130: Your Two Biggest Critics And How To Handle Them
Published March 3, 2014
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    What do you do when you're the target of criticism? Here are the two kinds of critics that show up at work in the workplace and also how to address them.

    It all comes back to Mathnet
    Two kinds of critics

    The bully
    The champion


    Why you need your critics

    Hawthorne studies (Harvard article) (Economist article)
    Benefits You Get From A Recognition Program (episode #79) with Michelle Smith of O.C. Tanner
    “Our chief want in life is someone who will make us do what we can.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson


    Actions you can take

    Listen and be calm (useful for both the bully and the champion)

    Our urge is to become defensive
    It may put up barriers to hearing something of value
    If the criticism is unwarranted, you’re the one keeping your cool (unless the other party is factually wrong in a public forum)
    If the other party is factually wrong in public, make your case confidently and professionally




    Set aside the tone or personal attack (useful for both the bully and the champion)

    Is there value in what the person is saying, beyond the tone?
    Ask a more independent party to analyze it for you.


    Ask for feedback and criticism (useful with the champion)

    “Be your own toughest critic. Demand excellent performance from yourself and your leadership will thrive in the face of adversity.” -Doug Conant
    This worked for me in my first full-time job
    Take advice of Tom Henschel for episode #107

    Ask often
    Say thank you or can you help me understand
    Do something with it or don’t




    Embrace the criticism and make change (useful for both the bully and the champion)

    Realize that a lot of people use criticism as a primary tool for development
    Take one suggestion this week to actually put into action


    Love your enemy (useful with the bully, and sometimes the champion)

    Find something about them you can love
    Feel sorry for them
    Be glad you're not married to them




    What if your boss is the bully?

    Try one or more things above that you think might help
    Are you getting more than you're giving?
    If not, work towards another opportunity
    Don't throw them under the bus on the way out the door

    To Those Who Want Great Careers: Don’t Do What This Guy Did




    Other episodes that might help

    Benefits You Get From A Recognition Program (episode #79)
    Ten Ways To Pick Yourself Up When You’re Beaten Down (episode #85)
    Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback (episode #107)


    Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." -William Shakespeare

    Feedback

    On this topic: http://coachingforleaders.com/130
    Comments, questions, or feedback for the show: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback or (949) 38-LEARN

    Thank you to Jackson Tye, Aja Wood, Luis Barberis, Mimi Francisco, Brendan Chestnutt, Stephen Arters, Diana Igel, John Bellingham, Cathie McCoy, Mireia Subirana, Bob Wallner, and Athena Leung.

    A special thank you this week to Alex Azor, for the very kind written review you left on iTunes. If this show has been valuable to you as well, please leave a written review on iTunes or Stitcher by visiting http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes or http://coachingforleaders.com/stitcher

    What advice would you give for handling a critic?
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