Show notes
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Jeremy Lipkowitz about porn addiction (or compulsive/problematic porn use) through a Buddhist-informed lens that frames addiction as using rewarding behaviors to escape or numb unpleasant emotions. Jeremy shares his own history of escalating porn use from childhood into college and describes subtle harms including impacts on intimacy, bedroom functioning, productivity, secrecy and lying, and increasingly unrealistic expectations of partners, alongside neuroplasticity and addiction to novelty. They discuss the Rat Park experiment to emphasize how addiction takes hold more easily in an unfulfilled life, and outline Buddhist concepts such as craving vs. attraction, the “realm of hungry ghosts,” aversion, and equanimity. Jeremy explains toxic shame versus healthy “pro-social” shame (moral shame and moral dread) and highlights recovery pillars: self-awareness, clarifying future direction, training equanimity via meditation, and connection/community with accountability. He mentions his remote men’s group, Unhooked Academy.00:00 Show Intro00:54 Porn Addiction Framing02:18 Jeremy Origin Story03:38 Buddhist View Addiction06:33 When Use Becomes Harm09:57 Rat Park Explained12:14 Age Exposure Matters16:02 Crossing Into Problem19:18 Unrealistic Expectations21:30 Hungry Ghosts Craving24:05 Aversion And Suffering25:06 Toxic Shame Spiral27:08 Healthy Shame Explained29:11 Moral Dread And Compass30:26 Mindfulness For Recovery35:28 Equanimity Not Escaping38:57 Community And Accountability42:58 Unhooked Academy And WrapTake the quizzes at https://www.desirediscreapancy.comBio: Jeremy Lipkowitz is a former Buddhist monk, meditation teacher, and ICF-certified executive coach who helps high-achieving men break free from compulsive behaviors—especially porn addiction—and build lives of integrity, discipline, and deep fulfillment. With over 13 years of meditation experience and hundreds of days spent in silent retreat, Jeremy blends ancient wisdom with cutting-edge science to guide individuals toward emotional resilience and personal freedom.A former genetic researcher who earned Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Genetics & Genomics and pursued a PhD at Duke University, Jeremy left academia after confronting his own struggles with addiction, shame, and self-judgment. A brief period of monastic training in Myanmar deepened his mindfulness practice and marked the start of a lifelong commitment to personal growth and service.As the founder of Unhooked Academy and host of the Unhooked Podcast, Jeremy is a leading voice in destigmatizing porn addiction and educating the public on effective, science-based recovery strategies. His work helps men overcome shame, understand the neuroscience of addiction, and create lasting transformation through mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and habit change.For over a decade, Jeremy has taught at universities, recovery centers, and global companies across the U.S. and Asia. His calm, grounded presence and ability to bridge analytical thinking with inner work make him a sought-after guide for professionals and executives looking to reclaim their lives from digital distractions and self-sabotaging patterns.unhookedacademy.comWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe
