Dear podcast diary, At least one of us is using this medium as a place to put all our feelings and thoughts about everything, like Kid Rock's new terrible songs, useless but impressive sports skills, and our favorite puppets. But that doesn't mean we know what episode number this is! Love you like a sister! Suggested talking points: Detroit Shlock Shitty, Can't Suck Up Front, My Son, The Sock Puppet, The Lola Bunny Donut Can't Be Real Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

We’ve got company coming over to talk about pizza mascots, so it’s super important we get everything done TONIGHT. We gotta fit it all in: figuring out why Pitbull never got into crypto, special pumpkin carving projects, and crafting home-spun armor. Suggsted Talking Points: Pitbull Worldwide, Esq., I’m An Actual Dog, Store is Square Space, Crocheted Crotch Guard Jordan Keyes: https://www.youtube.com/@itskeyes Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

Today we’ll be your Funcierge, here to guide you through our entertainment show experience! It’s not quite a game show, but we do have a number of thrilling challenges for you to enjoy, like playing big connect four, trying to explain what you do for a living to strangers, and naming literally any historical event at all! Suggested Talking Points: World Record in Elephant Toothpaste, YouTuber Ocean’s Eleven, One-Man Couples Costume, Thirty Travises or One Thirty-Times Travis Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

We’re finally transforming from Talk-Boys into Talk MEN! That means we can finally get ads from the downstairs razor company and answer all your questions about big boy topics! Like pissing yourself in a race car, counting eggs, and the classic movie monster Lil’ Pinhead. Suggested talking points: Quantum Mandela, We're Not a Chess Family, I'm Not as Egg-Resistant as Gaston, It's Always Mouth Stuff with Griffin, Unlicensed Scaring Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

Here on MBMBaM we’re always looking for little ways to improve your life, like shot-putting children, building castles on steak, or easily acquiring a lifetime supply of money. Also this episode is our living will, so note that down. Suggested talking points: Lick the Walls You Dirty Dogs, The Big Sticky Mess ™, I Wanna Trunch, Adults Are Off Nuggs Midwest Food Bank: https://midwestfoodbank.org/disaster-relief/

It’s time we started taking things seriously over here, which is why we’re digging into hard-hitting topics like using restaurants as banks, the dangers of complimenting someone’s pizza oven, and Griffin’s unexpected retirement from elite sports. We’re also bringing a brand new innovation to fashion: a t-shirt that looks like a guy wearing a t-shirt. Suggested talking points: Love-Based Fantasy Violence, BW3s is a Temple, Crepes Pizza, The Best Stinkiest Leaves, Eiffel of Tears, Not Gonna Make You Let Me Feel Bad Midwest Food Bank: https://midwestfoodbank.org/disaster-relief/

Worried about staying up on all the hot trends this Fall? We’ve got you covered! This year it’s all about Italian spice lattes, watching the latest sexy hockey rom-com starring Martha Stewart, footprints in the sand metaphors, and collecting all the rare saxophone variants! Suggested talking points: Outsider Trading, Biggs-ing it Up, Richard Drive-Us, Sax The Energy, Bible Beach Episode Midwest Food Bank: https://midwestfoodbank.org/disaster-relief/

We’re bringing some real sleepover energy, so kick up your feet and join us as we discuss: what’s your favorite dinosaur? Who’s the most Griffin-looking muppet? And what would you rather get in a Burger King meal, Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Goku, or a paper crown that actually fits your head? Suggested talking points: Aesop’s Power Rankings, Elite Pokemon Series for Only Grandpas, 20 Pictures of Lew Zealand, Cool Cars to Drive Away In, Old Lizard History, Munch Your Body, Over 9000 Nuggets Midwest Food Bank: https://midwestfoodbank.org/disaster-relief/

Take it from us, some dads – sometimes you need Dad Topics at the ready. If you ever encounter a Dad Conversation in the wild, try talking about fried pies, or the latest superhero-adjacent prestige television drama! If all else fails, you can always fall back on legally distinct tequilas. Suggested talking points: Sometimes Magic is Stinky, Friday Night Lights Nights, Plato's Dong Shot, The Competence Divot Midwest Food Bank: https://midwestfoodbank.org/disaster-relief/

The spooky season creep is upon us and and to get into the spirit of it all, we’re opening our very own temporary store! We’ve got all kinds of stuff that will help with exorcisms, like shoes that turn into socks, a Lacey Chabert Mobile, and shareholder blind bags. Suggested talking points: A Cooler Executive, The Bad Boys of Mall Gifts, Looks Like a Sock, Eats Like a Shoe, Too Weak for the King Native Women Lead: https://www.nativewomenlead.org/