Baby Geniuses is a show for people who know stuff and people who don't know stuff, but would like to. Every week, comedian and super-genius Emily Heller and cartoonist and mastermind Lisa Hanawalt, challenge their guests to share some knowledge on any topic they want.
Hope your Independence Day made you feel really really free! On today's episode, Lisa talks about a former friend who was called out, and Emily talks about Columbo. On Chunch Chat, we hear about Kim Kardashian's 14 Freesian [sic] horses. On Wiki of the Shark Week, we don't read a Wikipedia page. We read a list page titled Top Euphemisms For "Period" By Language.
Thank you for listening to the only good podcast where the listeners are referred to as babies. Where do you keep your worms? On today's episode, Emily try to figure out where her worms should live and Lisa watches a Succession cast livestream. On Chunch Chat, Martha has some somber news. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars," a fever dream of an animated film.
We stand with the Black Lives Matter movement, and encourage our listeners to visit blacklivesmatter.com to learn more about how to actually make a difference.
We also think Baby Geniuses listeners might be inclined to donate here: gofundme.com/f/saddle-up-and-read-fundraiser
Anyways, we still made an episode of our dumb podcast. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Elizabeth Klarer, a South African alleged "contactee" and one of the first women to claim a sexual relationship with an extraterrestrial.
Have you heard the news that leaked? Tuca & Bertie are back for a second season! Our babies have become unintentional fashion trendsetters, when a celeb steps out in an outfit Lisa and Emily envisioned years ago. Also on today's episode, Emily has an encounter with a child who stepped on her flowers, and Lisa turns away some horse window shoppers. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "WWF Brawl for All," a shootfighting tournament held in the World Wrestling Federation that lasted from June 29, 1998 to August 24, 1998. Turns out there are repercussions when you let very strong people actually clobber each other.
Now that quarantine is all we know, we're getting better at this remote podcasting thing. We've been reading more and watching even more TV (imagine that!) and we'd love to share some of our picks with you! Quarantine has inspired more listeners than ever to share butt pics, so make sure to stay tuned till the rear end of the episode! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Grunge Speak, a hoax slang that made it's way into the New York Times. Harsh realm!
Hello babies!Thank you for continuing to listen to our podcast even though you most likely no longer have a commute! Let us know what you're doing while listening these days. Washing your bike? Organizing your sock drawer by color and length? On Chunch Chat, we learn about Martha's vacuum cleaner. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Bridey Murphy, purported 19th-century Irishwoman and cryptomnesia case. You might remember her from a past life!
Hello babies! We hope you and yours are healthy and handling things as well as can reasonably be expected! If you have the space, may we suggest taking up gardening? Emily grew a potato in her backyard, and she's considering growing a second. On Chunch Chat, Martha truly delivers. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Nim Chimpsky, a chimpanzee that didn't learn sign language.
Hello babies! We hope all you babies and your families are healthy out there and making the best of your quarantine time! On Chunch Chat, we find out how to socially distance, Martha Stewart style! First step - get a vintage Aston Martin! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "The Mad Pooper," the nickname given to an unidentified woman in Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States, who repeatedly defecated in public while jogging during the summer months of 2017.
Please note this episode was recorded last weekend, some things have changed since then. Look at this episode as a fun short term time capsule! On this episode, we discuss our early and somewhat unsuccessful Coronavirus stockpiling. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Long-time nuclear waste warning messages, which are are intended to deter human intrusion at nuclear waste repositories in the far future, within or above the order of magnitude of 10,000 years.
Hello babies! What is your favorite Girl Scout Cookie? Odds are, we haven't even tried it! On this week's episode, Lisa sees a tumbleweed and Emily is creeped out by purity balls, a particularly icky type of father daughter dance. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "El gran juego de la oca" (The Great Game of the Goose). Who is your favorite barber, Flequi or Rizotín?
Hello babies! We hope you had a great vertical broom day! We like live as if every day our brooms can stand on their own. On today's episode, we discuss a credit that was misattributed to Emily. Lisa is aware of the existence of the film "Horse Girl," please stop bringing it up to her. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Australia's Naughtiest Home Videos," a special that ran in Australia but was pulled from broadcast mid episode for being too naughty.
Lisa had a bad thing happen (she's ok!). Emily saw Cats (she's ok!). On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Victor Lustig, a highly skilled con artist infamous for being the man who sold the Eiffel Tower twice. He also sold a box that duplicated money.
Hello babies! Emily forced Lisa to watch The Circle, the new reality based series on Netflix. Both Lisa and Emily have recently finished watching Sex And The City. Emily went straight from this recording to a screening of Cats, so we will finally fully address that next episode. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia Page for Extreme Ironing. We dive into the controversies and the characters of the sport with the fewest wrinkles.
A very happy New Year to all you babies out there! On today's episode, we dissect Cats and we discuss Roosters with teen boy names. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Guy Goma, a man who had a bad job interview experience.
Hello babies! Happy holidays from your two favorite rowdy altos. This season, Lisa has an encounter with some celeb xmas trees. Emily pitches a visit with the Gävle Goat. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Icelandic Christmas folklore, which depicts mountain-dwelling characters and monsters who come to town during Christmas. The stories are directed at children and are used to scare them into good behavior. How fun!
It is finally winter, the greatest season to live under a blanket and binge watch a classic show you've never seen! Lisa is diving into Sex And The City for the first time and we take the opportunity to judge the characters and the actors. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Vittorio Emanuele, Prince of Naples. We try to figure out which he has more of - names or controversies!
Hello babies! Happy Turkey Week! On today's episode, Lisa rants about holiday gift guides and Emily is still interested in gardening. We read the Wikipedia page for Tempest Prognosticator. In Honor of Emily's Endorse Horse selection this week, the rest of this episode description will be written by AI: This week, it's a horse you don't even recognize. Emily finally got her next cavalry addition. We spend most of last week on horse stuff, and it seemed to get me cranky after a while. You know, not as cranky as one of our male visitors, but just a little cranky nonetheless. If I'm a pack animal, Emily's Horses are the same. Aww
Hello babies! Have you eaten all the good leftover Halloween candy yet? Do you save the better stuff for last, or eat it right away? On this episode, we discuss what we did on Hallow's Eve. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Table Manners. Get your elbows off the table and listen up!
We hope you are still enjoying the spooky season. On this episode, we discuss being a mean person, or how being a good person isn't really instinctual. On a very spooktacular Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Safety coffin," a coffin fitted with a mechanism to prevent premature burial or allow the occupant to signal that they have been buried alive.
Hello you spooky lil' babies!
We are still working on our Haloween costumes over here, so please be patient. Nature has started decorating our houses for us. Please take note of the seasonably large spider web. On this episode, Lisa and Emily attend a television awards ceremony. In big Baby Geniuses news, we have a new segment! Please enjoy Endorse Horse, or Ride the Endorse Horse, or whatever we decide to call it. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Groom of the Stool."
Hello babies! And a special hello to Matthew Broderick, who hasn't shown much remorse for his car crash in 1987, which killed a mother and daughter! On today's episode, Lisa and Emily respond to an email from a listener who wanted some life advice. Emily gives more tips on how to get rebates from the city for removing your lawn! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Serge Voronoff," a French surgeon of Russian extraction who, while working in France in the 1920s and 1930s, gained fame for his technique of grafting monkey testicle tissue on to the testicles of men for purportedly therapeutic purposes.
Hello babies! Have Emily and Lisa influenced you to adopt a dog? Let us know! Hi, Baby Geniuses producer Rob Pera here. I just adopted a lil' doggie and you should too. Feel love in your life for once! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Cassie Chadwick, the infamous name used by a Canadian woman who defrauded several U.S. banks out of $19 million dollars by claiming to be an illegitimate daughter and heiress of Andrew Carnegie. Very cool!
We are coming out on this episode as fudge truthers - When was the last time you had fudge? Does anyone other than tourists buy it? Are there people making new batches of fudge, or was all fudge made in the 80s? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Dancing Baby. No, it's not a page about when our listeners dance with excitement when we drop a new episode!
Hello babies! Congratulations on sniffing out our show. Lisa's dog Annie is practicing her nose work, and Emily just got a camera to spy on her dog Alan and devised a plan to make sure he never knows she has left the house. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Curse Tablet," one of the many ways our ancestors gave themselves lead poisoning.
And a special hello all you Raybies out there (a fan of Everybody Loves Raymond and Baby Geniuses)! Emily is neck deep in Raymond DVDs and powering through them a season at a time. On a much sadder note, Tuca & Bertie wasn't renewed for a second season by Netflix - go out there and let them know how disappointed you are! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Manneken Pis," a bronze statue of a boy peeing. Manneken Pis is the best-known symbol of the people of Brussels!
Hello babies! What permits are needed to start a backyard farm? How many bees do you need to buy? Is a rooster really necessary? This is the first episode recorded in a post "Cats" film trailer world and we need to work out our feelings. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia pages for "Trash Talk" and "Flyting." Get ready for some hyperbole and figurative language!
Thank you for sending in your #babybikes! We asked you to draw a bike from memory- no peeking- and you did it! Lisa just got back from Alaska, and she enjoyed ALL of the sights. Emily's dad is winning 2019 by taking up a new hobby - designing and making clothes! Emily is sporting a smart printed romper made by her pop. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Soucouyant, a kind of blood sucking hag in Caribbean folklore. Hags are BACK!
Hello babies! On this very special episode of Baby Geniuses, we read multiple Wikipedia pages for our world famous Wiki of the Week segment. We will start by reading the Wikipedia page for "Acoustic Kitty," a CIA project that was a uniquely bad idea. We shift gears and dive into the Wikipedia page for "JD & The Straight Shot," a blues band backed by a lot of green.
What have you been putting off in order to get your life in order? What is one quick thing you can do to organize your living space? When was the last time you thought of the film Magic Mike? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Roar (1981 film)." You'll laugh your head off (or at least part of it!)
This is the first episode we've recorded since Tuca and Bertie dropped! We address a legitimate concern regarding the show. Lisa got a new dog - a very sweet heeler mix. I'm excited for Annie to meet Emily's new dog, Alan. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Lek mating, "an aggregation of male animals gathered to engage in competitive displays, lekking, to entice visiting females which are surveying prospective partners for copulation." Sound familiar, ladies?
We hope you're enjoying Lisa's new show Tuca & Bertie, available now on Netflix! If you're a regular Baby Geniuses listener it would be foolish for you to not be at least six episodes in. Download the Netflix app and stream it at work and get caught up! On this week's episode, Lisa returns from a trip to Hong Kong and Emily does separation anxiety training with her new dog Alan. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for John Titor, a time traveling message board poster.
This is the last episode we will release before Lisa's new show Tuca & Bertie comes out on Netflix later this week! Hey, and when you watch it, don't tell us if you hate it! We don't want to know (not that there will be a chance you won't like it, as it is a perfect piece of entertainment). We plan a future segment based on Emily's new dog Alan. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Seedfeeder, an illustrator known for contributing sexually explicit drawings to Wikipedia.
Emily got a dog! His name is Alan and looks like a grumpy old man found himself in a "The Fly" type teleporter mishap situation and was mixed with an otter and maybe also a dog. Hey grumpy old dude- I hope you like pooping outside! On Chunch Chat, Lisa's horse Juniper is testing her boundaries. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Planetary mnemonic." If you need help remembering the planets in our solar system, this is the podcast for you!
Welcome to a very special episode of Adult Idiots!
Just kidding! We like to have a little April Fool's Day fun over here. Of course this is your favorite show Baby Geniuses. On this episode, we recap our favorite April Fool's pranks of yesteryear. Emily meets a hero of hers and Lisa tries to take a sexy selfie.
On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Sheela na gig," figurative carvings of naked women displaying an exaggerated vulva.
Hello babies! We hope you had a wonderful St. Patrick's Day and stayed home and watched Emily's comedy special Ice Thickeners, now on Comedy Central! Just look it up and watch it online! Also- it's the 2019 MaxFunDrive, go become a member and help support your favorite show creators! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Forty Elephants." The Forty Elephants or Forty Thieves were a 19th and 20th century all-female London crime syndicate who specialized in shoplifting. This gang was notable for its longevity and skill in avoiding police detection
Lisa is catching up with some of Emily's tv recommendations. Have you watched Outlander or Instant Hotel? Emily wins a WGA award and gives us the 411 on a Hollywood male celebrity hot spot. On Chunch Chat, we learn about Martha Stewart's new business venture. We discuss whether or not getting a horse high is wrong. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Miss Baker, a squirrel monkey astronaut/overachiever.
Happy President's Day to all you presidents out there except for the bad ones! On this episode, Emily shares her experience being sick and diving into the shows Instant Hotel and Outlander. Lisa gets an allergy test at a DIY blood testing facility. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Learned pig," a pig taught to respond to commands in such a way that it appeared to be able to answer questions by picking up cards in its mouth.
Hello babies! Thanks to Party of One music for putting their spin on our theme song! If you turn this episode on and feel like you've been transported to a different, much more adorable universe, don't worry! Same crappy universe. On this week's episode, Emily dives into the show Suits in an attempt to figure out "what Meghan Markle's deal is." We also answer some month old reader mail. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Wizard of New Zealand," a decidedly non-magical person.
Hello babies! How are your new years resolutions holding up? Probably incredibly well? On this very relatable episode, Emily visits a luxury gifting suite. Lisa is still enjoying being a horse owner. We have a follow up re: previous Wiki of the Week star Jean Calment, the world's oldest woman and possible fraudster. On this week's Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Tama (cat), a feline station manager at a Japanese train station.
If you still have some egg nog in your fridge, don't waste it! Pour yourself a glass, curl up with a loved one in front of the pile of needles that was a tree mere weeks ago, and listen to this episode! We meant to release it on Christmas Eve, but a naughty elf forgot to upload the file. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Lloyds Bank coprolite, a desiccated human dung specimen of historical importance.
Hello babies! We have some BIG NEWS for you- Lisa got a horse! Emily told some unfortunately timed jokes on James Corden. On this episode, we briefly deconstruct "Bah, Humduck! A Looney Tunes Christmas," a clearly flawed A Christmas Carol spoof that we haven't watched. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "George Tirebiter," a nationally known figure and beloved canine mascot of the University of Southern California.
Hello Babies! And a happy Cyber Monday to all! On today's ep, we take a deep dive into some of our most controversial listener submitted questions. We cover the gamut from questions about being a horse girl to which episode of Friends is the most overrated. On Chunch Chat, Martha gets political. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Bernd das Brot," a depressed bread puppet.
Everyone breathing alright out there? We recap some of the nice things that have happened since the recent midterm elections. Lisa purchased and wore an adult halloween costume to work. Emily ponders new ways to lure children to her cottage. On Chunch Chat, Lisa is considering acquiring a horse. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "List of U.S. presidential campaign slogans."
Hello you spooky babies!
Hallowe'en is upon us, much akin to a cape upon Count Dracula himself! Emily and Lisa read some quesstioonnss from Twittterrrr (please read in a scary voice). On Chunch Chat, we are haunted by the devil himself. On today's seasonally appropriate Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Witch bottle," a countermagical device used by both witches and non-witches alike. Next time you pee in a bottle, know that you're participating in a century old protection ritual!
Hello babies! Wassup all you ragtime babies! Emily got back from the Emmys and her Getty Images purse is the talk of the town! Some bad stuff has happened in our country since our last episode and we talk about that too. Lisa watched a romantic horny movie to get her mind off this month's horrors. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "J. I. Rodale," a healthy man who met an untimely end.
Hello Babies! Especially E.L. James! We hope you're listening, because we have some writing tips for you. Lisa has been catching up on some popular media, including finally reading 50 Shades of Gray and watching equally huge cultural sensation Ricki and the Flash. On Chunch Chat, we discuss Martha's new turkeys. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Skunks as pets." The big question - to de-stink or not to de-stink?
Hello babies! Make sure to check out Lisa's new book Coyote Doggirl, in stores now! She's doing some in store events, so if you're in SF or NY go catch one! On this episode- did you know Emily is on a trivia team? And she hasn't told Lisa or I about it? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Dhinga Gavar, a festival celebrated in Jodhpur, in Western Rajasthan in India. Women are encouraged to don sticks and hit men with them.
Hello babies! Don’t forget to get Lisa’s new book Coyote Doggirl at your favorite local book shop! On this episode, Lisa watches a seasonally inappropriate film for her birthday. Emily is now a subscriber to Martha Stewart Living. Stay tuned to hear her new favorite recipe that she will never make. On Chunch Chat, we learn about the queen of England’s nemesis horse. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Wikipedia Long-Term Abuse,” a list of frequent Wikipedia tricksters and scammers. We love a good prank, especially the pointless kind!
First things first: Lisa's book "Coyote Doggirl" is in stores now! If you're in Denver or Seattle, Emily is performing there in the next week or so! In this episode, Emily finally gets into summer mode by visiting a water park. Lisa and Emily discuss when is too late to get your first tattoo. On Chunch Chat, Martha breaks the silence! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Person." Get ready to question your own existence!
Singing is fun, don't you agree? We like to make playlists of our favorite songs to sing and drive around sometimes. It's August, so that means we're brainstorming our Halloween costumes. On Chunch Chat, Martha gives another young actress the cold shoulder. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mabel Stark," a cat lady from the 20s.
Hello babies! We would like to formally apologize for pronouncing geoduck wrong all this time. On this episode, Emily and Lisa talk about a chicken lady and offer tips for buying antique rugs. In other news, Emily is nominated for a certain television award that sounds somewhat like her name. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Greenland Shark," a large shark with toxic meat. Don't eat the shark!
Hello babies! Webster's Dictionary defines this episode as a rather good one. On this episode, Emily shares about her run in with a rock and roller. Lisa has a Craigslist based experience. On Chunch Chat, we learn more about Martha's Pomeranian guard goose and Sebastapol geese. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Amy Bock, the Tasmanian born confidence trickster.
New houses, same babies. Emily and Lisa are moving up in the world. Getting older has it's perks, like multiple rooms for pooping. On Chunch Chat, we learn that Martha has geese. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Joey Skaggs, an American prankster and creator of "culture jamming."
Hello, babies! On today's episode, we address some controversies, including those surrounding Emily's Friends tweet. Lisa has a sex dream about a bird. Emily reads a libertarian children's book. On Chunch Chat, Martha Stewart rides her friesian to the farmer's market. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "S. A. Andrée's Arctic Balloon Expedition of 1897." I would suggest not taking a hot air balloon to the North Pole.
Hello, babies! When was the last time you moved to a new place? Emily and Lisa are both in the thick of it. Come hear their tales of couches on curbs and packing techniques. We read the greatest listener letter ever written. Stay tuned for an especially soggy edition of Chunch Chat. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Twelve Tribes communities," affectionately known as the Yellow Deli Cult.
Emily's brother just had a baby! That's a big deal! On this episode, Emily has a pointed response to a question. Lisa learns how to sell refrigerators with potato chips. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Ming of Harlem. Next time you're walking through New York, look up! There might be tigers and alligators watching you.
Hello babies! Eat anything good lately? Lisa's dog ate her mouthguard and underwear. Emily does Zumba with two middle aged women and considers learning Spanish. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mozart and Scatology." Turns out everyone's favorite composer loved fart jokes as much as the rest of us!
Hello, babies! It's tax season, so we're doing anything to distract ourselves from filing! We're digging through various 1099s to find listener submitted questions. All your questions will finally be answered! How do you start dating again after being widowed? How do you respond to an overly complicated bro high five? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Chicken eyeglasses." Chickens used to wear stylish spectacles to protect from feather pecking and cannibalism!
Hello babies! It's the greatest time of the year - the MaxFunDrive! Make sure you sign up to become a member so you can get access to the special bonus episode! We do a march madness style bracket to help decide what celebrities belong in Terrace House: Baby Geniuses edition. On this episode we read the Wikipedia page for "Goofy," but you may know him as George G. Geef or Goofus D. Dawg. But that would be weird if you did!
Got any great travel plans? We don't! In this episode, Lisa successfully blurbs a book, Emily is still considering starting the podcast about wiping ass. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mariko Aoki phenomenon," a Japanese expression referring to an urge to defecate that is suddenly felt after entering bookstores. Scientists are clamoring to find an explanation.
We're finally catching up on all the good things we missed last year. Why didn't anyone tell Emily to watch Get Out sooner? On this episode, we let the toucan out of the bag! Lisa is creating a new show for Netflix! Tuca & Bertie stars some of the characters she's been doodling while recording Baby Geniuses. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Flatulence Humor." Humans have been laughing at our own farts for millennia. Sorry mom, it's not a "phase" I'll "grow out of."
If a baby Bojack appeared on your porch, would you take care of it? Someone made an eerily realistic Bojack doll and sold it on Etsy. We'd like for whoever bought it to come forward. Emily recorded her live album in Portland recently, she would like to say thank you to the lovely person who sent her a whole cheese pizza. On Wiki of the Week, we read the extremely on brand Wikipedia page for Each-uisge, a mythical water horse.
We hope you enjoyed the Big Game! We spent Sunday cheering for 2018 all star Phil Rosenthal. We skipped the puppy bowl and revisited that show about hypothetical bizarre animal fights. Also on this episode: a couple is inspired by our witch tattoo conversation and gets matching butt tatts! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Clamato."
I mean, hello babies! Both come off kinda condescending, right? We don’t really mean to be. In this episode, Emily considers marrying Lisa’s dog. Lisa has conflicting emotions regarding the hypothetical ceremony. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “List of Gestures,” which is awfully comprehensive.
Emily didn't get a lot of sleep last night because her neighbors fighting, so please ignore all the cold brew slurping sounds. She's hot off the heels of throwing a successful retirement party for all men. We'll explain what that is. Lisa reads a book about a sexy merman and discovers that's not really her thing. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Catalan mythology about witches." It gave us some fun tattoo ideas!
Portland, OR based babies: Come to Emily's album recording on January 20th at the Curious Comedy Theater!
Non Portland based babies: Portland is very beautiful in late January, consider visiting?
Happy new year! Maybe things will get better this year, maybe not? We will be here to scream into our hands with you either way. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Death during consensual sex." I learned the word defenestration!
We're trying something new today- a 100% Emily and Lisa episode! Emily saw the new film I, Tonya, and tells us about it. On Chunch Chat, Fernando helps Martha Stewart hang her Kugels. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Vegetable Lamb of Tartary, a legendary zoophyte of Central Asia, once believed to grow sheep as its fruit.
If we’re not supposed to pick our noses, why are our fingers *exactly* the right size to get up in there? Emily goes to West Virginia and visits a secret government bunker. We read the Wikipedia page for “The Most Unwanted Song,” a novelty song designed to incorporate musical and lyrical elements annoying to most people. We welcome Sasheer Zamata, who turned 21 while working at Disney World. On Expert Hour, we are joined by a small unnamed child who will share some animal facts.
On today’s episode, Lisa discovers a new slime teen and one of Emily’s favorite ASMR artists returns. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Agnodice,” supposedly the first female midwife or physician in ancient Athens. We welcome TV writer Chris Marcil, who has brought in some of his favorite out of print books to show off. On Expert Hour, we are joined by commercial airline pilot and weatherperson Dumb Johnson.
Hope you’re having a very spooktacular season! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Athletics at the 1904 Summer Olympics – Men's marathon.” We welcome John Early, who has some thoughts about the 2015 Meryl Streep film Ricki and the Flash. On Expert Hour, we are joined by St. Louis native Mary Merry, who is excited to share her original Super Bowl party appetizer recipes. Quite timely!
Emily has a weird, creepy experience with some curtains. Curtains aren’t supposed to do that! Lisa gets a terrible DM on Instagram. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “List of premature obituaries.” Who knew not dying could be so fun? We welcome “writer” Jess Dweck who had a particularly bad Airbnb experience. On Expert Hour, we are joined by Ricky Tarps, who gives us some creative pointers on how to eat on a budget.
Lisa is finally getting around to watching The Sopranos in its entirety, so we’re finally getting around to discussing how James Gandolfini is actually kind of hunky. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Republic of Molossia,” a micronation. We welcome musician Patty Schemel, who had an interesting mole related experience recently. On Expert Hour, we are joined by actor and environmentalist Ed Begley Jr, who teaches us a few ways to help us lead greener lives.
Maybe this is actually our five year anniversary show? I’m a little confused. Anyways, Emily celebrated a different anniversary recently by staying at the Disneyland hotel and accomplishing the impossible: eating the correct amount of edibles. Lisa recently watched The Craft (1996) and got nightmares.
It’s our five year anniversary episode! Won’t you come celebrate with us? The traditional five year anniversary gift is wood. We’re registered at iTunes, please give us a five star review and just leave us your favorite kind of wood (mahogany, birch, etc). No gross jokes please!
Hello babies! Emily is doing some shows in Texas this week! If you’re in the general vicinity of Texas make it a point to check her out and let her make you laugh! Is the brown noise real? On that note, when was the last time you laughed so hard you peed your pants? Was it this decade? Have you ever made someone pee their Levi’s? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Margaret Howe Lovatt,” a volunteer naturalist from Saint Thomas, US Virgin Islands, who took part in a NASA-funded research project in which she attempted to teach a dolphin named Peter to understand and mimic human speech. She used some unconventional methods in attempt to achieve her goal. We welcome Demi Adejuyigbe, who tells us the tale of Lincoln’s grave robbers. On Expert Hour, we are joined by brand consultant James Courtneay-Breadwich. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Demi Adejuyigbe Brad Morris
Hello babies! Have you seen Emily on tour this summer? Go do it if you live near a city! Have you bought a Ban Chunch shirt yet? Go buy one, unless you live somewhere that doesn’t have a post office. In that case, you probably have other things to worry about. On today’s episode, we struggle with impulse control. Also, we answer a difficult question from a listener. On Wiki of the Week, we read the section from the Wikipedia page for “Squatting Position,” titled, “Hunkerin’.” It was so popular it was suggested to world leaders to solve their problems! We welcome Nick Thune, who just got off tour with Emily. He has a really fun early career story about working in reality TV. On Expert Hour, we are joined by fast food refrigeration expert Tony Jacaloni-Stein.
Hello babies! First things first: Go buy a Chunch shirt and go see Emily on tour this summer! lisahanawalt.threadless.com and emilyheller.tumblr.com respectively. On today’s episode, Lisa has a frustrating online purchase experience. Also on today’s episode, Emily has a frustrating customer service experience. On Chunch Chat, Martha has been doing some garden tours and showing off Banchunch. Emily gives Lisa a Chunch themed gift. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Curse of the Colonel,” which refers to an urban legend regarding a reputed curse placed on the Japanese Kansai-based Hanshin Tigers baseball team by deceased KFC founder and mascot Colonel Harland Sanders. We welcome Zach Sherwin, who has a fun KFC connection. On Expert Hour, we are joined by professional paid protestor Winston James. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Zach Sherwin Sean Keane
Hello babies! Summer is in full effect! Emily overdid it at Disney’s California Adventure and threw up, which ranks as the third most interesting thing to do at Disney's California Adventure. Lisa has a hot take on Josh Gadd and Ed Sheeran. Can they really be as bad as we want them to be? Also on the episode, we discuss the rules of karaoke and which fictional characters (specifically animated) were the most horny-inducing. On Chunch Chat, Lisa made some Banchunch shirts! Go buy one at lisahanawalt.threadless.com . On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Lapland New Forest,” which was a Christmas-themed park that existed for a brief period in December 2008, near Ringwood, Hampshire, UK. The park really captures the disappointment that a lot of people feel during the holidays. We welcome Andrew Ti, who spends a lot of time arguing with creationists and racists online. On Expert Hour, we are joined by television superstar and author Kelsey Grammer. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Andrew Ti Jon Daly
Hello babies! And a special hello to all you fans of Frasier out there! There are at least three references to our favorite show. See if you can find them all, or if I missed any! THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS: Emily visited The Thing, an Arizona roadside attraction. If you don’t want to know what The Thing is, please fast forward. On Chunch Chat, we not only celebrate the return of Banchunch, but his victory in the Pleasure Class at the Bedford Riding Lanes Association BRLA! We’re just happy to hear that he’s alive. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Balloonfest ’86,” a 1986 event in which the United Way of Cleveland in Ohio set a world record by releasing almost one and a half million balloons. People died. We welcome Jen D’Angelo, who has great taste in media. She is a huge fan of the film “Rat Race” (2001) and TV’s “Friends.” On Expert Hour, we are joined by recent high school grad and movie buff Meghan Murphy, who has great taste in movies and unfortunate taste in older men. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Jen D'Angelo Erin Whitehead
Hello babies! On today’s episode, Emily and Lisa answer YOUR questions! That is, if you are one of the people who asked us a question via Twitter the day we recorded this episode. If you aren’t, maybe you can pretend that one of the questions they answer is your own. Use your imagination! On Chunch Chat, there is no new Chunch news. Don’t worry, it’s always darkest before the dawn. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Fartons,” confectionery sweets typical of the Valencian town of Alboraya, Spain. If anyone knows where to get some fartons in the LA area, let us know. They look incredible. We welcome Alison Leiby, who knows a bunch about crows. They are super smart, and super scary. She also talks about an experimental surgery that saved her life. On Expert Hour, we are joined by hyperprolific songwriter Barbara Dingman. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Alison Leiby Kristen Studard
Hello babies! Emily has a fantasy about telling a skater off and shares a new piece of fan art inspired jewelry. Lisa is disgusted and intrigued by a stranger/new friend. On Chunch Chat, we are now months into a Chunch drought. We have some fun consolation Martha news. On Wiki of the Week, we read the WIkipedia Page for “Virgin Boy Egg,” a delicacy from Dongyang, China. These eggs are boiled in- you guessed it - boy urine! We welcome Megan Gailey, who is a lifetime fan of the Indianapolis Colts. On Expert Hour, we are joined by Ricky Martin, a freelance self driving car programmer with great practical experience. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Megan Gailey Dan Klein
Hello babies! Emily is on tour, if you live somewhere in the US check if she’s coming to your town soon! Maybe she’ll even autograph a zine for you? Lisa is on hiatus from work so she has taken up weaving. On Chunch Chat, there is still no new Chunch news. We are suffering from the throes of Chunch withdrawal and no basket house or peafowl will feed our need. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Office Assistant,” better known as the infamous Clippy from Microsoft Office. We welcome Amy Aniobi, who shares the beautiful story of her parents’ semi-arranged marriage. I promise it is very sweet and will remind you how love is something you have to work at. On Expert Hour, we are joined by Dirke Foote, a resident of Florida. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Amy Aniobi Allen Strickland Williams
G’day, babies! Emily is back from Australia, and she is very disappointed by a missed connection with a koala. Lisa teaches us about “the danger triangle,” which is an area on your face and not a large part of the Atlantic ocean, as I’d assumed. On Chunch Chat, we are itching for a Chunch fix, as Martha has been fowl-focused as of late. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Dirty Blues,” which “encompasses forms of blues music that deal with socially taboo subjects, including sexual acts and/or references to drug use of some kind.” If you thought Lil Wayne’s music was vulgar, you should check out what Lil Johnson was singing in the 1930’s. We welcome Jen Statsky to discuss trypophobia, the fear of small holes. Don’t Google it if you think you might suffer from it. Pretty creepy images await if you do. On Expert Hour, we are joined by Bey Stevens, an early childhood educator who happens to be in her late childhood.
Hello babies! Lisa is back from India and is relieved to be back home in calm and empty, relatively traffic-free Los Angeles. Emily’s grandmother recently passed and she recalls some nice stories. On Chunch Chat, we get a drone’s eye view of Martha’s property. Check out the roofs on those basket houses! On Wiki of the Week, we read the WIkipedia page for “Zozobra,” a giant marionette effigy that is built and burned during the annual Fiestas de Santa Fe in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Very proto-Burning Man! We welcome Moshe Kasher (who’s new show premiers on Comedy Central tomorrow night!), to teach us about Burning Man, which he has attended eighteen times. On Expert Hour, we are joined by LIBSTIC representative Spooner Oldham, who clears up some commonly held misconceptions about Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Moshe Kasher James Austin Johnson
Hello babies! Special greetings to our babies down under! Emily is performing at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this week. She will be telling jokes with that American accent she is known for. This is the first episode we’ve recorded since having our conversation about ADHD recently, and we touch on how our feelings have and haven’t changed since. On Chunch Chat, there is no new Ban Chunch news, but we do learn about Martha Stewart’s new pussy willow grove. We are amused by Martha’s silvery gray catkins. We also learn about her “basket house,” a house that was built to store her basket collection. On WIki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Highgate Vampire,” a media sensation surrounding reports of supposed supernatural activity at Highgate Cemetery in London in the 1970’s. We welcome Siobhan Thompson, who joins us to teach us about Boudica, queen of a first century AD Celtic tribe who defended against the occupying forces of the Romans. On Expert Hour, we are joined by Werner Herzog, who has recently become an expert in 90’s alternative rock lyrics. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Siobhan Thompson Josh Fadem
Hello babies! It’s MaxFunDrive 2017- go to Maximumfun.org and help support the Babies and all your other favorite shows! Check out the Baby Geniuses themed gifts! I want a Baby Geniuses butt pin really badly!! We’re traveling a lot this month which has us wondering - how do you pronounce this dang place? Do you make an effort to do as the locals do? When in Rome, say Roma? Or does “Paris” rhyme with “heiress” to you? Emily finally got around to seeing A Dog’s Purpose. On the subject of gut wrenchingly bad movies, we respond to feedback we received about our La La Land opinions. On Chunch Chat, Martha adds some colorfully named fowl to the coop. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Concealed Shoes,” or shoes that are hidden inside buildings while they are being constructed. We welcome Jackie Kashian, who is not ashamed to tell us about her love of Romance Novels. On Expert Hour, dessert medium Roy Lips joins us to share how he uses sweets to connect us with the deceased. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Jackie Kashian Paul Welsh
Hello babies! We have a local election tomorrow! Get educated and make a difference at the local level (LA listeners - vote NO on S)! What is Gunther from “Friends” up to? Is he loaded or did he get a raw deal? Fill us in if you know! How much should you give to charity? (Boy) Friend of the show Adam says you should give as much as makes you a little uncomfortable. Maybe get a little uncomfy with us? Speaking of uncomfy, we touch on a very personal topic. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Shrek (Sheep),” a sheep who evaded being shorn for six years. Please do an image search and check this guy out. We welcome Laurie Kilmartin, who joins us to teach about the magic of FasciaBlasting. On Expert Hour, we’re joined by Lunk Dunkleman, who is an expert in navigating the workplace, or in his words, “making boss happy.” Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Laurie Kilmartin Jake Regal
Today, we’re doing one of my favorite segments. We answer your questions via Twitter! Tune in to find out what Lisa considers a “gastric burden!” On Chunch Chat, we learn about Martha’s twenty new pigeons. They have really fun names and might taste good. Don’t @ me. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Kappa (Folklore),” a legendary Japanese creature. Stay out of the water if you don’t want to get impregnated with a monster child! Or, don’t worry so much because they’re easily fooled. We welcome David Gborie, who waxes poetic about his favorite album, Madonna’s 1990 greatest hits album The Immaculate Collection. On Expert Hour, trend expert Ned Svending joins us to discuss how 2017 is going to be the trendiest year yet. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt David Gborie Nick Vatterott
Hello babies! How are your New Year’s resolutions holding up? Still staying off social media? We hope so! Feeling like you need to do something? We have some tips for people in blue states/districts who don’t feel like they can do anything. On Chunch Chat, WE HAVE NEW BANCHUNCH NEWS! We have a new Banchunch pic! Martha has blessed us with a sighting of our favorite Fell pony. On Wiki of the Week, we read the page for “Telling the Bees,” a traditional European custom in which bees would be told of important events in their keepers’ lives. Bees get really mad when they’re not updated. We welcome Jack Moore, who tells us an INSANE story about his time spent as an Uber/Lyft driver. On Expert Hour, fake news expert Duane Reade joins us to discuss a very contentious and confusing topic. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Jack Moore Matt McCarthy
Hello babies! Welcome to the other side of the looking glass! We’re discussing how our lives have changed post-inauguration. We’re not on social media a lot, so if you’ve tried to slide into our mentions we might have missed you. We’re wasting less time on Twitter, but that time is well spent thinking about how La La Land is so terrible. On Chunch Chat, Martha Stewart has been quite withholding of Chunch news. Alternatively, Lady Gaga was recently spotted riding her Arabian mare Bailey Ann. On Wiki of the Week, we read the page for “Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands,” or The Gay Kingdom of the Coral Sea. I want to go to there! We welcome Matt Braunger, who we talk with about his cousin’s book The Disaster Artist. Required reading for fans of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. On Expert Hour, millennial funeral curator Hunter Barry joins us to talk about the business of being remembered. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Matt Braunger Paul Danke
Hello babies! We did it. We actually did it. We lived through 2016. I know it is hard to believe but you are stronger and better for it. You deserve to pamper yourself. Maybe treat yourself to one of the many wonderful products dedicated to making your bathroom experience (read: pooping) better? You could also consider making or buying a really great sandwich. On Chunch Chat, Martha gives us an update on her Sicilian donkeys Rufus, Clive, and Billy. On Wiki of the Week, we read the page for “Melon heads,” the name given to legendary beings and urban legends in parts of Michigan, Ohio, and Connecticut generally described as small humanoids with bulbous heads, theorized in the 1970s, who occasionally emerge from hiding places to attack people. We welcome Kurt Braunohler, who tells us about Neural Nets, which are networked computers that are now talking to each other and we don’t know what they’re saying. SCARY! Family photographer Violet Beechman joins us to give us an appreciation for the many different types of non traditional families she works with. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Kurt Braunohler Kristen Studard
Hello babies! We hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Did you sleep well on your old twin bed at your parents’ house? Or maybe they turned your old room into some sort of multi use office situation and now you’re sleeping on a pull out couch bed? Either way, you’re sleeping in your own bed tonight and that always feels great. On Chunch Chat, Martha must have learned a trick from her friend Snoop Dogg because she’s doing a lot of wrapping! On Wiki of the Week, we read the page for Gef, also known as the Talking Mongoose or Dalby Spook. Nothing I respect more than the integrity required to take a lifelong hoax to the grave with you! We welcome Aparna Nancherla to the show to discuss her history selling Cutco knives. They’re actually great knives! Parenting expert Chandelyne Jean joins us to teach us how to be better parents to however many children we may or may not have. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Aparna Nancherla Alana Johnston
Hello babies! Its almost Christmas! We got the ultimate gift this year - Lisa’s dog Indy survived cancer! There is still good in this crazy world! Turning to bad news, the final episode of Great British Bakeoff with the classic cast is airing soon. We’re coping by literally sticking our feet in bags of acid. We’re doing everything we can to boost our Wikifeet.com ratings. On Wiki of the Week, we tackle the wikipedia page for “Responses to Sneezing.” Bless you! Our guest Casey Ley has HIV and he’s doing just fine. Expert baby namer Vivaldi Earnst Deveraux stops by to show us how to subvert child naming traditions. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Casey Ley Craig Rowin
Hello babies! This is our first episode recorded post-election. Welcome to the new world! We unpack some of our feelings regarding this hellscape. On Chunch Chat, we’re experience a Chunch news drought. We talk Martha’s new show, in which she offers some wisdom about prison and being struck by lightning. On Wiki of the Week, we discover the page for Candle Salad. It’s a really funny looking salad - Look up a picture. We forgo our traditional Expert Hour segment for an interview with non fictional experts. Cynthia Sanchez is an organizer who works for PICO, who organizes around immigration, homelessness, youth, district elections and voter engagement. Katt Hoban is a former youth worker, community organizer, and occupier who studies social movements in the sociology PhD program at UC Irvine. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Katt Hoban Cynthia Sanchez
Hello babies! Got your emergency go bags ready? We recorded this before the election and hope that this still brings you some joy in these uncertain times. On Chunch Chat, we’re hopefully so close to getting a Chunch update! We skewer take on the bots who hang out in Martha’s blog comments section. On Wiki of the Week, we cover a condition called Penis Captivus, which doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. Jenny Zigrino joins us to talk about the various religious camps she attended as a child. We thought we booked Julian Assange of Wikileaks fame, but we made a simple mistake. Shoelean Assange joins us to talk about his website Wikifeet.com. NOTE: If you need a safe place to share/vent/scream through your keyboard, feel free to email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or reach out on our Facebook group. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Jenny Zigrino Zach Broussard
Hello babies! On this VERY SPOOKTACULAR episode, we tackle the important questions. What dat mouse? Listen and find out the answer! The spookiness continues as we tackle that crazy election! If you’re not voting for Hillary, what is actually wrong with you? On Chunch chat, there is no new Chunch news. In general horse news, Lisa has graduated to the fast horse in her riding class! On Wiki of the Week, we talk about a retro 90’s Clinton scandal that was really not a big deal. Kulap Vilaysack joins us to talk about crystals, astrology, and general witch stuff. On Expert Hour, Patty Pecker joins us to talk about her career as a mortuary make up artist. Some of the babies she works with are so cute!! Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Kulap Vilaysack Erin Whitehead
Hello babies! Spoiler alert: people are often using the term “spoiler alert” incorrectly! Even brands like Starbucks are getting in on the action! We look into The Great British Bakeoff’s winning recipe, and the main ingredient is humility. Related: anyone else think Paul Hollywood is kinda hot? On Chunch Chat, Lisa goes horse shopping. One of these horses does a fun fast food related trick that helps you aquire hamburgers. On Wiki of the Week, we learn how the phrase “hair of the dog” originated. It’s less about booze and more about actually putting dog hair on your bites. Nate Fernald joins us to talk about his secret love of G.I. Joe and it’s wacky, under appreciated storyline. Did you know that Cobra Commander is a Libertarian? On Expert Hour, breakup expert Mel Birnbaum teaches us how to cut ties with our partners. Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Nate Fernald Brad Morris
Hello babies! Shake the playa dust out of your angel wings and find some decent WIFI, because it’s Burning Man Craigslist Missed Connection season! Did you fail to swap contact info with that sexy steampunk? There’s still hope - make a really desperate Craigslist missed connection post! We read our favorites. On Chunch Chat, we melt over an Instagram post featuring Banchunch. He’s getting up close and personal with Martha’s pups Ghengis Khan the chow chow and Bete Noir the frenchie! On Wiki of the Week, we’re covering the Tilberi, a shudder inspiring creature of Icelandic folklore. Erin Judge joins us to discuss how to improve cooking stoves in the developing world. Her novel Vow of Celibacy is out now! Go get it! On Expert Hour, Wedding/party toast expert Jacob Mackenzie stops by to teach us how to improve our toast technique. Spoiler alert: Your toast is probably too short!
Hello babies! Our babies are growing up! Our very own Lisa got papped! A paparazzo pops Lisa and Adam a peculiar question that, frankly, outs the photog as being bad at sex. Tune in to find out what I’m talking about! On Chunch Chat, there is no new Chunch news. On Wiki of the Week, we discuss the Wikipedia page for Lisa Nowak. You may remember Lisa Nowak as the diaper wearing, revenge seeking, cross country driving astronaut. Brigitte Muñoz-Liebowitz joins us to talk about how nuns are real people with real careers who get horny sometimes. On Expert Hour, Darrell Maxwell joins us to remind us about the lost art of letter writing. FYI: Emily has a Comedy Central special airing this Friday, Sept 23! Emily Heller Lisa Hanawalt Brigitte Muñoz-Liebowitz Zach Sims
Hello babies! Happy back to school season! We hope you have brand new school supplies! Didn’t you love the feeling of sharpening a brand new pencil for the first time? Although Fall will be upon us soon, we’re still holding onto Summer by discussing Personal Water Crafts. This week on Chunch Chat we discuss Martha Stewart’s pea fowl and their new home next to Ben Chunch! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia entry for “Accidental Damage of Art.” Our very special friend and ex producer Travis McElroy joins in to talk about his impending fatherhood. On Expert Hour, Rick “The Hambone” Hammond stops in to teach us about the messages our Hawaiian shirts are broadcasting to the world!