Anxiety Addict's Bedtime Stories
Anxiety Addict's Bedtime Stories
Jo Newman & Morgan Walsh
To: The Restless, The Insomniacs, The Stressed-out, The Overworked, The Doom-Scrollers, The Worried and The Bored: THIS IS FOR YOU Good writing is meant to make you think. This is the opposite. Short, funny, (unfortunately true) stories that have mostly to do with Nothing, to help you turn off your brain and turn on your REM. Because you're looking at your phone anyway.
Dog Gone It
When Theoโ€™s first out-of-college job threatens to bore him to the point of insanity, he takes a life-changing walk. And we learn that the best part of being an adult is free will. And, the choice to run screaming from embarrassment.๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Feb 18
21 min
One Wedding And No Funeral
๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Feb 12
21 min
Nightmare On Elm Street
When a socially anxious improv nerdโ€™s first co-ed Halloween sleepover devolves into graveyard hide-and-seek, a catastrophic poop incident, and a possibly dead birthday girl, the result is her first kiss, a legendary story, and the shocking realization that she might actually like parties.๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Jan 28
22 min
Dead Aunties Society
๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Jan 22
20 min
Brown Beard
What could go wrong during a romantic night after an all-you-can-eat crab fest? Whatever you are imagining, this is worse. Or better ๐Ÿ˜Š๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Jan 14
19 min
The Special Sauce
How to win over your girlfriend's Italian family you ask? Here's a hint: Try using mushrooms ๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Jan 7
19 min
Child's Play
When Garyโ€™s son refuses to sleep night after night, he finds parenting inspiration in the most unlikely of places: yes, the Chuckie doll from the horror movie, Childโ€™s Play.๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Dec 17, 2025
21 min
Into The Wild
When Sarah tries to rescue her third stray animal of the month, she doesnโ€™t expect to put her life on the line. Or learn about the danger, after the fact, over vegetable lo mein.๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Dec 3, 2025
18 min
An Eggs-ellent Ending
Anxiety Addict's BS is more than excited to share another Megan Chacalos Story (You may know her as the Olive Oil Girl.)A true story about Megan's YiaYia after immigrating to West Virginia from Greece, this story will have you laughing and also happy you can't smell it...ย ๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Nov 19, 2025
21 min
RAD RERUN!!!! You Can't Always Get What You Want
This is a story about life, drugs, rock and roll and what really matters. This is one of our absolute all time favorite stories about a teenager growing up in New York in the 70s and how things never work out exactly how you planned.๐ŸŒˆ Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!๐Ÿ€ All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com๐Ÿ“š Love the stories?๐Ÿ‘„ Have one to tell?โฐ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contactโœ๏ธ How does it work?๐Ÿ‘€ Is it annoying?๐Ÿ‘ฎ Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.๐Ÿ† Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is ๐Ÿ”ฅ Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxoJo & Morgan
Aug 28, 2025
20 min
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