But Not All At Once
But Not All At Once
Anne Smith
Every last woman, even the glossy picture of perfection who intimidates you to bits, has a story that would stun you. It's time we hear it. Let's discuss it all, learn it all, figure it all out - but not all at once.
Harry, Meghan & A Million Headlines
Welcome to 2023 and a metric ton of royal updates, flip-flopping opinions and journalistic analysis. Recently, royal-watching has been both a sociological study and a Rorschach test; what we see reveals much about us.If you haven't heard the in-depth walk-through of H&M's first three docuseries episodes, listen to The Doc Without Drama before pressing play here. (BTW, an additional 100-minute royal rundown will be live tomorrow on Patreon as thanks for subscribing!) I intended this to be a streamlined chat, but it's far less cohesive than a typical episode. And to be fair, if we were gathered in person with something to sip and snack on, the word count could have doubled easily. There's just so much to unpack. Come back next week for a breakdown of Spare; the publicity gaffes that shifted my opinions; the next steps I'd advise, were H&M my clients; and how the most intense scrutiny since Diana's death may impact the monarchy itself and the family inside it. Recent news stories mentioned:Lady Susan Hussey's bias, resignation & horrendous hostessing; her apologyPrince Harry's "kill number" & hopes of suicide preventionJeremy Clarkson's disgusting columnRoyal family silent about Clarkson's vitriolDisgraced Prince Andrew's security still paid for by familyAndrew included in family's annual Christmas strollHarry is first royal to reference his uncle's "shameful scandal"Meghan given 30-point "how to be a princess" dossier pre-weddingRoyal episodes to explore:Don't Call It A Megxit (January 2020)HRH No More: Sussexit’s Conclusion (January 2020)Megs & Haz Take Hollywood (April 2020)Finding Freedom: A Sussexit Book Report (August 2020)A Royal Rundown: What Comes Next (February 2021)Oprah, Harry, Meghan & Media Madness (March 2021)"Lili? But...": A  Baby's Name & a Brouhaha (June 2021)Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Jan 11, 2023
1 hr 32 min
Harry & Meghan: The Documentary Without Drama?
After a sabbatical, we're back with a quick-turnaround episode dissecting the first three episodes of the Sussexes' Netflix documentary. Come back next week for a breakdown of the final three!We mix in a bit of history, context, caveats and perspective, but I anticipate a third episode will come post-documentary where we dive into the Queen's death and funeral; who's gotten new titles; who didn't inherit the ones they were promised; who's in danger of losing theirs; what King Charles' coronation could kick off; how Icky Andrew has been doing; and if Harry's memoir release next month will rock the monarchy or be more of the same.Thanks for your patience, kindness, check-ins, conversations and constant presence in my life even when we're not sharing these conversations every week. Excited to be back and chatting with you again! (So long as no one else tells me I'm sending people to hell or that my children deserve pity for having me as a mother. I touch on that story today and we'll explore a bit more later.)Whether you agree with my royal ramblings or not, I welcome all pleasant and sane messages. Find me at butnotallatonce.com or @butnotallatonce. xoxoOther royal episodes to explore:Don't Call It A Megxit (January 2020)HRH No More: Sussexit’s Conclusion (January 2020)Megs & Haz Take Hollywood (April 2020)Finding Freedom: A Sussexit Book Report (August 2020)A Royal Rundown: What Comes Next (February 2021)Oprah, Harry, Meghan & Media Madness (March 2021)"Lili? But...": A  Baby's Name & a Brouhaha (June 2021)Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Dec 9, 2022
2 hr 4 min
The Birds & The Bees
Nothing about growing up is easy, whether you have kids or not. To be candid, my four children have done nothing but make clear how NOT grown up or prepared I am for the realities of life with children in 2022.Today, Meg and Mary Flo of Birds & Bees are here to save us. And maybe our sanity and a whole lot of face while they're at it!Every part of parenthood requires a deep bench and lots of backup. Today, I hope you'll hear how many folks are in your corner. Whether it's learning to label "vulva" with the same calm countenance as "elbow," your backup has arrived.If you're ready for a deeper bench, word-for-word scripts, and even more help in talking to your kids about their weird, amazing bodies and the wild world of procreation, Meg and Mary Flo are offering But Not All At Once listeners a discount! Use BUTNOT20 as a discount code to receive 20% off their online course for parents of kids up to 10 years old. The aim is to get ahead of these topics, establish yourself as an expert, and have many small conversations with your children instead of one awkward big one. We're getting rid of "The Talk" and invite you to join us in a "But Not All At Once" approach to the birds and the bees!Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Aug 24, 2022
1 hr 25 min
Where We Are & Where I’ve Been
There aren’t words for today, just loosely connected thoughts and a deep, aching well of feelings. If you need a friend’s voice right now, here’s one. 💗This episode was released earlier today on Patreon. Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
May 25, 2022
23 min
Spring Break for Grown-Ups
Do women have hobbies? Do grown-ups know how to blow off steam? Is it possible to relax while both doing and NOT doing something?Let's dive in to what spring break could look like for grown-ups. Come back later this week for a meatier interview; in the meantime, let's imagine we've rented the largest beach house known to mankind and dedicated each room to a different fantastic activity. (Yes, napping is an activity.)I can't wait to hear what the perfect solo spring break would look like for you? (Solo meaning no partner, no kids, no pets, no mortgages, no responsibilities. Just you, maybe some like-minded ladies, and oodles of the snacks of your choice.)xoxo,A.Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Apr 4, 2022
1 hr 6 min
We Were On. A. Break! Let's Pick Up Where We Left Off...
It wasn't an announced break, but we WERE on a break - and now it's over. Delighted to catch back up with you about how I've been, how you've been, how the world has been (eep), what the royals are up to, and what we can expect in the months ahead.Have missed you, friends! Episodes mentioned:Margot Guy's Long Road to MotherhoodOprah's Sussex InterviewThe update to Margot's episode will be available on Patreon early next month! If you'd like to participate in the "Postcards as Pick-Me-Ups" project, keep your eyes on my Instagram. Can't wait to send them everywhere!! xoxoThanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Mar 11, 2022
46 min
Hope is Worth the Wait with Megan Scherer
In the midst of a challenging season (say, facing your high school sweetheart's metastatic cancer diagnosis), it can be hard to see anything beyond the moment ahead. Envisioning the future, or even making it through the next step, can seem downright impossible.Megan Scherer knows that feeling well, and her family has used it to change the lives of others'. The Scherers' charity, Worth the Wait, provides emotional and financial support for cancer patients hoping to preserve their fertility or, once their health allows, grow their families through IUI, IVF, surrogacy or adoption.A single question from a doctor led Megan's husband to bank his sperm and leave the Scherers' options open post-cancer. Even so, it took seven IUIs and countless prayers before they were able to meet their miracle baby, Elliott. Though their initial hope had been to have a second baby, Megan says that isn't in the cards - and counsels friends, family, and curious fellow parents not to pry into others' family-planning. The Scherers' story is one of healing, hope, and offering the same to others. You can support Worth the Wait here and learn more about its work on Instagram.To support this podcast, visit our Patreon. If you'd like to subscribe to our forthcoming e-newsletter (think: royal gossip; is Jamie Lynn Spears a villain or a victim; what's your winning Wordle strategy; and how many times do people need to post their scores before they feel good about their puzzle-solving skillz?), visit ButNotAllAtOnce.com and drop your email address in the pop-up box.Chat with you soon! xo, AThanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Feb 2, 2022
1 hr 7 min
Bonus Episode: What Makes a Hot Mess and Is Grief Really Gratitude?
Here's an extra chat for you this week based on a through-line in my conversations this week. My colleagues and friends (and I) seem to be feeling, thinking, crying over, looking like and worrying about things that may resonate with you too. Listen first, and then have a cookie. Take a nap. Send someone else a chicken pot pie. Ask for a break. Cry all the tears. Punch some pillows. Give yourself a sanity walk. DM me. Allow yourself to be an unkempt, actual hot mess - not an Instagram one. Or put on makeup and fluff your hair if that helps you! Just cope as you can.Grief can be a form of worship. At its heart, I believe, grief is gratitude - and right now we're all grieving something. Let's not do it alone.xoxo,Anne, who's tryingThanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Jan 13, 2022
44 min
An Update and A Metric Ton of Inspiration with Meredith Jaggard
 In April 2019, Meredith Jaggard was fearless enough to join But Not All At Once as our first-ever guest. The podcast was just a concept then, and by pouring out her heart and her story, Meredith started it with a bang. Now she's back for more. Today we talk about the lives her words changed, an obituary I had to write, pandemic weight gain, modern marriage, and uprooting your whole life a second time to build a new one.Learn how she moved (again!) and continued to battle MS during Covid; how "newborn" Ellie is doing; what quarantine was like in a 900 square foot apartment in a new city; her reaction to her husband being asked if MS makes Meredith a "burden"; and what she thinks about your post-Covid beach body. This conversation was an absolute delight. Hopefully I muted all my typing as I furiously recorded her every quotable line! I also muted a few "adult" words - not because she didn't deserve to say them, or because I don't agree with her, but because I know you're probably used to playing our chats in carline.Since we recorded this conversation last summer for Patreon, Meredith has an even newer title: Executive Director for the UC Hastings Alumni Association at UC Hastings Law.  She also just began a doctoral program at (the West Coast) USC yesterday. No, I don't know how she juggles it all - but her honesty about things will reassure you that she's one of us. Who's starting the Meredith Jaggard Admiration Society, and do you need a president? (Start by finding her on Instagram as @meredithjaggard.)Other upcoming and returning guests, you'll hear mentioned:Mamie Morgan, who just got a book deal and made us all cryKim Jamieson Crafton, a newlywed who owes us an update after her "singleness" episodeMarquin Campbell, an artist whose family adventured in Spain through Covid Margot Guy, whose long road to motherhood has a new and happy chapterThanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Jan 12, 2022
1 hr 5 min
Living Out A Sister's Legacy with Liz Fisher: Part Two
Brooke Turner's story may be But Not All At Once's most downloaded episode ever - and for good reason. Describing herself as a "student of hope" despite unexpected widowhood and terminal cancer, Brooke shared words I revisit whenever I need a little perspective and a few hours with a friend.Today Brooke's sister, Liz, finishes her story with an update on the grieving, healing, joy-filled Turner/Fisher family of eight. She and her husband now have six children from third to sixth grades, and their life is as hectic and wonderful as it sounds. This week we pick up just before Brooke's passing and six weeks before the kick-off of Covid.If you're a Patreon subscriber, be sure your email address is up-to-date in your subscription! Later this month we'll launch an e-newsletter to chat about the awkward, insightful, intimate, or downright embarrassing stories too personal to share on the podcast at large. Plus book and movie recommendations, the best advice we never took, what we wish we could say to our younger selves and more.Patreon listeners will also hear updates this winter from beloved former guests April Robson, whom many of us have kept close to our hearts in recent months, and Margot Guy, whose long journey to motherhood has a delightful new chapter to share! Thanks for checking in over the podcast's holiday break; I'm excited to be back. See y'all here next week and on Instagram until then! xoxoThanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.
Jan 5, 2022
1 hr 25 min
Load more