SOLO SHOW

Interviewed for the positive parenting conference by Sumitha Bhandarkar from afineparent.com and she wanted to interview me about my book – fun to remember that I wrote a book!

Deep dove into the three Bs.

Then last night I had my first of 6 live parenting classes here in Bellingham.

Being vs doing

Theory, belonging and significance

Power of perceptions

Humans are social beings – everything in the context of relationship

Iceberg

• why is it important to keep in mind?
• HALT
• Problem we see is a solution/response to a problem we don’t know about
• Mistaken beliefs about self/others/world
• Why is it hard to remember to consider the iceberg?
• BECAUSE WE ARE USUALLY PISSED ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE TIP!!

WE HAVE OUR OWN ICEBERGS!!

At the tip of our iceberg is our emotional/instinctive response to the behavior we are seeing right?

And what is under the surface?????

• HALT!!
• Feelings of defeat and beat up about mistakes we made…
• Conditioning/baggage from our own experiences

Ahhhhh – so many icebergs!!

So we are wired to connect…. And remember what Dan and Tina shared in EPS 215 --- the four s’s – seen, safe, soothed, secure. THIS IS WHAT OUR KIDS NEED, and isn’t it what we need too?

• We get to learn to offer this up to ourselves

Back to the three Bs – this is one tool to support us in creating the four S’s for ourselves, so that we can then offer them up for our kids – show up better, attuned, connected, loving.

Lets play with the 3 Bs…. I am going to guide you through them, while also explaining deeper the purpose and power of each B….

Breath

The breath is an tool that directly effects the nervous system – and when we are in fight or flight, you can bet our nervous system is working overtime -rapid heart beat, tension, we are full of adrenaline…

Attending to breath allows for a settling in…. a slowing down… an opening….

Body

Riding the breath into the body in search of any leftover tension…. Allow the breath to soften the body, the small muscles in the face, the neck, the shoulders….

We want to soften the body, open the body so that we can soften and open the mind….

Balcony

Once you feel yourself soften, find your balcony seat, imagine that you can lift up and out of your body and look down at your experience, as if you are watching a show from a balcony seat – you are accessing your outside observer. The part of yourself that is separate from your experience, knowing that you are having an experience…

From this place, this outside observer place, look at yourself through the lens of compassion, through the lens of love…. What is happening under your iceberg? Can you be a nonjudgmental observer? What happens when you get curious about your experience….?

Breath body balcony – the 3 Bs.

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