Do you frequently experience an itching or burning sensation? Is discomfort in your posterior region a regular occurrence? Do you have night terrors involving killer clowns & bed-wetting that may have led to a divorce? Trix Pads™ with cooling Katyamine lotion are here to save your marriage, ease your discomfort, and soothe that burning ass. Side effects may include chronic perspiration, sudden-onset bilingualism, and the sprouting of a superfluous third nipple. Happy Pride, Everyone!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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• To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com

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