Future faking hoovering isn't a change of heart. It's a second round of grooming, aimed at exactly what the first round wanted. In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on what's actually happening when someone shows up with flowers, apologies and a raked pile of leaves after months of silence — and why the answer has almost nothing to do with you. In this episode: • Why not being hoovered is a read on what you had left to give • Hoovering is a role vacancy, not a longi...
Oct 1
21 min
What if naming the disorder never actually got you out? And what if the thing you've been calling proof was really just a way to feel in control? In this episode, Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee take on the debate splitting the recovery world right now — one universal predator type, or many distinct subtypes. You can know exactly what someone is and stay anyway. You can't choose your neighbor, your coworker, or the parent sitting next to you at the PTA meeting. Understanding the diagnosis ...
Sep 28
29 min
Gray divorce isn't a midlife crisis. For a lot of people, it's the end of a con that ran for decades. When researchers ask why people divorce after 50, the top answer from women isn't money or infidelity — it was abuse. In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on why so many people stay in psychologically abusive marriages for 20 or 30 years, and why leaving late isn't a failure of judgment. In this episode: * Why boomers are divorcing at four times the rate of 1...
Sep 24
19 min
Why did you do things you swore you'd never do, just to get their love back? In this episode, Kerry and researcher Dr. Karen Mitchell unpack why affection from a narcissistic or predatory partner can feel like a drug. It's intense and strategic, and then it's suddenly withdrawn. They also explore who predatory people target: honest, kind-hearted people. And why recovery can take years. This was never about you being weak. The pull you felt was engineered, and understanding it is how you...
Sep 21
43 min
Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after? What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics be...
Sep 17
17 min
What if the reason you feel like you're always “nagging” has nothing to do with you being difficult — and everything to do with deliberate provocation? In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy and Lynn Strathdee break down the hidden mechanics behind pathological provocation — why abusers poke, prod, and sabotage your boundaries at bedtime and beyond. How they insist on misunderstanding you, wear you down, and then recast you as the “whining nag” to make themselves the victim. This isn’t about the ...
Sep 14
27 min
Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after? What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics be...
Sep 10
27 min
What if the trait everyone praises you for is the exact one the narcissist is scanning for? That isn’t naivety. That isn’t missing the red flags. Agreeableness — assuming people are honest, wanting harmony, believing no one would be cruel on purpose — is a readable personality profile, and predators read it faster than you can. In this episode, Kerry sits down with therapist and author Chelsey Brooke Cole. Cole married two narcissists — one grandiose, one covert — while practicing as a clin...
Sep 7
32 min
Why does one person in the family end up carrying everything — the blame, the mood, the thing nobody will say out loud? That wasn't a flaw in you. That was a role, and someone cast you in it. Scapegoating is bullying that a family agrees not to stop, and it works because it holds the group together at your expense. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry breaks down why families choose a scapegoat, wh...
Sep 3
17 min
What if it only takes him an hour to know exactly how to control you? That wasn't chemistry. That wasn't "instant connection." A predator ran a background check on your character to know if you had the exact traits he needs to exploit. In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with returning author and expert, Don Hennessy. Hennessy has spent decades working directly with abusive men. He breaks down the calculated, deliberate selection process predators use to identify and groom targets. Podca...
Aug 31
35 min
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