Julia Makowsky grew up in Los Angeles with baal teshuvah parents who became increasingly passionate about Torah as she was growing up, while Julia often felt that she was simply along for the ride. Although she had an innate spiritual connection from a young age, she struggled to make Judaism feel like her own. By the time she had her third child, she had taken on more and more religious practices out of fear, believing that if she did not daven enough or observe everything perfectly, Hashem might punish her or take away her children. When her rabbi finally told her, “That is not Torah. That is anxiety,” Julia began breaking down the way she had been practicing and rebuilding a relationship with God that felt personal, chosen, and peaceful. She and Chavie talk about what it means to find your own religious baseline, why other people’s standards can pull us away from our own values, and how Chavie’s baseline in raising five adopted children is always attachment and safety. Julia shares that she knew she wanted to become a therapist from the time she was eight years old because of how deeply she felt other people’s emotions. She opens up about growing up as an empath, the emotional scar tissue she developed after being hurt and abused, and what she later had to learn as a therapist about separating her clients’ feelings from her own and not helping them through the lens of her personal wounds. She then explains why she added coaching to her work, describing therapy as a space where the practitioner asks the questions that help a client arrive at their own answers, while coaching allows her to be more direct, identify concrete steps, and help someone move toward a specific outcome. Julia and Chavie talk about why both approaches matter, why coaching cannot replace the processing that sometimes needs to happen first, and why the right practitioner may look different for each person. They close by asking when healing becomes another form of avoidance, why constant self-reflection and optimization can leave us perpetually dissatisfied, and whether feeling calm, not endlessly striving, is a better sign that something in our lives is actually working.   Julia K. Makowsky is a licensed therapist, coach, speaker, content creator, and host of Tribe & Tribulations. Known for her honest, relatable, and compassionate approach, Julia blends professional expertise with real-life experience to explore mental health, relationships, identity, parenting, faith, and personal growth. Through her therapy practice, speaking engagements, social platforms, and podcast, she creates meaningful conversations that bridge communities, reduce stigma, and help people feel seen, understood, and empowered.   This Week's PromptCELEBRATING EPISODE 50! Which guests do you want to hear from in the voice note section? These are the guests listeners said they want to hear from and have submitted voice notes: Chaim Bruk, Sara Miriam Smith, Sarah Immerman, Moshe Weinbaum, Shaina Wiess, Aura Rosenblatt, Brochie Spritzer Referenced On the Pod 7:10 Tom Segura podcast  7:10 Tiger Belly podcast  8:05 Yitzhak Pinkesz, Author of Kosher Astrology on Julia’s podcast  8:55 Gedale Fenster  8:59 Charlie Harary  45:47 Chavie’s Tanya Class, Clearing the Mud Sara Miriam Smith's episode on Totally Unexpected! Moshe Weinbaum's episode on Totally Unexpected! Sarah Immerman's episode on Totally Unexpected! Shaina Wiess's episode on Totally Unexpected! Chaim Bruk's episode on Totally Unexpected! Brochie Spritzer's episode on Totally Unexpected! Aura Rosenblatt's episode on Totally Unexpected!   Stay in touch with Julia!Julia on Instagram https://jkmakowsky.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@juliakmakowsky   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Sonia begins by telling Chavie about the memoir-writing class that unexpectedly became her book. Then, they trace her childhood, starting with her Jewish grandparents who fled Eastern Europe, her Christian Arab grandparents who left Ottoman-era Bethlehem, and how her parents met in Colombia and built a new life together. Growing up, Sonia repeatedly asked, “What are we?” Her parents wanted their children to choose their own beliefs, but their answer, “We are nothing” left her longing to belong. She walks Chavie through the beauty of her tropical childhood, the cartel violence that transformed Colombia, and the first time a conflict in the Middle East exposed the identities and loyalties her parents had tried to set aside. At 18, Sonia left for college in America, where she explored Middle Eastern history, Hebrew, Arabic, and the Judaism that ultimately became central to her adult life. Chavie and Sonia reflect on the foundations parents give their children, even when they try not to impose, and how writing allowed Sonia to see her parents and grandparents as flawed, complicated, deeply loved people. They end with her return to her childhood home, her mother’s willingness to be uncomfortable for the sake of the book, and the ethical line between telling your own story and telling someone else’s.   Sonia Daccarett, author of the newly released book, The Roots of the Guava Tree, is a writer and communications professional. Born in Colombia to a Christian Palestinian father and a Jewish mother, she moved to the United States and received an undergraduate degree in journalism from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and a master’s degree in international and public affairs from Columbia University. For more than two decades, she worked on strategic communications initiatives with corporate and non-profit clients and currently writes and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her family.   This Week's PromptHow does antisemitism affect you? Does it make you want to be louder or go under the radar? No wrong answers!  This segment, at the end of every episode, features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on a given prompt.   Referenced On the Pod 1:47:43 Rebbetzin Miriam Lipsker of Chabad at Emory University viral video 1:58:27 Chavie's blogpost, I Need a Minute, in reaction to the chanukah Bondi massacre Stay in touch with Sonia!www.soniadaccarett.comSonia on Instagram  Order The Roots of the Guava Tree Here   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Sorella shares what it was like to grow up in London as the eleventh of twelve children in a big, Chabad family, and how her school and community experiences were shaped by a mix of Holocaust survivors, Russian immigrants, and baalei teshuvahs. She shares how, at eleven years old, her childhood was abruptly changed when her 17-year-old sister Chayale passed away suddenly, and on the same day, her best friend, Dina’s younger sister, Malky, also passed away. Chavie asks what grief looked like in the home after that, and Sorella talks about how her sister was spoken about constantly, even if the tools for processing grief were different than they are today. Sorella then shares how those two losses connected their families forever and how Dina’s older brother, Aycee, eventually became her husband after years of friendship, chemistry, and trying to convince herself he was too familiar and safe. Chavie and Sorella trace her move to Sydney, where she and Aycee built a life on shlichus, and the transition from their established roles into founding Abraham’s Tent, an organization supporting Jewish patients and families in hospitals. The losses of both their mothers became a turning point for Sorella and Aycee, pushing them to question whether they were really living up to their potential and eventually leading them to start Abraham’s Tent. Sorella then walks Chavie through a play by play of the Chanukah attack at Bondi Beach, where their close friend Rabbi Eli Schlanger was killed, and what it was like to run with her children, search for the ones who weren’t with her, and then step into the aftermath as Abraham’s Tent became part of the response for the injured and their families. Chavie reflects on how grief keeps showing up differently as life moves forward. Chavie and Sorella talk about faith, anger, fear, purpose, and what it means to keep bringing light while still living with the questions.   Sorella Abrahams is a passionate community builder and Chabad Shlucha, born in the UK into a large Chabad family. From a young age she developed a deep love for people and a fascination with their stories and journeys. Together with her husband Rabbi Aycee, Sorella founded Abrahams Tent and The Soul Centre in Randwick, Sydney in 2022, creating spaces that support hospital patients and their families while nurturing community, wellbeing and spiritual growth. Through challenges in her own life, Sorella has learned to turn pain into purpose and madness into meaning, using her experiences to uplift and support others.  A devoted wife and mother of four, she is passionate about teaching women, building meaningful connections, creative writing, public speaking, and travelling G-D's magical world.   This Week's PromptTell me about the time you forgave someone or asked someone for forgiveness! This segment at the end of every episode features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on a given prompt.   Referenced On the Pod 43:36 Merkos Shlichus  45:56 Bikur Cholim London  57:46 Abrahams’s Tent Sydney  1:14:10 Sefirat HaOmer  1:17:43 Awarness By Miriam Adahan  2:30:02 Faith Niece interview with Sony Perlman  2:33:56 Shaindy Plotzker  2:34:07 Shalom for Charlotte    Stay in touch with [email protected] @sorellaellaella on Instagram www.abrahamstent.org.au www.supportsydney.org/Eli   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Yisroel tells Chavie about his childhood in Des Plaines, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, where he was raised by parents who were still in the process of becoming more observant. Yisroel opens up about having a stutter as a child, the first time he has ever shared this publicly. He reflects on how it shaped the way he learned to speak, pause, and communicate with intention. He talks about being perceived as a mainstream Chabad yeshiva boy while internally struggling with not fitting in, and how he eventually made the radical decision to leave the regular yeshiva track and spend a year in Tiferes, a yeshiva built for beginners in Morristown, NJ. He shares how that choice changed his relationship with Judaism, Hassidic teachings, and eventually his work as a rabbi. Chavie and Yisroel then trace his unexpected path to Montreal, where he established Chabad of NDG and began working with young Jewish professionals and became known as the “Love Rabbi,” leading to matchmaking and the documentary Kosher Love. Chavie asks what led him to write The Forgiveness Experiment, and Yisroel shares the Yom Kippur Facebook post that opened his eyes to how much resentment people quietly carry, especially toward those in leadership positions. They deep dive into what it’s like to feel wronged by G-d, and what it means to move from waiting to be rescued toward becoming a co-creator in your own life.   Rabbi Yisroel Bernath is the senior rabbi of Rohr Chabad NDG in Montreal and the voice behind a growing global audience online, where he shares heart-open reflections on relationships, healing, and purpose. Known for his honest and relatable style, he brings together Jewish wisdom, Kabbalah, and real-life experience to help people navigate love, pain, and personal growth. He is the author of The Forgiveness Experiment, a #1 Amazon bestseller that explores what life could look like if we truly let go. Through his writing, podcasts, and social media, Rabbi Bernath invites people into deeper, more meaningful conversations with themselves and with each other.   This Week's PromptTell me about your fitness journey! Do you have a routine? How has your relationship with fitness evolved? This NEW segment at the end of every episode features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on the given prompt.   Referenced On the Pod 00:1:29 Chavie’s blogpost about Zeesy health journey  27:55 Tiferes Bachurim - Rabbinical College of America  51:41 - Kosher Love Documentary 1:16:46 Steven Karpman - Karpman Drama Triangle 1:16:50 - Omer Pinto  1:22:49 - David Emerald 1:59:59 Chavie’s interview with Moshe Weinbaum  2:01:05 - Chavie’s blogpost about her fitness journey  2:13:25 Walk At Home - at home workout subscription 2:19:07 Jazzercize   Stay in touch with Yisroel! www.theloverabbi.com [email protected] @montrealrabbi on Instagram @myrabbi Facebook www.forgivenessbook.org The Forgiveness Experiment - Paperback  The Forgiveness Experiment - Kindle The Forgiveness Experiment Audiobook   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Chavie and Paola open by reminiscing about how they first connected when Paola walked into Chabad of Bozeman for a Passover seder 18 years ago and instantly felt at home. Paola talks about her childhood as a first generation American, the daughter of two physicists, a Holocaust survivor father who fled to Israel before eventually founding the physics department at UCSD, and what it was like growing up in a home where intellect was everything. Paola shares how she struggled with depression as a teenager and found her way through nature and eventually yoga, which became the spirituality she hadn't known she was looking for. Chavie asks Paola to go deep on what yoga actually is beyond the physical poses, and they talk about breath, what it means to really be in your body, and Chavie opens up about her own struggles connecting to her breath. Paola then walks through three defining moments of grief and loss in her life and how each one eventually led her to Ayurveda, which has now become a central part of how she works with clients. Chavie asks Paola to use her as a live case study, and Paola maps out Chavie's Ayurvedic constitution right there in the episode.   Paola Feher holds a Master’s in Biomechanics and a Master’s in Ayurveda. She is a massage therapist and yoga therapist who started her own practice in 1997, working with chronic pain, injury rehabilitation, and injury prevention. When she is not working, Paola loves to be outside. She has an extensive garden where she grows her own fruits and vegetables in the summer and preserves them for the winter. She also loves ice climbing, skiing, mountain biking, hiking, climbing peaks, swimming, running, and practicing yoga. She shares her life with two kitties, her partner, and close friends and family she adores.   This Week's Prompt Did You Ever Experience Burnout and What Did That Feel Like? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!   Referenced On the Pod 37:11 T. K. V. Desikachar  1:59:52 Hunt Gather Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff    Stay in touch with Paola! www.bozemanhealingarts.com   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Aimee opens up to Chavie about her childhood in Lakewood, where her Holocaust survivor grandparents had a chicken farm. She shares how she became religious and didn’t go to prom because it was on a Friday night.  Aimee talks about her path through medicine, and the fertility journey that changed her life: four miscarriages in a row and the miracle twins who were born after. Aimee shares how she founded I Was Supposed To Have A Baby and explains why success isn’t always about having a baby. Aimee and Chavie talk about burnout, what happens when holding everyone else’s pain catches up with you, and how sometimes the work is learning to live with what is unfinished. Aimee Baron, MD, FAAP, is the founder and executive director of I Was Supposed to Have a Baby (IWSTHAB), an organization transforming how the Jewish community cares for people navigating fertility struggles and loss. After years of secondary infertility and multiple pregnancy losses, Dr. Baron became deeply aware of the need for better emotional, communal, and practical support for those trying to build a family. IWSTHAB provides mental health support, educational resources, digital programming, communal spaces, and connections to wider support networks for people experiencing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, termination for medical reasons, donor conception, adoption, surrogacy, and more. Dr. Baron is passionate about creating community where people in pain feel validated, comforted, and held, and where those around them know how to show up with care. She previously served as Director of Innovation and Growth at NechamaComfort and worked as an attending pediatrician in the newborn nursery and neonatal intensive care unit at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital. She lives in the New York area with her husband and children.   This Week's Prompt Are You a Home Birth Mama or Only In the Hospital Mama? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!   Referenced On the Pod 20:58 NCSY 32:53 Chabad of Binghamton 32:57 Rivkah Slonim Interview on Totally Unexpected! 36:35 Chabad of Harvard - Rabbi Hirschy & Elkie Zarchi 38:35 Chabad at Syracuse - Rabbi Yaakov & Chanie Rapoport 1:20:17 Nechama Comfort - Reva Judas, Founder & Director 1:24:15 ATIME 1:24:15 Bonei Olam 1:24:15 PUAH 1:24:15 Knafayim 2:27:14 Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin 2:28:09 Aura Rosenblatt interview on Totally Unexpected!   Stay in touch with Aimee! www.iwassupposedtohaveababy.org IWSTHAB Resource Library & Support Groups @iwassupposedtohaveababy on Instagram Talking Away The Taboo Podcast LinkedIn   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Chavie sits down with Dassi, who starts out by sharing how she was born in Iran in the middle of the Iran-Iraq war, where her mother delivered her by emergency C-section during a blackout. Dassi talks about her family's escape from Iran, her grandparents being smuggled out through the Baluchi mountains, and how her parents left behind everything they had built to start over in America with nothing. Dassi shares what it was like growing up as a Persian Jew in New Jersey, caught between two cultures, never fully belonging to either, and how that sense of not fitting in eventually led her on a spiritual quest exploring Kabbalah and Chassidus.Chavie asks about Dassi's years working as a doula and hypnobirthing educator before she was even married, attending hundreds of births and co-founding the Boston Doula Circle, and what it was like to witness so much life coming into the world before navigating her own fertility journey. Dassi opens up about six years of infertility, the pregnancy with her second daughter, and how that collided with the unraveling of her marriage. Chavie and Dassi talk about IFS therapy, energy work, and learning how to heal by listening to the body.   Dassi Zar is a mom of two, the founder of The Resilient Minded Mom, and an IFS-informed coach who helps women navigate life with clarity and self-trust. A former Shlucha in Lower Manhattan, as well as a Yoga and Pilates instructor, she brings both depth and lived experience to her work. She is also the owner of The 50FF Wig, a business rooted in confidence and accessibility. Having moved through her own seasons of challenge and growth, Dassi is deeply committed to authenticity, truth-seeking, and ultimately helping women come home to themselves.   This Week's Prompt Jewish Books vs Non Jewish Books - Where Do You Draw the Line? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!   Referenced On the Pod 15:46 HIAS Org (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society) https://hias.org/ 21:10 The Ben Ish Chai https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yosef_Hayyim 37:33 Machon Chana https://www.machonchana.org/ 47:53 Moshe weinbaum ep https://open.spotify.com/episode/02tJfMvr9wlnI5tDfZ49Fc?si=wXFBiu-NTHGo_Q1dZJukqw 1:21:00 IFS: Internal Family Systems https://ifs-institute.com/ 1:26:25 Eckhart Tolle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle   Stay in touch with Dassi! @bowerymama on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bowerymama/ @the50ffwig on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the50ffwig/   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Chavie sits down with her long-distance book buddy Elin for a special episode where they review their book buddy picks but first, Elin shares what it was like growing up in Sweden, the extreme swings between dark winters and sun-filled summers, the way catching sunlight becomes a cultural priority, and how hygge isn't just a trend there but a way of survival. Elin talks about the meet-cute way she and her husband had at Ascent in Tzfat and how they ended up living and working in Kenya at the height of the HIV crisis. Chavie asks about what parenting looked like while living abroad and moving back and forth between countries. Elin talks about the devastating loss of her brother-in-law and his wife, how her niece became a permanent member of their family, and the foster care advocacy work that she is now involved with. In the second half of this conversation, Chavie and Elin go through their book buddy picks, what they loved and what they didn’t, and how reading the same books and talking about them ends up being a way of getting to know someone more deeply than you normally would.   Elin Cohen grew up in Stockholm, Sweden, and lives with her family in San Francisco, California. She holds a JSD (PhD in Law) from Stanford University and works in international economic development, supporting the design and implementation of U.S. government foreign assistance programs.  She very much enjoys being at home in beautiful San Francisco with her family and friends, and she also feels fortunate to travel extensively for work, to visit family, and for fun and adventures. Elin is a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer for youth in foster care and she is also an avid reader. She and Chavie are book buddies and frequently chat about the books they are reading together, as well as the many reflections those books spark in relation to their own lives, experiences and perspectives.   This Week's Prompt Bar Mitzvah Culture Is Out of Hand: Yes or No? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!     Referenced On the Pod 30:46 – Ascent Institute  1:09:19 – National CASA Program  A full list of Chavie and Elin’s book buddy picks, along with the book podcasts mentioned will be available on www.totallyunexpected.blog.   Stay in touch with Elin! @elin.cohen on Instagram   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

In this episode, Chavie sits down with her producer, Elie Benhiyoun, to break down what a day in the life of Chavie Bruk looks like. She walks through a recent Friday, from the moment she wakes up already feeling overwhelmed to the moment she gets into bed with a book after the last Shabbos guest leaves. She opens up about her morning routine, and how she has learned over the years to protect the things that keep her going, including exercise, a proper lunch, and therapy, even on the busiest days. Chavie breaks down her post-treadmill protein shake situation, her gluten-free bagel with lox that she somehow managed to sit down for in the middle of cooking for 70 people, and the secret hummus recipe that has become a staple of her Shabbos table. She shares what came up in her therapy session that Friday, tracing her discomfort with pressure and overwhelm back to her childhood as the oldest sibling on Shlichus. She then walks through the hours of cooking for 70 Shabbos guests, the constant interruptions, the mikvah construction happening steps from her house, and how she designs her schedule to avoid coming into Shabbos frazzled. Chavie also talks about what Friday night actually looks like, the women gathering in the kitchen before the meal, the dynamic she and her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk, have built at the Shabbos table, and which books she reaches for once the guests are finally gone.   This interview was published in written format for a collaboration with Valour Magazine. You can find the full interview in print format here: https://valourlifestyle.co.uk   Referenced On the Pod 3:16 Valour Magazine  23:42: Busy In Brooklyn  Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].

Chavie sits down with Rivkah Slonim — author, lecturer, and self-described Chassidic feminist — and walks through her childhood growing up in Crown Heights in close proximity to the Rebbe and Rebbetzin, with grandparents rooted in the illustrious Kapichnitz Chassidic dynasty. Rivkah shares how she came to coin the term "Chassidic feminist" and traces it back to her early years at Chabad of Binghamton, where she was confronted with the widespread assumption that Chassidic women are oppressed, and found herself doing the research to answer questions she had never quite asked before. Chavie brings the hard questions she has collected from her community and her own life about women's place in Jewish law and tradition — including mikvah, taharat hamishpacha, and halacha's relationship with female equality. They then dig into what it means to build a community and raise a family on Shlichus, and whether self-care is a modern invention or just an age-old value with a new name. Rivkah also shares how she came to author her most recent book, Holy Intimacy — which brings the conversation about women's pleasure and Jewish marriage into the open for the first time.   Rivkah Slonim is the Associate Director of the Rohr Chabad Center for Jewish Student Life at Binghamton University, which she co-founded with her husband, Rabbi Aaron Slonim, in 1985. A self-described Chassidic feminist, she is an internationally known lecturer and activist. She is the editor of Total Immersion: A Mikvah Anthology (Jason Aronson, 1996; Urim, 2006) and Bread and Fire: Jewish Women Find God in the Everyday, and co-author of Holy Intimacy: The Heart and Soul of Jewish Marriage with Sara Morozow. Slonim serves on the Editorial Board of the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute, sits on the executive boards of Tamim Academy and the Institute of Jewish Spirituality and Society, and is a senior lecturer at Bais Chanah Women International.   This Week's Prompt What are your favorite Pesach hacks and tips? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic!     Referenced On the Pod 2:06:39 Chavie's blogpost on Substack about her Bubby Links to Rivkah's books: Order Holy Intimacy on Amazon  Order Total Immersion on Amazon  Order Bread & Fire on Amazon   Stay in touch with Chavie!@chaviebruk on Instagramwww.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube   This episode is dedicated in honor of my dear mother, Rivky Slonim, who inspires me daily. May she continue to inspire the world in good health for many more years! - Chani Levertov   Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at [email protected].