Every relationship has its problems and disagreements are a normal part of them. The secret resides in the ability to talk about the hurt in a vulnerable way.
Attachment injuries occur when the injured person cannot trust the other to be there for them anymore. When they talk about the injury, the one who has hurt the other justifies their action and minimizes the other person's feelings. The one who felt hurt might also focus on attacking the other instead of communicating the hurt from a point of vulnerability. Every time they talk about the problem, the victim feels injured again and the hurt grows thus creating more disconnection and resentment.
Sep 13, 2022
18 min
Couples become disconnected when they do not share what they feel. They might not be in touch with their emotions or be afraid of expressing them. Many times they act upon their emotions instead of making them clear. In this video podcast, we talk about the importance of being vulnerable. When we reveal our emotions to each other in a vulnerable way, we bring our partner closer and we feel more connected.
Aug 27, 2022
21 min
When couples cannot get along, they come up with explanations for their distress. They tell themselves stories about themselves, their partners, and the relationship. They might say that they did not have enough time to know each other, they are too different, or they are beyond repair. They build negative cases against each other to understand why they are so disconnected. These stories fuel their disconnection and cause more suffering.
Aug 18, 2022
17 min
The pursuer feels disconnected from the withdrawer and points out the problem. The withdrawer says there is no problem when the disconnection seems so obvious to the pursuer. The pursuer feels dismissed and ignored and becomes louder to get the attention of the withdrawer who feels attacked and shuts down. The withdrawer may also get mad and explode. As they keep on fighting for their relationship, they feel increasingly hopeless.
Aug 7, 2022
26 min
Human beings are social by nature. Our brain is designed for connection and from the moment we are born we seek proximity to others. Connection with a loved one makes us feel strong and secure. Our brain works at an optimal level, and we become curious and creative. We are more courageous, and the challenges of life seem less threatening. Like a child who explores the world certain that their parents are there for them, we tackle our duties with the confidence that our soul mate has our back.
Jul 29, 2022
20 min