Looking up pornography, arranging an affair or hookup; these things cut you off from you. Unwanted sexual behaviors are an escape mechanism and their gift is dissociation. When you don’t know how to deal with the hardships in your life, dissociating through distraction can feel like an easy way out. But the further deep you are in your sexual sin, the farther you are walking away from you. This leaves you operating in this world with mere fragments of you. God made you body, mind, heart and soul. You can start reconnecting the fragments.  This is key in having a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse or future spouse. Learning how and why to face patterns of dissociation is an important first step towards becoming whole. Let’s get started.Highlights:“Dissociation seduces us out of the present moment and into the meaningless world of distraction.” - Jay StringerWe learn to run to sexual activity to dissociate from the difficult things in life.Sex within marriage is meant to be a time of deep, intimacy and connection not a time of dissociation.Homework:Let’s practice being present to the emotions we feel.  Grounding is a way to bridge the gap between brain and body and heart.  Practice Grounding in good feelings and bad feelings. Allow your body to feel the emotions as opposed to shutting them down. Practice belly breathing--place one hand on your stomach, and the other on your chest. Breathe slowly and deeply into your belly, trying to raise your hand like you are filling up a balloon or beach ball with air. Try to keep the hand on your chest still, breathing only into your stomach. Slowly breathe out, feeling the hand on your stomach lower like the balloon or ball is deflating. Notice how your breathing changes with the emotion.5 Senses - What do you see? What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you taste? Slow down and take notice of your senses during a time when you feel panic, fear or sadness.Extras:“Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing” by Jay StringerFor more on this topic, check our latest article Be Curious About What You FeelTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

Parents, we are living in a digitally connected, sexually saturated world. Being a mom or dad in this day and age can feel more like Pioneer Parenting.  We are the first generation to raise kids in a world that is globally connected, 24/7.   And the internet can be tough competition, especially when it comes to talking to our kids about sex. When you’re too tired or too uncomfortable to have “The Talk” with your son or daughter; the internet is always ready and willing to answer any question. No filter. The internet is never going to be stumped by their questions.  In fact, our kids have access to words and ideas we’ve never heard of. So Parenting Pioneers, how do we handle this? As your kids wonder, don’t let them wander. Questions about sex come from natural, normal curiosity. Your kids need you, not a search engine. Listen in for encouragement and look to the Homework section for practical tips to equip you as you navigate the world alongside your child.Highlights:We are the first generation to raise kids in world that is both digitally connected, sexually saturated.We as moms or dads, in this digital age, have to step up or game in regards to parenting kids in this generation.The internet’s never going to say “You’re too young to be asking that question.”Homework:Start having important, age-appropriate conversations with your kids while they’re young.More conversations, more comfort. While it may feel awkward and awful at first, don’t limit you or your child to just one intense conversation. Keep the dialogue open and ongoing. The more conversations you have with your child, the more relaxed you’ll both feel about them.Find adults in your community to help bear your insecurities and burdens, to practice conversations with them.Extras:Check out Josh's new book - Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for ParentsFor more on this topic, check our latest article Why Parents Are Better Than the InternetTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

The power to see and be seen is more than just opening our eyes. We easily diminish that power with our human tendencies towards lust or comparison or judgment. What is it like to see how Jesus sees? In this episode, we’ll examine our human vision versus Jesus’ all-powerful, all-knowing, loving vision. Jesus knows you through and through and loves you. Before hitting play, pray the words of a blind beggar and open your heart to learning how to see and be seen; “Lord I want to see.”Let's become whole together by seeing as He sees.Highlights:When we look at one another we have a tendency to compare each other.When we look at one another we evaluate - we’re either raising someone or lowering someone on some kind of scale.We consume one another with our eyes.Jesus sees it all and yet he doesn’t compare us, doesn’t evaluate us, doesn’t consume us.Homework:The prescription to see like Jesus is to take and eat. In order to become a person who sees like Jesus sees (who doesn’t compare, evaluate or consume others), let’s start by praying like Bartimaeus, “Lord, we want to see. Open our eyes to see.”Extras:Galatians 5:15 “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”For more on this topic, check our latest article Why Being Seen Is Scary Business.Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

Reality check friends, you have an enemy. An Enemy on the Prowl. The message in this episode isn’t meant to scare you. Our purpose is to issue a loud wake-up call for your heart, mind, soul, and body. More often than not, we don’t believe we have to deal with an actual enemy. But he is alive and active, taking shape in issues from our past and battles in our present. There’s only one creature made in the image and likeness of God- that’s you. Satan can’t stand that. He’s been on the prowl since Adam and Eve. Listen in to learn more about the enemy and prepare a battle plan.  Because you, friend, are designed with an authority and an invitation to fight him. Highlights:The enemy’s goal is to isolate us, to split us off from ourselves, from other people, and from God.It is helpful to recognize this is the enemy of my soul trying to steal my joy, my attention, and all the good and perfect gifts from the Father of Lights.If we are trying to grow in whatever area in our life and we are unaware or naively believing that the enemy is primarily going to leave us alone, sometimes we’ll end up vilifying ourselves or another person.  The accuser is lying and telling you that your sexual sin defines you.Homework:Questions to consider: Where in your life do you experience the sense that God is doing something mean to you? Or maybe that He’s holding out on you or not changing you in the way that you want or He’s leaving you alone? Could it be that the enemy is both attacking you in that area and then blaming God for it?BE ON THE ALERT: The devil is on the prowl. TAKE NOTICE: Ask yourself - Is this accusation? Is it temptation? Is it confusion? These can be the enemy trying to work in your life. COME AGAINST HIM. Pray; “In the name of Jesus, I silence this voice. I belong to Jesus. I don’t belong to you. In the name of Jesus, I rebuke you. I silence you in the name of Jesus.”Extras:James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.For more on this topic, check our latest article Can Pain Help You Quit Porn?Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

You’re doing good work to break the patterns. But what happens when your unwanted sexual behavior steps into the room, in the flesh, or comes up on the screen in full color? Alarms go off. Does your alarm scream “Danger” or yell “Go For it!”? Disarm the Alarm.Listen in as Josh explains these alarms; their distinctions, their source, and your response.  Your response to those alarms matters a great deal.  We’ll also explore the concept of walking in the flesh versus walking in the Spirit. When you find yourself falling in temptation and the alarms are sounding; we hope this episode gives you pause to say, “This time lord, I want to walk in Your spirit.”Join us as we Disarm the Alarms.Highlights:The alarm sounds very different but they’re both coming from the same source. And they’re both telling you to respond according to the flesh.“The Holy Spirit has the power to renew and breakthrough generational patterns of unhealthy and destructive behavior.”  - Kelly Minter referencing 2 Corinthians 10:3-5Be vigilant, not hyper-vigilant. Be sober, not scrupulous.Turn the volume down on the fleshly alarms and tune our ears into the calm, still voice of the Father.Homework:When you hear the Alarm:Take deep breathsTreat yourself with kindnessBe honest with the Lord “Lord You know the way I’ve done this before, I don’t want to go that way this time. Would you come?”Seek to open yourself to the power and presence of His spirit.Read John 7:53-8:11 “The Woman Caught in Adultery”Notice: Jesus doesn’t match their urgency. He bends down and writes in the dirt.In the urgency of the flesh, Jesus models the power of pause.The threat is diminished, there’s restoration, there’s dignity.Hear Jesus’ words: “I did not condemn you. Go and sin no more.”For more on this topic, check our latest article What to Do When Lust Sounds the AlarmTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

Light is powerful. It can rise, grow, reflect, change, dim. Light can be intimidating, scary even when we consider it in the same breath of our secrets. Jesus, the light of the world, offers His light to you.  We invite you to listen to this episode to consider Jesus’ light for you in the dark, painful, scary things in your life. We’ll focus on John 3 and 4 comparing Jesus’ meetings with Nicodemus vs the Samaritan woman at the well. Let’s remember the promise when Jesus said He came into the world not to condemn it but to save it. The light Jesus offers is not a spotlight to glaringly expose your shame. We have a good God offering good light meant to heal you and make you whole.Let’s listen in.Highlights:When we have sin in our lives, things that have been done to us by others, or things that we have done, it can be really scary to be in the light with those things.Jesus doesn’t call us into the light because he wants to harm us. He calls us into the light, as painful as it can be to be there because He wants to heal us.Homework:What do you want to bring into the light? What do you have hiding?What if Jesus is inviting you into the light so you can be healed?For more on this topic, check our latest article Why You Are Meant to Brave the Dangerous LightTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

Your body was created by God and it is very good.  If that doesn’t feel true to you, this episode is for you. We’re challenging the lie that says your body is to blame. And that’s harder than it sounds. What would it look like to allow the words in this podcast to make their way from your ears to your brain, to your heart all the way to your fingertips? Be willing to believe your body is not the enemy. This shift in mindset matters so much as you find yourself wrestling with temptation and sin. Your body is an ally, fight for it not against it. Jesus himself saw fit to move into the human body. God is not against your body. He is for it. Are you? Highlights:God is not against our bodies. God is for our bodies. If our bodies are bad then the incarnation of Christ ceases to make sense. Jesus became flesh - fully God and fully human. The incarnation of Jesus is affirmation of the goodness of the body.Homework:Whether you’re wrestling against pornography, food, alcohol - Consider your battle to be not against your body but FOR your body. How does that change your approach? Your choices?Resources:Romans 8 We are waiting the redemption of our bodies.Romans 12:1 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship.1 Corinthians 6 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies.”"That which He has not assumed He has not healed.” Saint Gregory of Nazianzus Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

To “tread” means to walk in a specified way. Tread Boldly.As a parent, especially of teens, you may consider treading carefully as the best way to handle hormones and cold shoulders and uncomfortable conversations. But, as you’ll hear Josh explain; you are called to tread boldly.This is a special episode as our very own Josh Glaser releases his first book today - “Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for Parents.”  Josh and co-author, Daniel Weiss, lay out the groundwork for you to be better equipped in our digitally saturated culture.  Don’t shy away from this one. This is a unique opportunity to hear Josh’s heart and advice before reading the book. What’s one way to tread boldly today? “Focus on what you are FOR, not against.”Listen in.Highlights:Backward Vision: “Don’t have sex until you’re married. Don’t look at pornography.” That’s backward vision. Look forward.Don’t focus on the sin. Focus on the goal.Kids who have had premarital sex need a vision that is more robust than how they did sexually in one given moment or season.Homework:Forming a Family Vision:Mark your Starting Point as right here, right now. Understand it can and will travel with you.Consider falls or setbacks as opportunities to grow NOT failures of the goal.Let the focus be on what you are FOR versus what you are against.Focus on Jesus, not your sin or performance.Resources:Read more about this topic at Self-Giving, Self-Sacrificing Love - Treading Boldlytreadingboldly.com“Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for Parents” by Daniel Weiss & Joshua GlaserTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

We all long to be known, to be seen, and to be loved for who we are. Jesus aches for this very thing, and this is why Jesus Wants to Wash Our Feet.Are you willing to be cleansed by Jesus? For him to stoop down and to wash your dirty feet? For him to come near to the parts of you that perhaps even you don't want to look at yourself? This week Josh humbly speaks about Pride Month, LGBTQ+ loved ones, about pride in general, and about the humility of Jesus. He speaks deeply about the longing that Jesus has to cleanse us all of our dirt, our past, our hurts, our pride. He wants to enter into our pain and sin, and wash us clean.Let us put aside everything that keeps us from allowing Jesus to cleanse us and let us wash the feet of others just as Jesus does. Are you ready to Become more Whole?Highlights:...want to just honor the the reality that every single one of us, every single one of us longs to be known longs to belong, longs to be accepted longs to be affirmed, as the people we are...So my question for you today, and one of the reason I think this comes up in my prayer last week, is one of the reasons that we would say no to Jesus washing us.He actually desires to cleanse us from those things.Resources:Read more about this topic at Jesus Will Wash Your Feet If…Read Josh's new book  Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for ParentsTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole

Discovering your young son or daughter has been exposed to pornography is upsetting.  You can’t make your children un-see what they saw, but you can help turn a bad thing into an opportunity for good conversation and a deeper connection with you around a very important topic.This week Josh jumps into 7 very important things not to do when you as a Parent find out your son or daughter has been looking at porn.Let us equip ourselves and one another as we continue towards “Becoming Whole.”Highlights:So many of us when we find out a son or daughter's been viewing porn, we feel paralyzed, we feel concerned we don't know what to do, we feel inadequate, we don't feel prepared for this. Temptation is a normal human experience for men and women living in a fallen world, including saved men and women, Christian men, and women who have a new identity in Christ....if your son or daughter has been exposed to pornography, they've been exposed to something that has troubled the waters of their soul, that it is disruptive stuff that they've seen.Don't ignore those things in your heart, this is actually an opportunity for you to grow closer to Jesus.7 Things Not to do:Don’t freak outDon’t shame your kidsDon’t do nothingDon’t let your own failures disqualify youDon’t lectureDon’t go it aloneDon’t make your children your godHResources:Read more about this topic at 7 Things Not to Do When Your Child’s Exposed to PornRead Josh's new book  Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for ParentsTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming Whole