Mez was certain how she wanted to parent: co-sleeping, following her baby's lead, the connected motherhood she'd always imagined.

Instead she was awake every 30–45 minutes, in bed by 7pm just to survive, and convinced this was simply what motherhood demanded. The hardest part wasn't the sleep deprivation ... it was the shame of admitting co-sleeping wasn't working for her family anymore.

On the first night of sleep training, Mez sat alone in the garage with the baby monitor, crying harder than her baby was, terrified she was making a mistake.

This episode isn't about telling you to co-sleep or to sleep train. It's about what happens when the internet insists there's only one "right" way to be a good mum — and what it takes to let that guilt go when your baby, your mental health and your family need something different.

We talk about co-sleeping, the decision to start sleep training, mum guilt, perinatal mental health, and letting go of the motherhood you imagined for the one that actually works.

If you've ever laid awake wondering whether you're failing because motherhood doesn't look the way you thought it would, this conversation will stay with you.

To see more of Mez, follow @awakeat3am.podcast and @sophiassleepschool for more sleep tips!