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February 13, 2020
This episode is a continuation from last week, recorded live from in Woodacre, California. It concludes this three-part series. To begin, a woman reads her Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet to Byron Katie. "I am angry with mom because she didn't love me." The situation is "My mom knew that my marriage had ended and chose not to talk to me about it." As this woman does The Work with bk, she comes to discover how the push of divorce brought her to inquiry to get the support that she needed. The Work is a process of identifying and questioning the thoughts that are the cause of all suffering. Everything you need to do The Work, including a downloadable version of the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, is available free of charge at byronkatie.com. Thank you to Amigo for our theme music (link to music: https://spoti.fi/38Fadd8) ©2020 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
February 4, 2020
This episode of The Work of Byron Katie podcast is a continuation from last week's episode, recorded live from Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. To begin, participants at the event ask questions following an inquiry between Byron Katie and an event participant (available in last week's episode). Byron Katie offers her experience to participants who have various questions about The Work, including how to do the Turnarounds. Next, Byron Katie and a participant practice inquiry on a powerful list of complaints. __ The Work is meditation. It is a method of inquiry born directly out of Byron Katie's experience. This practice allows you to access the wisdom that always exists within you. As we do The Work of Byron Katie, not only do we remain alert to our stressful thoughts--the ones that cause all the anger, sadness, and frustration in our world--but we question them, and through that questioning, the thoughts lose their power over us. Great spiritual texts describe the what--what it means to be free. The Work is the how. It shows you exactly how to identify and question any thought that would keep you from that freedom. Everything you need to do The Work is available free of charge at byronkatie.com. This is Episode Two of Four. Please tune in next week for the next episode. Thank you to Amigo for our theme music. (link to music: https://spoti.fi/38Fadd8) ©2020 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
January 23, 2020
This episode featuring The Work was recorded at an event with Byron Katie at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, CA. In this episode, we hear Byron Katie's opening remarks and an introduction to her "I complain about" exercise. In this exercise, you are invited to make a list of complaints by completing the phrase: I complain about (write a person's name) because (write your reason). For example, I complain about my mother because she lied to me. Next, Byron Katie moves into The Work, which is a simple, yet powerful process of questioning our stressful beliefs. A participant in the audience reads her complaint, "I complain about my son's disease because it causes him to suffer." Byron Katie then facilitates this participant on the thought, "My son's disease causes him to suffer." This is Episode One of Four. Please tune in next week for the next episode. Everything you need to do The Work is available free at byronkatie.com. Thank you to Amigo for our theme music. (link to music: https://spoti.fi/38Fadd8) ©2020 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
October 18, 2019
A woman feeling lost and alone after the break up of her ten year marriage looks at her thoughts about her ex-husband's selfishness, betrayal, and finding happiness with someone else. Watch as she discovers something quite beautiful unfold as she courageously does The Work with Katie. Underneath all her thoughts about the divorce she finds she is doing just fine. She experiences laughter, relief, inspiration and even gratitude. She comes to see without his “selfishness,” she would still be stuck in an unhappy relationship. She realizes how brave he was to call it quits and now sees his unselfishness in a whole new way.
May 8, 2019
Byron Katie's level of insight, self-awareness and questioning is precisely what's required of the coaches and mentors and therapists who work with individuals who've been impacted by trauma. In 1986, at the bottom of a ten-year spiral into depression, rage, and self-loathing, Byron Katie woke up one morning to a state of constant joy that has never left her. She realized that when she believed her stressful thoughts, she suffered, but that when she questioned them, she didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Her simple yet powerful process of inquiry is called The Work. The Work consists of four questions and the turnarounds, which are a way of experiencing the opposite of what you believe. When you question a thought, you see around it to the choices beyond suffering. Katie has been bringing The Work to millions of people for more than thirty years. Her public events, weekend workshops, five-day intensives, nine-day School for The Work, and 28-day residential Turnaround House have brought freedom to people all over the world. Byron Katie's books include the bestselling Loving What Is, I Need Your Love-Is That True?, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. For more information, visit thework.com.
February 20, 2019
Byron Katie guides a 50 year old woman in doing The Work on a situation with her father that occurred when she was 17. This was recorded live during an At Home with Byron Katie event at the Center for The Work in Ojai, California. "Something occurred with my father that shouldn't have," the woman says. "I left home and haven't spoken to him until a month ago, when he apologized on the phone for everything before and after that moment. He says he doesn't remember the moment I refer to." "'He says he doesn't remember'--is it true?" says Katie. "We're going to meditate on that moment with your father on the phone. This keeps you in the situation so we can do our work. Can you absolutely know that it's true that he said he doesn't remember?" "Yes," says the woman. "Now notice how you reacted when you believed the thought. Close your eyes and witness it; you don't have to guess. This is how to answer these questions. So you're on the phone. Get in touch with your physical tendencies--your face and your emotions. Were they high or low in your chest or belly? Witness how you reacted. I want you to get in touch with your emotions, because they are a signal that lets you know when your integrity is off, and that's the cause of your suffering. It can never be the other person. What I'm thinking and believing is the cause of all, not some, my suffering, and The Work is a test of that. Witness how you react when you believe that thought." "My whole body is on fire with anger," the woman says. "Now witness how you talk to your father. That shift in attitude. How do you treat him when you believe the thought?" "I'm no longer open, I'm not willing to be vulnerable with him. I shut down and immediately go into defense mode." "Who would you be without that thought, on the phone, listening to him as he says, 'I don't remember'? Everything was fine. Up to that point you were completely on board." "Wow!" the woman says. "Without the thought, I'm open and vulnerable... and it's not a place I like to be with people I don't fully trust." "But you're still there now..." "Yes," says the woman. They move to the turnarounds. The woman finds two: "I don't remember what I did" and "I don't remember what he did." They continue to question all the thoughts about that situation that she collected on her Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, uncovering again and again her powerful vulnerability and openness. Notice what they did, then notice what you believe about what they did. Which one is the cause of your suffering? —bk
January 31, 2019
Dave Asprey of the Bulletproof Executive, who has used The Work, takes a deep dive with Byron Katie into the process of clearing the mind. "You experienced a 10-year spiral into depression," Dave says. "What got you to this state?" "I was believing my thoughts." Katie says. "And I had no way out. My anger was aimed outward at other people; it was their fault. So the self-loathing and anger was all an effect of things I would say and do out of a mind that believed others were at fault. It was a debilitating, vicious cycle of judgment-guilt, judgment-guilt. I had agoraphobia. Most of the time, toward the end, I was unable to leave my bedroom—very painful. I do whatever I can now so that no one has to suffer at that level or any level, because there is a way out." "What actually happened?" "I was asleep on the floor; I opened my eyes, and in that moment I saw how the mind worked. The shift in me was so radical that my family recognized my body, but otherwise had no idea who I was. I had shifted from a very confused and lost human being to someone who was at peace." "It seems like you just went to sleep and woke up with this mass of knowledge. How did that happen?" "Well, I just saw how the mind worked. I saw that when I believed my thoughts I suffered, but that when I questioned them I didn't suffer," Katie says. "And it's not as easy as it sounds. I still had this ego-personalty to deal with. It's like there were two of me; there was this wisdom and understanding of the cause of suffering, and then the ego. I designed the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet and used it to capture all the crazy thoughts in my head. I would write them down and sit--the mind with the mind--and ask the four questions: 1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it's true? 3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? And this is when people's blood pressure goes up. It's when the heart begins to race. We experience the physical wear and tear on our bodies from the emotions that happen. And you see images of past and future. They're not real. They're like fake news. When we're experiencing those emotions, we're reacting to that movie in our mind. That's the cause of all suffering. We have this movie running. The thoughts are the soundtrack we believe onto it. And 4. Who would you be without the thought? Who would I be without believing these past/future images? Just who am I just now? That's how we drop into our true nature, and out of that, our choices radically shift, because now we're sane. There's no mind to argue and talk us out of what we know is right in our life. And then we turn the thought around to find opposites, to see if they are just as true as or truer than our original belief. We enlighten ourselves with possibilities we haven't considered." "What's a short description of what you do?" Dave says. "Clear the mind," Katie says. "And when I use the four questions of The Work to clear my mind, it frees up a huge amount of energy to do things that matter. The Work is useful simply because it removes the drag on your life." Dave says. "In closing, I know that you're in Ojai, and you have a nine-day in-person event where you teach people The Work. You have one coming up in March. If you want to know what's going on with the thoughts in your head, Byron Katie's work is powerful. There's great value to sitting down and spending about a week with other people doing the same thing. Something happens differently than if you just sit down by yourself for a week doing this. Especially when you're in the presence of a great teacher." Question anything that would limit you in life. --Byron Katie
January 10, 2019
Luke begins: "Katie, it's clear that you don't need me to promote your work; I'm small relative to the millions of people you've reached. But something I've noticed about you over the years is that you just tirelessly, happily, and joyfully keep sharing this information with people. It's so neat to see someone who does it for the love. I mean, The Work is free on your website! I know you have conferences and things to keep the lights on and go deeper, but I really dig that passion. "Now, there are stories of instant enlightenment like you and Eckhart Tolle, but I know that when people ask you if you're enlightened you've said, 'I don't know anything about that. I'm just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn't.'" "For me," Katie says, "no suffering is as good as it gets. That's about as enlightened as I want to be. If you don't love the mind after you've outgrown suffering, what's left?" "When you were in that dark place in your life, how much of that was at the hands of drugs and alcohol?" "A lot of it, along with compulsive overeating. All of these were simply ways of trying to ease the pain and put myself to sleep," Katie says. "Do you think at that point you were clinically alcoholic or were you someone who just abused a little bit?" "I saw that I was addicted to what I was thinking and believing. It became so painful to live out of the confusion in my head that it took me to sanity." "Once you had that experience, was there ever any desire to overeat, self-medicate, or drink?" "It all ceased to be a problem, because I was making decisions out of a sane mind. When we're sane, the choices are so clear, but when we're believing thoughts that argue against our true nature, we suffer. Sanity doesn't suffer, ever. --Byron Katie thework.com Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
December 18, 2018
A husband feels that his privacy is being violated when he finds his wife looking through his texts. During a live event with Byron Katie, his wife reads each of The Work's four questions to him and waits for his answers. "'I'm violating your privacy'--is it true?" says the wife. He pauses to consider the question. Speaking to the audience, Katie says, "Don't think the answer is supposed to be no. This is a journey. We're noticing what arises as we meditate on the situation. And the answer to questions one and two is either yes or no. You started the Worksheet with a yes. If you aren't seeing anything different in your mind's eye, you're still at a yes. So you don't have to torture yourselves by looking for a no. Be open to 'no,' but if you can't decide, it's still 'yes.' She's not asking, 'Is it true? And don't hurt my feelings.'(To the wife) So, sweetheart, let's continue. And whatever his answer is, take it in fully and respond with 'Thank you.'" "Can you absolutely know that it's true that I violated your privacy?" says the wife. "Yes," he says. "Thank you. How do you react, what happens, when you believe the thought, I violated your privacy?" "I get defensive," he says. "I try to prove that I'm as open and enlightened as you are by just allowing it to happen. I become very judgmental and fearful of what it portends for our relationship." "Thank you. So who would you be, in that same situation, without the thought 'I violated your privacy?'" "I would be calm, happy, and better able to see you clearly. I'd be able to communicate more openly and honestly." "Thank you. 'I violated your privacy.' Turn it around." "I violated your privacy." He pauses. "I can see that by believing you are violating my privacy, it taints my opinion of you and therefore I'm not as present as I'd like to be in our lives together." "Thank you. Can you find another example?" "Probably (laughing). It makes me suspicious of you, so I want to check your phone (laughing), because if that's the level of trust you have for me, then maybe there's something going on with you." "Thank you. Can you find another example in that situation?" Katie says to the audience, "Notice how she doesn't defend, and she's giving him plenty of time. He's able to empty himself to her. This is conflict resolution. It's a beautiful thing to experience and witness. It means that for all the days of your life, you can say anything to each other, and have an incredibly intimate relationship. And if there are times when you're not ready for it, just say 'Not now.' It takes a lot of courage to stand with such integrity before the one you love." What you're believing is the cause of all the hurt and anger you will ever experience. --Byron Katie Give yourself or someone you love a fresh start to 2019 with the New Year’s Mental Cleanse. Join me for one day, two days, or all three and a half days. 29 December 2018-1 January 2019. The gift of peace. xo bk thework.com Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
October 30, 2018
Byron Katie discusses the innate power of The Work with Achim Fassbender of SimplYoga, Houston. "How are you doing with inquiry?" Katie asks. "I don't know what holds me back from really going in to do my Work on abandonment by my father," Achim says. "Maybe a lack of courage. I'm being protective of that wounded place." "When you say you have a 'lack of courage,'" Katie says, "you're speaking for the ego. The ego's life is threatened every time you go into the unknown by questioning your thoughts. It's the ego's fear of discovery. We're talking about identity, the identity of the ego that you see as you, the false self. There's nothing to lose but the loss of identity. But be gentle with your ego along the way. I don't do war with the ego. Love is the power. The question 'Is it true?' invites you to revelation. Just get still and wait, and expect nothing." "I can hit a wall after the revelation," Achim says. "I don't know what to do with it." "I nurture the revelation," Katie says. "I don't take it for granted. I support and honor it. It's a gift. So what's next? Just awareness. Be aware of what was revealed to you. Just be with it." "It seems that the mind always wants more. For the ego, it's not good enough until there is some complete resolution." "There's only one complete resolution," Katie says, "and that is prior to mind/ego. It's non-duality. We could call it original mind. There's no opposition to it. It's music. It's just living in that revelation you described and having breaks from it if there are other lessons to learn." "So is The Work a means to bring us out of the duality, the world of the dreamer?" "What's left after ego?" "Awareness? But that's what I've learned. I haven't really experienced it. Is awareness experienceable in a way that I will notice? Or will I just become a drop in the ocean, indistinguishable from all the other drops?" "You just described your life now," Katie says. "It's better than that. Physically it could look like tears. I'd call it pure devotion. The need of no other thing. It's beyond ego. There are not two. It's completely delighted. It needs no other. It's creating everything. But that everything is nothing. It's not capable of sending out anything that is not equal to devotion. It is devotion itself." "This is the first time I'm hearing this," Achim says. "It's a whole new perspective for me. In the book, you explain that you had to relearn names, relationships, and pretty much everything. But relearning didn't effect you so that you would slip back into the dream world. Yet you are capable of seeing it from the other side." "You could say, I'm simply awake to the dream," Katie says, "so I see nothing. I love. And there are no consequences. There's no denial in it. It's everything." If it's really the truth you're looking for, trust the questions; they absolutely know where to go. Requirement: patience. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
October 16, 2018
A man at the 6 September LIVE--At Home with Byron Katie event reads his stressful thought to Byron Katie and the audience. "I am angry and disgusted with those who support the current administration." This thought usually occurs to him when he's reading an article or some comments on Facebook. Katie brings him back to the moment when he is reading. "How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought, and you're reading an Op-Ed?" "Very tight in the throat and chest," says the man. "I want you to know where you feel it," Katie says, "so that the physical reaction can remind you to look to what's going on in your mind. What images of the future do you see when you're believing this thought?" "Environmental devastation, people with no access to education or doctors, people being silenced for having alternative beliefs, and basic 1984 fear," says the man. "The 1984 image is of the past in your mind," Katie says. "I want you to know why people often say, 'Be here now.' You're reading and you see what is not happening now; it's a case of imagination witnessed in your mind's eye. And you see future fearful images. You become upset yourself as you witness false past and future as a movie in your head. Who would you be without those thoughts, images of past/future?" "I'd be Forest Gump," says the man. "I'd be happy. I'd be a much more sane and calm person." "So is it really those of us who are supporting the current administration who upset you, or are you just sitting in an internal movie upsetting yourself?" "I'm absolutely just sitting there upsetting myself," says the man, laughing. "And then others take the blame." "I guess I'm kind of trying to rule the world." "I'd drop the 'kind of,'" Katie says. (Audience laughter.) "Now how would you turn your thought around?" "I'm disgusted with myself for assuming all of these things about people I don't know anything about." "The way you have identified yourself, you're up here and we're way down here," says Katie. "We seem to be who you believe us to be. "Another turnaround," the man says. "Thank you for supporting something I don't believe in, so that I can learn a different way of looking at it." "A clear mind is a beautiful mind," says Katie. "Can you find another turnaround?" "I'm not disgusted with anybody, because that's insane," says the man. "I love your open mind," Katie says. "That tight feeling in your chest will always let you know when your mind is closed." When the man gets to statements two to six on his Worksheet, he is astonished that he now feels embarrassed to read them. "What we are thinking and believing is the cause of all suffering. No administration has the power to cause you stress or ultimately take your freedom from you." —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
July 3, 2018
Byron Katie invites you to this walk, here with your eyes closed, or as you walk in the world. It's a silent meditation. It's about noticing. "It's so lovely to just walk and not know," Katie says, "and let the world tell you what it is rather than you telling each object. Just listen, be still, and let everything name itself, or not. Just notice and be free in that, as though nothing has ever been named. Someone called it "tree," and you really think it's a tree. But what if you just got still, noticed, and let it tell you? I invite you to that don't-know mind in your morning walk." The morning walk is a core element of Byron Katie's School for The Work. The School is an immersion in freedom. For more about the School, visit http://thework.com/en/ultimate-inner-adventure. I invite you to the don't-know mind. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
June 26, 2018
Susan Piver of the Daily Dharma Gathering interviews Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell. "As a busy Buddhist, it's a delight to feel the cohesion between my Buddhist studies and The Work," Susan says. "It feels like there's no difference. And The Work is meditation that you can do off the cushion." "Yes," Katie says, "it's a practice that takes stillness, and we don't have to leave meditation just because we're walking and talking, going to work, and taking care of our children. And we don't need that cushion once inquiry is alive in us. It's an unceasing meditation to live in these questions. As an example, if I meet someone and hold a grudge against them, it's what I'm believing onto them that creates that grudge. It's like I'm slapping post-its on them as if my judgments are that person. So I'm not talking to that person, but rather to the identity that I believe them to be. So it's no wonder we're confused in our relationships. It's my responsibility to meditate on and to question what I'm believing about you, so that I can see you and know you. Believing onto you doesn't show me you. When I take my story off someone by questioning what I believe about them, I begin to experience compassion and love." Later they discuss Katie and Stephen's new book, A Mind at Home with Itself, which is based on the Diamond Sutra. "A mind at home with itself is the end of war in your world," Katie says. "The Diamond Sutra is a text that centers on the issue of generosity," Stephen says. "The main point is that the more you understand the unreality of the self, and see that there's no difference between self and other, the more you naturally live a life of unfettered generosity. It came to me that this sutra would be an excellent framework for Katie to talk about her experience, because it's so much in harmony with the spirit of The Work." "As Stephen read to me his translation of the sutra," Katie says, "I wept with joy. I felt that any word I added to it would take away from its clarity. But Stephen encouraged me to speak out of my own experience, so I followed the simple directions, and we ended up with this book. We hope you find it helpfully alarming!" The clearer the mind, the clearer the choices. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
June 20, 2018
Iñaki describes to Byron Katie how he becomes fearful when he understands that thoughts create his world. "Walking down the street," Iñaki says, "I understood that my thoughts create the world I experience. Then it felt like an abyss was opening around me, like a pool of nothingness. With this feeling came fear. Fear of nothingness, of dissolution, of disconnection, fear of being alone in a cold and unfriendly universe, like an astronaut cut off from his spacecraft and the world, lost in the nowhere." "The moment you fear what you perceive as the abyss," Katie says, "you frighten yourself back into this false world that you see as safe. So there's nothing enlightened about it; it's just one more terrifying thought. No different. But it's enough to keep the ego strong and identified. So let's prepare for that unfriendly universe. Get still, and imagine yourself as that astronaut. There's no way back, no help. You're drifting away. You're never going to see another human being or get help. And you're not even going to die. This is forever. What do you want in that moment?" "I want to feel safe." Iñaki says. "Other than what you're thinking and believing, are you safe?" Katie says. "Yes," Iñaki says, laughing in recognition. "Someone said, 'Imagination is everything.' Your imagination frightened you, not the abyss. The abyss has a terrible reputation. It's so beautiful. And what I love about the abyss is that it's an opportunity to do The Work. What is truer: "I shouldn't trust this?" or "I shouldn't trust my thoughts about this?" Whenever we believe our thoughts, we're out there in the abyss. 'The abyss is cold, terrifying, empty, forever, disconnected.' One turnaround is: your thoughts are cold and terrifying; they would keep you from such a beautiful experience. The next time you're in the abyss and frightened, capture what you are thinking and question it. After questioning it, the abyss just becomes another place to be still. All you're going to discover when you're alone is yourself. With people--without people--fear is fear. You know how to question it. And people, like the abyss, are your imagination. Just like the abyss, we are not who you believe us to be." The abyss is the same as the earth. Pure imagination. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
June 12, 2018
Aaron Alexander of Align Podcast spends an hour with Byron Katie. As a result of feeling unsafe, insecure, and alone, Aaron has developed a strong social media presence to create support, network, and community for these issues. "When people are struggling," Katie says, "inquiry is a place they can turn to. The Work is meditation. It's a different way of getting still. In this stillness, we invite in the teacher that really matters. We invite what's shown to us in the silence." Aaron asks, "How important is language in the moment? It feels to me like we create our world around our language, and with every word you'd say, 'It's like we're casting a spell on those around us.'" "We are," Katie says. "What I'm thinking and believing is the spell that I'm casting on my life. And that spills over to other people. Is what I'm believing kind? If it's kind, it's wise. To live out of a kind mind is an amazing gift. We all have the power to sit in the question 'Is it true?' and discover that wisdom. "Enlightenment is a trip I invite people not to miss. And I can't claim enlightenment. What I received was a gift that I can't take credit for. I'm just grateful that I'm out of that awful suffering, and that I can pass on--to anyone who's open to it--a way out of depression, loneliness, isolation, addictions, and low self-esteem. There is a way out." Aaron asks about Katie's January 2014 close call with death. "Oh yes, my vital organs were shutting down," Katie says. "I was dying, and the doctors couldn't do anything about it. This is all detailed in A Mind at Home with Itself. Long story short, I never saw a problem. I love life. I don't want to waste one moment of that life worrying about the future." "Are there any fear-based patterns that you still replay?" Aaron asks. "I still experience images and words; there's just no attachment to them. They're fantasy. It's like going to a movie, but you know it's a movie. If I can shift to a kinder state of mind, then anyone can. I wouldn't want anyone to live in a state of mind as crazy as mine was. Inquiry has allowed me to open my arms to what is." "In what direction do I point people to find out more?" asks Aaron. "To thework.com," Katie says. "And for people interested in non-duality, I have a No-Body Intensive. And I invite everyone to the School for The Work. It's a radical nine days of inquiry." In stillness or meditation, we invite in the teacher that really matters. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
June 5, 2018
Marcela from Canada asks Byron Katie, "If a body is just a projection of mind, do we still need to take care of it?" "Absolutely," Katie says. "Cause and effect. If I don't eat, the body dies. That is the apparent material world. Then there's another world. There's a world the enlightened mind sees. Not in time, but now, as we sit in the answers that these questions can take us to. "It's impossible to be a physical body because the body is a projection of your mind. So take care of the mind when you're stressed out, and clarity and love will take care of your projected body. "Any time you feel stress, this unnatural feeling of being out of harmony, look to what you're thinking and believing in the moment, and clear it up with The Work. Inquiry is like a constant state of meditation that happens without my help. I'm just letting it run. "Now, get really still, and notice the times when you don't take care of the body. Look to see the story running in your mind just before you binged, had the cigarette or drug, or got angry. The trigger is hidden in the time just prior to that. Whether something is good for me or not, if I feel guilt, I take care of it. I don't do The Work on the thing I ate or did, I go back and do The Work on mother, father, sister, brother, roommate, or whoever the story is about." "Actually, I was the opposite," Marcela says. "I was always exercising, taking vitamins, and trying to do what the latest study told me to do." "Yes, rather than the chocolate cake, that's your addiction." "I notice that I did it for fear of being sick. It wasn't because it was what I really wanted to do; it was done in fear of the future if I did not take care of my body." "Yes. It's the ego's fear of death," Katie says. "The ego tells you: 'You have to take care of this body; you can't be too careful. Take those vitamins, run, eat right.' Without the ego identified as the body, this material object, then who am I? As an ego, who am I?" "After doing The Work, I actually started to notice myself stressing about these things," Marcela says. "Health is about right here, right now, isn't it?" Katie says. "People may be telling me I'm sick and dying, and I could be in pain, but I'm fine in my mind. 100%. I am healthy because I'm not at war with what I'm witnessing. I'm not at war with death. I'm not at war with life. I'm well." It's a beautiful thing to love what we think in this moment. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
May 29, 2018
Byron Katie and Armin Rott of Germany talk about how forgiveness really happens through the meditative process of The Work. This interview was part of the first German online Forgiveness Conference in 2017. "Forgiveness," Katie says, "is knowing that what I believed happened, didn't necessarily happen. I can put all of these negative thoughts on you like post-its. These are my thoughts; they're not you. And I'm blaming you for being the person I believe you to be. I've made you an enemy. "I'm the one doing that to you; you're never doing it to me. That's forgiveness. Seeing that what I thought happened, didn't. "Now I can put these judgments on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet and question them. With this inquiry we can find ourselves not only in a state of forgiveness, but in a state of connectedness with the person we were judging. "You didn't change. I questioned what I believed about you, and forgiveness happened. No one can separate me from another human being; I'm the only one who can do that. If I'm not connected, that's on me. I look to what I'm thinking and believing. "And if I've done anything out of that unkind, believing mind, I admit it, apologize, and make it right when I can, but only when I'm sincere about it. And this can be very humbling. It's quite a turnaround for the ego." "The hardest part," Armin says, "is giving up the perceived need to be right, to attack, to judge, and to not feel how much it hurts." "If I want to be right," Katie says, "that's my first clue that it's time for me to identify what I'm thinking and believing about this other human being, write the judgments and assumptions down, question them, and turn them around, so that I can see that human being for who they really are. If I have an enemy, that's on me, not them. So we're talking about complete and total forgiveness. "It can take time," Armin says, "to do this process of forgiveness through The Work. But it can be completed." "Yes," says Katie. "When we ask 'Is it true?' we have to get still and meditate on that question to see what meets it. And what meets it is big. It will shift you right out of your identity. What meets the question is your own wisdom." "Oh my God!" Armin says, with tears in his eyes. "Okay, I think I haven't understood The Work. Oh my God! This is deep! What a relief! Thank you, Katie. Then, in that stillness, you have access to what is true. Oh! Thank you. And now I realize that there is no way to forgive unless you have access to that." "It's the beginning of the end of the war in you," Katie says. "Just now. It's a gift, this recognition. And your tears are only the physical evidence of the recognition, this flower opening and petals falling. It's beautiful. Armin sits in silence, then gently begins to laugh. "Thank you... Wow!" he says, wiping away a tear. "Can I ask one more question? What happened on the floor when the cockroach crawled over your foot?" "I saw how the entire world was created," Katie says. "The world is nothing until it's named. And it's still nothing until you believe that name. The Work was born on that floor. I saw that nothing was true. How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought? I saw that the entire world was created in that moment. And who would I be without the thought is me prior to believing the thought. And the opposites are as true or truer. So it's all left up to the mind to determine. "Many people have had experiences of realization. The difference for me is that The Work was given to me at the same time, so that the realization could be maintained and nurtured. The inquiry is alive in me. It's alive! Everything just naturally ends in a question mark. It's the questioning mind. For people who invite this into their mediation practice, eventually it becomes a part of their mind as well. It's a practice until finally it takes hold of us. But that takes a very open mind. It takes stillness. It's not about emptying the mind; it's about surrendering to the mind, and just offering 'Is it true?' to the mind." "I'd say that's discipline in the best sense," Armin says. The enlightened mind has nothing to forgive. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
May 22, 2018
Jo-Jo from Hercules, California asks, "What if the Santa Barbara shooter had had the chance to do inquiry, to challenge the thoughts that led him to kill people? Perhaps he wouldn't have done what he did." "If I have no cause to kill. why would I kill?" Katie says. "Every time we do The Work and question the thoughts that cause anger and separation, we lose the ability to do harm, because we are taking care of original cause, which is the mind and what it's believing." "Is it possible to do The Work as a community for Elliot and for kids who are not able to discover the questioning of their minds, so maybe they won't harm people?" Jo Jo asks. "If that shooting is of concern to me," says Katie, "then I'm going to do The Work on that shooter. I'm going to question every judgment I have about that shooter from the moment I first heard about him. I'll put those judgments, what I'm thinking and believing, onto the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. And then I'm going to give myself what I want the community to have. And if I don't find peace with it, I'm going to do another Worksheet. I'm going to call a Certified Facilitator of The Work, I'm going to call the Do The Work Helpline. I'm going to go to the School for The Work. I'm going to go to thework.com and follow the simple directions. I'm going to give myself everything I want the community to have. Then I'll call the community together and invite them to do The Work. Some of them will come, some of them won't, but you're serving the community just through the invitation." "Is it possible to do The Work for Elliot and other mass murderers, even though they're gone?" Jo-Jo asks. "To do The Work on him is to shift that," Katie says. "Do The Work as him. Put yourself in the place of someone who is so bitter, so angry at women, and what he might have been thinking and believing in order to do such thing. You'll recognize thoughts there, whether they were his or not; you'll be sitting inside the mind of a murderer. That's in all of us. "When you do The Work on him, you'll find the murderer in you, and when you do The Work as him, sitting in that car just before he went in to do the deed. By doing that you're going to clean out everything you don't want in this world. Once that's cleared out, there will never be a mass murder that will upset you again. When you're really clear, he could be aiming at you or at your nieces and nephews, and you will not be alarmed. You will be of service instead. There's nothing more powerful than peace. And it's so exciting." In the clarity of awareness, you're unlimited. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
May 14, 2018
In this fascinating discussion between Byron Katie, John Tarrant, and Stephen Mitchell, the three take a deep dive into similarities between The Work and Buddhism, and how these were woven into "A Mind at Home with Itself." John begins, "In Katie and Stephen's new book, Stephen translates and makes very accessible one of the great wisdom texts, the Diamond Sutra, while Katie responds to this text from her inner quiet. Deconstructing your thought forms and what mind is believing is a practice common to Zen Buddhism and The Work, with its four questions and the turnarounds." "I loved interacting with the Diamond Sutra," Katie says. "Stephen would read me a chapter and then ask me to respond. After hearing it, I always felt that I wouldn't add anything or subtract anything. Stephen encouraged me to respond by asking me questions. It was such a beautiful experience." Stephen explains, "My intent was to make the Diamond Sutra text transparent so that the Buddha mind could shine through; accessible, here and now, and radiant. My intent was also to bring Zen and The Work together, because we've found that each practice enhances the other. For people doing Dharma practice to learn to question specific thoughts that are causing impediments is of enormous benefit, and likewise, meditation practice, deepening one's stillness and ability to focus, has great benefit for people practicing The Work." "Yes," says John, "and there are similarities between the Dharma and The Work as transformational practices. One is the understanding that reality is more profound and beautiful than my maps or thoughts about reality." "Inquiry is a way to test that over and over and over," Katie says. "Through the four questions and the turnarounds, we begin to wake up to the mind as creator of all. That all of the apparent outside really is inner." John quotes an ancient Chinese Zen master: "'Zen directly points to the human mind without reference to words or scriptures.' And of course, scriptures like the Diamond Sutra say that. So inquiry into the nature of mind becomes a practice. There's really nothing wrong with having a thought, but you can be curious as to whether it's true or not. So there's a question mark that happens with it. You're not trying to get rid of it or contradict it; you're just wondering about it." "Yes," Katie says, "there's an excitement about it when each thought ends in a question mark. It's 'Is it true?' without experiencing the actual words. It's that open, brilliant, fearless state of mind where you come to understand and appreciate the true nature of everything." "In a way, that's a practice," John says, "because as soon as I start believing something, I can be pretty sure that it isn't true, because our thoughts are hypotheses about reality. Mainly we think we are our thoughts in a naive sense. We think the world we've made of our thoughts is something we're compelled to live in." Any reaction I experience is an invitation to inquiry--an invitation to experience the questioning of thought. --Byron Katie. John Tarrant, Roshi, teaches and writes about the transformation of consciousness through meditation on Zen koans (existential questions than can't be answered through rational thinking). Byron Katie shows us how to question the thinking that causes all the suffering, revealing the peace and wisdom within every one of us. Stephen Mitchell's many books include the bestselling "Tao Te Ching," "The Selected Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke," "Gilgamesh," "The Gospel According to Jesus," "The Book of Job," "The Second Book of the Tao," "The Iliad," "The Odyssey," and "Beowulf." Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
May 9, 2018
Tori from France says, "I'm upset because I'm too young to have children" and "I want to accept what's going on." She recalls a moment when she was younger, sitting alone in her studio. This is the situation she will meditate on as she questions her thoughts. "So, 'You want to accept what is going on'--is it true?" asks Katie. "Or do you want to argue with reality? Other than what you're thinking and believing, there's nothing to accept. There's just the grace of reality. You have everything you need. And how do you react when you believe the thought 'I want to accept what is going on,' and you really don't accept it?" "I feel incapable," says Tori. "Yes, because you see images of past and future, so you're sitting there, lost in the dream," Katie says. "You're believing everything you think about those images. The story you place on those images in your head costs you your life. Who would you be without the thought? You would be what is going on. Chair, ceiling, walls… reality. Now can you find an opposite of this thought?" "I don't want to accept what is going on," Tori says. "Do I have a choice to accept or not accept?" "Not as long as you're believing your thoughts," Katie says. "You can trust reality. It's not going to shift or move for you. Once you know the nature of the universe, that it's kind, giving, and one hundred percent for you, in service to you--once you understand that, there's no fear of just noticing what's going on. The mind is like a child that hasn't found its way home yet. It doesn't know how to be or rest in itself. It doesn't know how to question itself, so there's chaos. And the feelings that come with that can be terrifying. I invite you to complete a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, question your thoughts, and wake yourself from the dream." The story you place on the images in your head costs you your life. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
May 1, 2018
Byron Katie does The Work via Skype with a woman from Virginia who struggles with her belief that "God should help me pay the rent." "Notice what happens when you believe this thought," Katie says. "I get very angry," says the woman, "and I wonder what I did wrong. Am I being punished?" Katie says, "If I believed that thought, I would become a beggar. I'd become guilty. I can see how I would put it all on God, telling God what to do, what's best, and dictating where God's money should go. I'd be out of my business and into God's bank account. So, right here, right now, who are you without the thought?" "That's a scary one," says the woman. "It is, but only if you put a future onto it," Katie says. "So just right here, right now: who would you be if you weren't that dictator?" After meditating on the question, the woman says, "I would be somebody who likes God. I'd be at peace. I would not be afraid to look at more opportunities and find more ways to pay the rent." "Notice that you're sitting with a roof over your head," Katie says. "You don't look too hot or too cold. Right here right now. This is where the gift is. We forget about the grace of what's given now if we're busy projecting onto the future. So now imagine yourself at a homeless shelter. Other than what you are thinking and believing, are you okay? The worst that can happen is what you're thinking and believing, with or without your rent paid." "Yes!" the woman says. "Other than what I'm thinking and believing, I'm okay." "I'd love that you understand this beyond all apparent conditions in your mind," Katie says. "It takes sitting in the silence and listening. Notice how the false images of a future will come like a tidal wave to wipe away your peace. You understand where that peace is. You understand how to find it." Being homeless is when I'm not present with myself. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
April 24, 2018
A woman from Denmark asks, "How do you know when it's time to make changes? You get to love everything as it is, but still, Katie, you make changes, for instance, you left Paul, your ex-husband. So I'm confused, because I am happy and content, but I still feel a need to change my life. I can always find a way to love what is, but then am I not being true to myself?" Byron Katie answers, "I didn't change my life; I lived a yes to my own heart's desire. Even though I was married to Paul, I found a deeper marriage: to my inner voice. So I became only answerable to that. The only thing that could stop me from living out of that was fear. Love is a fearless state of mind. I had no other reason except that yes to leave Paul. I began to travel and was very rarely home. That was too much for him. He naturally began to make another life for himself, and I'm grateful for that. So the change came from inside. If you're afraid to make a change, write your fearful thoughts on a Worksheet and set yourself free to make change, or not. "There are no do's or don'ts. Inquiry is about the end of suffering. It's freedom to ask anything of anyone, and then trust that they'll say yes or no. Freedom doesn't look the way we think. It's just a natural flow of words, and humor, and life. I know there is this precious place of no past and no future. The Work can open us to that. This precious place is always there. It's always to be trusted, unfailingly." As the mind changes, life changes. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
April 17, 2018
A young woman does The Work at the New Year's Mental Cleanse in Los Angeles. She is stuck on the belief "I need a partner to be happy." With Byron Katie's help, she questions this belief and the many thoughts and images of past and future that support it. "How do you react when you believe the thought 'I need a partner' and you're around men?" Katie asks. "There's a desperation," the woman says, "and I can't see people in the moment. I concoct stories about attractive men." A bit later Katie says, "Turn it around. 'I don’t need a partner.' Examples?" "I don't need a partner, so I can learn to be with my thoughts in peace," says the woman. "So I can do puzzles by myself." An audience member says, "They may not like cats." "That's a huge one for me," the woman laughs. "You can grow with or without someone," Katie adds, "and when you're comfortable in yourself, the partner will come, or not. Be the person you love living with the most. For me it's the joy of being with Stephen or without Stephen. One is equally as divine as the other. You are the beloved. You're the one you want. You're the one you need. You're the one who is always there for you." When you're not in touch with yourself, it's a lonely world, with or without a partner. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
April 9, 2018
Byron Katie guides you through meditation on the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. First she helps you recall a specific situation when you were upset with someone. "Find a situation when you were frustrated, angry, or hurt with someone. Get in touch with the emotion and name it. Then get in touch with why you were upset with this person. Identify what you were thinking and believing in that situation. Anchor in that situation, in that moment in time, and ask the next question on your Worksheet. Continue to collect your thoughts from that moment. What were you thinking about that person?" This Work takes stillness. We are meditating on a moment in time. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
April 3, 2018
Byron Katie talks with a woman from Serbia who asks, "Do we all have ego?" "What is an ego to you?" Katie says. "To me, the I that believes is the ego: the you that you believe to be you, the one you think is the thinker, the false self." "Sometimes ego seems useful and constructive," says the woman, "but sometimes it's not useful. I don't know how to question that part of me. How can I be at peace with that part of me?" "As you do the turnarounds of The Work, you begin to experience your true nature where you are at peace. Eventually, even that becomes not true. Then you're left happy for no reason. That's the end of duality. For me, happiness just is. I can't even claim it as peace of mind. When we continue to question our thoughts, we're left with the positive, and there's nothing we can do about that. It's the song that matches our true nature." The ego is the you that you believe you to be. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
March 29, 2018
A woman from New Orleans struggles with her mother's decision to be friends with a man who has served prison time for rape and who assaulted her when she was a child. Her mother wants to spend time with him because she feels he adds value to her life. "When you are arguing with your mom," Katie says, "are you adding value to your life or her life? It's war. Defense is the first act of war. "And in fact, through no choice of your mother's, the man is no longer in her life. You wanted him out of her life and you have that, but it's not doing much for you, because you're feeling betrayed by your mom. He's fallen out of her life, and you're still holding onto your resentment. The pain of the past is over, and it appears in the mind as images, as though it were real. This problem has to be kept alive in your mind in order to be a problem. And it's held at your own expense. "You have to be there at that moment," Katie says, "in that place, sitting there with your mother when she's saying she wants him in her life. Identify and collect what you were thinking and believing in that moment. Those beliefs are the ones that caused the feelings of resentment, hatred, rage, and betrayal. When you question these thoughts, you're questioning the cause of all of those emotions and your separation from your mother. "It's huge to finally understand not only the cause of all our suffering, but how to identify the specific thought. That's such a gift." What I love about the past is: it's over. —BK Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
March 22, 2018
Byron Katie speaks with a woman over Skype whose eldest son died of AIDS 18 years ago. Now she's dealing with her daughter's mental illness. She wakes up thinking, "I'll never see her again." Katie begins by asking her, "Is it true?" "As you meditate on a question," Katie says, "you never know what you're going to find. Do you see your daughter? Is that an image or is it real? Notice the emotions that happen as you witness these images in your mind--as you sit in a dream that seems so real. Knowing the difference between what's real and what is not is maturity. It's like walking out of a movie and noticing that the sun is shining. When you're believing that these images are real, it's so powerful; you can't see the hand in front of you! You have a picture in your head and then you believe a story onto that picture. You make the image real with your mental soundtrack. So you're not even connected with your daughter. And that's why you're so confused and lost; you're disconnected from life as it really is." "That feels really true," the woman says. "I'm not waking up thinking about my daughter--I'm waking up and telling myself a story about my daughter." "And are you doing that thinking, or is it just happening?" asks Katie. "It just happens," says the woman. "Yes. You're not doing it. And it's completely harmless until you believe what you're thinking," Katie says. "I meditate on an image as I question what I'm believing about that image. Until I meet everything with unconditional love, my Work's not done. The only daughter I've ever known is the daughter in my mind. When I can't believe anything negative about her image any longer, then I'm connected with her. I'm fearless." The mind is so powerful that it creates your entire world. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
March 6, 2018
A woman from the Netherlands asks Byron Katie, "How do I recognize manipulation?" "Just notice," Katie says. "Any time you're defensive, you're manipulating. It's an attempt to hold an identity for yourself--an identity you want us to believe you are. Any time you feel anger or irritation, that identity is being threatened. Any time you lie, even the tiniest bit, you're manipulating the person's perception of the 'I' you want to be seen as. There's an ongoing, false creation of our identity." I can never be more or less than what you believe me to be. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2018 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
February 27, 2018
During an event at the Center for The Work in Ojai, CA, a woman questions what she believes about her daughter. One of her statements is "She doesn't tell me about her life." "How do you react when you believe that thought?" Katie asks. "I'm devastated," says the woman. "Did you come at her with an attitude?" Katie asks. "I did," the woman says. Katie: "A daughter tells her mother that she's moving. That's reality. And then there is her mother, the dreamer, living in the dream of past and future and missing the chance to interact with her daughter in the present moment." In the turnaround "She does tell me about her life," the woman chuckles in recognition of her daughter's efforts to communicate with her. She continues reading from her Worksheet, and when she gets to "I want Courtney to text and call me often, before I call or text her," she laughs along with the audience. This statement, which once felt so charged, now seems ridiculous. "We're only on the third statement," says Katie, "and the way you saw the original situation has already flipped, because you're more awake to yourself than you were when you wrote it." Hurt is a tantrum. --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
February 20, 2018
A man says, "I know that things are the way they are, but shouldn't I take action to change my life?" "Things are the way I believe them to be," Katie says. "Without inquiry, I'm stuck with that. So I'm successful or I'm a failure--whichever I believe me to be. You say you want to take action, change your life, and take responsibility. Good. Do that. But most importantly, take responsibility for what you believe about your life, at least at the same level that you take responsibility for what you do in your life." As mind changes, life changes. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
February 13, 2018
Roger Nairn of "The Solution Podcast" interviews Byron Katie. He begins by asking, "What was it that you saw in the world that needed a solution?" "My life was filled with depression, and I didn't have an answer," Katie says. "Then there was a moment when the answer just came to me. Even though I knew that depression was the problem, I didn't understand that what I was thinking and believing was the cause. I had to work in slow motion to identify each belief that was causing a disturbance in my mind and then question that belief. That was my solution to the problem." Katie then takes Roger through the four questions and turnarounds of The Work on the belief "He betrayed me" and clarifies how The Work as meditation moves us beyond the ego and into wisdom. "What sort of results should people who do The Work hope to achieve?" Roger asks. "The answer to all their problems," says Katie. "When our mind is clear, wisdom has room to live. When I'm believing things onto the world, where is there room for wisdom?" Byron Katie Mitchell (everyone calls her Katie) discovered the gift of The Work in 1986. She has been traveling around the world since 1992, offering The Work to millions of people at free public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, corporations, battered women's facilities, universities and schools, at weekend intensives, the nine-day School for The Work, and her 28-day Turnaround House. She is the author of Loving What Is, I Need Your Love-Is That True?, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. We are all innocent. The only thing we are guilty of is believing our unquestioned thoughts. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
February 7, 2018
A therapist at the Wisdom 2.0 event does The Work with Byron Katie on her belief "She won't stop drinking." "'She won't stop drinking'--can you absolutely know that it's true?" Katie asks. "The answer is a simple yes or no. The ego will want to defend and justify--it can really scream. So just thank it for sharing and go back to the question. Can you absolutely know that it's true that she won't stop drinking?" When she believed this thought about her friend Kathy, the woman felt responsible, angry, and afraid, and she acted in a way that she calls passive-aggressive. In one of the turnarounds, she replaces "drinking" with "rescuing"--"I won't stop rescuing"--and she sees how she too is addicted: to rescuing people who may not even want to be rescued. "If she stops drinking, then you'll be happy--so it's all about you," Katie says. "You really don't care if she drinks; you just want to be happy. And you don't want anything to happen to her because you would be sad. So, if you're unhappy, it's her fault. When we're unkind and passive-aggressive, we give them no reason to get sober. She's drunk with her drinking, and you're drunk with your thinking. Both of you are addicted." "Yes," says the woman, "my drugs are people. I'm mainlining Kathy, and if she's not around I'll replace her with someone else." I've never met anyone who wasn't my teacher. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
January 27, 2018
At the Wisdom 2.0 conference in San Francisco, a woman from the audience says she was verbally attacked and blamed by her classroom teacher. Byron Katie guides her through The Work, beginning with the thought "My teacher is blaming me." "When emotions arise and you experience anxiety, depression, or sadness," Katie says, "identify what you are thinking and believing, capture it on paper, and then meditate on the four questions and turnarounds. These feelings of blame are so far off from our true nature. Until mind matches true nature, our Work isn't done. When they match, it's the end of separation and the beginning of intimacy. It's a whole new way of being. It's a life without problems." As she finds her answers to the four questions, the woman realizes that her teacher didn't actually say what she believed she said. And through the turnarounds, she discovers the ways she actually blames herself. Then she questions the many other thoughts she has identified from the situation. Ultimately, she can clearly say "I look forward to feeling blamed, because it shows me where I still have Work to do, where my beliefs are still hurting me." The only way I know to break the spell of belief is to meditate on "Is it true?" —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
January 16, 2018
Byron Katie expands on the statement "No one can hurt me; that's my job" for an audience member at the Spirit Rock Meditation Center. The man, the son of a Holocaust survivor, questions how this viewpoint could apply to victims of violent crime, war, and hate. "There are a lot of people being hurt by a lot of other people today," he says, "and this statement sounds a little privileged." "That's why I'm standing here,"Katie says. "You don't have to suffer that kind of hurt. You can get clear. And if you can get clear, someone else doesn't have to suffer that."Katie walks through a hypothetical scenario that illustrates how the mind creates its own suffering by imagining an event in a future that doesn't exist. Katie points him to his immovable true nature. "You don’t have to notice it; it's always there. It's yours, it's perfect, it's immovable. And it hurts when you argue against it." When I'm walking to the gas chamber, other than what I'm thinking and believing, what an amazing day! --Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
December 21, 2017
An audience member is angry at a loved one who died. She believes that "Stanley didn’t have to die." Sensing him sitting at the breakfast table with her, she wrestles with feelings of blame such as "He shouldn't be okay that he died," "He should be trying to fix this," and "He should come back in his current, enlightened state." Byron Katie takes her through a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet available at http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloads/worksheets/JudgeYourNeighbor_Worksheet.pdf . Together they discover some illuminating turnarounds that help her find peace in the passing of her loved one. "It doesn't matter what's in our head," Katie says. "Is everything welcome there? Is your mind at home with itself? Because if you're not comfortable with it, it could use a little Work." August 2017 at Spirit Rock Meditation Center Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International. Inc. All rights reserved.
November 25, 2017
In this in-depth conversation with Jonathan Fields of goodlifeproject.com, Byron Katie is joined by her husband, Stephen Mitchell. Together they explore her journey and dive into their newest collaboration, "A Mind at Home with Itself", which is based on one of the greatest spiritual texts, "The Diamond Sutra". KATIE: The Diamond Sutra is the story of the Buddha speaking with his student Subhuti. And truly, it's the Buddha speaking to himself. STEPHEN: The translations of the Diamond Sutra tend to be very difficult to penetrate, so I thought it would be a service to create a version that is accessible and allow its wisdom to shine through for contemporary readers. KATIE: Stephen read the sutra to me, chapter by chapter, and he asked me to respond to it from my own experience. He'd write down my words and then do his beautiful thing of moving the way I talk into a more understandable English. I'd tell him often, "The sutra is so beautiful that for me to add one word would take away from it." But he kept telling me that I had something valuable to add. I really hope it serves people. STEPHEN: It struck me from the beginning that there were similarities between the mind that created the Diamond Sutra and Katie's mind. There's a great emphasis on inquiry in the Diamond Sutra. The wonderful thing that inquiry does is to keep pulling the rug out from under itself. Even the clearest truths that the sutra teaches are immediately invalidated, so you're left with nothing to grasp. It's wonderful how the subtle, profound mind of the author educates you in not-knowing, in not-grasping. This is exactly what The Work does: it questions assumptions and apparent truths that we create our lives around and that cause so much suffering. Katie's stories make the insights of the Diamond Sutra vivid and moving. They give it the flesh and blood of loved experience. JONATHAN: I completely agree with Stephen. Katie, I found your experience of the Diamond Sutra to be really powerful. STEPHEN: The central insight of the sutra is generosity. The more deeply you understand that there is no such entity as the self, no separation between self and other, the more your life naturally becomes a life of generosity. JONATHAN: In closing, I always ask one question. In your experience, what does it mean to live a good life? KATIE: To be present and to recognize what is at hand to do, and to do that without hesitation. STEPHEN: For me, it's always recognizing the genuine wherever it appears, whether it's in ancient texts, modern literature, music, art, or people. There is something magnetically compelling about someone who is speaking from a genuine inner truth. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
November 21, 2017
Jason Wachob, founder of mindbodygreen.com, interviews Byron Katie about her system of self-inquiry known as The Work, which helps people to tell the difference between what they believe about reality and reality itself. JASON: Katie cuts through the bullshit pretty quickly: "The Work isn't meant to support you to feel good. There's no feel-good in it. It's about waking up to reality," That's good stuff. "When I sat down with Katie, she shared intimate details about her awakening and what life was like beforehand. It wasn't easy. As a mother of three, she—understandably and relatably—was always worried about money, depressed, and stuck in a cycle of compulsive eating and smoking. One day in 1986 everything changed; she suddenly saw the world through different eyes and recalls in great detail exactly what it was like. That's how The Work was born. Katie shares several examples that illustrate The Work, dives into the essential questions to ask yourself (which she details in her new book, "A Mind at Home with Itself"), and helps us see ourselves as entirely separate from our belief systems. In her words, "Suffering is the flip side of our true nature," and The Work is one way to guide yourself in the right direction. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
October 24, 2017
A woman resents her husband because she feels he pressured her into having an abortion. BK: Get still. "You didn't want to have an abortion"--is it true? Woman: I only have yes or no? BK: That's it. Woman: I want a disclaimer (laughing). Yes. BK: How do you treat your husband when you believe the thought "I didn't want to have an abortion"? Woman: I blame him. I treat him with suspicion. I question his motives at every turn. BK (to audience): I invite you all to get out of your head as she has. Be courageous enough to ask, get still, and see what arises to meet the question. (To woman) Who would you be, living with this man for forty-one years, without the thought "I had an abortion when I didn't want to." Look at the difference in your marriage. Woman: We'd both be free. BK: What is the cause of your suffering? Woman: The thought, for sure. BK: Turn it around. Woman: I did want to have an abortion. BK: Feel it. Take responsibility for it. You've been trying to get him to do it for forty-one years. You've been putting that thought onto him for four decades. Woman: It feels easier to blame him than to take responsibility. BK: No one can change my mind. You can talk all you want; My mind shifts or it doesn't. I can never say someone made me decide anything. There was a moment where I believed what I believed and made a decision. That was all mine—I'm 100% responsible. © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
October 17, 2017
Lisa Natoli interviews Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell about their newly released book, "A Mind at Home with Itself." The book is structured around The Diamond Sutra, a Buddhist text whose main point is generosity. "The more you realize that there's no such thing as a self--that in reality there is no separation between self and other--the more naturally you become a generous human being," Stephen explains. Lisa reads briefly from the book: "How can we be generous, not just occasionally, but all the time--every day of our lives? It sounds impossible, but what if it's not? What if generosity can become as natural as breathing? This book shows you how." Katie adds, "No-self means selflessness, which is a fearless state of mind. Other than the thoughts we attach to, which cause fear, we are selfless." Lisa and Katie continue delving deeply into the process of breaking free from the trance that keeps us from reality--from our truly generous selves. NOTE: Over 900 people will meet online to study "A Mind at Home with Itself" together: https://www.lisanatoli.com/bookstudy. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
October 3, 2017
At the 5-day silent retreat in Engelberg, Switzerland ("Being with Byron Katie") a Dutch woman questions her beliefs about the meat industry. The situation is that she's watching an undercover video made at a slaughterhouse in Belgium. As she watches, she thinks, "The meat industry is the largest, most accepted form of violence in the world today." They continue to question the thoughts on her Worksheet such as "I want the meat industry to stop being supported by millions of people," "I want the meat industry to be revealed to be just as shameful as the slave industry," "The meat industry should wake up to the fact that animals are sentient beings too," "I need the meat industry to listen to scientific research (that shows that eating animals is no longer necessary or moral, because there are so many other sources of protein)," "The meat industry is cruel, unethical, unrealistic, unsustainable, a waking nightmare, and a collective cultural shadow," and "I don't ever want to see animals being tortured, separated, transported in unacceptable ways, or murdered for a few moments of our sensory pleasure." To assume that any human being is less wise or less aware than anyone else is something I would question. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
September 12, 2017
Vanessa Jane Patrick of the "Limitless Potential" podcast interviews Byron Katie. Katie describes her experience of waking up to reality. Vanessa then asks Katie about identity. Vanessa: If we don't identify with our thoughts, then what is our identity? BK: Well, we're not left with much for ourselves, and yet a lot. If my husband says "I love you," what he's thinking and believing about me is who I am to him. My children the same. All people in my life--the same. What they are thinking and believing about me becomes my identity within them. Each identity is held as a separate structure by everyone who knows me. That's a lot of identities! For myself, when I see me in my mind's eye in a situation from the past, that is not me. That's not my identity; that's an image. I am the one here speaking to you now, and that's all the identity I need to hold on to for the moment. When a mind is at home with itself, no identity is necessary. The mind is just wide open to everything, because that's what love is. I question anything that would interfere with that. And I invite the world to it. Suffering is optional. Living this way is nothing that I can decide or do; it's the consciousness that I'm left with after inquiry. Vanessa: How can we have a more creative, fabulous life? BK: Every time we question our mind, there's less fake news in the way, fewer things that are not true for us. Inquiry clears the junk out of the mind. In that space of clarity, the choices we make are brilliant. They come out of knowledge and pure creativity and they're doable. And the directions are all there. But all the things we're thinking and believing that create the false self, "I, I, I, me, me, me," is the clutter which keeps us from the awareness of the wisdom that's always there. Questioning our thoughts is how we give wisdom enough space to reveal itself to us. It's just waiting for an open mind. Vanessa: That's a process I've used myself and have found tremendously valuable with clients in shifting their perspective. It creates that space. It's so freeing. Can we give our audience an example of what inquiry looks like with the four questions, and invite them to go to thework.com and check out the tutorial videos? For example, a client has the thought: "I don't deserve success." BK: I'd ask something a little more basic: "I want success"—is it true? Can you see how much is in that question? Especially if you have a family; it's a lot to consider. Then close your eyes and meditate on the next question. How do I react, what happens when I believe the thought "I want success"? I compare myself to others. I see them in their suits with their power. They're going up the elevator in their very own building (laughs). And then I compare that with me, and I am not looking good. I see me trying harder and harder, and failing and failing, when I believe the thought "I want success." I see my money running out and see what I've invested. Then I see me trying again. So I explore that as it's so telling. No wonder I'm exhausted. That's emotional and it's going on all the time. People who are the CEOs of Fortune 500 businesses do exactly the same thing, and it's not fun. The mind compares. That's how the ego works. Who would I be without the thought "I want to be successful"? Then I examine my life without that thought superimposed over my life. And then I turn it around to find opposites, like: "I don’t want success." I open my mind to find "What does that mean to me"? That's radical for someone who has been worshiping the thought "I want success." Maybe success would mean time away from my children. Success could require me to hire and fire, and then I feel an onslaught of work. And maybe that's okay with me, but it also shows me what I need to do to be successful. When we believe we want that success, it wipes out the awareness that we already have success if our goal is a happy life. It's self-education. We're tapping into that wisdom whenever we get still like that. And there's no limit to where The Work on just one concept can take you. Vanessa: Do you find it's more difficult for people who have had an actual past experience or is it just the same? For instance if they had all of that success and they lost it. BK: It would be exactly the same inquiry. Vanessa: If you could instill one insight into the minds of everybody in the world right now, what would that belief be? BK: If you're suffering, there's a way to end that suffering. That way is to identify what you are thinking and believing about yourself or another person, and write it down and question it. Freedom is like being brought to love. There's nothing outside of that. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
September 5, 2017
A man does The Work onstage with Byron Katie during her 2017 Zurich event. In English with German translation. The first statement on his Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is "I am saddened by my father because he beat and abused me." BK: In any situation, I really want to know what is real, and what is not, so I question the thoughts that cause my suffering. It's my job to wake myself up to reality. The fantasy is not that pleasant, so just begin now. This is the time and the place. And what I love about sitting in silence, in The Work, is that it's all there. Be aware that you are dreaming your past. Notice the difference between reality and imagination. Through doing The Work with Katie, the man discovers some peace in a situation that was pure horror. "What I love about the past is that it's over." —Byron Katie "Mind is the creator of everything, without exception." —Byron Katie Website: http: //www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
August 30, 2017
A husband and wife do The Work with Byron Katie during her 2017 Zurich event. (In English with German translation.) Katie asks the husband to look his wife in the eyes and read from the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet he has written about her. BK: I invite everyone to this exercise. Allow yourself to listen to your partner and notice: is what they are saying true? Are they right? And if they are, you're going to feel the burn if your ego is defending you. When you feel that burn from thinking "It's not fair; he always judges me," just drop into silence and notice, considering for yourself whether it's true or not. If he's right, allow a response of "Thank you" to be enough. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
August 8, 2017
Byron Katie does The Work with a French man who believes that his girlfriend is ignoring him. His concept is "I'm angry with Elise because she's ignoring me." He explains that she's passionately interested in another man. Man: The situation is: we are in a dance hall in the countryside and a man comes along. BK: What is she doing in that moment when you say she's ignoring you? Man: I'm sitting down. Two people come in and start talking to the man about dancing. Her eyes light up and she speaks passionately to that man. It's as though there are no other people on earth. BK: Close your eyes and see the scene. She's ignoring you--Is it true? Man: Yes. BK: Look again. Can you absolutely know that it's true? She is looking only at him. She is looking starry eyed. Can you absolutely know that it's true? Man: No. BK: What did you just understand? Man: I felt included in the room with them. BK: Does that feel right? In other words, what you just experienced; was it authentic? Man: Yes. BK: Close your eyes. In that situation in that moment in time, notice what it feels like and notice how you react when you think the thought she's ignoring me? Man: I feel abandoned, nervous, and angry. BK: You see images of past and future before you can feel annoyed or angry. And I love that you all understand how the mind works; the cause of emotion. You see images of the future and past and you're asleep to that. As you witness that dream it's like watching a movie and that's what brings anger. No matter how quickly your temper rises, past-future has to be in place. So close your eyes. You're seeing her with her eyes all lit up talking to him. You think the thought "She's ignoring me." What images of past and future do you see in your mind's eye while you're sitting there? Do you see images of how she used to look at you that way? And then you see pictures in your mind's eye of a future when she'll never look at you that way again. Also, you look at him, and then you have an image of you in your mind's eye. And your mind is comparing him with you. So now you're sure she'll never look at you that way again. She'll always be thinking of him. This is what happened in that moment that you were witnessing her. Man: Laughs [in recognition of his experience that Katie just described]. BK: So you witness this past and future; you don't know it's going on in the moment. If you continue this practice, as you sit in that movie, you can be awake to the cause of the anger and confusion you're experiencing in the moment. Now in your mind's eye, look at her, look at them, and take that story off of then. Get intimate; watch. Get connected. Who would you be, without putting that onto those two people? Without comparing. Man: I would be happy for her; that she's able to talk about her passion. BK: What we want is for everyone to be happy. Why does it have to be you that makes her happy? But no, you want only you to give her that. That is limited love; conditional love. Man: I'm at peace. It doesn't bother me. I can accept it. The Turnarounds--Man: I'm ignoring her. Examples: I'm ignoring her passion; her feelings. I left without her. BK: When I turn around "I'm ignoring her," I witness in my mind's eye, did I ignore her or punish her in any way in the situation? And later, did I hold a resentment; continue not to call, not to talk? Did I continue to punish her or ignore her in any way? If I have, and if it feels right, I contact her, admit it, and make it right where I can. I created it; I need to end my part. It's like the breadcrumbs; you go back and pick them up, or that will be your past. Take care of it in the present time. It's a practice. Another Turnaround--Man: I'm ignoring myself. Examples: I love her and this is not proof of my love. I hurt myself all on my own. BK: Yes, by comparing you with him in your mind's eye. With your eyes closed, look at him and look at you. The way you experienced that situation. Look at yourself in your mind's eye, is that you? No one has ever seen themselves. Not one human being. You see what you imagine yourself to be. When you look at how you saw yourself that night, it was not your best image. You always lose when you compare. You're always more or less. You believe that's you so you're identified as that image which is not you. You're in the dream and it will affect your next relationships. I love that you notice any time you feel upset, that you're in the past and future. You're not in reality. In reality there's no anger, no jealousy, no more, no less. Just sanity. When you compare, you lose. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
August 1, 2017
English with French translation. A French woman does The Work on a situation with her sister that occurred thirty years ago. The woman had just opened her first bank account and was already in the red. Sitting at the dinner table with their parents, her little sister said, "You're irresponsible." The belief she finds by revisiting that moment is "My sister betrayed me." BK: She betrayed you. Close your eyes and witness. Notice how you physically react when you think the thought "She betrayed me." Describe it as you witness. Woman: It's as if I'd been shot with an arrow in my heart. BK: Did you give her "the look"? We're looking for those physical tendencies. I want you to get still enough to observe. Does your body tighten? Your shoulders? Your neck? Woman: I can feel it in my eyes. I'm judging her. I feel myself above her. BK: Do you feel the pain? Continue to look with your eyes closed. Look at your sister in that moment without the story "She betrayed me." What do you see? Woman: Just a little girl with an opinion. BK: Do you see her innocence? Woman: She just wants to be part of the family and take part in the conversation. BK: Look at her again with the thought. Notice the radical difference. Who caused all that suffering, your sister or you? Together they find turnarounds to her original statement: Woman: I betrayed myself. BK: You put your untested thoughts over reality. Woman: My sister did not betray me. BK: Could be as true or truer. She just told the truth. Woman: I betrayed my sister. BK: In that situation, what does that mean to you? Examples? Woman: I crystallized the idea that I couldn't count on her. BK: She makes a statement that was a simple truth. You betrayed her by what you believed onto her. Not what she did, but what you believed onto her. Not being good with money is a good thing to know about yourself. People who betray you support you to come out of denial. Do you see how this is the end of war? Defense is the first act of war and your reaction to your sister was defense. It's how the ego stays identified as that self. We have an identification that we want to live up to, like "I'm the responsible one." When someone threatens the ego's identity, there's war. That’s how war is created in our world. If we can't end the war in our own minds and lives, how can we expect our politicians to? We can't. When we believe our thoughts, we create not only suffering in our lives but in the world and within our own families. Defense is the first act of war. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
July 26, 2017
Byron Katie is interviewed on "The Well Woman Show" with Giovanna Rossi. Giovanna: I want to start with a quote from Loving What Is. "No teacher is ever necessary. You are the teacher you've been waiting for." What do you mean by that? BK: I went to the world for answers--asking others what they advised; but ultimately, I found the answers to all my questions inside. It became so clear to me to just question everything I believed about my life and other people's lives. As a result, everything shifted dramatically. Every time I questioned my assumptions--the things I was so sure were true--the questioning would show me astonishing truths I had no access to otherwise, truths that gave me a happy, problem-free life. So I invite people to question what they think. Giovanna: And it is really hard to always be questioning our thoughts. That's why you have these four simple questions to guide us. BK: And the questions really are a practice. They are something we meditate on, until the questioning just comes naturally. Giovanna: You have to focus on it and really do this in order to get to the other side of suffering. BK: I do The Work all over the world with people and one-on-one, so I'm always in inquiry. And the questioning continues all day long, without effort. So I'm always prepared for life. Giovanna: What superpower did you discover that you actually found was there all along? BK: The ability to love without reservation. Giovanna: I define feminism as equality in social, political, and economic spaces. Do you consider yourself a feminist? BK: In that way, absolutely. And as women, if we are not in those spaces equally, it's because of a fearful state of mind. There's nothing that could stop us in our life if we were not fearful. If I believed anything that didn't give me equal rights in my life, I would question it. Giovanna: What do you tell people who are incredibly fearful right now; people who feel like they have no power over our social and political situation? BK: I'd invite them to love what is, which is different from accepting what is. To love what is is to see things clearly from a balanced state of mind. In that clarity it's simple to see what we can do to make positive changes in our life and in the world, and there's no fear to stop it. "Anyone with an open mind can do this Work; that's the requirement." —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
July 5, 2017
A man whose baby has died struggles with listening to his wife complain about work. His thoughts are "Her world view is rubbish," "She needs to not care about work," and "How can she think about work when our baby is dead?" At the core of his inquiry is the belief "She behaved in a way that made our baby Sophia's death more likely." MAN: She waited and waited and waited before having a child, and that made it more likely that the child would die. BK: "Her behavior made Sophia's death more likely"--can you absolutely know that that's true? MAN: No. BK: And how do you react when you believe that thought? MAN: I feel broken. Snapped. Blocked. Like I can't go on. BK: How do you treat her in that situation when you believe that thought? You're looking at her, but you're seeing the woman who killed your child. MAN: I'm not truthful with her. I'm pretending everything's okay. I'm screaming "no" inside, and "This is rubbish!" I feel aggressive and hopeless. BK: You believed she shouldn't wait so long to have a child. And she believed she needed to wait. She's just like you, and you're blaming her for being just like you. You're both guilty of believing your thoughts--that's all. If you prefer to suffer, go on believing your stressful thoughts. But if you'd rather be happy, question them. —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
June 20, 2017
A woman does The Work on a moment in time when she was texting with her estranged mother. Her belief at that moment is "My mother doesn't want to know me." BK: We're meditating on "She doesn't want to know me"—is it true?" The answer is always one syllable: yes or no. Notice the other thoughts that arise around this, and gently go back to the question. Do you see images of you and her in the past and the future? Is that you or imagination? Together, they question statements like "I want my mom to acknowledge me," "I want her to admit that she screwed up," "She should apologize for the past," "She shouldn’t expect me to parent her," and "She should admit she's a psychopath." "You cannot experience rage unless you're in a movie." —Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
May 23, 2017
Byron Katie describes in detail how to put the mind on paper by meditating on a stressful moment and filling in a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. Participants at an Ojai event write a Worksheet about a situation with someone they experienced as hurtful. She guides them to witness the situation, to get in touch with the feelings they were experiencing in that moment, and to notice every detail of the moment: where they were, the time of day, who else was there, etc. In stillness, they remain with their attention focused on that moment, notice what arises, and fill in each statement, using short, simple sentences. For example: "I want him to acknowledge me" or "I want him to stop lying to me." It's fine to write just one statement, and it's fine to write more than one. "This is a process, "Katie explains, "of transferring to paper everything you experienced in that situation. The thoughts may sound immature or unenlightened to you, but you want to identify whatever you were believing in that moment that would move you from peace. You want to write down what produces the upset in your life." "All war belongs on paper." —Byron Katie DOWNLOAD Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet: http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloads/worksheets/JudgeYourNeighbor_Worksheet.pdf Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
May 16, 2017
Bryan asks Byron Katie about releasing outcomes and the belief that he is unemployed. BRYAN: How do you keep from feeling anxious about results when it relates to one's livelihood? BK: Whose business is it whom they hire? BRYAN: Their business. BK: And what happens to your life when you mentally go into their business? BRYAN: That's where the anxiety comes in. BK: For all of you, I invite you to notice how much effort it takes to be in someone else's business. This noticing can bring you right back to your own business. You are a miracle being lived, but when you're out of your business, you miss what's really going on. Note: Bryan learned about The Work of Byron Katie when Jenny McCarthy mentioned Katie on the Rosie show. © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
May 9, 2017
Byron Katie and Susan Stiffelman talk about The Work and parenting teens, tweens, children, and grandchildren. They briefly discuss Katie's new book, A Mind at Home with Itself, the hair-raising, inspiring story of Katie's first year after her awakening experience. What is The Work? The Work makes it clear that the cause of our suffering is not what happens to us; it's what we believe about what happens. SS: My suggestion to parents is to slow down and stay as present as possible with the truth of what our child is going through, not the superimposed story of what we think the child is experiencing. The Work is an incredible tool for helping us be present. BK: Yes, it quiets the mind so that we can listen and get enough understanding to really connect with our children--enough to grasp what they are saying as opposed to what we think they're saying. We have no idea what kids are going through, even when they tell us. So my only job as a parent or grandparent is to really listen to them, and to love love them. Love is the power. SS: What about when children get sassy, mimic us, or roll their eyes at us? BK: If one of my grandchildren mimicked me, it would give me a look at myself. I would get to see how I sound to them and how I look to them. If I don't like that mirror, it shows me how not to approach my grandchild. They are always teaching me. I'm not teaching them; it's the other way around. So it's always about being a student. If we really heard ourselves, we'd understand why our children don't want to listen to us. Can we really listen to them? That's the question. —Byron Katie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
May 2, 2017
Eileen Fisher speaks with Byron Katie about The Work and its relationship to the body. BK: All four questions are an invitation to get still and meditate to witness what arises. The experience in the body can be anything from slight discomfort to terror, in response to the "one-man show" playing in your mind. Eileen: I have trouble with anxiety. BK: Let's look at anxiety. I invite Eileen and everyone to find a moment in time, a situation, when you were experiencing anxiety. When you find the moment, notice what you were thinking and believing. What judgments were happening as you experienced the anxiety? So all we are doing really is meditating on a moment in time. It takes stillness. It doesn't matter when the moment occurred; just get still enough to notice what you were thinking, imagining, and believing. Eileen: I notice the thought "I'm not good enough." BK (to the audience): Familiar? Is there anyone who has not experienced the thought "I'm not good enough"? (Laughter.) Katie proceeds to guide Eileen and the audience through the four questions and turnarounds on this common thought to rediscover the clarity within each of us. It's not life that is causing stress within us; it's what we believe about life. --Byron Katie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
April 28, 2017
Byron Katie and Soren Gordhamer discuss bringing inquiry to our thoughts about politics. Soren: The recent election has triggered us in many different ways. We typically ignore or react to these triggers, but what is a third way that can create a new world, rather than the division we currently experience? We can begin by questioning our thoughts, but if I don't believe the stressful thought, can I still fight for the things I feel a need to fight for? BK: I wanted to change the world, so I questioned what I believed about the world, and the world changed. In other words: I wanted to change the world, so I questioned my judgments, assumptions, and beliefs about the world, and the world changed, as my mind made the shift. The universe is friendly, but what we're thinking and believing about the world may not be. —Byron Katie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com"
February 10, 2017
"Carmella from Atlanta lost her temper with close friends and made them leave her home. She asks, How do I get over this without forgiveness and without any accountability from them? Byron Katie says, I can only be accountable for my part; that’s all I can do. What I am thinking and believing is what causes my anger, not anything that they said or did. Katie guided her in meditating on the moment when she was angry, so that she can capture her thoughts on paper, question them, and set herself free. copyright 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit the work.com"
February 3, 2017
A woman suffering from a deep-seated fear of Donald Trump questions her many thoughts about him. "He will create concentration camps," she has written on her Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, "cause a nuclear war, and ruin the environment. I want him to not be president, to disappear, or at least to get a better, kinder set of cabinet members. He should step aside and offer the space to Hillary Clinton or another Republican candidate. Trump shouldn't say things that are racist, sexist, able-ist, homophobic, and xenophobic." Slowly, with Katie's help, she questions these terrifying thoughts, sometimes with the help of the audience, and the heaviness of the thoughts begins to dissolve. After completing the inquiry, she has a moment of insight, as she realizes that it is the thoughts that create her fear, not Trump. She proceeds to tear up her Worksheet in a flourish of delight, to cheers from the audience. Katie turns to her with a smile and says, "You've just made America great again!" © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
January 27, 2017
Dixie is frightened by Donald Trump because she's afraid he will dismantle Obamacare and Social Security, ruin our economy, deport her immigrant neighbors, undermine the effort to combat global warming, abolish women's reproductive rights, put us at risk of nuclear war, risk planetary destruction, and take away her hope for our country. As Byron Katie helps her question her fears, Dixie begins to understand how it's the images in her mind that frighten her, not Donald Trump. "When we believe our thoughts," Katie says, "we're hypnotized. This very moment is the only opportunity we have to make real change. The gift of life goes on no matter what you're thinking and believing. Reality is always kinder than the story we're believing about it." Follow-up message from Dixie: "For the first time since November 8th, I am meeting the new morning on its own terms. And as a result, in this moment, all is well in "my kitchen." Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
January 24, 2017
A young woman who is afraid to love again questions her worst fears with the help of Byron Katie. "The ego's job is to kill everything but itself," Katie says. "Until it's questioned, the heart stays closed, and we live very carefully and very alone—even with someone." Watch as this woman explores her assumptions about herself and about men and finds the open heart that, minutes before, she couldn't even imagine. © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
January 13, 2017
A woman does The Work with Byron Katie on her upset with her partner, who fell off a mountain in Yosemite and died. She feels sick when she thinks of the situation. "These emotions don't happen," Katie says, "unless we're witnessing images of past and future. That's why people love living in the now--in reality." When the woman turns the statement around to "She fell off the mountain, and I died," she finds that this is as true or truer, and she sees that her pain is not about her partner at all, but about herself. "Even sadness is a tantrum," Katie says. "It's a war with what is. When we get still, we see that our bereavement is really all about ourselves." By the end of their inquiry together, the thought "She abandoned me" no longer has any truth for the woman, and she begins to find humor in her original statements. "Love includes; fear excludes." —Byron Katie, Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie ©2013 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
December 30, 2016
"A young woman asks Byron Katie during a live webcast "How do I deal with the intense moments at night when the urge to eat is so strong?" Katie says that after doing The Work day after day, her addictions quit her. She explains that if you sit and wait, issues about your mother, father, sister, brother, boss, employee, etc., will show you which Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet to work on next. "You're 100% innocent," says Katie. "You're living a dream, and these four questions and turnarounds will wake you up." © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
December 23, 2016
Jess Lively talks with Byron Katie. "Learning from Katie has been one of the most helpful things I have done in my life. Her perspective on suffering has radically shifted my perspective." THE WORK IN ACTION: Katie questions the thought "He doesn't understand me." Through inquiry, she finds how she would hurt herself and others if she believed this thought. She also applies this same inquiry to the U.S. election and how we view our candidates. BK: Where is it that I don't understand him or her? I can learn a lot from this question. It doesn't mean that my vote will change. I can blame them for my suffering, but the truth is that I am the cause of my own suffering, and that's how I hurt myself. No one can hurt me--that's my job. Inquiry makes that so clear! How can I attack someone else, and then talk about peace? How can I be such a hypocrite and so asleep to myself? Understanding this makes me really humble in my relationships and better able to hear others. TURNAROUNDS: Katie explains how turnarounds can leave us curious about people and solutions, and shift our intention from wanting to be right to something more genuine. BK: When I understand myself, I understand the other. Without a story, there's an understanding that surpasses everything. We can be connected to life. Other than what we're thinking and believing, we're always fine, right here, right now. If I'm living even a nanosecond into the future, I am the cause of my suffering. What's at the center? Perfect peace, and in that we're all okay. Jess: Do we have to suffer to get this? BK: I think that every human being has suffered enough up to this moment. And what I love about this moment is that all suffering is in the past. Jess experiences an opening within herself from Katie's explanation of pain, past remembrance, and future projection. UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF Jess: What about the quote that "No one will ever understand you, and realizing this is freedom"? How is that so? BK: If you don't understand you, how can I? If I don't understand myself, how can I expect you to? I am the projector of my world. No two humans live in the same world. To understand yourself is to change your entire world, not ours. UNDERSTANDING YOUR WORLD Jess: How can we understand our world? BK: For me it always goes back to inquiry. Then the mystery ceases, and we can live without a past or future, in the excitement of now, living like a child, in a world where everything is new. If we can't end the war within ourselves, how can we end war in the world? As we question our fearful thoughts, mind ends the war with itself; it can find a home in itself; the war is gone, and we're just living this amazing life. Only you can question what you believe. Undoing the world that you believe is a matter of starting with your trivial discomforts and questioning them. Just go to thework.com, download a Worksheet, fill it in, and sit with your beautiful self. ©2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
December 16, 2016
A young woman states "I'm devastated because my father is dead." Byron Katie asks her "How do you react when you believe that thought?" Woman: "When I believe that thought, I feel sick, I imagine his pain, I feel powerless." BK: "Where does your father live now?" Woman: "In my mind." BK: "Where did he live before he died? Same place." Together, they investigate thoughts like "I want him to be alive," "He should be at peace," "He's gone forever," and "He's the provider." "If you go slow and meditate on what you've written on your Worksheet, one beloved assumption at a time, what answers these questions will wake you up." —Byron Katie ©2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
December 2, 2016
A woman does The Work on a moment in time when she was texting with her estranged mother. Her belief at that moment is "My mother doesn't want to know me." BK: "We're meditating on "She doesn't want to know me-is it true?" The answer is always one syllable: yes or no. Notice the other thoughts that arise around this, and gently go back to the question. Do you see images of you and her in the past and the future? Is that you or imagination?" Together, they question statements like "I want my mom to acknowledge me," "I want her to admit that she screwed up," "She should apologize for the past," "She shouldn't expect me to parent her," and "She should admit she's a psychopath." "You cannot experience rage unless you're in a movie." -Byron Katie ©2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
October 25, 2016
Sameer from London believes that he needs to do it all or he won't survive, even though he knows it's not true. "The ego loves the thought 'I know it's not true,'" Byron Katie explains. "That immediately tells me that I need to Work that thought, since I really don't know what's true for me until I question it." After Sameer questions the thought, Katie suggests a turnaround: "I will be able to do it all, and I won't survive." "That feels really uncomfortable," Sameer says. "I have a fear of being nothing." "It's just identity we're dealing with," Katie says. "It's not the life and death of the body, but of who you believe you are," Katie says. "In this moment, while we are talking together, the world is what it should be, and it's comforting to realize that it doesn't need me at all." "I love the thought that I don't need to survive," Sameer says. ©2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
October 18, 2016
Ting Zhao from Georgia asks, "Do you suggest that we do The Work the moment we're upset about something or someone?" "If you are able to, yes," Katie says, "and if not, just do The Work on that moment when you can, and be as kind as you can in the situation." © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
October 11, 2016
Chandika from Oregon says, "I'm addicted to comparing myself to other people. I can’t stop myself." Byron Katie helps her use her sister as an example. "'You're comparing yourself to your sister'—is it true? Is that really you and your sister that you're seeing, or is it images in your head? You're comparing nothing with nothing—just images of the two of you. Any time you think you're comparing yourself with anyone else, just ask yourself 'Is it true?'" "Just notice what happens when you think you're comparing," Katie says. "It's all about noticing. When we're just noticing, the mind is not at war with itself." © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com."
October 7, 2016
Rawan from Egypt explains that even after much success with The Work, she feels that there is still something rotten inside her. Byron Katie says that she too had felt that way, and that it was true: there was something rotten inside her. "It was my unquestioned judgments about me and you." I have done Worksheets on this, and the feeling disappeared for a while, but then it comes back," Rawan says. "Judgments that go against our heart start to accumulate," Katie says, "and they can override the enlightenment you found with the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. I don’t call it The Work for nothing. It’s a daily practice. Every morning, identify a new judgment, close your eyes, and ask the four questions. Throughout the day, write down every rotten, unkind judgment you have. Then later fill out a full Worksheet and set yourself free." © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
September 9, 2016
Byron Katie meets online with several participants from the July 2016 School for The Work (Bad Neuenahr, Germany). Topics include doing The Work with a motive; allowing the answers to surface as you ask the questions; The Work on pain, food, shame, and parents; noticing stressful thoughts; and questioning beliefs like "They need to do The Work," "She's a beggar," "Life will lose its meaning," and "He cancelled on me." We're always learning who we would be without the thought. --Byron Katie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
July 15, 2016
Lilou: People are really going through hard times with depression and suicide, etc. What is your perception of this? BK: People are projecting the past and the future in their minds. When you imagine what the future will be, fear is created. Now is the only time we can really live in. I always say, that if you want a little fear and terror, get a future. I invite people to put their thoughts on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. The power of The Work is the answers that arise from the individual doing The Work. As we tap into that knowledge inside us, we find freedom. That's why inquiry is so powerful. The Work is a beautiful way to peace, and it doesn't require a teacher. Lilou: I hear that you received The Work in a moment, kind of like Eckhart Tolle. BK: The valuable thing about that moment for me was: I saw that when I believed my thoughts I suffered, and when I didn’t believe them I didn’t suffer. I’ve come to see that this is true for every human being. In that moment, it was very clear to me, but when I tried to tell people about it, there was no way it could be described. So the questions take people into that experience. Lilou: How did you work out this radical shift in yourself with your family? BK: Well, I had been agoraphobic. After my eyes were opened to reality, my family wondered "Who is this high-functioning and non-reactive woman? What is living in that body we call our mother?" They were constantly waiting for an angry reaction that never came. It was very confusing for them. I invited them to say whatever they wanted to say. They began to introduce me to my old self. That's how I kept one foot in what I call the dream-world, without being the dream. Lilou: How do we know if we're taking the right actions in life? BK: There's no argument in your mind. If you choose to turn to the left, or to the right, or do nothing, the worst that can happen is what you're thinking and believing. All the while you're on the perfect path. Lilou: So you're saying that reality is this movie we're in, that we're living, and creating, and everything is right there, as we project it. BK: Yes, in the moment. The images in our minds, and the thoughts we're believing about the images, the way we define what we see--all this is happening in the moment. Believing that we're that image can be terrifying, but if you're witnessing the images out of a clear mind, they can be incredibly loving, dear, and enlightening. Lilou: You have that grace and you can describe it, and we want to live there. It seems permanent with you. Some people experiencing The Work have it on and off, so it's a continuous exercise. BK: The Work is a practice, and I recommend that people do it every day. I invite people to identify any thought that causes them stress, to write it down, and to question it. Each time people do that, they become clearer, kinder, more loving human beings. And their whole world begins to shift. The world is internal. As the mind shifts, the world shifts. Thoughts create the world, as you perceive it. As the mind continues to question itself, it falls in love with itself and begins to project a beautiful world. This is the opposite of denial. It's seeing out of your true self. If you see the world as a frightening place, don't try to change it, look to your own mind. Lilou: How do we get from the four questions to a nine-day intensive program, your School for The Work? The questions are very direct and simple. BK: No one needs to come to the School to set themselves free. I make this opportunity available to people who want to immerse themselves in inquiry. It's a very powerful experience, and almost everyone who comes walks out a transformed person. I hear this over and over. During these nine days, I take people through every possible source of stress, including fear and terror, the physical body, prejudice, gender, sex, communication, relationships, the things they are most ashamed of, and God. The curriculum is nothing short of radical. Lilou: To find equilibrium in all areas: Is that what we're supposed to do? Are we supposed to do The Work on all areas for true happiness? BK: Yes, because ultimately every area has the potential to cause problems--in other words, to give rise to the unquestioned thoughts that cause our suffering. We have a continuation of the School through the Institute for The Work. It's an aftercare program that allows people to sit in The Work as a daily practice and as a community that is meditating on those questions. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
July 1, 2016
”If my partner has a flaw, who is believing that?" Byron Katie says. "Where's the flaw? If I'm the one seeing it, I am its creator." Katie offers a personal example of how we project our flaws onto others. With the eyes of love, she can see her ex-husband standing before her, perfect, acting in a way that other people think is unacceptable. Through self-inquiry, we too can see our partners clearly, without the filter of our judgments. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
June 22, 2016
Byron Katie talks with a woman who has been doing The Work on physical pain. Next, she discusses the post "Nothing you believe is true. To know this is freedom" with a young man from Vienna. He then asks her, "What if you've questioned a thought, but it comes again?" and "What is the taste of freedom?" © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
June 17, 2016
Byron Katie does The Work with callers from Moldova, Rhode Island, Sweden, Massachusetts, and the United Kingdom. She helps callers use The Work to question thoughts such as "My daughter should stop worrying me," "I need to forgive myself," and "My father has Alzheimer's." She also talks about the questions "If heaven is here now, why do you say you are in a hurry?," "How should the world react to the shootings in Paris?" and "Can religious extremists ever live peacefully side-by-side?" "The end of fear is the end of war." -Byron Katie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
June 10, 2016
A young woman is heartbroken because she believes that her boyfriend gave up on her. She describes being on a plane and hearing a song that she once sang to him. In that moment, she feels hopeless and angry at the world. Byron Katie guides her to drop into stillness, question the thought, and meditate on the turnaround "I gave up on him." "This is intimacy-mind understanding itself," Katie says. Other concepts she questions are: "I want him to see me," "I want him to give me another chance," "I want him to open his heart to me," "I want only him," "I want him to understand me," "He should see where I was coming from," "He shouldn't be so stubborn," "He should see how much I've changed," "He should see how good we could be now," "I need him to take me back," and "I need him to trust me." Katie invites her to turn each of these thoughts around and wake herself up. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
June 3, 2016
Melissa from Texas feels violated when she believes that her ex-husband read her journals. After questioning her belief, she notes that she violates herself with her constant fear, and by putting herself in situations that make her fearful. "Past and future are nothing," Katie points out. "When we believe our thoughts, we're in a movie, worried over nothing." After hearing this, it occurs to Melissa that she's been afraid of nothing her entire life. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
May 27, 2016
Helena from Germany recalls how overwhelmed she feels while sitting with her students on the first day of class and feeling unprepared for the semester. Byron Katie helps her to meditate on the situation, question her stressful thoughts, and find examples for the turnaround. Through this questioning, she comes to see that she is always prepared for anything to happen. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
May 20, 2016
Carey wants to change careers after eighteen years. "You haven't left yet because you're frightened to leave," Byron Katie says. "What do you fear will happen if you leave?" Carey is afraid she'll be poor and unable to pay for her child's college education. Katie helps her imagine a worst-case scenario out of which to write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, and then guides her in filling it in. Through this process, Carey begins to realize that she doesn't need a healthy body, a house, or money for school, to be happy. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
May 13, 2016
Carmella from Atlanta lost her temper with close friends and made them leave her home. She asks, "How do I get over this without forgiveness and without any accountability from them?" Byron Katie says, "I can be accountable for my part; that's all that I can do. What I am thinking and believing is what causes my anger, not anything that they said or did." Katie guides her in meditating on the moment when she was angry, so that she can capture her thoughts on paper, question them, and set herself free. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com
May 6, 2016
Cette visioconférence débute par un dialogue entre Byron Katie et un homme souffrant de dépression profonde. Elle l'aide à remplir une feuille 'Jugez-votre-voisin' avec des concepts provenant de la lettre qu'il lui a envoyée : « Je n'arrive pas à me lever », « J'ai besoin de savoir quoi faire de ma vie »,« J'ai besoin de réussir ». Au cours de la séance, il remarque les pensées qui l'empêchent de faire le Travail, son esprit s'ouvre à la possibilité de la paix. Une femme du Royaume-Uni remet en question une pensée concernant son mari : « Il me cache quelque chose ». Une femme en pleurs de l'État de Washington découvre qu'elle est accro à sa peur de la toxicomanie de son fils. Maria d'Allemagne éprouve de la douleur physique et de la faiblesse dues à une maladie chronique. Elle questionne les pensées : « J'ai tout le temps mal », « Je ne sais pas comment je vais continuer à vivre. » Enfin, une femme du Danemark demande : « Si j'aime toujours ce qui est, comment puis-je savoir quand il est temps de procéder à des changements ? » « Le changement se produit de lui-même », explique Katie. « Vous n’avez rien à faire. »
April 29, 2016
"If my partner has a flaw, who is believing that?" Byron Katie says. "Where's the flaw? If I'm the one seeing it, I am its creator." Katie offers a personal example of how we project our flaws onto others. With the eyes of love, she can see her ex-husband standing before her, perfect, acting in a way that other people think is unacceptable. Through self-inquiry, we too can see our partners clearly, without the filter of our judgments. For more information visit: Website: http://www.thework.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie
April 22, 2016
In this 11 February live webcast of Conversations with Byron Katie, six people from around the world speak with Katie. Angela from Pennsylvania wonders how to use The Work. After some support from Katie, she lands on a stressful concept: "I want a family vacation." Together they find that resting in connection can be at least as peaceful as a family vacation. Deep from South Australia is disturbed because he believes that "I needed to feel differently about her." Katie explains that feelings are the effect of belief. "I cannot feel without a prior belief. Think, feel, act, have. This is the order of creation. It's how we create this false world. And without your projections, you will never meet another person who is not the love of your life." Vincent from the Netherlands questions the belief "I need more money." He sees images of himself working hard, looking at a zero balance in his bank account, and then sees himself and his family on the street. After discovering how depleted his energy is from believing this thought, he begins to realize how kind and supportive reality is. Without the thought, he has the clarity to relax and be creative about his situation. Lila from Washington questions the belief "I'm physically limited." Through the four questions, she understands that her fears are based on images in her mind. "Your inability to walk is all in your mind," Katie says. Carolyn from New Zealand is stuck on the belief "I need to shut my feelings down." "Who made the decision to shut your feelings down?" Katie asks. Carolyn answers, "I did." "But only 100 percent," Katie adds. When we believe that others make us do things, we become separate, fearful, and shut down. The truth brings a nod and smile of understanding from Carolyn. Finally, Thomas from Germany wonders how to find his authentic yes and no. Katie walks him through the "Honest No" exercise from the School for The Work. The two of them role-play in a situation where Thomas is asking Katie for money. Katie gently models finding her authentic no in response to his pleas. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.
March 11, 2016
Kelly McNelis of Women for One speaks with Byron Katie. Kelly uses one of Katie's books, Who Would You Be Without Your Story? to support her community's mission, which is to share our stories in order to move through them rather than become them. Kelly brought along a filled-in Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet with the main concept 'She doesn’t like me.' The situation where she believes this thought is at a restaurant with the woman sitting to her right at a table. Katie guides Kelly through the four questions and the turnarounds, helping her to meditate on that particular moment. Through this meditative process, Kelly notices how she had shut down in the restaurant, cutting herself off from the other woman. She also notices that the other woman appears fearful, angry, and threatened. Finally, she finds examples for two turnarounds: that she doesn't like herself in that moment when she shuts down and that she doesn't like the other woman. Continuing through the Worksheet, Kelly also questions the statement 'I want her to be kind to me.' 'You're expecting her to do what you can't do yourself,' Katie says. Kelly, amazed, says, 'That's big!' Other questioned concepts included 'I'm fat and unattractive' and 'People are starving.' Our Work's not done until we're no longer at war with anyone or anything. —Byron Katie
March 4, 2016
CJ Liu interviews Byron Katie on her show ‘Fire it UP with CJ.’ Katie does The Work with CJ on a situation she experienced as spiritual rape. CJ gently settles into the role of the observer as she recalls the compromising situation. To her delight and amazement, she discovers that while she was believing her thoughts, she actually missed an incredible moment of unconditional love. With Katie’s loving support to hold her in the moment of trauma, the ego is seen through and CJ begins to drop in to her own innate clarity. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie. © 2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
January 29, 2016
Byron Katie guides Tina from Italy as she does The Work on one complete Worksheet. Tina is struggling with the belief that her boyfriend destroys her self-esteem when it comes to money. Tina questions beliefs such as: I want Reto to work on himself. He should look inside himself to see why he needs to underestimate me in order to feel stronger and better. He needs to be happy about my idea. I want him to support me and be more enthusiastic about my projects. I need him to be happy about my ideas. I need him to think that I can produce money. After questioning all the concepts on the Worksheet, Tina comes to realize the many ways that she was undermining her own self-esteem and her relationship with Reto by believing her thoughts. 'The Work is a practice,' Katie says. 'You identify what you were believing in a situation that caused you stress, then you question those thoughts, using the four questions and the turnarounds. This is how you can set yourself free.' Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie. ©2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
January 22, 2016
Valeria asks Byron Katie, 'What do you mean when you say We're not thinking; we're being thought?' 'It's just something I throw out there to help you understand that you don't have control-to see for yourself how much control you have over the thoughts that appear in your mind,' Katie says. 'In my world, I have none. Zero.' 'That works for me,' Katie says, 'because I understand that the universe is friendly. I understand our true nature. So I don’t need to have control. It's okay not to.' 'So where is our free will?' Valeria asks. 'It's an illusion,' Katie says. 'Wow,' Valeria says. 'Then the only thing we can do is identify the thinking, question it, and then decide.' 'Yes,' Katie says, 'and then see what you're left with,' Katie says with a big smile. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie. ©2016 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved
December 25, 2015
Ilonka tells Byron Katie that her children are among the many who have been injured by vaccines. How can she find peace through The Work when there are such injustices in the world? 'I flip-flop between being angry and trusting that there is a divine order to everything. How do I find peace when kids are suffering as sacrificial lambs to make the pharmaceutical companies richer?' 'Is it true?' Katie asks. 'Can you really know it's true that your children have been injured by vaccines?' The dialogue that follows is an example of how difficult it can be to do The Work when the ego's concepts are at stake. Katie points out repeatedly how the ego puts up fierce resistance to giving honest answers to the four questions of The Work. 'How do you deal best with social injustice?' Katie asks. 'When you're worried or when you’re free? So do The Work. Do it for the love of peace, which is more important than anything.' Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie. copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
December 18, 2015
If you want freedom, Byron Katie says, write down your stressful thoughts. Self-inquiry depends on understanding exactly what your suffering is made of, Katie tells a man who teaches a class in journaling. Without that stable base, the ego wriggles out of direct examination. The Work begins with an inventory of stressful thoughts called a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. Once the list is in place, one can examine the truth of your beliefs without being sidetracked into defense or justification. 'You're the one who wrote down these thoughts,' Katie says. 'The ego can’t deny it.' Katie praises journaling as a kindred way of getting to the heart of one's troubles. What we see in journaling is thoughts such as 'I want, I need, they should, I shouldn't.' It's all there. The entire Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet will show up in journaling, so it's a powerful way of taking the first step toward understanding. Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyr... Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie. copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
December 11, 2015
Melanie notices that after she does The Work, moments of peace lead her to think she is more enlightened than she is. 'How can I do The Work more honestly?' she asks Byron Katie. 'How can I stop pretending that I have more understanding than I do?' Katie says that in those moments when you feel so free, you can question your thought. ''This is enlightenment—is it true?' You may be having an amazing experience,' she says. 'But then you put a label on it, and the 'I' is born, and that moves you from the experience. 'As for how you can do The Work more honestly,' Katie says. 'You just find a moment in time when you're stressed out. It could be the tiniest thing, like the Princess and the Pea. Then you see clearly why you were angry or disappointed, and that's how you do The Work more honestly. You come to trust the silence that so clearly shows you that situation. What a gift!' Website: http://www.thework.com Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/theworkofbk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByronKatie.
December 4, 2015
Amanda is angry at The Work, believing that it's keeping her from getting her needs met in her marriage. 'When I think about The Work, I feel angry that I have to give up my position that I'm right that my needs are not getting met,' she says. 'No matter what I think or feel, The Work leads me to invalidate it.' In the course of her discussion with Byron Katie, it becomes apparent that Amanda has misunderstood the turnaround, which is a way of experiencing the opposite of what you believe. 'If I believe he's not giving me enough affection, and I try to believe the opposite,' Katie says, 'that's just a con job, and we can't con ourselves.' The value of The Work, Katie says, is in its answers. The deeper the investigation, the clearer the answers. 'You don't answer the questions to change your mind. It's not a self-help thing. It's an exploration to know ourselves better. 'Maybe, after deep inquiry, Amanda will discover that she really isn't getting the affection she wants from her husband. But that doesn't leave her powerless,' Katie says. 'Alternatives become obvious once the pre-determined agenda is set aside and the mind becomes clear.' copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
November 27, 2015
A woman takes a closer look at her illness with the help of Byron Katie. At the start of their inquiry, she discovers that her beliefs about herself have hardened her suffering into place. 'So, sweetheart,' Katie asks, 'You're in physical pain constantly—is that true?' Maria pauses, and when she finds that her genuine answer is no, she sighs. 'You just got some of your life back,' Katie says. 'I, too, used to believe I was in constant pain, but through The Work I got pieces of my life back that I didn't even know existed.' After examining the consequences of her beliefs, Maria discovers examples where the opposite of her belief is as true or truer. Katie then encourages her to find examples of why she is actually better off not doing the things she can’t do. ‘I look at all the reasons I'm better off not walking,' Katie says, referring to a time when she was crippled by neuropathy. 'And the whole world opens up. That's the gift of pain. Everything is a gift, when we see it with a questioned mind.’ copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
November 20, 2015
Someone from the UK calls Byron Katie and asks about terrorism. 'Is there anyone in the world you can't live peacefully with, no matter how hard you've tried? That,' Katie says, 'is why there is terrorism in the world.' 'We have all experienced that,' Katie says. 'These are not extremists shooting people; they're mostly normal people, with the normal problems. You can't expect other people to do what you're unable to do. You can't expect them to change if you can't change.' Given the beliefs of a terrorist, the outcome is inevitable. If you believed what they believe, you would necessarily act as they do. The only solution is to question the beliefs that lead to violence and to notice where the sense of horror is being generated: in the mind of the person who is horrified. 'If there's any horror in it, that's the unenlightened mind,' Katie says. 'It's what you are believing about their response that is causing the hate in your world, the world of your understanding. That is where it gets horrific.' What thoughts are you believing that make peaceful coexistence impossible with a partner or a child? Katie invites her caller to make an inventory of those thoughts on the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. 'Whether that person loves me or hates me, if I can live peacefully with them, that's the end of one religious fanatic: me.' copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
November 13, 2015
A caller asks Byron Katie why she was in a hurry to free herself from suffering. 'I didn't want to hurt anymore,' Katie says. 'That's why I was in a hurry.' Katie's answer is that even the slightest sense of unease is a reason to do The Work. The Work is a meditative noticing of the inner workings of the mind and taking full responsibility for what you see. Anything short of peace can be put up against four questions and turnarounds. The mind continually generates images that have the potential to disrupt your equanimity. The Work is preventative medicine. The sole cause of suffering, Katie says, is our unquestioned beliefs. The solution? Question them. When you question your stressful beliefs, you don't need to let go of them. They let go of you. copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
November 6, 2015
'Byron Katie traces the cause of all suffering back to the ego-mind and then points the way to freedom. In a departure from her better-known vivisection of judgments and stories, here Katie examines at an intimate level the subtle nature of mental fabrications and that which illuminates them. Katie begins by taking a question from a caller who wants to discern the difference between answers that come from the heart or the head. Together they examine the truthfulness of the thought, 'My daughter is in danger,' and make discoveries that go beyond a simple yes or no. 'I see an image of me,' Katie says, relating her process of witnessing. 'It could take years of meditation for some people to notice this, but I see that image of me witnessing her. Did you find it? So who is that?' Katie says that people think that when they're observing, say, the image of their daughter, that's all there is. But, she says, if you sit long enough, you may begin to notice there is 'a very thin, subtle identity watching, and that is just one more image.' This, Katie says, is the false witness, a fabrication of the ego which she calls exciting and beautiful in its trickery. Once the mind is open to what is being shown through self-inquiry, the nature of identification clarifies. 'This leaves the meditator as witness and not the inner or outer doer at all, until,' she says, 'the meditator vanishes.' copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.'
October 30, 2015
'Alzheimer's. 'It scares me terribly to see my father get worse and worse and not to know if this terrible disease will happen to me. It sometimes feels like my life is over.' Katie invites her to consider if it's really true that her father has Alzheimer's. The questioning is heavy slogging at first, but using The Work, Anna moves from tears to laughter in fifteen minutes. 'You get really scared,' Katie says, 'because you see an image of him dying young, and then you see an image of you dying young because you have the gene. Is it Alzheimer's that's causing your dementia, or is it the movie you’re watching?' 'It’s the movie,' Anna says. Next Katie guides Anna into worst-case scenarios, ones that she has been innocently frightening herself with, where a physician delivers a devastating diagnosis. Once Anna has questioned her thoughts, Katie says, the only one in the room who would be upset would be the doctor.' copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.'
October 23, 2015
'Sharon feels an easy rapport with the animals and visitors at the zoo where she volunteers, but when it comes to her friends, something doesn’t click. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,’ she says. ‘I do The Work daily. I just want to be a good person. I just want to laugh.’ ‘Oh, honey,’ says Katie, ‘you already are a good person; there’s nothing you can do about that. You don’t have a choice. And any thought that you may be believing that opposes it is going to feel like stress.’ In answer to Sharon’s worry about not being invited out, Katie says that being alone can never be a bad thing as long as she loves her thoughts. And social invitations only come when necessary. ‘You’d be amazed at the invitations you might get that you have to say no to, and it could be you’re not quite ready for that kind of interaction. Who knows? And the animals at the zoo are lucky to have someone as quiet and lovely as you. Humans are animals too. You shouldn’t expect too much from them.’ ‘Oh, that feels so much better,’ Sharon says. ‘There was such a big tightness in my chest for so long. Thank you so much.’ copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.'
October 16, 2015
’How can I have a loving and mutually respectful relationship with my twenty-year-old son when I find him impossible to live with?’ Alison asks Byron Katie. She says she is hurt because her son refuses to talk to her. Once she begins to question her thoughts, with Byron Katie’s guidance, she realizes that she has been interpreting her son’s silence as hatred, rejection, and proof she’s failed as a mother. ‘We become angry,’ Katie says, ‘when we think that our children are supposed to listen to us. Thoughts like this could use some questioning. Are we listening to us? Are we listening to them?’ copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
October 9, 2015
’How do I cope with my son’s drug addiction?’ Tamara asks Byron Katie. Katie tells her that she lived the same dilemma with her own daughter, who was addicted to drugs and alcohol. The resolution, she says, was not in her daughter’s eventual sobriety, but in Katie’s noticing her own mental addiction to suffering and finding sobriety from that.’ Your son does drugs, and you get your hit by believing the horror movies in your head,’ Katie says. ‘I did this Work, and I set myself free. It was so attractive to my daughter that she ended up setting herself free.’ copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
October 2, 2015
Michelle wonders if her allergies are psychosomatic and if she can get rid of the thoughts that cause them.'I can't get rid of a thought,' Katie says. 'But if I question it and see something that is truer, then I can never believe that thought again.' 'My mother programmed me to believe that I had allergies,' Michelle says. As she questions this thought, she realizes what a burden it is and how much stronger and freer she feels without it. 'If you believed that thought,' Katie says, 'how can you blame your mother? The only thing she's guilty of is believing it, just like you, so there's nothing to forgive.' copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
September 25, 2015
Shamyla tells Byron Katie that The Work has led to a deep forgiveness of others but not of herself. As Katie takes her back to an incident that has caused the pain, Shamyla finds that the evidence of her misdeed is shaky at best. ‘To hold its identity,’ Katie says, ‘the ego has to hold on to the illusions that keep us hooked until our deathbed. Inquiry shows us a whole different world that we have no access to when we are believing our stressful thoughts.’ copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.
September 18, 2015
After her teenage daughter drops out of school and pursues alcohol and drugs, Angela contemplates what it means to be her mother. She says she wants to show her fourteen-year-old the way, but she doesn’t know what that would be.’I didn’t know, either,’ Byron Katie says, remembering how her daughter wouldn’t listen to her. But when Katie began to question her stressful thoughts, everything grew clear. When Angela tells Katie that it’s her duty to take care of her daughter, Katie suggests that she question the thought ‘I’m her mother.’ ‘You’re her mother’—is it true?’ After Katie guides her through the four questions of The Work, Angela turns the thought around: ‘I am not her mother.’ ‘Can you see that out-of-control, terrified woman?’ Katie says. ‘That’s not her mother. That’s not what I was when I was so out of control with my daughter. It’s not the mother I wanted for my daughter. I loved her so deeply, and that didn’t look like a loving mother to me. And once I went deeper into this turnaround, everything shifted. My daughter discovered the power of The Work, and she didn’t have to go through the suffering I went through. Now she’s a mother herself, and an excellent one.’ copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com."
September 11, 2015
In this interview with Stever Robbins, Byron Katie shares her insights on how to respond with integrity when answering a request for help. copyright2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com."
September 4, 2015
’I’m stuck in a bottomless pit,’ Julian tells Byron Katie, describing a years-long depression that makes him doubt whether he can even get out of bed.’ That’s my story, too,’ Katie says. ‘And there’s no one who can understand you if they haven’t been there. It’s horrible, horrible.’ The way out, she says, was to isolate the thoughts that were causing the horror and then to question them. Katie helps him get started by using his story to fill out a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. With Katie’s help, Julian contemplates how it would be for him without the thought that he can’t get out of bed, and notices that he would have no problem. ‘I would just be lying in bed at peace,’ he says. copyright 2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com."
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