With a heavy heart and in honour of our good friend Mr. Dr. Greg Bole we present a very special episode: “The End.” The process and smells of dying, semelparity, animal grief, famous last words, weird wills, and Greg’s final plans and wishes. Update: On Sunday, August 22, 2021 at 3:36 PM, Mr. Dr. Greg Bole passed in the loving arms of his wife at St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver, BC, Canada. We miss our dear friend. Charity O’ The Week: BC Cancer Foundation, in honour of Greg Bole Links: Nerdin’ About Live Caustic Soda Discord Server Viral Transmissions Toren’s Guide to Everything

Almost six years to the day of our first ever podcast, Mike, Toren, Joe and Kevin are bringing their journey through the absolute worst the world of science, history, and pop culture has to offer to an end. Veteran Guestpert Dr. Rob joins us for the first two hours of our massive farewell episode. We cover almost every followup we’ve got left, including Olfactory Reference Syndrome, necrotic cervix, decomposing corpse poo, toxic trucker pee, auto urine therapy, urine-repellent paint, helminthic therapy, synthetic marijuana, coffin-birth, outrageous anti-abortion laws, vagina potato, poop transplant, ancient viking shit, a creepy face transplant, compulsive-bad-joke-telling (more than our usual), a lethal silicone penis injection, self-amputation, elevator abandonment, an “autism cure” that rates on the Evilometer, the worst auto-racing disaster in history, a whale meat experience, ape answers, mite shit, a failed test of faith, a lethal posthumous snake-bite, crocodile guards, sword booby-traps, a bloody pillow fight, the 1904 Olympic Marathon, bouncy house dangers, a fire-boozenadeo, terrible gamer-parents, The Granny Ripper, and the very last Lesser of Two Evils! Music “Toot Toot Tootsie (Goo’ Bye)” by Al Jolson “When You Go” by Jonathan Coulton “The Caustic Soda Show” by Toren Atkinson and Rowan Lipkovitz (of The Creaking Planks) Charity O’ The Week: Rain City Badger Thanks Researchers/editors Cory, Dave E, Jonathan Snow, Kelly N, Mele, Raymond, Sheri, Teagan and Todd Dr Rob Dr Jenna Firefighter Allan Newell Mr Dr Greg Bole Gavin Pitts Steven Schwartz Yvonne Morrin Lisa Gemino Chris Pramas Chris Stewart from Kerberos Productions Fraser Cain from Astronomycast Nurse Katie Jordan Pratt, Warren Banks, Chris Woods from Horsetrack Hooligans Our amazing listeners, the Soda Jerks. Images Videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd6qDBUP72g http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-7q3IeTawE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEk85gKJN6k http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKTNMbEoOKE

The caustic look at elephants continues with elephant attacks, beehive fences, Jumbo, Topsy’s execution, plus news and pop culture! Music: “Tiny Paper Elephant” by The Doubleclicks Links World Wildlife Federation of Justice Images Videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoKi4coyFw0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSLVgrNJ-HU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKng-2JaqJU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4xX5vuxOaY

Yvonne Morrin joins Kevin, Toren, and Joe to talk elephants, starting with a mammoth pop-quiz and a ton of caustic elephacts: musth, the Phajaan ritual, and elephant artificial insemination. Part 1 of 2. Music: “Grown Man Cry (Piano Demo)” by Amanda Palmer Links: Elephant Artificial Insemination Video Elephant Charities: The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly Images Videos http://youtu.be/LYhT6FHEpwY?t=18 http://youtu.be/IvhJsd2qfuw?t=139 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXcRw6Piaj8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcvGGe-zpIA http://youtu.be/9xK1jfiuj_w?t=97

Caustic Hosts Joe, Toren, and Kevin get thirsty discussing the causes and effects of droughts including tumblefirenados, the Syrian Civil War, Indian and Chinese famines, the California Water Wars, Lake Karachay, a super-dry extremophile, the horrors experienced in Virginia’s Jamestown Colony, “shade ball” debunking, plus pop culture! Music: “Quantum of Solace” by Miracles of Modern Science Links Earth – a visualization of global weather conditions Syria’s Climate Conflict LA Aqueduct Dynamiting Vogue: Where Chinatown Began California Drought Before/After Drought Reveals Mexican Church Jamestown Mayor Letter Images Videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcUnE0tHcaI

Carnivorous plants, strangling kelp, giant hogweed, gympie-gympie, falling saguaros, manchineel trees, coconuts, and more! Music: “Like A Monkey Likes Coconuts” by Hoosier Hot Shots (1939) Images  

Kevin, Joe, and Toren conclude Caligula’s history, an exploration of explanations for his behavior, plus pop culture! Music: “The Killing Type” by Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra Links Multiple versions of Caligula Images Videos http://vimeo.com/53296145

Kevin, Toren, and Joe discuss Evil Dude in History Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, aka “Caligula”. Part 1 of 2 — the early years and rise to power. Music: “Ego” by Colour Machine – Available on iTunes and Google Play Music Images  

Allan Newell rejoins the hosts with his firefighter helmet on to discuss the seven motives of arsonists, Herostratus, the Happy Land Fire, the Clarence Roberts mystery, the Sydney Ghost Train Fire, the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God, Operation Backfire, the Pillow Pyro, the Mary Pang Warehouse Fire, and more! Music: “I’m Playing with Fire” by Jack Jackson Charity O’ The Week: BurnFund.org Images

Joe, Toren, and Kevin “check out” the caustic side of libraries, including both Melvil Dewey’s classification system and the man himself, the librarian who took over China, librarian sex habits, “for sex see librarian”, the Brave Sage of Timbuktu, plus news and pop culture. Recorded at the Vancouver Public Library’s Inspiration Lab! Music: “Nyarlathotep” by The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets Links The Brave Sage of Timbuktu: Abdel Kader Haidara Images   Will Manley’s Librarian Sex Survey Results Question 1 – Playboy, Playgirl, Playguy 40% of the respondents felt that Playboy should be included in libraries, 23% felt that Playgirl should be included, and 6% felt that Playguy should be included. Question 2 Video Ratings 61 % felt that libraries should label their videotapes with G, PG, Pg-13, R, NC-17, and X ratings.  39% felt that they should not give labels. Question 3 – R Rated Videos and Minors 22% of the respondents felt that libraries should check out R rated videos to minors not accompanied by adults. Question  4 – X Rated Videos 17% of the respondents felt that libraries should carry X rated videos. Question 5 – Condom Dispensers 22% of the respondents felt that libraries should have condom dispensers in their bathrooms. Question 6 – Sexual Harassment by a Supervisor 14% of the respondents indicated they had been sexually harassed by a library supervisor. Question 7 – Sexual Harassment by a Patron 78% of the female respondents and 7 percent of the male respondents  indicated that they had been sexually harassed by a library patron. Question 8 – Sex Without Love 20% of the respondents felt that sex without love is by definition bad sex. Question 9 – Nuclear War and Roseanne Barr Arnold 30% of the male respondents indicated that if there were a nuclear war and Roseanne Barr Arnold was the only woman on earth to survive, they would have sex with her in order to propagate the species. Question 10 – Nuclear War and PeeWee Herman 38% of the female respondents indicated that if there were a nuclear war and PeeWee Herman was the only man on earth to survive, they would have sex with him in order to propagate the species. Question 11 – AIDS and God 6% of the respondents felt that AIDS is a punishment from God. Question 12 – Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas vs. Anita Hill 82% of the respondents felt that Anita Hill told the truth in the Senate Judiciary Hearings.  {Historical Note for Net Genners:  Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment } Question 13 – Shakespeare and “the 1st Time” When asked to pick the Shakespearean title that best described their first sexual encounter, 28% chose Comedy of Errors;  23% chose Midsummer’s Night Dream; 22% chose Much Ado About Nothing;  21% chose All’s Well That Ends Well; and 6% chose Rape of Lucrece. Question 14 – Genre Fiction and Sex Lives 38% of the respondents classified their sex life as a “romance”; 31% as a fantasy; 22% as a comedy, and 9% as a tragedy. Question 15 – $$$’s for Posing Nude 51 % of the respondents would pose nude in Playboy, Playgirl, or Playguy for all the money in Fort Knox; 24% said they would do it for $1 million. Question 16 – Age and Virginity Loss 12% lost their virginity from 12 to 15; 22% between 16 and 18; 37% between 19 and 21; 17% between 22 and 25;  5% between 26 and 30; 2% between 31 and 35; 1% between 36 and 100; 4% are virgins. Question 17 – Marriage and Celebrities – Men Given a list of 12 celebrities, 27 % of the males preferred to marry Kathleen Turner; 25% Jane Fonda; 14% Dolly Parton; 13% Diane Keaton, 8% Diane Sawyer; 6% Madonna; 4% Prince; 2% Elton John; and 1% split between Marla Maples,  Yoko Ono; Dianna Ross, and Tina Turner. Question 18 – Marriage and Celebrities – Women Given a list of 12 celebrities, 60% of the females chose Robert Redford; 18% Patrick Swayze; 7% Woody Allen; 5% Michael Jordan, 4% Martina Navratilova, 3% Cher, 2% Eddie Van Halen, and 1% was split between Prince, Dan Quayle, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Geraldo Rivera, and Michael Jackson. Question 19 – Frequency of Sex 50% of the respondents reported having sex 1 – 2 times per week; 22% 3 – 4 times per week;  21% – 0 times a week; 6% 5 -7 times per week; and 1% have it more than 7 times per week. Question 20 – Public Places where librarians have had sex at least once 63% in a car; 57% in a sleazy motel room; 52% sleeping bag; 43% kitchen floor; 32% hot tub; 20% library; 7% airplane; 8% elevator. Question 21 – Number of Sexual Partners in their lifetime 30% – 2 to five partners; 22% – 1 partner; 17% – 6 to 10; 16% –  11 to 20; 7% 21 to 50; 4% more than 50; 4% – none. Question 22 – Sex and Presidential Elections 72% of the respondents said they would not let a candidate’s sex life influence their vote in an election for President. Question 23 – X Rated Movies 61% of the respondents had rented an x rated movie. Question 24 – Librarians and Sex Books 91% had read The Joy of Sex; 29% had read How to Make Love to a Man; 14% had read Human Sexual Inadequacy; and 3% had read Macho Sluts. Nyarlathotep Lyrics Sebehy er rut ta desheret Iw iyin s n kekw Em seshet’w djuu senefu Rekh-en-ef pa nisut kem B’k n netjeri shesepu nen horef Redi-en-ef medjat en mut Nyarlathotep Sefetju tehemy buyetyen Nyarlathotep Heruyu her nu ‘reku I’tyu her muetem kh’sut nebut Neb senedju h.enemnemy er kheru Wepwety en buyetyen Seb waten shut her niku Neru m per khenety n idenu (Lyrics Translation) Crying out from the Red Land Came a man of darkness With evil bloody secrets He knew the Black Pharaoh Servant to the Faceless Sphinx God He gave me the book of the dead Nyarlathotep Slaughterer bringing nigh those who are detested Nyarlathotep Tumult and time bent Mutilation and death in every land Unleashing fear, creeping downward Messenger to those who are detested Prepare a way for the Void and the Evil Ones Terror in the harem of pestilences