One of the things we do in difficult relationship is use all or nothing thinking. This means when we see someone do things that are bad, we see the person as bad. When we see the person do things that are good, we see the person as good. This confuses us when we think that we have it figured out. It is better to think a different way.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/qsFiIYjDLHk

Don and Alexandra (Alex) Flecky were married in 1980 and quickly discovered that baggage from their families of origin showed up in their relationship. They, like many other couples, found that their love for each other was hijacked by their reactionary interpretation of each other's communication.  Their personal experience figuring out how to change their own communication patterns, along with their professional experience working with couples, led Don and Alex to co-author CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship. In this podcast, they explain why and how their workshop is different than other programs.  They currently head the Relationship Research Foundation, Inc., a nonprofit organization that applies proven relationship-strengthening techniques and develops innovative resources to help today’s couples improve their marriages. Previously, the Fleckys served as Shepherds of Marriage Ministries at their home church, Fullerton Free Church (California). Don is licensed as a pastor in the Evangelical Free Church of America and does pastoral counseling. Alex has B.A. and M.A. degrees in Communication Studies, with a focus on Argument and Persuasion, and has taught communication courses at California State University, Fullerton. For over 35 years, they have taught and coached thousands of couples on six continents. They regularly speak at conferences, churches, ministerial groups, marriage retreats, and community events. They are sought out by various churches and non-profit organizations to teach couples classes, train class leaders, develop cutting-edge methods to help couples, and launch specialized couples programs. The Fleckys love using stories from their own marital struggles to give hope to couples. They have three adult children, one granddaughter, and a Sheepadoodle.  They enjoy jet skiing, traveling, and getting a rush out of helping couples. Resources:CoupleTalk: Coupletalk.comRelationship Research Foundation, Inc.: USrelationships.orgThe Third Option: thethirdoptionoc.com     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/kLjZJaof2aY

Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships? The majority of Christians and pastors would answer, "Absolutely." It is taught in sermons and Sunday School and is the message of songs sung over many years. It almost seems heretical to ask it.  Yet, it matters because misunderstandings about this issue can cause confusion and pain in people's lives, especially when they are searching for answers. Christian relationship advice often fails to apply the Bible in practical ways that help, especially when it is rigid.  Watch this video to find the answer to the question, "Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships."   #bible #christianrelationshipadvice #scripturaltruth  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/C69zmOY66pk

What is the difference between a boundary and a wall? Watch this video to think about the differences and when you might want to consider one vs the other.     Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/J1B_7sEMADA

Emotional intelligence includes understanding that emotions can be primary or secondary. Recognizing this will help you to be less emotionally reactive in your relationships. Many in dysfunctional, toxic relationships struggle with identifying what causes their emotional reactivity, especially when past triggers contribute and intensify the responses.  The more you understand about your emotions, the easier it will be to make sense of them. It is crucial that you can trace the links between other people's actions and your emotions.  This includes identifying why you are upset and what feelings come first and second. This will also increase your awareness of what is going on in the other person's feelings and reactions. Watch this video to increase your emotional intelligence.    #emotionalintelligence #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #emotionalreactivity Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Z2NJCg3otYc

Rachel shares the crazy cycle of hope and despair she experienced in her painful seventeen-year marriage to a narcissistic, abusive husband. With raw emotions and heartfelt concern for other women and men in abusive relationships, she explains why it took her this long to do what finally convinced him to change.  While there is no guarantee that your spouse can and will change, there is hope if you do this one thing in a way you have yet to. And if that doesn't produce change, you will have discovered something valuable that you need to know once and for all.    Resources: "CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship" offers a set of powerful communication tools which teach you healthy ways to communicate as a couple about any topic – no matter how sensitive – and help you to improve your everyday communication. CoupleTalk combines insightful video-based instruction, interactive in-class exercises, and a workbook filled with practical advice and helps. It can be used by a couple alone at home, in a small group at home or church, or in a large group of couples as a weekend retreat or couples conference. Many counselors and pastors also use CoupleTalk as an “at home” supplement to their work with couples. https://coupletalk.com/ Hosting Your Own Class: CoupleTalk Hosts are regular couples and individuals who agree to host the video series at their church or community center, or even in their home. No special training is needed to host the video series, and CoupleTalk offers a variety of helpful supports. https://coupletalk.com/   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6VEs7Ht_lHo

What can you do when your family won't talk about what needs to be talked about? Dysfunctional families don't want to address issues. Here are your options.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/F2Vrq3JWMyg

There are four types of controllers who attempt to control you. You need to know who they are and what they do so you can refuse to allow their controlling to work. Watch this video to see what they are.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/mM9bpzSDF54

Do you find yourself stuck in a rut, unable to move forward after a difficult life change or loss? It could be retirement, death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of a relationship, a family split, an unexpected life turn or even an empty nest.  It takes time to navigates a grief journey, seasons of life changes, and loss, but sometimes it takes longer to adjust than you want. If this describes you or someone you know, you would benefit from these practical steps to get you out of a rut to help you with getting over it.  Watch this video to find out what those practical steps are.    #christianrelationshipadvice #seasonsoflife #gettingoverit #loss  #griefjourney   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/53MySmdrdPY

Christians believe that God wants them to put their spouses first before their children. This is especially true when women believe that they need to submit to their husbands. Watch this video to find out when the children need to put first.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationshipYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dfubuhOI2GI