second time. We break down a few variables...such as picking your family over your hustle. Deciding when to become a family man along with being the family provider. How to integrate yourself back into a home you spend a lot of time away from, dealing with man issues BY YOURSELF. There is so much we have to unlearn about being society's version of a man. Our partner's and children need us. And based on Shon's experiences, he gives very important tips on how to include your family in your responsibilities...because in the end, which would you rather have: Money or A Family??? It comes a time where a man has to make a choice. Listen to Part 1 of The Ability Series...brought to you by Change The Subject!!!

Episode 40 is called Are & Be. Differentiating the differences between where you are from where you aspire to be. In most cases, we think the words are parallel to one another. but if you really dig deep enough, you will find that there is a chance that you get these two confused. Which in turn derails your progress in concerns to commitment and relationship. BJ and today's guest, Queen Poiison, discuss the differences and misconceptions of a person using where they are, as an excuse to why they aren't where they would like to be...which at times, have nothing to do with your progression. IT"S JUST AN EXCUSE. We also discuss how where you are in life will inspire false realities that you turn into standards and requirements of a partner. Not owning that thus far, you have been maneuvering with no compass or sense of direction. but will indict someone to have leadership skills. Is that your standard?...or your weakness? How do you tell the difference. As you can see...this is very analytical conversation. But it's also very necessary to have. We have to break barriers in our understanding and communication with one another. So this is the way in which decided to start this process. Talk this thing out. Listen to this episode and tell us what you think. What have your own personal Are & Be sounded like for the year 2020? What will it sound like next year?

Thank you guys and girls for tuning in to the latest episode of Change The Subject. Today we have a bonus episode for you to get into. And such a great conversation this is. Today we are discussing crushes at our adult ages. Titled 'I Ain't Had A Crush In Years", we talk about the differences in how men and women behave NOW when they discover they have interest in someone. There isn't a long lasting interest in the opposite sex nowadays. And as we progress in life, and other areas...we begin to realize that love is slowly passing us by. What has changed about interest and attraction so much, that men and women become disposable so quickly? Today we discuss this... This episode is featuring Kira from MomsAndMartinis Podcast. She is a returning guest that really is heating things up in the podcast world. She has a extremely transparent and entertaining platform that BJ enjoys. She is currently looking for love in this process of self discovery as well. How does she navigate throughout the process that she coins "Operation Stepdad" to find a true and compatible love interest? And is having a crush of any kind likely to anyone who has had traumatic and very realistic experiences that have knocked you off cloud 9? Kira discussed what's it like as a woman in her prime looking for a boo in these city streets. In this conversation, we discuss the maturity of what a crush once was...and how it was known as the very first boundary some of us had with the opposite sex. We also discuss why we don't respond the same to crushes as adults in this day and age. There are so many changes men and women are facing today that were influenced by our childhood. We discuss the way boys and girls interpret their experiences with crushes. which makes our behaviors as adults seem a bit dysfunctional. This is a great conversation that I'm sure you will enjoy. Tune in to this episode and tell us what you think!!!

It's been a minute...I KNOW. Apologies for my absence. But I'm back with a treat for your ears. BJ has been holding on to this episode for a month now. A great conversation was had on a getaway to SEVERN, MD for a recharge. Only a small few were in attendance. And two of which had a conversation with me over dinner that spawned an idea. And if you know BJ, he always has equipment on hand. So he decided to discuss an adage that we vow before God unnecessarily, with the idea that it truly benefits your relationship. When in fact, it may actually hinder it. Yes...we discuss For Better or For Worse. With two amazing people who have seen both of those things with each other. And have stood the test of time facing both advantage and adversity...WITHOUT EVEN MENTIONING THAT IN THEIR VOWS. Today we return with the dynamic duo known as RBC (Respect Boundaries Communication)...known individually as Stefanie The Life Architect and Denny Blanco. We shared a great conversation with each about acceptance and allowances in relationships. So many thoughts were shared. One in particular was how For Better or For Worse is detrimental to anyone who may feel, at any time, that another person's better or worse may not be sufficient enough for their fulfillment. In this case...do you settle just because you committed to that vow? There is a chance that without fully understanding the responsibility of the words, you may have signed up for the demise of your relationship health. To us, For Better or Worse is very critical to say to anyone who isn't committed to the betterment of self and spouse. If things get worse, then we as adults deal with those consequences. But in a spiritual realm, this has evolved our matrimony into settling, bondage, abuse, and a loss of love for your relationship. We decided to talk from the title of For Better No Worse. This simply means that with Respect, Boundaries, and Communication in your relationship...you are prepared for the worse that can happen. And it won't break or bind you to an emotionally challenged clause in your relationship contract. We talk about how women desire marriage, when you haven't seen or supported him at his worse. Why do you feel he should marry you, when he hasn't experienced anything in terms of support in his worse case scenarios? As well as how women will say "I only do that for my husband" though she has never been married to know if a husband will appreciate it. We talk about women being strict in terms of standards and requirements of men...due to the world's mistreatments of women...especially Black Women. Is a high standard of man fair, if you are responsible for loving him in much lesser conditions (based on your vows before God)? This is a great conversation with great minds who have a great idea of marriage. Don't say shit you don't mean. Even in marriage. Because if worse comes to worse, better may just be the exit. You never know.

Today is a very special episode of Change The Subject. We use one of BJ's personal favorite personalities as the catalyst for a protection conversation about women. Hype Williamz is the guest today on Change The Subject. She is often misunderstood for aggressive, assertive, and "over the top"...and even mean if you don't understand how to deal with a woman who is fearless of truth or consequence. But if you knew what she been through, your opinion would most definitely shift. As well as help you understand women like her. Tough Cookie, which is my perspective of her (and today's topic title) deals with the women that we tend to overlook as men. the woman who is naturally tough skinned. The woman who protects everybody, including herself...BY HERSELF. We assume a lot of women's strength, and take for granted that there is still a need there for you to fulfill...even though she appears to be handling things very well. We talked about how she grew up in the Bronx, and how the church steered her in the direction of the streets. Because yes...the church fails to protect our women as well. From there, we adapt to how she developed into the woman she is today. Her everyday existence is a learning lesson. Something as simple as taking the train will teach you life lessons. All of which she discussed here. She tackles the disconnection with men, in terms of strong alpha women. Why it seems that strong women make men feel emasculated or inferior. We talk about how she parents, submit, and dominate in all the spaces of her life. She explains the struggle of knowing when to take off her superhero cape and just be...because being Hype is hard. Lastly, she tells me the unapologetic truth about how we can make women's lives easier, without feeling intimidated or unsure of yourself. You can learn something here. We can learn to love our strong women a lot better. Tune In an tell me what you think.

Episode 37 is a very dope conversation, brought to you by BJ and Change The Subject. We are discussing how we as men sweep women off of their feet in year 2020. Titled, The Broom, BJ and today's special guest discuss the importance of trying, in terms of women, to emphasizes our queens worth and importance as men. As well as the genuine concern we have to our reputation of giving our best to them, without expectations of reward. Today's guest is a long time coming, but we finally got him here. Jayomega, 1/3 of The Officially Street Podcast, completes the cypher of guest spots on Change The Subject. His co-Host, Syer and Cherry Poppins, have each made appearances on the show. But today we have The Washed Ambassador here to talk about the importance of the effort he puts into his marriage. We discuss very important topics from three specific angles.... . •Kicking Her Feet Up - The way you relax and relieve her from the pressures of the relationship and her own individual responsibilities. •Keeping Her Feet Done - Maintenance and Upkeep of her feet •Not Giving Her The Run Around- This should be self explanatory!!!. This conversation is packed with useful information that all men and women can use to their own relationship benefit. Jay is young, but shared some true OG married wisdom that can work for the young and old lovers in the world. It is important for us as men to do some detailed sweeping away of inconsistent intentions and gestures. We need to practice how to use our brooms affectively to keep our ladies happy. Press play on The Broom and see what two men discussed that can really help relationships return to a level that love has been missing for some time now.

Teach Me How To Love You Better is back with Lesson 14. BJ is excited to present this really good conversation about protecting your hearts and bodies simultaneously. Today's lesson is called Using Proper Protection. This is a discussion that talks about the responsibilities we neglect when dealing with our adult urges and sexual needs while being single. Sometimes we experience needs before we find the person we would need to fulfill them. We also encourage our irresponsibility by proclaiming to be adults...as if we are capable to control the feelings and heartbreaks that come from other adults. This lesson was given to us by Coko, known as NeoSoulCoko of The NeoSoulCoko podcast. She gave us her personal experiences with dating and intimacy with several men. She kept it real. She told us how it benefits and hinders her. There are pieces of each that defined her actions NOW that she is ready to actually be committed to one person. Is it possible that because you don't have positive protection practices to use that a lot of us have lost our faith in love? This conversation really dug into that. We talked about how open we are with our friend with benefits. How we place restrictions on that friend, to save something for a relationship. And in doing so, it robs you of the fulfillment you are trying to get to by going around the relationship. We also discuss how much respect are you allowed to show someone you are just sleeping with. There is so much discussed in this lesson for men and women to get into. Press play and let me know what you think.