Today on the show I talk about:+How to stop the Chiefs+Fossil fuels (we're using them right now, together! as a team!)+The condition of oceans+Verifying truth claims by evaluating academic journals+Sea animalsWhat we do is we look things up, like a child asking a parent. You can just do that and Google will bring you right there.  Then from there you have to do some work. 

Damn things got good, like they do every year. This is why you watch the playoffs. This is just the first round. Great series everywhere. Ok tonight I really, really lay into Joel Embiid. I really lay into him deeply. I want him to be better. Joel: find your playing weight. Ask Barkley about it. He'll help you. I love basketball. Simmons too I really just get to the point with him. I want these guys to develop. Like let's go. Why are you wasting time staying stagnant? No great player does that. Who is the favorite right now? Jesus, who knows. I accidentally impel you to eat a carnivore diet, and I retract that recommendation. You do you. 

I am spiritually wrecked from these telecasts.Every 8 seconds there is a stoppage in a play to watch an emotionally manipulative commercial or a guy reviewing if there was a foul. It's just brutal. I love basketball and this shit is killing my life. The Raptors went up 3-0 on the Nets. No one is really emerging as the clear title favorite. This is like a new season. Mostly just complaining, someone had to do it. 

Welcome to Day 4 of - yeah, that's right - Yoffs. These yoffs be goin onnnnnn!! I tell you!Three teams scored 111 tonight. What? That's odd. Do you know what Carl Jung said about coincidences that come in 3's rather than just 2's?Tonight's story? "Too early to tell." That's the news! No, I promise, I say things. Comments and what not. Just, listen! Listen to those comments, sheesh. Hoo boy. Mercy!The game 2s are over and the game 3s start tomorrow. 10 hours of hoop, coming at you. Watch out for my Celtics, eye popping emoji eye popping emoji. 

Day 3 of Goin' Yoffs. +++Game 2s happened today. +++You know some guys, they played out there. In the BUBBLE. Because CORONAVIRUS.+++Game 2 is the least meaningful game of a series. +++This lack of home court thing is gonna be real different from what we're used to. +++I invent the Donovan Mitchell Scale. +++More talking about basketball. +++

Breh, I'm back on this Yoffs grind. Grindin up these yoffs, man oh shit! ++++++EHHH I ain't feeling so bureaucratic about these notes so lemme just give you the gist. At this point in the night, I do not feel like a bureau. I acknowledge the usefulness of bureaus, but I ain't about that life atm. ++++++Today showed us in crystal clear contrast that there are two ways to play basketball: the good way, and the bad way. The good way, we will call "basketball," and the bad way we will call one of the following: "math ball", "Hardenitis", "this dumb shit where everyone stands around" etc. We'll all know what you mean. ++++++Damian Lillard plays basketball. The Orlando Magic and Milwaukee Bucks today played math ball, and it was an excruciating watch. The Houston Rockets of course play math ball, and are the excruciatingest. Then Lillard and Lebron stepped on the court and my spirit was restored. They're just such exceptional players of the game. They really know how to work angles and apply pressure and vary their approach and keep guys guessing. Plus the shooting from Lillard. Jesus.++++++Lillard hit one tonight that made me yell "Oh my GOD!" to no one. I am typically silent in a silent room as I watch these. Some of the good ones I catch on the big screen downstairs with my Dad. Multigenerational living is shamed by society yet I spend quality time with my parents every day and I will never regret it. What a world.  ++++++Lebron was just sensational tonight and it wasn't enough. LAL is in real trouble.++++++Tomorrow the Nuggets go, I fucking love that team. WATCH JAMAL MURRAY!!! He isn't quite mature and he really doesn't like looking dumb (they pretty much all have that disease now, these young guards and forwards - fear of looking dumb when trying hard in a big spot - there is "I'm barely even trying" vibe that's caught on big time. Watch Paul George making sure he always looks effortless. You ever see that dude scramble wildly? I worry about that in game 6 and game 7). Watch the Nuggets. Watch the Celtics, Tatum is just ridiculous. He always steps up when there's an injury too and has for years. Him getting clearance as lead dog is a good thing.++++++Okey doke, YOFFS, my friends! Straight ball tonight!! Maybe tomorrow I will bring in some wacky philosophy or somesuch deal, or I will get into detail about halfcourt sets since I'm lamenting the lack of them. To see the difference, watch the Lakers in the halfcourt vs the Rockets in the halfcourt. The communication, the movement, the appearance of a rehearsed plan being in place. It's a different sport. Go Spords! Win the Ball! Do it for the Region, and get the Trophy!++++++Who Will Get The Larry? Right now I like the Nuggets. Well. Really the Clippers. But I picked Denver and I have integrity so let's go Nuggets.+++

First day of the Yoffs, wahoo. I watched three games, the last one with my Dad. I do not believe that Raptors-Nets is real. It's a government conspiracy and that series isn't happening. Embiid is so frustrating. Denver is my West pick.Boston is my East pick. Why doesn't everyone chuck cross-court touchdowns like Jokic? Is it a style thing? Like copyright infringement, but game? Is he really the only one that understands how to do this? I mean I like it. Playoff basketball, now the rules are a little different. Ok. Fair enough. It's much better to watch than regular season. I didn't say this but MPJ is the real deal. Watch out for Jamal Murray too, dude is really one with the ball and fast as fuck. Jameson Cold Brew seems like an awful product to me. Shuffling papers, whatever. Home court advantage isn't part of the playoffs now. Luka is big and strong and has a handle, and off he goes to layup town, and he's got touch so  it goes in, and they're just standing there like idiots saying "we didn't give up the corner three so we're good". Or something. Do you hate sports, and especially football? You are safe from football. You can always say no to football and no one will call you a slur or insinuate that you're a bad person. Sports are half unwatchable due to Math Ball. They are neglecting beauty. It's a sad, frustrating mess, especially for baseball. I still love baseball. Love it. Can't really watch it. Love it. Can watch playoffs though for sure. Yoffs. Yoffs coming AT you this year. Yoffs on yoffs. Then Regular Season Football, then more yoffs. God, yes. 

Hmm, today I just read notecards that I've had sitting on my desk. Notes to myself. I keep a big stack of index cards of things I want to remember. Ideas and what not. Is this work?Oh, today, I had a hum in my signal that I couldn't get rid of. I haven't had that happen in probably ten years so I consider it of significance. Look at me, rationalizing my failure on the fly. To drown it out I played music that I CREATED so if anyone comes to strike me down for copyright problems we can talk about it. I keep hearing that happens, what even is that? Terrifying, is what it is. These tech companies, it's a lot. They are really confident. Things that come up:-Existentialism-Behaviorism-I know, hold on to your seats-NBA 2k is an insidious scam-Are graduate students satisfied with their leadership?-Do universities do enough to disseminate information to the public? Is that their job? Hmm, there's these other guys, the media. -I have some technical glitches, but it's alright-Gate of Ivory, Gate of Horn-I legit forgot the fact that horns are made out of horn-I was trying to think of what Old World people made out of horn, like how ivory is used to make piano keys, and guess what, it turns out they used horn to make horns-Like how you would blow into it to create a noise, like horns-Old school, new school? What's true, what works?-Are "True" and "False" real concepts let's talk about it let's deconstruct it come on please i'm so in need of something to hang my hat on and be known for can we please just question fundamental elements of life that we need to maintain sanity please can we please i'm so in need of validation please ah I have no talent please let me change everything in a memorable way-Ah, I give up some ok lines I've had in life, they're out here now, I just collect lines-I am good at Madden-Nonsense is a bad sign - if you catch yourself speaking nonsense, take a nap. Get some sleep. Eat something. Be careful. Don't be sayin all nothin all the time or else people will not want to deal with you. Not cause you're a dick, but just because it's like, what is, what? Like, nothing works, you know? Make sure you can talk. -Keep your calves and your hamstrings stretched-Integrating global philosophy into psychotherapy - yeah, just do that, that shouldn't take long at all, just like, do it-Flow all day-I mean, ok, duh, but how?-Swords have hilts

Breh, I mean, listen, just some guys chopping it up. What do you want from us?No, seriously, today, AJ and I zip through 18 lifestyle-philosophy type topics, with the assistance of my grandma's egg timer. "3 minutes a topic!" Ha ha, ok Gaynor. Whatever you say.1. Smartphone as landline.-I am pro-this-Imagine a world without other people's opinions-Once, you used to be able to pick up your neighbors' phone calls? What?2. No caffeine.-really-Imagine a world when you fall asleep when you go to sleep3. Seeking atonement for being raised in an androcentric culture.-I yam what I yam, and I am sorry for talking like Popeye4. Vegetarianism vs. masculinity.-Hmm. Do what works best for you, but what if we had all the psychopaths doing the slaughtering? What did you just say? -There be no judgment here, the food blogs are everywhere5. Really basic stoicism.-I have rebranded this segment as "basic bitch stoicism" because don't tell me I have to be exhaustingly sophisticated to have a single good notion 6. Listen to at least one news source from the other side of the political aisle.-[Shia Labeouf noises]7. Read actual books made of paper.-There will be zero notifications there to distract you-You can annotate the book-People will think you're not a complete moron, or they will at least act that way to get you to leave them alone about it8. Full Sleep to enjoy life more-If you believe in climate change, you believe we are not all wired to work 9-5-What about a 2-10? Are many people nodding their heads vigorously?-There is no replacement for Full Sleep and you suffer by ignoring this fact9. What about porn?-[animal sounds]-are you familiar with the economic principle of "opportunity cost"?-you can be more than Glands with an internet connection10. Edamame, the magic bean!-Not related to topic 911. Discovering homeostasis among the chaos.12. Setting goals is easy - following through is difficult but fulfilling.-Hopefully we are not too condescending here, but really. The "slightly harder" path ends up being much easier than the "easier at first and then completely impossible" path13. I don't know if I'll ever get a tattoo.-Is it wise to commit? What about committing to a symbol? Eesh, hmmm. -You're certain that the ink just stays there and doesn't get into your spleen or anything?14. Sleep posture matters - get the right pillow.-One under your head, one between your legs, and one under your hips. AJ taught me this last part, and, one night later, I'm a full convert. Don't have your spine gettin all bendy while you're trying to reset the Mech Suit that is your body.15. Even fake plants make a room feel more alive-You can't kill them, and they're still nice and green16. At what point will the Beatles fall into obscurity?-Should we be sad about the future? Or, just whatever? -No one listens to Gregorian Chant at a party without raising considerable alarm bells17. "BURN DOWN YOUR SOUL"-Anyone ever said this to you?-What a phrase-I feel uncertain now18. Put existentialism in your toolbox.-Nah forget it, we're done, we're done

/// oh boy, it's ok, i got you, we got this/// I mean, where did I get this notion that earthquakes can have multiple epicenters? I really truly thought that immense earthquakes can have 2 or 3 identifiable epicenters./// I searched high and low for evidence of this, and no, it would appear that I just distorted reality in an attempt to make my point./// It happens when you don't quite know what you're talking about, which is something that happens all the time. Hopefully that is the only thing that I mangled today. /// I will not back down from my position that homo sapiens is one thing, and because of that, our problems are everyone's responsibility in whichever way they can contribute. Also because of that, we have an ethical imperative to cooperate and function together. I mean, everyone knows this, but sometimes we blow RIGHT past it and lose the foundation. We all want the same thing: to have a life we can enjoy and to feel safe where we live. When someone does not have that, there is an ethical imperative to help them reach it, and there are endless ways to do that./// Might just be easy for me to say, but I'm going to keep saying it cause I think it's true. Cohesion, harmony, coexistence, cooperation. These are fine goals to keep in mind. /// I especially like the term social harmony, because it already exists to a degree and can be increased. You might notice how many complicated things work well every single day because of social harmony, like driving around with hundreds of other people who you don't know, and (in the past, and in the future) attending an event with thousands of others, and everything works out just fine. /// We are good at being in harmony in many places, so we know it's possible. /// You learn more from friends than enemies, I bet.