Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:Celebrate Incremental ImprovementWrite Happy EndingsIgnore Your NervesHere is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here.For Coaches! 2 Resources!1.  Coaching Stories Podcast2.  Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given!Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here.Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin.This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:Managing YourselfNervousnessSelf-TalkFive episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: Act “As If”Choosing PersistenceConquering FearThe Executive ImpostorThe Many Parts of YouGrab a free transcript of the episode here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try. Be in touch with Tom here.Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership. G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here.This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:For WomenManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: 188 Boundaries165 The Conflict Conversation220 Holding Boundaries219 How to Set Boundaries116 Speaking Your Truth Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:AssertivenessFeedbackManagement SkillsFive episodes you might listen to are:#47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors#18 Holding People Accountable#138 Managing Disruptive Executives#127 Managing Performance: Up or Out#65 Sorting & LabelingA free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!#podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges  #behaviormanagement  #leadershiptips   #leadershipdevelopment  

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.” Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself.Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here.Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:The Disruptive Executive – Part OneThe Disruptive Executive – Part TwoDon’t Take It PersonallyHandling Defensive BehaviorsThe High-Maintenance ExecutiveLooking for a transcript of the show? Download it here.Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership. Happy, healthy, safe new year!

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show?  Read it here.More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:For WomenPerception – how you perceive othersRelationship BuildingHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:188 - Boundaries210 - How to grow your self-management67 - “I hate politics”142 - The Mindful Executive121 - Your Goodwill Bank AccountOur monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Let us know how we can support you.Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do? Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:Self-TalkLeadershipFor WomenHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:187 - Agreeable Disagreement215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire192 - Pursuing a Promotion207 - Tough Conversations67 - “I Hate Politics”Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.JAPAN!Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.comLet us know how we can support you.Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership,  be well! And thanks! 

A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause.Tools for teams abound in this episode. The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea;Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people;Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you;Develop your comfort with disagreement.The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling.Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsManagement SkillsSpecific episodes that will help you develop your team are:Facilitating Open DialogueHow Teams FightLeadership Behavior in MeetingsPower Tools for Teams: Plus/DeltaQuestions as LeadershipTaming Meetings Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show.Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!#podcast #TeamDecisionMaking #Teamwork #Leadership #ConsensusBuilding    #EffectiveTeams  #TeamCommunication #TeamLeadership   

A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid.The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better.The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online. Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsManaging YourselfRelationship BuildingFive episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are:ConflictThe Conflict ConversationCreating Safety for Hard TalksA Difficult ConversationResolving ConflictEvery month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show!Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks! 

A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most. This episode identified seven essential leadership skills:Conquer catastrophic thinking;Use fewer words;Value relationships as highly as results;Don’t take anything personally;Commitment to Development;Reflection;Speak for Yourself.Resources to develop those last three:Commitment to DevelopmentThe Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skillsFour Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills thenschel@essentialcomm.com – my email address if you want help thinking about your own developmentThe Ability to ReflectMindfulness ResourcesBuilding Self-AwarenessSpeak for YourselfThe Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word”Episodes to build assertion:Showing TeethThe Voice of AuthorityAssertion v Aggression This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories:Executive PresenceLeadershipSelf-TalkFive episodes to help you with different skills are:Building Empathy“Don’t Take Anything Personally”The Executive ExecutivePersonal ConnectionsShort Sounds ConfidentOur monthly email has links to more resources. You can sign up here.All our infographics are available to you for free in the Essential Tools bin.Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.  To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:Communication SkillsManagement Skills Relationship BuildingFive specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:7 Steps to Stop Emotional HijacksBe Impeccable with Your Word Handling Defensive BehaviorsManaging Bad BehaviorManaging Disruptive ExecutivesSign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode.Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here.    Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at tom@essentialcomm.com.All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.