Show notes
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman answers a listener question about what to do when both partners have low desire for sex. She explains that if both people are happy not having sex, there is no problem to solve. If the couple wants sex to be part of their relationship but neither experiences spontaneous desire or initiates, she recommends understanding and working with reactive desire—where interest may arise only after getting started. Zimmerman suggests intentionally creating time for gentle physical connection and finding a slow “on-ramp” that feels good, such as talking, sipping tea, cuddling, caressing, or massage, then seeing where it goes. She emphasizes communicating about what feels good in the moment and allowing that it won’t always lead to arousal or sex, but that even occasional success increases sexual connection.00:00 Show Intro00:46 Today’s Listener Question01:35 No Sex Is Okay02:13 Understanding Reactive Desire03:00 Create Intentional On Ramps03:45 Communicate and Remove Pressure04:13 Key Takeaway and Wrap04:38 Outro and CreditsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe
