Back to Square One
Back to Square One
Derek & Carmen
Welcome to Back to Sq 1 - a podcast hosted by best friends, Derek and Carmen. Join us as we work through life's biggest questions and explore modern topics through our shared lenses of growing up as second-generation Asian Canadians from the suburbs of Toronto. Who do you relate to more? Is it Derek - the entrepreneur, who strives to question the status quo and bachelor searching for the one while being haunted by a dysfunctional childhood? Or is it Carmen - your typical straight A's student who became a dentist, now married but still in search of purpose and happiness?
Hello from Tokyo!
Follow my new adventures at https://www.youtube.com/@imderekhui - I'm excited for you to come along!
Oct 28, 2025
11 min
Lessons Learned - Season 1 Finale
After a 2 week hiatus, Derek and Carmen are back but for this season's finale episode. The best friends wrap up this era by looking back at the growth and emotional breakthroughs achieved in the last 21 episodes. Who were they before Back to Square One and how has the podcast changed them? What have they learn from this season's episodes? Derek and Carmen uses this episode to thank each other, their friends and supporters for embarking on this journey with them and they hope to see you all again in Season Two...to be continued. Some final words... we started this podcast with only an intention to be real with each other and showcase our friendship. Along the way, we've gotten the incredible opportunity to build such a wonderful little community and have had some amazing interactions together. Thank you guys for tuning in and being such great fans and supporters : ) This season was sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co
Jun 1, 2022
55 min
Quick Announcement : )
We'll see you guys soon in a couple weeks! 
May 18, 2022
28 sec
Mamma Mia!
Welcome to Season 2 of Back to Square One! On this episode, Derek and Carmen attempt to feature their mothers as guests on the show. On this Mother's Day Special, Carmen talks about her struggle with body image and mom guilt as she enters the final trimester of pregnancy. Derek and Carmen discuss the underappreciated mother who does it all and the overpraised father who does the bare minimum. Finally, Derek recalls his need to leave home to be away from his unsupporting parents. Are your parents proud of you? What are some of the hardest things you’ve had to deal with in terms of family? This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co
May 11, 2022
1 hr 3 min
We Rolling 20 Deep... Issa MILESTONE!
This week, Derek and Carmen wrap up the first 20 episodes dabbling in the MANY recurring topics in the history of Back to Square One. From Derek's situationships and broken upbringing to Carmen's hopes and dreams for her son as she enters into motherhood. In this episode, Derek contemplates the link between his search for and need to show affection and the absence of such affection in his childhood. Carmen and Derek compare Love Languages. Derek stresses his non-desire to have kids. Carmen and Derek discuss the future of Back to Square One with a special collaboration announcement at the end. This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co
May 4, 2022
1 hr
Expired Relationships, Communication, and Straddling Between Realities
Welcome Back. What do you do when you know a relationship has expired but your heart just won't let go? What happens when you have a tendency to overthink but also have an inability to open up? I'm unhappy and struggling but, who will listen? This week Derek and Carmen dissect their friend's relationship woes. Carmen shares her identity crisis as she transitions into the new world of motherhood. Derek shares his recent hypotheses and therapeutic break-throughs. Am I truly happy and what happens when you get really good at faking it? This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co
Apr 27, 2022
52 min
Looking for Love... Everything. Everywhere.
Welcome back! It's been an eventful week for our Back to Square One hosts. While Carmen was recovering from COVID, Derek was on a mission to find the love of his life with help from the TikTok and Aritzia community. Derek updates us on the interesting events that transpired on his most recent dates. Derek and Carmen dissect Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (SPOILER ALERT!), a film that explores generational trauma and unconditional love while exploring sci-fi multiverses and parallel timelines, all in a comical and heartfelt way. You just gotta watch it to understand. ** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **
Apr 20, 2022
49 min
City Livin' or Suburban Chillin'?
This week on Back to Square One, Derek and Carmen talk about all things Downtown Toronto. Derek shares his recent encounter with some strange characters at a downtown McDonald's. While Derek reveals how moving downtown changed his life and his intentions to remain in the city, Carmen chats about her experience living downtown in her early 20's and why she chose to leave and move to the suburbs. What's the one major move that changed your life trajectory? What's your favourite big city memory? Derek uses this episode as an opportunity to reach out to the love of his life. The episode ends with the two discussing the rare moments that friends cross paths as you get older and the importance of ensuring these memories are not forgotten. ** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **
Apr 13, 2022
52 min
Shootin' The Sh*t
While Eden has been away on a 2 week bachelor and work trip, Carmen shares the fears and insecurities that crept up during her time home alone. Carmen reflects on her childhood and the difficulties her mom must have endured raising them without the help of her dad. Derek and Carmen discuss long-distance relationships and what couples must do to make it work. Derek talks about his fears of having to live with someone after so many years of solitude. The two discuss what happens when you get too comfortable in a relationship? How do you keep the spark alive? Carmen discusses the obstacles that she thinks she and Eden may encounter after becoming parents before sharing tips to male listeners on how to be prepared for future fatherhood. ** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **
Apr 6, 2022
58 min
A Murder in Vancouver... is Love Truly Blind?... and Life Updates
This week on Back to Square One, Carmen talks about her recent trip to Vancouver where her and her friends witnessed a "murder". Derek and Carmen go on to discuss Netflix's popular reality show, Love is Blind. Is love truly blind? How important is emotional connection? Physical connection? The two discuss the importance having good role models of love early in life. Carmen wonders how the absence of her dad affected her perception of love and expectations in relationships. Derek finally updates us on the family dinner he had with his parents and brother after Yolo's death. At the end of this week's episode, Derek reveals his plans to move to California and Carmen contemplates the effect Derek's move will have on their friendship. ** This episode is sponsored by Schedule35 - your best microdosing source in North America. We've been huge advocates of the power of psilocybin and magic mushrooms for self-understanding and self-healing. If you guys are interested, feel free to use code 'BACKTOSQ1' on your checkout for 15% off @ https://www.schedule35.co **
Mar 30, 2022
1 hr 20 min
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