Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing
Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing
Choose Recovery Services - Alana Gordon and Amie Woolsey
Choose to Be is about healing, growth, and choosing recovery after betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Hosts share insights on emotional healing, authentic relationships, and the journey of rebuilding trust. Learn tools for self-compassion, integrity, and trust-building as you heal from pain and reclaim hope, peace, and connection. Alana Gordon-LMFT, CCPS, CSAT candidate, Betrayal Coach Amie Woolsey-Certified Brainspotting Practioner, Martin Warner AT Somatic Interweaves for DBR, PCP, APSATS-CPC, ELI-MP, COR.E, C-DGS ChooseRecoveryServices.com | [email protected]
REPLAY: Victim to Chooser Part 2
Listen to Part 1 HERE. This week, we continue exploring the journey from victimhood toward healing, reclaiming, and becoming the chooser. After betrayal trauma, it can be difficult to trust anyone—including yourself. You may question your intuition, your decisions, your body, your memories, and even your ability to know what is healthy.In this episode, we explore the Reclaimer and Chooser stages, including:Discovering what healthy means for youSeparating yourself from your trauma, thoughts, body, and emotionsLearning to trust yourself and have your own backRecognizing that you have optionsCreating a future that isn't dictated by your traumaYou are not your trauma. You can reclaim. You can choose. You can define what healthy looks like for you.We’d love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!INTENSIVES COMING UP!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Learn more about our Bali intensive for women happening in April 2027!💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.FREE monthly workshop and 6-Week Group - Use art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 
Aug 25
53 min
REPLAY: Victim to Chooser (Part 1)
Betrayal can leave you feeling powerless.You may stop trusting your partner. You may stop trusting yourself. You may wonder what's wrong with you, blame yourself for what happened, or believe that things will never get better.But there is a difference between being victimized and remaining stuck in victimhood.You'll learn:How self-blame and shame can keep you feeling powerlessWhy “if they would just change” gives away your agencyHow boundaries can help you reclaim your powerHow to recognize your own growth, even when you don't feel healed yetWe’d love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!INTENSIVES COMING UP!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Learn more about our Bali intensive for women happening in April 2027!💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.FREE monthly workshop and 6-Week Group - Use art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 
Aug 18
43 min
When Healing Becomes Hiding: Individual Recovery vs. Relational Repair
Can recovery itself become a form of avoidance?This week, Alana Gordon explores a pattern that can quietly interfere with healing from compulsive sexual behavior and betrayal: using individual recovery work to avoid relational repair—or using couples work to avoid personal accountability.Listen in to learn how to avoid these pitfalls and gauge if your recovery work is actually healing you and your relationship.Journaling prompts for the person who acted outside their values: Am I asking for space to regulate or to escape accountability? How is my individual work helping me become more relationally available? Am I initiating repair or am I requiring my partner to still pursue me?  Can I hear my partner's experience without explaining my own first? What changes should my partner realistically expect to see from me, and am I doing that?Journaling prompts for the injured partner: Is this space creating stability or prolonged uncertainty?  Is my partner returning when they say they will? Are they initiating the repair? Am I seeing greater empathy, accountability, and engagement? Is the individual work changing behavior or are they only explaining it? What do I need to do in order to remain emotionally safe? LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed: FREE monthly workshop or 6-Week GroupRevive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 
Aug 11
31 min
How Rejection Wounds Disrupt Betrayal Recovery
Betrayal doesn't just break trust—it can completely reshape how you experience rejection.In this conversation, Amie and Alana unpack why rejection sensitivity becomes so intense after betrayal trauma, how comparison steals peace, and why rebuilding self-trust is one of the most important parts of healing.You'll learn:Why betrayal attacks your sense of worthHow rejection becomes stored in the nervous systemHow to rebuild self-trust after betrayalWhy healing isn't about avoiding rejection—but refusing to abandon yourselfChapters03:08 Personal Story of Shattered Self-Worth10:33 Rejection Before and After Discovery13:46 Comparison and Hypervigilance18:07 Self-Objectification25:40 Rebuilding Self-Trust and SafetyWe’d love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Aug 4
35 min
Why Rejection Sensitivity Is So Common In Addiction & Compulsive Sexual Behaviors
Rejection sensitivity can quietly shape addiction, relationships, and recovery.In this episode, we discuss why individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behavior often experience intense fear of rejection—not as an excuse for harmful choices, but as an invitation to deeper healing.You'll learn:Why rejection sensitivity developsHow shame reinforces addictive cyclesWhy recovery requires emotional resilienceThe difference between accountability and identityPractical ways to build emotional capacity and secure attachmentHealing isn't about becoming rejection-proof—it's about learning to experience discomfort without escaping it.Chapters02:48 Rejection as a Symptom 04:03 Childhood Roots07:32 Neurodivergence09:15 Addiction as Escape11:35 Secrecy and Shame Loop15:58 Identity vs Behavior19:13 Emotional Immaturity22:49 How to Heal RejectionWe’d love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 
Jul 28
31 min
The Impact Letter: Grieving, Healing, and Finding Your Voice After Betrayal
Writing an impact letter can feel overwhelming, emotional, and even re-traumatizing.So why do it?Amie and Alana unpack the purpose behind this powerful recovery tool, explain how it fits into therapeutic disclosure, and discuss why the greatest healing often comes from validating your own experience—not trying to convince your partner to understand.Chapters02:17 Where It Fits in Disclosure03:41 Timing and Personalization07:19 Grief and Ongoing Healing09:03 Your Story and Shared Grief16:44 Writing Makes It Real18:10 Stop Minimizing20:55 Write For You, Not ThemWe’d love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.Get our FREE eBook - Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 
Jul 21
30 min
Will I Ever Heal From Betrayal Trauma? (REPLAY)
It's one of the most common—and heartbreaking—questions after betrayal trauma.This week Amie and Alana discuss what healing actually looks like after betrayal trauma, why recovery often feels painfully slow, and the practices that truly help. They explore support groups, self-compassion, psychoeducation, nervous system healing, somatic work, family-of-origin healing, and the obstacles that can quietly keep us stuck.Most importantly, this episode offers hope. Even if you can't see it today, healing is possible. If you're in the middle of the darkness, keep listening.Chapters01:14 Will I Ever Heal?2:00 Personal Story05:01 Darkness to Sunrise Metaphor07:47 Early Stage Healing Tools11:03 Real Self-Care Explained16:51 Psychoeducation and Roadmap21:24 What Hinders Healing25:14 Advanced Somatic Work32:15 There is HopeRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeQuestions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Jul 14
36 min
Why Accountability Feels Threatening After Betrayal
Why does accountability feel so difficult after betrayal?For many betrayed partners, the answer seems obvious: if someone truly understood the pain they caused, they would simply own it.But healing is often more complicated.This week Alana explores why accountability can feel emotionally threatening for those who have betrayed a partner—not as an excuse, but as a pathway toward understanding the barriers that prevent true repair.You'll learn:The role shame plays in defensivenessHow nervous system responses can block empathyWhy self-hatred isn’t accountabilityWhat betrayed partners should watch for when accountability never comesIf you're navigating betrayal trauma, compulsive sexual behavior recovery, or rebuilding trust after infidelity, this episode offers practical insights grounded in trauma-informed care.Chapters01:40 Why Accountability Feels Threatening03:22 Identity Death and Safety11:11 Grieving the False Self13:20 Mistakes Mean Rejection18:44 Emotional Capacity for Repair25:07 When Accountability is Missing28:25 How Betrayers Build AccountabilityRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeQuestions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 
Jul 7
34 min
Why Knowing Better Doesn't Always Mean Doing Better
Many people spend years reading books, listening to podcasts, attending therapy, and understanding addiction. Yet they still feel stuck.This week Luke and Alana explain why information alone never creates transformation—and what actually does.You'll learn:Why insight feels good but doesn’t change behaviorThe uncomfortable “growth zone”How emotional awareness rewires recoveryWhy habits matter more than motivationHow integration creates lasting healingChapters01:35 The Recovery Expert Trap02:25 Swimming Lessons05:37 Insight vs Practice07:24 Repetition11:15 Integration15:13 Systems18:46 Compassion As You Try to ChangeRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeQuestions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior- Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 
Jun 30
23 min
How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man (Part 2)
Why does an emotionally shut down man struggle to change—even when he genuinely wants to?In this follow-up episode, Luke and Alana respond to listener questions about emotional shutdown, nervous system healing, and what recovery actually looks like for men who have spent years disconnecting from their emotions.***Listen to Part 1 HERE.***Together they explore:Why insight alone doesn't create changeWhat emotional shutdown is really protectingHow attachment wounds shape adult relationshipsWhy some men become more emotional after starting recoveryWhat somatic work actually isHow nervous system healing creates lasting transformationWhat emotional reconnection looks like in real lifeChapters01:23 Why Insight Isn’t Enough07:40 What Shutdown Protects11:50 Control and Safety16:20 Predictability Over Vulnerability20:10 Reconnecting Emotionally28:53 Somatic Work Explained30:14 Healing Takes TimeRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW GroupsMaking Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeQuestions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected]. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.
Jun 23
33 min
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