Jose guides Eric on a tour of all the spookiness that the United States has to offer--or at least 1/50th of it. Learn about paranormal blogs run by twelve-year-olds of questionable authenticity, the curse of locker 615, and how everything you need to know about being a doctor comes not from medical school but from out-of-body experiences.

Come take us by the chilly hand and journey to Christopher Pike's SPOOKSVILLE, a land rife with witches, aliens, crocodile=snapping human popsicles, Mayors turned Bums, and a boy wearing an excessive amount of wristwatches.

Jose leads Eric by candlelight into Alvin Schwartz's widdle-kid follow-up to his seminal generational trauma-inducer, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Find out why you should never touch green ribbons, stay away from smiling men, and how to watch out for... A GHOST! (Grabs listener)

Looking at pyramids and feeling thirsty? Eric regales Jose with a summary of the fifth Goosebumps book. Tar pits! Inadequate kidnapping! Product placement! And a little bit of mummy all night long!