It's great to be back with you after a six-week break from the show! What better way to kick things off than for my wise and wonderful wife, Charis, to join me again for this second installment in a 2-part series about how assessments can transform your life, work, and relationships.   In the previous episode, through the lens of our own stories, Charis and I explored the transformational potential available to us through the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory, an assessment that helps us understand our natural personality style better.  In this episode, again through the lens of our own stories, we're going to explore the transformational potential available to us through the Highlands Ability Battery, an instrument that helps us understand the abilities we were born with. The Highlands Ability Battery is particularly useful for understanding the kind of work we were made to do in the world.  Taken together, Myers-Briggs and the Highlands Ability Battery provide invaluable insight into the kind of human we are--our Nature. In turn, that insight can equip us to become the person we were made to be and live the life we were made to live.  Any of These Sound Familiar? If you find yourself stuck in any area of life...If you're finding that what got you here isn't getting you where you want to go...If you have persistent points of irritation or conflict at home or at work...If you have a big dream to tackle but just can't seem to get moving...If you simply want to be all that you can be...Then this episode is for you.  You don't have to listen to the previous episode in order for this one to make sense. Both episodes can stand alone. But I do encourage you to tune into both for the full benefit.  As I said in the previous episode, much of who we are and why we do what we do as humans in this world remains a mystery. But some things don't need to remain a mystery. We hope our story inspires you to pursue fresh insight into the kind of human you are and start taking action on it today.   Highlights from This Conversation How the Highlands Ability Battery (HAB) dispelled old but deeply-held limiting beliefs about Charis, improved her perception of herself, and how it can do the same for you.  How HAB gave Charis new insights, tools, and self-permission that dramatically improved her ability to advance professionally, and how it can do the same for you.  How HAB infused Charis with more confidence about her own abilities and her professional path, and how it can do the same for you. How the insights gained from HAB continue to help Charis on a day-to-day basis in her daily life and work, and how it can do the same for you. How HAB revised my (Andrew’s) perception of myself and the first 14 years of my professional life.  How HAB has helped me (Andrew) write a new chapter personally and professionally that aligns better than ever before with the kind of human I am, and how it can do the same for you.  How HAB helped me be more available for my wife and kids and finally begin enjoying rather than just needing vacations! And more…   Making It Matter in Your Life I've said this often at the end of an episode, but it remains the million-dollar question: If you tuned in to this episode, what's sticking with you? And here's the 2 Million Dollar question: What's one thing you're willing and able to do today with the insight you've gained? Insight + Action = Transformation. Don't waste a perfectly good insight by neglecting to do something with it. Put it to work and transform your life.  Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help! It would be a pleasure to help you become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying!   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 084 | From Irritation to Appreciation: How Assessments Can Transform Your Life and Relationships Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner’s Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live

What's a recurring point of irritation in your most important relationship? Where do you consistently feel frustrated at work? What annoys you about your default way of operating in the world?  Without a doubt, your personality and the normal and natural differences between yours and other people's personalities are involved in those situations. This is good news, because you can do something about it. Deepening your understanding of your innate personality style and making real-world changes as a result of what you learn empowers you to deploy yourself in life even more enjoyably, meaningfully, and productively.   In this episode, the first in a two-part series, my wife Charis returns to the show to help me unpack some of the many ways in which acquiring and acting upon personality insights has dramatically improved our lives individually and as a couple. Much of who we are and why we do what we do as humans in this world remains a mystery. But some things don't need to remain a mystery. Our innate personality style is one of those things. We hope our story inspires you to pursue fresh insight into your personality style and start taking action on it today. This episode focuses on the many benefits available from the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, specifically. See You in August…Lord Willin’ and the Creek Don’t Rise! I'm taking a break from the show in July, so this is the last episode until August. Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I'm looking forward to a great second half of the year, with more enlightening conversations--including part 2 of this two-part series with Charis. That episode will explore the game-changing power of gaining deeper insight into your natural abilities, the abilities you were born with. Together with insights about your personality gained from MBTI, insights into your natural abilities form a really solid baseline understanding of your Nature--the kind of human you are.  The second half of the year will include more short solo episodes, too, all geared toward equipping you with the practical means by which to deploy the Mortality Mindset in your life with transformational results.  Thank you for your time, attention, and trust. Those are precious commodities, and I don't take them for granted.  I hope you and yours have a wonderful July. In the meantime, as always, you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, at andrewpettycoach.com, or email me at [email protected].  I've said it once already in this episode, but it's worth repeating: Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it!    How Can I Help? Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.  Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 021 | Sometimes, the Grass IS Greener: How a Familiar Bit of Conventional Wisdom Could be Holding You Back from the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code

We all have a lot of competing demands and priorities, obligations and opportunities--plenty of day-to-day things to tend to that have clear relevance. In the midst of all that, why would we set aside time specifically for cultivating deeper connections with fellow humans? What's the point of "connection" with others? On the one hand, a better question might be "why don't we set aside that time" because perhaps its value is obvious on some level. But the fact of the matter is that many of us still suffer from a profound lack of meaningful human connection--especially in this global age. So though we may give it lip service, most of us don't walk the talk.  Martie McNabb is a personal historian/visual artist who creates visual narratives from client’s photo, document & memorabilia archives. She's also an interactive story-sharing heartist who helps people create connections by giving them a way to share the stories of the things they keep. That's what her company, Thing Tide Show & Tale, and her Show and Tale events are all about. Helping people connect has been part of her Martie's mission from the beginning. In this episode, you'll learn how the things that we keep contain stories waiting to be told, how telling those stories connects us to our own Story and to our fellow humans more meaningfully, and why all of that matters for you and me.    Write a Great Story With Your Life in The Graveyard Group In the Graveyard Group, write your best life Story with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset and human connection to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.  New groups for men and women are forming now. andrewpettycoach.com to schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at [email protected].   Connect with Martie Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website | YouTube | Podcast   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 074 | From Pain to Purpose: Finding What Matters, with Alison Zimmerman Ep. 076 | Legacy: What It Is and Why It Matters, with Maggie Gannon  

The previous episode laid out a simple way to change the world–one to which each of us can contribute. It’s not easy, but thankfully it is simple.  This episode lays out a way to overcome one of the key obstacles we often encounter on the way to changing the world–namely, our own poorly-established and unstable identity. It’s another timely reboot in an age that can sometimes feel incurably chaotic.    One Pond, Two Fish: Meet John John was born in 1952 in a small town in Michigan. His mom managed the homefront, his dad was an accountant, and he had two younger sisters. In keeping with the prevailing sentiment of the day, his mom and dad favored stability, predictability, and peace above all else since WWII was still painfully if not distantly visible in the rearview mirror. And John’s dad was a combat veteran. Gratitude for the simplicity of small-town American life was a staple of John’s family’s ethic, and dreams of bigger and better things weren’t exactly frowned upon, but they weren’t encouraged either.  John went to school with the same 60 or so kids from K-12, watched the same regular TV programming as everyone else, and was glad to get a job at a local print shop when he graduated from high school. He liked art and design, and this seemed like a reasonable way to get a bit of that in his work while at the same time taking his place among the ranks of the responsible and productive.  John eventually bought the print shop after 20 years at the company and the establishment of his own family, and though each decade brought with it its own set of challenges in the world at large, John had a sense of who he was and what he did in the world. He was John, the son of Tom and Sally, from a small town in Michigan. He was a husband, father, business owner, and engaged member of his community. He was aware of the wider world and interested in its affairs, but he didn’t spend much time concerning himself about things that didn’t affect his immediate day-to-day or threaten to do so.  On the whole, John was content to be a decent-sized fish in a small pond in the middle of Michigan.    One Pond, Two Fish: Meet Alex Alex was born in 1995 in the same small Michigan town as John. The town was bigger when Alex was born, but not significantly so. It had simply grown the way that towns can when there aren’t specific causes for decline but neither are there particular reasons for a boom. His mom was an IT manager who worked from home and his dad was a VP with a national healthcare provider. Alex was an only child.  Alex changed schools 4 times and moved to different neighborhoods twice in his K-12 years--the result of his parents’ concerns about the quality of the education he was receiving and proximity to the airport for his dad’s business trips. So, Alex had several different groups of friends over the years but became increasingly less social as the years wore on--fatigue from the social turnover taking its toll. By the time he was a sophomore in high school, smart phones and the proliferation of social media made it easier to interact from a distance and meet people outside of his hometown that he found more interesting. He was aware of the vastness of the world and the almost infinite options awaiting him. There was so...much...more out there than this little town had to offer.  By the time his senior year rolled around, Alex was counting down the milliseconds until graduation--when he was free to leave the stifling smallness of his hometown and explore new horizons. Maybe he’d visit his buddy Alex in Oregon, whose dad grew marijuana for medical use, or his online crush Lisa in Miami. His gaming buddy, Yoshi, had invited him to visit him in Tokyo. That would be amazing. The possibilities were endless.  Fast forward to the present day, and Alex’s still a relatively young man at 26, but he’s beginning to feel some internal pressure to figure some things out. He’s lived in 4 different cities since high school graduation--all thankfully much different and in his opinion way more interesting than his hometown. But eventually, each city got a little old, or he had a hard time connecting with new people there, or the tech job he’d landed went away because of down-sizing or right-sizing or an acquisition. He’s feeling a bit adrift. He’s spending more and more time on social media--fantasizing about achieving the stardom and notoriety of a Gary V. or a Joe Rogan and peering into the lives of hundreds of people he doesn’t know but whose lives look more interesting than his. This isn’t helping. It creates a chronic sense of he’s here and “they” are way over there--living in a magical land of financial ease and personal certainty. The gap seems to be widening with every passing day.  Plus, it appears to him that the world is beginning to crumble around him. Racial unrest, global pandemics, dishonest politicians, and environmental armageddon are just a few of the big things that threaten to do the world in any day now. At least, that’s what he’s hearing in the media. And can the media be trusted? If not they, then how does he get reliable info about the state of things? He feels like he ought to do something about at least one of these things. But which one? And what can he possibly do as just one guy? He feels increasingly like he’s being swept along by a tidal wave of horrible inevitability that he’s powerless against.  Alex is a small fish in a global fish pond. It’s terrifying, and it’s paralyzing.    The Global Fish Pond Crisis Hopefully, the juxtaposition of the portraits of these men from the same town but with very different experiences of the world illustrates the theory I want to share with you. Here’s the theory, simply stated to make the implicit explicit: I think that most if not all of us are suffering at the hands of what I’m calling the Global Fish Pond Crisis. We’re susceptible to some version of Alex’s experience in the world. I actually think it’s a big reason that people like me have a job doing what we do. People feel adrift in a global fish pond and need help making sense of their place in it.  Here’s what I think is happening: When the whole world is at our fingertips 24/7 and the old ways of forming an identity aren’t adequate anymore, then it’s completely up to us to catalyze our identity--a term I first heard from Jordan Peterson--and stabilize it in the midst of a global pond churning with other fish trying to do the same thing. In John’s case, geography and associated cultural norms provided reliable, local boundaries to his fish pond and formed a foundation for his identity. He was one fish among 20,000, not one among 7 Billion as we may feel ourselves to be today.  But perhaps the biggest problem with the Global Fish Pond Crisis is that we’re not aware that it exists. We’re tempted instead to think that we’re just not cutting it. We may be aware of various degrees of psychological pain and suffering caused by it--like in Alex’s case--but we’re misattributing it to our own laziness or incompetency or lack of worth. This is a case in which I think many of us are truly being victimized. And that’s why I bring it up. Because if this Global Fish Pond Crisis is actually a thing, then exposing it and its insidious effects on us means we can stop being victimized by it and start doing something about it.  We can go from unwitting victim to victor and find our place in the vast global pond in which we now swim. In an age where few of us are born into small local ponds anymore, we have the opportunity to appropriately claim a small part of the global pond for our own--a part of the pond small enough to actually make a difference.    How to Rescue Ourselves from the Global Fish Pond Crisis I think the way forward lies in each of us doing our best to assume even more complete responsibility for ourselves. To concern ourselves with those things that we can influence, to get our own houses in order, so to speak, and operate as productively as we know how right now, right where we are, with what we have. Staying zoomed out to the global view too much of the time leads to overwhelm and, frankly, I think it’s a cop-out because we then blame the global situation for why we’ve failed to sort ourselves out. Because what can one person do when the world is burning down around us? That’s victim stuff right there, and we’re all susceptible to it in one way or another.   Zoom out every once in a while, sure--but zoom right back to your own here and now, and determine to do what you can right where you are. And I don’t mean do what you can to fix the world. I mean do what you can to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. I think that when we do that, we actually fulfill the many desperate needs in the world better and more quickly, anyway.    Are You Struggling to Find Your Place in A Global Fish Pond? If this idea is scratching an itch for you--if you resonate with the idea of feeling like a tiny fish in a global pond--then resolve to do something about it in your own life right now. These four episodes of Andrew Petty is Dying will be especially useful as you take next steps to rescue yourself from the Global Fish Pond Crisis:  Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner’s Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live Remember, you are going to die. But you aren’t dead yet. So get after it!   I Can Help You I can help you escape the grip of the Global Fish Pond Crisis. I can help you establish and stabilize your identity so you can become the person you were made to be, live the life you were made to live, and do your part to change the world.   Visit my website to schedule a free first session.   I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 019 | The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner’s Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live

Today’s episode is a timely reboot from the archives. It’s a reminder we can all benefit from and something we tend to lose sight of all too easily. It’s an antidote to apathy and despair in an age of doom and gloom.   Doom and Gloom Abounds If environmental armageddon doesn’t get us first, then a hostile nation’s plans for global domination will. Maybe the Republicans will sink the ship and all hands will be lost. Or maybe it’ll be the Democrats doing. What about AI--the potential for hyper-intelligent machines to take over the world and eradicate or enslave humanity? You thought COVID was tough? Just wait until the next super virus is unleashed by nameless, faceless, malevolent forces plotting our demise even as we speak.  Take your pick. There are no shortage of dire, doom and gloom scenarios to choose from these days. And the media and the internet serve up heaping quantities of it onto our psychological plates if we get in line for the 24/7 buffet.  I’m NOT saying, BTW, that there aren’t genuine reasons to be concerned about the state of the world. There are--and, there always have been. In the modern digital age, though, it’s possible to be aware of most of the challenges facing the world--or, at least, the existing portrayals of those challenges--and to be aware of them most of the time. That’s infinitely more knowledge and awareness than any one of us can hold well in our hearts and minds or possibly act upon. And if we’re not careful, it can lead us to despair, despondency, and inaction.  Where does that leave us, then? What CAN we do?  Good questions.  How do we change the world?   It’s Simple, Actually I’m not going to bury the lead here. Let’s get right to the point.  To change the world, simply be the best “you” that you can possibly be.  Profoundly simple. And FAR from easy. If it was easy, more of us would embrace it and live it out.  It’s also far from a new idea. “Be the change you want to see in the world” is a statement derived from ideas that Gandhi put forth. As is “if you want to change the world, go home and love your family”--that one derived from Mother Teresa’s way of thinking. Today, in his book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, Jordan Peterson sounds a similar note when he exhorts us all to “get our own house in perfect order” before we criticize the world or, by extrapolation, try to change the whole world.  It’s not a new idea, but it seems to be one that needs to be revived in our hearts and minds these days. We forget. And we get swept up in the myriad of massive global concerns and take our eye off the ball right in front of us--the only ball that is really ours to carry. The ball of our One and Only Life, our unique path, and the purposes we alone can accomplish along that path.  We need to return to this simple idea and double-down on it in our own lives. As Natalie Niksa said in the previous episode, “we’ve lost our way because of all the shiny objects.” And in returning to this priority, we’ll revitalize our personal power, passion, and purpose and reduce our sense of paralysis and powerlessness in the face of all of the world’s woes. Then, we can really get to work, right where we are, with what we have.     Breaking It Down  But what does it mean to “be the best you that you can possibly be,” and how does that actually change the world?  It means taking radical responsibility for yourself. It means working your ass off to discover and express your unique self as fully as you can and bring your unique gifts into the world. It means dreaming the dreams that exist only within your heart and doing your damndest to fulfill them. It means doing the work to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. It means working your ass off to be the best spouse, partner, parent, neighbor, and employee, employer, or entrepreneur that you can be. It means dragging yourself over the finish line of your life utterly depleted AND utterly satisfied because you left it all out on the field.  For some, those efforts will yield global recognition and impact. For others of us, our efforts will only ever be known among those closest to us. Guess what? The scope and scale of our impact is irrelevant and, frankly, none of our business. It’s not even knowable, in fact. We have no way of knowing how much of a difference our life will make--now, and in the years and generations to come. Our lives ripple into eternity, just like those before us ripple into ours.    Keep It Positive Make no mistake, though: There’s no such thing as a neutral or no-impact life.  We don’t get to control IF our life will make an impact or know how much of an impact we ultimately make, but we do get to influence what KIND of impact we’ll make. Will it be negative because we shrank back, didn’t take full responsibility for our One and Only life, and failed to show up--and our absence was a loss for those who needed us to show up? Or will it be positive--not because we showed up perfectly all the time, but rather because we did our very best to simply show up, to bring the best of ourselves to this fleeting life, day in and day out?  Carl Jung said that the greatest burden a child can take into adulthood is the unlived life of their parent.  In a slightly sillier context but with no less relevance, in the Lego movie Ninjago, Lloyd the good ninja tells his dad, the movie’s arch villain, that he ruined his life. To which his dad, Lord Garmadon, replies, scoffingly, “How could I ruin your life? I wasn’t even there.”    But How Does It Change the World?  If all of that at least makes a dent in understanding HOW to “be the best you that you can possibly be,” then that leaves the question of how it actually changes the world.  When we take responsibility for being the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be, then we change ourselves. When we change ourselves, we change our world--the little part of the world that we call our own. Our family life changes, our work life changes, our community life changes. Then, as our world changes, by definition the world changes as the ripples move outward from us at the epicenter.  Change your life...change your world...change the world. That, my friends, is how we change the world.    Buckle Up, Buttercup The good news is that it’s so simple. Our primary focus becomes simply evolving ourselves. As I said at the beginning, though, it’s far from easy. There’s no journey more challenging. But there’s also no journey more completely satisfying and worthwhile. And if you’re looking for more purpose and meaning, this journey will fill that cup to overflowing.  So buckle up, buttercup, and get to work becoming the best you that you can possibly be.  And remember, you are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!   Change the World in The Graveyard Group The Graveyard Group was created precisely for the purpose of helping you become the very best you that you can be. It combines the unsurpassed motivational horsepower of the Mortality Mindset with the force multiplying influence of your very own confidential board of advisors. Break free from the status quo, become who you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live.  New groups for men and women are forming now, and both in-person and virtual options are available.  Visit my website to learn more and schedule a free 1-1 coaching session to determine if The Graveyard Group is right for you.  BTW, this episode pairs well with episode 036, The Global Fish Pond Crisis, because it offers a solution to the Global Fish Pond Crisis. And no, episode 036 is not about a literal fish pond crisis; it’s about the formidable challenges of constructing solid identities for ourselves in this modern, globalized age. If you haven’t checked it out, and this one was meaningful to you, then I encourage you to do so.  I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Recommend These, Too Ep. 014 | Dare to Dream Again: The Antidote to a Mediocre Life Ep. 016 | The Question That Changes Everything: The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 025 | The Contentment Conundrum: Cracking the Code Ep. 029 | Dragon Slayer: One Man's Tale of Heroic Life Renovation Ep. 035 | Build Your Personal Owner’s Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live

What does our energy have to do with finding our unique Path in life? A lot, as it turns out. Stay tuned to learn how to put it to work for you.     Energy for the Win It was 2015, and I was a couple years into a major personal and professional evolution–much of which I share about in greater detail in the earliest episodes of this show. Part of that evolution had included a move to CO. Now, after a self-administered period of sabbatical, it was time to begin getting clearer on what the next chapter would be for me professionally. Though I didn’t have the language for it back then, through a long process of self-discovery supported by family, friends, colleagues, my first partnership with a coach, and insights gained through assessments and reflection, I had already created something very similar to my very own Personal Owner’s Manual. To learn how to create yours, tune into episode 035, Build Your Personal Owner’s Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live.  As a result of all that work, I was beginning to lean toward coaching as the next step along my professional path. I wasn’t yet committed to it, though. Until, that is, I began to recall when I felt more and less energized in my previous professional chapter. Hands-down, I realized, I felt more energized when I was having meaningful conversations in 1-1 and small group settings about how to move forward. Those conversations left me on a high and helped those involved. Conversely, I felt much less energized when I returned to most of the other parts of my job.  What kind of work would involve a lot more of those kinds of conversations, I wondered, and a lot less of all the other stuff? In light of the new clarity that reflecting on my energy had provided, in conjunction with the accumulated insights from all of my previous self-discovery, the field of coaching, broadly speaking, became the obvious next step on my professional path. So I summoned the courage to put my Insight into Action, and began to move forward on that path. After 7+ years of coaching, I can confidently say that my energy didn’t let me down. It was a reliable guide then, and it continues to guide me well today. Your energy can do the same for you.    The Energy Gauge Imagine with me for a moment a dashboard. This isn’t any old dashboard, though. It’s your personal dashboard. Its gauges and indicator lights are specific to you, and from it you gain important information about how well you’re functioning. Your fuel gauge tells you when it’s time to rest, recover, and recharge. Your emotions gauge informs you about how you’re responding to internal and external stimuli and where attention is needed. You get the idea. It’s your dashboard, and you can customize it any way you’d like. I recommend making sure that one gauge is present and prominent on your dashboard, however–your Energy Gauge.  When we pay attention to our energy, we get rich real-world feedback about what we were made to do and what we weren’t made to do. Watch when your energy gauge goes up and when it goes down. In both cases, take note of the specific conditions that are causing it to go up or down. Then, take action to engineer the circumstances of your life to allow you to do more of what energizes you and less of what doesn’t.  The magic of the energy gauge lies at least in large part in the fact that when our energy goes up, we can be confident that our innate personality, abilities, gifts, and talents, our life experiences, our interests, and our values are all being put to use in some significant way. When our energy goes down, we can be confident that those things are less present.  In other words, when we pay attention to our energy gauge, we get all that and a bag of chips.  Whether you need a tweak, a major adjustment, or feel like you have no clue at all what your path in life is, your energy gauge will serve you well. It’s simple, reliable, actionable, and powerful. It demystifies what can feel like a daunting and hopelessly complex pursuit, i.e. finding your path in life.  Anyone can use it, and you can begin using it right now. The keys to unlocking its potential are the Courage and Humility to act upon what you discover.  Tune in to episodes 077 and 078 to learn more about Courage, Humility, and the rest of the Big 6 essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die.    Check Your Personal Energy Gauge What is your energy gauge telling you? What’s one thing you’re willing and able to change today to act on what it’s telling you and get even clearer on your unique path in life?  Remember, you are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it.    Dedicated Support for the Road Ahead It’s one thing to pay attention to your energy gauge. It’s another thing entirely to act on what it’s telling you and stay the course. That’s where a 1-1 coaching partnership with me can make all the difference. I’ll help you break free from the grip of the Status Quo so that you can become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live.  To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free session, find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, or email me.  I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 022 | Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise Ep. 062 | What Do You Do?: A Tool for Understanding Yourself Better and Finding Your Unique Path in Life

What's on the other side of Death?  Danielle Slupesky came face-to-face with her own Mortality through a harrowing and prolonged medical crisis. She barely lived to tell the tale. In the midst of that crisis, she had a near-death experience that completely changed the trajectory of her life and her relationship with Death. Danielle is an End-of-Life Coach and a Death Doula based out of Albuquerque, NM. In this episode, she gives us a detailed first-hand account of her near-death experience and how it changed her.  Frankly, it's difficult to know where to file or categorize Danielle's experience. On the one hand, it would be reassuring if it fit neatly into my existing worldview or further supported it. But it doesn't do that, so for now it gets filed under "Unsolved Mysteries."  It's clear, though, that what remains a mystery to me has radically transformed Danielle. Its impact cannot be ignored. For that reason alone, her story is worth paying attention to. But there's more to Danielle's story that deserves our attention, including the importance of surrender, the perils of unconscious living, and how our bodies whisper messages that we need to hear and heed.  This conversation enlightened, challenged, and encouraged me. I hope it does the same for you.    Some Highlights From This Conversation Danielle “before and after” her encounter with Mortality and near-death experience The perils of “unconscious” living and how to live more consciously How to hear what our body is whispering to us about our mental and emotional wellbeing Danielle shares a detailed account of her near-death experience and how it changed her What Danielle considers most important today, after her encounter with mortality and near-death experience How an End-of-Life Coach can help you live more consciously today The role of the Death Doula in the 21st Century Tune in to the full episode for more…   The Graveyard Group: End-of-Life Coaching, Mastermind-style The Graveyard Group is like end-of-life coaching with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. As Danielle pointed out, when we bring our Mortality to the forefront of our awareness and begin planning for a conscious death, we automatically begin to lead more conscious lives.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free 1-1 coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, or email me.    Let’s Connect I can help you uncover what you really want and go after it with guts, gusto, and abandon. Schedule a free session to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership with me is a good choice for you. Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me.    Connect with Danielle Email | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 011 | Embracing Mystery, When to Call It a Day, and What Matters Most: Lessons from an Astonishing Life-After-Death Story Ep. 063 | Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go, with Carrie Chown

What does it take to live a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die?  That’s really the question at the heart of this podcast, and this episode is part two of a two-part series aimed at providing a trustworthy answer to that question. Through my own life experience, conversations with guests on this show, 1-1 coaching partnerships, and The Graveyard Group, I’ve identified six essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we’ll be outrageously proud of when we die. I call them the Big 6. Other ingredients are important and useful, for sure, but none appear to me to be as important as these six. Without them, the recipe simply doesn’t work.   In the previous episode, I introduced you to the first three of the Big 6, Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling. In this episode, I’ll introduce you to the second three, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge.  There is a logic to the order of the ingredients in this recipe. They build on one another, and each one depends upon the others that precede it. If you haven’t listened to the previous episode yet and you have an additional 8 minutes to spare right now, I recommend tuning in to that episode first before listening to this one.    The Fourth Ingredient: Self-Permission The fourth essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of is Self-permission. Self-permission is ownership of the reality that I can do what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want, with whom I want. It is a permission granted to us simply by virtue of our arrival at chronological adulthood, but many chronological adults remain emotional and psychological juveniles because they fail to fully grant themselves this permission. Instead, their thoughts and actions remain heavily and unduly influenced by others, by worn-out worldviews inherited from their family of origin, and by a myriad of other external sources of permission. They remain dependent upon external sources of permission to determine what they think and how they conduct themselves in the world.  Self-permission can be used for good or evil, and everything in between. It isn’t a license to run amok. Nor does it mean tuning out the input of others; it is wise to seek and learn from the counsel and examples of others. Rather, the proper expression of Self-permission simply frees us from dependence upon external sources of permission in order to think and act.  Let me say that again: The proper expression of Self-permission simply frees us from dependence upon external sources of permission in order to think and act. It also puts the consequences of our thoughts and actions squarely at our feet, a topic we’ll delve into next when we discuss Self-responsibility. Failure to take full ownership of Self-permission relegates us to living at least in part according to the will and permissions of others. This limits our ability to become the person we were uniquely made to be and live the life we were uniquely made to live because our Path and Purpose are co-opted by others’ will and wishes.  Successfully taking full ownership of Self-permission, however, sets us free to discover who and what we really are and who and what we really can become. We are able to make our unique contribution to the world.  Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling are prerequisites for Self-permission.  Remember, as an adult, you really can do what you want, when you want, how you want, where you want, with whom you want. Use the privilege well.  Tune into Ep. 022, entitled Tune Out to Tune In: Hearing & Heeding Your Inner Voice in a World Full of Noise, to learn how your inner voice can help you add more Self-permission in your own life. How fully have you embraced Self-permission? In what area of your life can you exercise even more Self-permission?   The Fifth Ingredient: Self-responsibility The fifth Big 6 ingredient is Self-responsibility. Self-responsibility is complete ownership of our thoughts, words, and actions and the consequences that result from them. It is “extreme ownership,” to borrow Jocko Willink’s phrase from his book by the same name. It is the antidote to the insidious and destructive force of victimhood and just about every other manifestation of human dysfunction imaginable.  When we are Self-responsible, we exhibit a willingness to acknowledge and make amends for mistakes. We choose to be solution-focused rather than problem- or blame-focused. We acknowledge that we always have a choice. We point the finger at ourselves first.  Self-responsibility helps us distinguish between what we can and can’t control. It allows us to forge interdependent rather than dependent or co-dependent bonds in relationships because we’re able to establish and maintain healthier boundaries. We neither assume too little or too much responsibility for others. We are 100% responsible for ourselves and appropriately responsible for others.  Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, and Self-permission are all prerequisites of Self-responsibility. Tune in to Ep. 019, The Cockpit is Yours: From Passenger to Pilot, for more on this topic.  How have you demonstrated Self-responsibility recently? In what area of your life is more Self-responsibility needed?   The Sixth Ingredient: Self-knowledge The sixth and final essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die is Self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is an ever-evolving understanding about the kind of human you are–your Nature—and the influence of your Story–or Nurture–upon the person you’ve become. Together, Nature and Nurture help us discover the person we were made to be and the life we were made to live.  Self-knowledge is made up of both quantitative and qualitative data and information. It is both objectively- and subjectively-derived. Professional assessments and inventories like those that I use with my clients, our own experience, and counsel and feedback from friends, family, mentors, coaches, and mental health professionals are valuable sources of Self-knowledge.  Our pursuit of Self-knowledge depends upon increasing measures of Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, and Self-responsibility. In turn, the Self-knowledge that we gain helps us deploy Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, and Self-responsibility even more effectively.  Deeper Self-knowledge leads to a more enjoyable, meaningful, and productive life. Though its fruits are personally rewarding, we ultimately pursue Self-knowledge in order to better understand how we are uniquely equipped to serve humankind.  Tune in to Ep. 035 of Andrew Petty is Dying, Build Your Personal Owner’s Manual: Understand Yourself Better, Enjoy Yourself More, and Live the Life You were Made to Live, for more on this topic. How have you deepened your Self-knowledge recently? In what area of your life is more Self-knowledge needed?    Perfecting the Recipe: Just Add More There you have it–the 6 essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die.  The instructions in this recipe are simple: Just keep adding more. More cups of Courage. Heaps more Humility. Tons more Truth-telling. More generous scoops of Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-Knowledge.  With this recipe, more is always better.   Each time you add just a little more, you’re investing in a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die.  Which ingredient can you begin adding more of today? Because remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!   Become a Master Chef in The Graveyard Group If the Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die, then The Graveyard Group is the kitchen in which you become a master chef.  You and your own personal, confidential board of advisors help each other perfect your recipes for amazing lives. The Mortality Mindset is the heat that energizes your work together. Step by step, week by week, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it’s too late.  Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, or email me.     Get Unstuck and Create the Life You’ve Always Wanted I know what it’s like to be stuck. I also know what it takes to get moving again toward the life you’ve always wanted. If you’re stuck, schedule a free coaching session to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership is right for you.   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living Ep. 070 | Forward, Pioneer!: Why the "Frontier" is the Best Place to Be Ep. 072 | Report from the Frontier: A Pioneer's Tale, with Kris Reeves   Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher

What does it take to live a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die?   That’s really the question at the heart of this podcast. Together, we’re cultivating the mindset and acquiring the means to answer this question. The Mortality Mindset breaks us free of the Status Quo’s gravitational pull and motivates us to give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it’s too late. The insights and tools we’ve assembled along the way are the means by which we put the Mortality Mindset to work in the real world.   Here’s another way to look at it: The means we’re acquiring are like ingredients in a recipe, and the Mortality Mindset is the heat we apply to those ingredients in order to produce the desired result.   Through my own life experience, conversations with guests on this show, 1-1 coaching partnerships, and The Graveyard Group, I’ve identified six essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we’ll be outrageously proud of when we die. I call them the Big 6. Other ingredients are important and useful, for sure, but none appear to me to be as important as these six. Without them, the recipe simply doesn’t work.    In this episode, I’ll introduce you to the first three of the Big 6, Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling. Tune in to the next episode for the second three, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge.    Ingredient 1: Courage The first essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of is Courage.  Courage is the sovereign choice to be brave in response to fear.  It is first among the Big 6 because none of the other Big 6 ingredients are possible without it. In fact, it’s difficult to think of a single admirable personal quality or act that doesn’t have Courage as its foundation.  Courage is not something you have to go find. It’s something you choose to summon right here and now in order to take the very next step forward. We demonstrate courage when we choose to have the hard conversation, get out of bed when it would be easier to hide away, and take on a new challenge.  Consistently summoning Courage makes once-feared things seem trivial.  The antidote to fear is not becoming less afraid. It’s getting more brave. So if you’re scared, practice being brave. Over time, as your consistent choice to summon courage expands the frontiers upon which you’re capable of operating in the world, the Frontier becomes your playground.  Courage is also contagious; the more we practice it, the more it inspires others to do the same. Tune in to Ep. 005, How to Become the Boss of Your Fear: Bravery-building to Live With More Guts and Gusto, for more on Courage, the first ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die.   How have you summoned Courage recently? In what area of your life is more Courage needed?   Ingredient 2: Humility The second Big 6 ingredient is Humility. Humility is fueled by Courage.  Humility is the courageous willingness to acknowledge our ignorance, deficiencies, and mistakes and move forward anyway. Humility is a courageous attitude of the heart that welcomes truth no matter how hard it might be to receive. It continually verifies our perception of ourselves and the world against the feedback that others offer us. It is the “sober judgment” of oneself commended in the book of Romans. It is essential for learning and growth.  We demonstrate humility when we ask the question that no one else is asking, despite our fear that others will think it’s dumb. We demonstrate humility when we confess our wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness. We demonstrate humility when we submit to the guidance and instruction of someone wiser than us. We demonstrate humility when we can acknowledge both our strengths and our weaknesses without any inflation or deflation of who we are.  How have you demonstrated Humility recently? In what area of your life is more Humility needed?   Ingredient 3: Truth-telling The third Big 6 ingredient is Truth-telling. Truth-telling is fueled by Courage and Humility.  Truth-telling is accurately defining reality–first for ourselves and then for others. Often, the only thing harder than telling others the truth is telling it to ourselves. It requires us to acknowledge who and where we actually are vs. who and where we’d like to be or think we should be. Often, it highlights difficult actions that we need to take.  Life can feel easier in the short-term when we don’t tell the truth, but the degree to which we fail to tell the truth will be the degree to which our relationships with ourselves and others are based on lies. The short-term costs we incur for telling the truth pale in comparison to the long-term costs we incur for living by deception.  Very few of us set out to intentionally lie to ourselves and others. But we encounter significant internal and external obstacles to Truth-telling every day, and we’re not even aware of many of them. For example, if we grew up in a family that only approves of certain professions, we may find it very difficult to acknowledge the truth that we’re not well-suited to any of them. There could be big relational costs associated with telling the truth. Remember that there are big costs associated with not telling the truth, too.  A classic example is the middle-aged man who realizes one day with dismay that his corner office and high-paying position were someone else’s dream, not his, but he wasn’t willing to acknowledge the truth when it tugged at him along the way.  When we tell the truth, our starting point corresponds with reality and serves as a reliable point from which to move forward. If we don’t tell the truth, though, our starting point doesn’t correspond with reality, and our navigation forward will lead to destinations for which we’re not intended.  My coach, the one-and-only Amy K., gave me a great tool for getting better at Truth-telling. Whenever you’re finding it difficult to accurately define reality in a specific situation, finish the sentence, “The truth is, …” as honestly as you can. For example, “The Truth is, I feel scared about this opportunity even though I feel like I’m supposed to be excited about it.”  How have you told the truth recently? In what area of your life is more Truth-telling needed?    It’s a Simple Recipe: Just Add More I don’t enjoy cooking, so this whole recipe metaphor is a stretch for me. For me, the simpler the recipe, the better. Whether you enjoy cooking or not, though, I have good news: The instructions in the recipe for living a life you’ll be outrageously proud of are simple: Just keep adding more. More cups of Courage. Heaps more Humility. Tons more Truth-telling. You get the idea. With this recipe, more is always better.   So, resolve to summon more Courage, risk more Humility, and practice more Truth-telling. Each time you add just a little more, you’re investing in a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die.  I’ll introduce you to the other three Big 6 ingredients–Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge–in the next episode.  In the meantime, remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!   Perfect Your Recipe in The Graveyard Group If the Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die, then The Graveyard Group is the kitchen in which you become a master chef.  You and your own personal, confidential board of advisors help each other perfect your recipes for amazing lives. The Mortality Mindset is the heat that energizes your work together. Step by step, week by week, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it’s too late.  Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, or email me.    Get Unstuck and Create the Life You’ve Always Wanted I know what it’s like to be stuck. I also know what it takes to get moving again toward the life you’ve always wanted. If you’re stuck, schedule a free coaching session to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership is right for you.    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 050 | Seize the Offensive: An Antidote to Fear, Dread, and Timid Living Ep. 070 | Forward, Pioneer!: Why the "Frontier" is the Best Place to Be Ep. 072 | Report from the Frontier: A Pioneer's Tale, with Kris Reeves

Legacy. What is it, and why does it matter? As a 28-year veteran in the field of Otorhinolaryngology, clinical nurse specialist Maggie Gannon first encountered the transformational impact of legacy in the crucible of caring for desperately ill head and neck cancer patients. Then, cancer hit close to home. That ordeal galvanized her resolve to bring the power of legacy to everyone.   Today, Maggie is the founder and CEO of Haven, the first customer-centric company built from clinical research to help the patient, the family, and the companies that serve them improve quality of life during life’s last chapter. Haven is changing the experience of death into something more meaningful and peaceful when the time comes. Maggie is also a recognized national lecturer and author.    There’s Something to This Legacy Thing This is the second time in as many episodes that legacy has come up, so I'm taking note. If you haven't already, tune in to episode 075 with Alison Zimmerman for her perspective on legacy. There's something here that we need to pay attention to because those who have looked Mortality square in the eyes say it's important. Let's hear and heed their counsel now, before our own encounter with Mortality is upon us.    Highlights from This Episode How listening well helps others see new possibilities and generate new options for themselves Key differences between those who cope well with their Mortality and those who don’t How years of caring for the chronically and terminally ill has changed how Maggie lives her own life–and what that means for you and me How Maggie’s views on life and death changed when cancer hit close to home–and what that means for you and me The astounding mental, emotional, and physical benefits of connecting with and capturing our legacy  How to begin capturing your legacy today The top regrets that Maggie’s patients expressed as death drew near–don’t let them become yours! Tune in to the full episode for more…   Get in Touch With Your Legacy How well-acquainted are you with your legacy? In light of your own Mortality, what are you willing and able to do differently in order to become better acquainted with it and give the gift of your legacy to those you love? Thanks to Maggie and her Haven team, all you have to do is visit hvnlegacy.com to get started right now. Haven's guided, self-paced process is simple and intuitive and yours to use as you see fit. What you create remains as a permanent record for those you love and those who come after you.    Take the Narrow Road It would be much easier not to check out Haven. It would be much easier to enjoy the insights you gained from today's conversation but do nothing with them in the real world. But if you listen to this podcast, you are not interested in the easy road. You're looking for the narrow road that leads to a life you're outrageously proud of when you die, and you're intentionally tapping into the power of your Mortality to motivate you. Visit hvnlegacy.com and start capturing your legacy today.  Remember: You are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!   Create Your Legacy in a Graveyard Group As you capture your legacy on Haven, continue creating your legacy in the Graveyard Group with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.  New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit my website to schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, or email me. I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.   Connect with Maggie Email | LinkedIn | Website    Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher   If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Ep. 053 | ​​No Time Like the Present: A Simple Tool for Giving the Things that Matter Most the Attention They Deserve Ep. 058 | How to Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework Ep. 061 | Have Time, or Time Will Have You: Escape Regret and Create a Life You're Proud Of