Hide your children. Flush your pets. Lock away old people. The Pie Man has come to town. And he won’t be leaving until he knows everyone’s favourite recipe.  Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast  Geoff the Baker is co-incidentally out of town. www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.ukhttps://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whilst running a session, a therapist is surprised to discover he is actually the patient. However things take a really strange turn when another therapist arrives.  Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk  #britishcomedy #comedyseries #ukcomedy #storytelling #comedyvideo #funny #catnoir #scary #silly #surreal Buy the Creeping Jazz novel here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ  Geoff the Baker is trapped inside a bag, inside a box, inside a bag, inside a box, that's inside a bag, that's inside a box, wrapped in a bag, that might be in a box, in a bag, in a box, in a boxed bag of boxes, hidden in a box of bags, bagged up in a box… look, let's just cut to the chase here. Geoff needs help, send it now! Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season Nine Coming Soon  Season 9 will be released around August 2026 and will including the following 12 episodes: Everyone needs therapy The Pie Man Saga Part 1 The Pie Man Saga Part 2 The Pie Man Saga Part 3 Last chance to die Dual A tale of two idiots Not a Clip show Death Match 3000 And three other mystery stories #mystery Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast  Geoff the Baker always plays the good cop. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Patrick MacNee presents the first episode of his new podcast, showcasing recent finds of missing TV.Expect duelling children's presenters, chickens and chaffinches, excellent theme tunes and a line from the biggest movie of all time, ever.You will be so pleased that you can only imagine the visuals. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Colour of a lizard theme written by Sid Ward and Kevin Chilvers. This episode is dedicated in memory of Sid Ward. Geoff the Baker once appeared as a background artist on a much loved TV show, moving his wheelie bin from his front garden to the place it gets picked up by the dustmen. He ruined the take. The TV show was then axed and the episode never shown. Many years later a copy was found by a missing episode hunter and burnt in a back garden incinerator.Those ashes were then given to the English Cricket Team as a consolation prize in 2014. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Matt has travelled back in time to save the podcast and possibly the world.(Although we might be exaggerating that bit.)All he needs to do is steal a piece of paper from his comedy partner and ensure it is burnt.Now that sounds easy, but this is Matt we are talking about, and the decisions he makes in the past are surely going to affect the future. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast  Geoff the Baker makes dough to create his bread, but yet he is still poor. Hmm… suspicious.  Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's episode 100 but due to an error on the production paperwork, Kev has accidentally listed the Podcastas starting 100 years earlier than it did, pushing the show out of copywrite.Finding that someone is taking advantage of the situation and releasing their own stories using Cat Noir characters,all Matt and Kev need to do now is to travel back in time to sort this mess out.Luckily for them, they know a time traveller. Just not a very good one. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast  Geoff the Baker has made a pie. It's 3.14cm wide. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you hungry for more whelk-based action? Then join us for a nature-runs-amok story that critics are already calling: “the third whelk-based tale in a whelk-based trilogy”. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . Geoff the Baker is no longer baking cakes for fish. It was a stupid idea that resulted in some very messy fish tanks. Do NOT feed cake to fish.Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The whelk selling industry might be booming, but can a single humble whelk seller maintain monopoly against a rising sea of competitive business? Join us back on the promenade to find out.  Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker wishes to clarify that although he does not do fishcakes, he will bake cakes for fish if required. Sorry for any confusion.Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How much do you really know about the high-pressure business of whelk selling on a seaside promenade? Whatever your answer might be, things are all about to change… Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker does not do seafood. Not even fishcakes.Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mr Godwin is looking for love. Unfortunately he is looking for it on an app provided by his new next door neighbourwho has built a casino in his loft. Can Mr Godwin beats the odds to find love before the council offices open onWednesday or has he had his chips? Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . Geoff the Baker spins right round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round, round, round.But he hasn't thought this though, and is now dizzy.______SPIV: Previously on Cat Noir… Short summary of the last episode over the end version of the CAT NOIR THEME SPIV: Cat Noir presents… Dates are not the only fruit. Written and performed by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. SCENE ONE: RestaurantMr Godwin is in a restaurant with a variety of females. The scene plays as a montage with Mr Godwin doing a voiceover with no background sounds on those lines. MR GODWIN: (Voiceover) I started to use the app, just as my neighbour had shown me. After months of not getting any matches, I changed my profile picture to that of Brad Pitt. Again, another useful suggestion from next door. Suddenly I was matching with someone new every day. However, I never realised dating could be so hard… MISS DYSON: …so I said to them, "you'll never take me alive coppers!"MR GODWIN: I don't condone gun violence or disrespecting the law.MISS DYSON: Don't worry I didn't kill anyone that time.MR GODWIN: That time? MAMA: Come to me baby.MR GODWIN: I'm not sure this is appropriate in a public place.MAMA: Sit on my lap and lick my face.MR GODWIN: I think I've left the gas on. I better hurry home.MAMA: Oh dear. Once you turn the gas on, there is no way to stop the pressure in the pipes. If you get my drift.MR GODWIN: I'm not sure I do.MAMA: You can't just turn the gas on and then off straight away. You will need to do some cooking.MR GODWIN: Right. Erm… What… What are we cooking?MAMA: Anything. The gas is on full and I am boiling in the pan.MR GODWIN: I don't understand.MAMA: I'm dripping over the side and streaming up the room.MR GODWIN: I really do need to leave. GORMLESS: I'm a maid in a county house and I'm Gormless.MR GODWIN: You're what?GORMLESS: Gormless. That's my name sir.MR GODWIN: Please don't call me that. Try Philip.GORMLESS: Yes Mr Philip sir.MR GODWIN: I'm sure your profile said your name was Trixie. And it's just Philip. No sir.GORMLESS: I don't use my real name on the app Just Philip, no sir. You can never be too careful. There's a lot of weirdos about.MR GODWIN: Indeed.GORMLESS: I do hope this date is taking place before the Bumpkin Manor episodes, or I'm dead. Now there's a funny thought. Have you ever dated anyone who might be dead? MR GODWIN: (Voiceover) I'd had enough. There is only so much one can take. I headed back home to visit my neighbour. SCENE TWO: The casinoMr Godwin is in Spiv's house. He continues his voiceover, but it is clear he has been relaying this information to Spiv.  MR GODWIN: After that date, we had another a few days later. I thought everything was going well. Then she never replied to any more of my messages.SPIV: Sounds like she's ghosted you.MR GODWIN: My god. I hope she isn't dead.SPIV: Nah. Ghosting. She's not an actual ghost, she just decided not to continue talking to you.MR GODWIN: Well, why didn't she say that?SPIV: Just the way it works governor. You chat, go on a date then never speak again.MR GODWIN: She could have just said she didn't want to chat anymore.SPIV: It's the way dating is in this day and age. Don't worry, there's plenty more fishfingers in the sea.MR GODWIN: I chatted to one lady for a whole week. Every ten minutes, message after message, then when I suggested we meet up, she said we didn't have a connection.Listen in to get more...Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.