Today on the dHarmic Evolution podcast, we’ll be discussing the rampant and ever-growing problem that’s divorce.
My guest is a certified life coach, and author who helps men and women get through the many obstacles in their lives, her passion is to help people take back control of their lives after a breakup or divorce.
So, ladies and gentlemen, joining us on the show today is my dear friend and author of the book “Piecing Your Heart Back Together”, Carmen Silvestro.
[10:15] The healing process
[16:38] First client for Carmen
[18:58] Favourite kind of clients and subjects for Carmen
[25:10] The joy of helping a client!
[27:16] Yoga Journey
[31:08] Carmen’s hope for her book’s effect
[36:44] A present from Carmen to you, dear listener
[37:40] Carmen’s Parting advice to you
[3:03] Carmen’s life experience and journey towards her destiny
When it rains, it pours. That was the situation in Carmen’s life 12 years ago. She had just lost her little brother, who had succumbed to his addiction when she also found out that her husband, the love of her life, best friend and partner for 17 years was contemplating leaving her for another woman. That’s the day her world collapsed.
After weeks of drowning in her thoughts, tears and emotions, Carmen was a total wreck! Barely able to see due to her swollen eyes, she walked up to the bathroom mirror, and for the first time, really looked at herself.
Carmen was shocked to see the person staring back at her. She didn’t recognize who that person was. It was in that moment while still staring at the reflection of her frail and broken body, that Carmen knew she had to make a choice. She could either keep walking the path she was on, wounded, broken, hopeless, and constantly feeling sorry for herself, or she could get up and fight, and in the process, learn whatever lesson life was trying to teach her through these experiences.
Needless to say, she picked the latter. She decided to be strong and fight. In the process, she admits she’s backslid a couple of times, made a lot of mistakes and always learned from them. Healing isn’t linear, Carmen had her ups and downs in the process, but she always got back up.
She attributes part of her healing success to the amazing support she received from friends and family who were always there for her.
[12:35] Changing Career Paths
After the divorce with her first husband and the heartbreak afterwards, Carmen found herself gravitating towards individuals who were going through an experience similar to hers. She was more than happy to be a lighthouse and guide them to safe harbour to the best of her abilities.
Later on, Carmen was lucky enough to remarry and was blessed with a baby boy. She quit her job to focus on raising her son, and when he was old enough to go to school, it was time for Carmen to find a job. A couple of interviews later, Carmen had secured herself a really great offer to work at a local company.
But, something didn’t feel right. She had this terrible feeling in her stomach, until it finally clicked to her, she was meant to be a servant, a heart servant. And there was no way she was going back to the corporate world.
After having her ‘’ahuh’’ moment, Carmen totally submerged herself in the field. She started taking classes and reading tons of books; divorce books, self-help books, books about heartbreak etc.
[19:58] How does one piece their heart back together?
Take the time. Take the time and go through your grief, go through your emotions, don’t try to run away.
And, as difficult as it is to understand it at the moment, there’s always a silver lining in such situations. It is an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself, an opportunity to rewrite your whole life. Peel layers off yourself and get to know more about who you are, and that, that is priceless.
[33:38] Carmen’s thoughts on Divorce
A lot of people don’t take the time to know themselves, and they go into relationships, just hoping that it will work out, but then again, they end up finding themselves in a marriage with someone that they don’t really mesh well with. And how could they? When they don’t even know who they really are.
And then there’s the others. They go into relationship’s for all the wrong reasons. Some have the fairy tale idea in their heads, that it’s all going to be like in the movies, that it’s all going to be perfect. And when it’s not, they just want to bolt.
[6:48] There’s a lesson behind everything, everyone we meet is for a purpose
[20:14] And, as difficult as it is to understand it at the moment, there’s always a silver lining in such situations (heartbreak, divorce, failure, depression etc). It is an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself, an opportunity to rewrite your whole life. Peel layers off yourself and get to know more about who you are, and that, that is priceless.
[27:18] Yoga is meditation for your body