In this episode I get so cross with Emily Post for telling us how to balance the number of forks we own with the number of friends we have, I almost defenestrate the book entirely.

Imagine my surprise when I found out I've been screwing up every introduction I've ever made between two human beings my entire life! Actually... have I ever introduced two people before? Phew! Bullet dodged.

The biggest twist of this book is that it ENDS THIS WEEK. In my quest to be totally ignorant of literature, I retained my integrity in the glory of realizing this dang thing is at an end! Robert Louis Stevenson saved his finest and most reflective prose for this final, action-free chapter. A bold choice.

Have you ever read a book where the climax happens with over a third of the story remaining? *I have*! And now you can too if you listen to this episode! Listen in horror as you find out that someone named their child HASTIE LANYON.

A butler equips an axe! An extremely flusterable lawyer equips a fireplace poker incorrectly! They both go crashing through a door! What do they find? An extra ~long~, exciting, and hysterical 47.5-minute episode of Book Reports! Come read-listen to chapters 7 and 8 with me!

Recursive letters! Slanted sentences! A mysterious new friend that's obsessed with handwriting! How does this all fit in with a breakneck cycle of reclusion and dinner parties? And why is Mr. Utterson in charge of ignoring a murder inquiry?

Something actually happens in Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde this week! And we finally meet some colorful characters. It'd be MURDER if you missed this episode. (That's a hint; someone gets murdered in the story this week.) Join me for a special two-chapter episode of Book Reports!   Follow the show on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/bookreportspod 

Will we ever see the characters from the first chapter again? Were they simply there to set the table for us like the unctuous flatware from Disney's Beauty and the Beast? Will we get an amazing 'Hyde' pun this week? Will another child have their face rearranged? Let's listen together and find out!

We start our first full-length book! Come with me as we decipher Victorian social mores as they relate to kid-stomping!   Copyright Sean Gilbertson

Book Reports will be reading a full-length book starting next episode! Listen to find out which book was chosen! In this episode I read to you Cinderella and Hansel and Gretel, both as written by the Grimm brothers. We'll say farewell to the brothers for now (perhaps to return at another time), but I wanted to do so with a bang! How do Cinderella and Hansel and Gretel compare to the stories we know today? Traumatically, probably! Let's find out together.   Here's where to find the texts I read: Cinderella: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/11027/11027-h/11027-h.htm#cinderella Hansel and Gretel: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/2591/2591-h/2591-h.htm#link2H_4_0020   Copyright Sean Gilbertson