164: How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel
Published October 27, 2014
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    Is someone you care about - or maybe even you - working for a jerk? In today's show, my guest Tom Henschel from the Look & Sound of Leadership podcast helps us to navigate this difficult situation.

    Tom Henschel
    Host, The Look & Sound of Leadership
    Executive and Leadership Coach, Essential Communications

    How to know if it’s just you

    Test the waters, but be careful

    How to address it

    When you decide to talk, leave the emotion out of it
    Frame the business concern, not you as the victim
    Don’t take it personally
    Don’t speak for others

    You are not going to change your boss

    It’s not your place to get coaching for your boss
    Nothing you will do will likely change your boss’s behavior
    If you can accept that, what do you want to do?

    If it’s really a business issue, give the feedback

    Avoid being attached to the outcome
    Once the feedback is given, let it go
    Rehearse the feedback with someone trusted before you give it

    What to do when the boss is chaotic

    Calm down with someone who is chaotic
    Take tons of notes
    Get clear agreements
    When they change something, don’t take it personally
    Consider sending a note afterwards to summarize what is said

    How to deal with the narcissist

    Be a good audience and ask how you can help them to succeed
    “Narcissists crave attention and there’s not enough room in the spotlight for both of you.” -Tom Henschel
    “With narcissists, in order to succeed with them, you need to not compete with them.” -Tom Henschel
    Have support outside of work too, since you won’t get it from your boss
    When you can do it honestly, throw them a bone
    Always approach situations with collaboration and support

    What do you do with the screamer?

    Don’t engage, wait it out

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