Water cooler chat on weather, oil prices, St. Pattys and March MadnessMain topic is generation numb-don't feel shit, don't give a shitFuck'Em All Fridays is on corporate buzzwords-enough already. Check our our accompanying newsletter at https://aspermylastnewsletter.substack.com

The episode includes these three segments: Slide 1 - Water Cooler Chat with these topics: -F1 is back!-McD's CEO nibble gate-Daylight savings sucks envelope glue-Six years since Covid Slide 2 - The Hump (Main Topic) - Fragile corporate executive egos and how they ruin our lives as casually as they order a half soy half oat milk non-fat latte with splenda. Last Slide - F*ck 'Em All FridaysWe give a resounding rebuke to our least favorite form of language, corporate jargon. Check out our accompanying newsletter on substack with all associated links, and what we've been reading/watching this week at https://aspermylastnewsletter.substack.com/

Check out our new format for the new season. The episode includes these three sections: Slide 1 - Water Cooler Chat with these topics: -U.S. Hockey Winning the Olympics-Mortgage Rates dropping below 6%-A speculative fiction memo dropped the stock market hundreds of points-We bombed iran...Slide 2 - The Hump (Main Topic) - The Office Passion Pit. We discuss how to be divested from the outcomes in jobs where you teach people to be invested in the outcomes. We get into why it pisses us off and what we do about it. Last Slide - F*ck 'Em All FridaysHere we discuss why people that tell you "why don't you just quit" need to walk into traffic. Check out our new newsletter on substack at https://aspermylastnewsletter.substack.com/

As Per My Last Podcast - Season 1 Episode 23 - Real AI for my Sham Friends and Champagne for my Reel Friends In this episode: The rich, the powerful, and criminals aren’t separate groups — they’re just LinkedIn connections away.The world’s greatest art thief got immunity because he stole too much art, proving “too big to jail” is a real career path.Art is basically money laundering with vibes: “Why is this worth $3 million?” “Because I like it.”NFTs were just modern art scams with worse visuals and Jake Paul instead of a monocle-wearing dealer.A mob hitman tried to destroy evidence, lit himself on fire twice, and was foiled by… an electric grill.Corporate America’s favorite power move: letting you leave early like it’s a Christmas miracle you earned.Working in an office before holidays felt like prison, except with Excel instead of yard time.Blackout Wednesday died because alcohol is expensive, Uber is expensive, and staying home with AI is free and validating.AI laughs at all your jokes, which explains why humans are suddenly intolerable.We’ve achieved peak convenience, peak isolation, and somehow more kidney failure — progress!

As Per My Last Podcast Season 1 Episode 22 - Pro Athletes and Con Men - In this episode:Keyboard shortcuts: where grown adults forget how letters work and accidentally print 15 copies of their own incompetence.Screenshots: the corporate version of “I’m not stealing… I’m archiving.”File names: because nothing says “organizational system” like saving a budget meeting screenshot as B1_Final_FINAL_wtf.png.Excel VLOOKUP: the skill you relearn every six months like it’s the plot of Memento.VR safety training: now with 100% more simulated workplace death to really motivate you.Drunk goggles: teaching college kids what it’s like to be drunk if drunk meant blindfolded, dizzy, and legally unfit to pour water into a cup ten feet away.Drunken jam sessions: moments where you’re convinced you’re inventing the next Beatles track… until sober-you hears the recording.Kids and music: where “classic rock” gets reviewed by 10-year-olds as “mid” and every rapper is named “Lil Something.”Kanye samples: that confusing moment when you think the grocery store is playing Kanye, but no — it’s just Al Green being sampled for the 47th time.Musical talent: the Nashville Rule — the person playing to eight people in a bar is still better at music than anyone you know, including you and your entire gene pool.

In this episode: Dresden was bombed to dust, rebuilt, and still looks better than any U.S. city built on purpose.Currywurst: Germany’s version of late-night pizza, but with swords involved.Donair guys slicing meat like samurai chefs—10/10 would let them duel for my sandwich.Germany: Home of sausages, potatoes, and zero water consumption. Hydration is for cowards.Do Germans ever poop? Medical mystery of the century.American trains: show up when they feel like it. Maybe.Florida’s high-speed rail: powered by human sacrifice.Espresso everywhere. Filter coffee is an endangered species.Boeing whistleblowers mysteriously unalived—totally normal, nothing to see here.#aspermylastpodcast #funny #europeantravel

Eric returns from Germany, where the national pastime is staring silently until you emotionally unravel.Sick days: apparently it’s socially acceptable to work yourself into a dirt nap, but God forbid you take a Tuesday off.Doctor’s notes: one coworker forged one to go golfing — HIPAA breach? Maybe. Icon? Absolutely.Unlimited PTO: meaning unlimited guilt, meetings at lunchtime, and pretending your haircut is a corporate emergency.Vacation time: some people “disconnect” by checking email only six hours a day. Eric disconnects by flying to another continent and throwing his phone into the Rhine.Deutsche Bahn: the only train system where step 1 is “guess which of 7,000 Berlins is real” and step 2 is “get screamed at in German.”Germans will watch you walk toward the wrong door in silence — then yell “YOU FOOL!” after you touch it.Small talk in Germany is illegal. Smile at a stranger and they look at you like you’ve confessed to war crimes.Government shutdowns: politicians still get paid, everyone else gets to start hot dog carts. The American dream is alive.“I may or may not have cancer…but I’ll know for sure when my paycheck comes back.” — Anonymous federal worker, probably.

Greg and Eric ricochet the following thoughts: B-actors from anti-harassment training are weird to see in other stuff. AI is not to blame for youth unemployment because Japan and Europe aint having that problem. AI voices for 800 #’s still have heavy Indian accents for some reason…Pumpkin tastes like nothing, like the vegetable itself. Gen X and older drank a domestic beer and that was it…for life. A simpler time. Appropriately for our 21st episode, we talk beer in all it’s wonderful varieties and price points. Turns out Eric and Greg will do pretty much whatever for a free t-shirt.

18th Episode summary00:00 – 01:00 | “We have six subscribers and possibly one fan — me.”Celebrating 20 episodes and redefining success in units of pure delusion.01:00 – 02:00 | The Rowboat of Corporate MiseryCorporate life = one big, leaky boat. Everyone’s on board, and nobody’s steering.02:00 – 05:00 | Review Season: The Annual GaslightingHR emails roll in: “Take this e-learning on how to fill out your own disappointment.”05:00 – 08:00 | “Exceeds Expectations” — The Unicorn RatingTo get a 5% raise, you must donate blood to the CEO’s mother.08:00 – 12:00 | Copy, Paste, Collect Your ‘Meets Expectations’Greg admits he’s been recycling last year’s self-review for three years. Nobody noticed.12:00 – 15:00 | Promotions for People Who ‘Seem Fun’Raise logic: Work hard → ignored. Golf → promoted.15:00 – 20:00 | The Office, The Paper & The Power of Having No OpinionAt work, having opinions is a liability. Best to say: “What do you think?” until retirement.20:00 – 28:00 | Journalism, Yelp, and the Michelin Tire ManJournalists are broke, Yelp is dying, and the world’s most feared food critic is literally a tire.28:00 – 32:00 | How Cable Companies Buried Themselves in WiresTwo tech geniuses wonder why no one thought to use customer data… while not getting paid for their own ideas.32:00 – 33:00 | Collaboration, Think Tanks, and D’s NutsA heartfelt ending about teamwork, innovation, and starting a nut stand. Because capitalism.

Greg and Eric get funky with: Why does everybody say "welcome aboard" when you do intros at a new jobMost jobs are not " living the dream" or "another day in paradise"Greg has a bad healthcare experienceBoth of us have four letter names constantly mispronounced and spelledWe talk Buffalo Bills Hard Knocks and what it'd be like if they did an office versionWe talk executives making big choices with coin flipsWe offer Canadian real estate adviceWe also offer reasons to love your terrible job