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June 4, 2020
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?” They then explore managing stress through being present and intentional. Three questions to help you become present: What am I doing right now? What feelings am I having right now? What is happening in my body right now? Approach these questions with curiosity. Don’t ask with an intention to fix. The intention is just to notice. You can explore self-management and self-awareness in the archive using the filters: Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development You can take a deeper dive with these five episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks Connecting Over Video Inviting Dialogue Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Mindful Executive The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Until next month, wishing you health and safety!
May 7, 2020
SHOWNOTES: This month’s coaching conversation is with a leader who wants to keep strong connections despite the quarantine. She and Tom explore the barriers that make connecting over video so difficult. Four essentials to attend to on video: Angle Lighting Background Sound From Tom to you: These difficult times can create a lot of fear. An antidote is to be curious. Curiosity is at the very heart of coaching. If I can help in anyway, let me know. Go to https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ and let me know what would be helpful. There is always help for you in the archive. Filters that relate to this month’s episode are: Executive Presence Perception – How You’re Perceived Leading Teams Managing Yourself   Five related episodes are: Video Feedback & Executive Presence Executive Presenting High-Stakes Meetings Building Emotional Intelligence The Human Element The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Stay safe all you wonderful humans! Until next month!
April 2, 2020
This month’s coaching conversation explores how to project your personal brand into the workplace. When done well it can seem like a Jedi mind trick – but it’s really just personal branding. Here are the five links Tom mentioned in the episode. Looking good in video conferencing https://medium.com/@bobsacha/a-cinematographers-guide-to-looking-good-in-web-based-video-conferencing-fb6cf651714c   4 Ways to Improve Video Meetings https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/03/22/these-four-techniques-will-instantly-improve-your-videoconferences-with-remote-employees/amp/ Coronavirus Doctor Empowers Us https://vimeo.com/399733860   “That Discomfort You’re Feeling…” https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Executive Coaching Group https://www.icfla.org/event/executive-coaching-sig/   Core Concepts in this episode: > We brand ourselves with our self-talk every day > Find language to help you talk about yourself > Talking about yourself is not a bad thing > Find words that spark an image of the brand you want to be. Think of them as often as you can. Related Archive Categories: Executive Presence, Perception – How You’re Perceived Self-Talk Related Tips & Episodes: Becoming Expert Acting On The Corporate Stage The Voice of Authority Conquering Fear Achieving Authenticity   The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks everyone. Stay safe. Stay Home! Do it for the First Team! See you next month!
March 5, 2020
This month’s coaching conversation is with a high-performer who was passed over for a promotion. Together, she and Tom identify tools to make sure she doesn’t get passed over again. Core Concepts in this episode: > Aisha chose to NOT be self-promotional. In your organization, a more vocal approach may be effective. > Click out. Think from a higher altitude. Give yourself the promotion. > Networking is not evil. But have intention. Be a good detective. Related Archive Categories: Managing Yourself Related Tips & Episodes: Acting on the Corporate Stage Leading Teams Managing Former Peers Networking The Flexible Leader The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to Paul Ison and George Avelino. You guys are the best. And thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. So much thanks! See you next month!
February 6, 2020
This month’s coaching conversation isn’t so much a conversation as a fencing match. A newly installed president grills Tom about the coaching he’s been delivering at her company for years. There are two different strands you might follow from this episode. One is about coaching. You might listen to these episodes: Coaching Your People Coaching Versus Therapy Readiness in Coaching Another strand you might follow is about self-management. Episodes on that strand would be: Creating New Behaviors How Behaviors Change High Stakes Meetings You could also search the archive using the filters: Developing New Behaviors Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!
January 9, 2020
This month’s coaching conversation examines phrases we use that lead us into self-deception. Tom and his client explore why thinking errors so often remain invisible and, once revealed, what other words might be possible substitutions. SHOW NOTES: Tom mentions two books in this episode: “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden https://www.amazon.com/Raise-Your-Self-Esteem-Action-Oriented-Self-Confidence/dp/0553266462/ “The Four Agreement” by Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319 Related Tips & Episodes Don’t Take Anything Personally Self-Awareness & Self-Management Self-Limiting Beliefs Smoothing Harsh Edges Three Words You Should Never Say   This Tip is in five categories in the archive: For Women, Managing Yourself, Perception - How You Perceive Yourself, Personal Growth & Self-Development, Self-Talk   The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!
December 5, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the eternal struggle to depersonalize the events in our lives that feel so personal. Is it even possible to actualize the adage, “Don’t take it personally?” Tom mentions two books that can help you manage yourself so you don’t take things personally: The Four Agreements Six Pillars of Self-Esteem   In the archive, this Tip is in five categories: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Others Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are Acting on the Corporate Stage Animating Your Persona Don’t Take It Personally Self-Limiting Beliefs Taming the Wild Child Lots to browse through!   The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom: https://essentialcomm.com/contact From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks! See you next month!
November 14, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries. Tom mentions three books that will help you speak up and set boundaries:  Crucial Conversations https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/ The Four Agreements https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Toltec-Wisdom-Collection/dp/1878424580/ Leadership and Self-Deception https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-Out-Box/dp/1523097809/ If you want to receive a zip file with Executive Coaching Tips related to assertiveness, reach out to Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com This Tip is in four categories in the archive: Developing New Behaviors Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk For Women Lots to browse through! Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are Act “As If” The Executive Impostor The Many Parts of You Taming the Wild Child Self-Awareness & Self-Management The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/  Be in touch with Tom: https://essentialcomm.com/contact   From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks! See you next month!  
October 10, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation follows an executive’s journey from a bulldozer, rolling over people and their ideas, to a thoughtful seeker of ways to get his ideas heard while also building positive relationships. Related episodes are: Assertion versus Aggression Be Impeccable With Your Word Disagree Agreeably – yes, that was an episode long ago! Don’t Take It Personally The Conflict Conversation Sorting & Labeling This Tip is in four categories in the archive: Communication Skills Executive Presence For Women Relationship Building The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!
September 5, 2019
  This month’s coaching conversation centers on learning how to watch yourself on video. It might be uncomfortable at times, but the benefits are enormous. During the commentary, Tom talks about a checklist for you. It’s here. direct link: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Video-Review-Checklist.pdf Related episodes are Captivate Your Audience Executive Presenting “I Talk Too Fast!” Performing Like a TED Talker The Power of Rehearsal This Tip is in these categories in the archive: Executive Presence Feedback Presentation Skills Perception – How You Perceive Yourself The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Tom is at: info@essentialcomm.com From all of us here, thanks! See you next month!                    
August 8, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! Related episodes are: Sorting & Labeling A Breakdown of Listening Leadership & Listening Short Sounds Confident In the archive, this Tip is tagged in four categories Communication Skills Leadership Relationship Building Social Skills The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!
July 11, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader who finds herself in a storm of heavy seas. To help her find calm, Tom shares a technique from his past. You can grab the PDF that Tom mentions in this episode at: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/MindfulnessResources.pdf In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: For Women Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Related episodes are: Combating Emotional Hijacks Conquering Fear Eliminating Distractions Choosing Persistence The Mindful Executive The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version and get transcripts of each month’s episode at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks, all! See you next month! "The Look & Sound of Leadership" team
June 6, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation revolves around a former client’s direct report who is caught up in old wiring which is short-circuiting his effectiveness. This episode is tagged in six categories. Something of a record! For Women Management Skills Managing Yourself Perception – How Your Perceive Yourself Personal Growth & Self-DevelopmentSelf-Talk Here are eight, yes, eight related episodes. Combating Emotional Hijacks Conquering Fear Negative Self-Talk Self-Limiting Beliefs Self-Awareness & Self-Management Taming the Wild Child The Many Parts of You Unmasking a Stand-In The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for your iTunes reviews!!!
May 2, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership. During the episode, Mindy mentions two books: "Being the Boss" by Linda Hill & Kent Lineback "Thanks for the Feedback" by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen Five related episodes are: Discussing Difficult Behaviors Giving Powerful Feedback Handling Defensive Behaviors Soliciting Feedback Upward Feedback In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: Feedback Assertiveness Management Skills Managing Up The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ or info@essentialcomm.com Thanks for your reviews and ratings!
April 11, 2019
This months’ coaching conversation is with a leader who genuinely wants open dialogue with his direct reports but finds he may have been unintentionally limiting his conversations. In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Building Social Skills   Six related episodes are: Building Rapport Communicating With Clarity Creating New Behaviors Facilitating Open Dialogue Leadership & Listening Questions as Leadership The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/   Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for your iTunes reviews!
March 7, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader striving to become “more visible.” She and Tom imagine raising her presence by giving her a way to speak about herself as an expert without feeling like she’s bragging. A challenging needle to thread! If you want help on this topic, Tom mentioned a resource he strongly recommends “Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It” by Peggy Klaus. In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: For Women Executive Presence Perception - How You're Perceived Self-Talk Five related episodes are: Act “As If” Acting on the Corporate Stage Personal Branding Speaking Your Truth The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
February 7, 2019
  Internal promotions can be mixed blessings. Managing former peers has the potential to upset everyone. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to handle this live grenade with aplomb. Two books mentioned during the commentary: Difficult Conversions by Stone, Patton & Heen and Crucial Conversation by Patterson, et al. Lots of related episodes mentioned: Relating to the issue of clarity: Communicating with Clarity Creating Clarity Driving Your Message Home Sorting & Labeling Relating to the issue of managing people who are upset: Combating Emotional Hijacks Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Deep gratitude to those who post reviews. Thanks! Browse the entire archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com
January 10, 2019
This month’s coaching conversation explores the three pillars of executive presence. In this episode's commentary, Tom mentions research about Executive Presence conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation. The key findings are available at: https://www.talentinnovation.org/publication.cfm?publication=1340 Three episodes grew directly from ideas in that white paper: Gravitas Emotional Intelligence Showing Teeth The Executive Coaching Tips archive has a filter for "Executive Presence." It's at: https://essentialcomm.com/tag/executive-presence/ Four additional episodes you might listen to are: Conquering Fear Inhabiting Executive Presence Short Sounds Confident The Voice of Authority Browse the entire archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com
December 13, 2018
This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership. Tips related to the questions and answers in this episode are: A Breakdown of Listening The Executive Impostor Leadership and Listening Managing Trauma Self-Limiting Beliefs Mindy mentions: “Being The Boss” by Linda Hill. Google’s Aristotle Study Tom mentions: “What Color is Your Parachute” by Richard Boles Every episode is available at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com
November 8, 2018
This month’s coaching conversation explores that insidious feeling of being an impostor. Research tells us that the vast majority us experience this to some degree at one time or another. Here are ways to combat impostor syndrome. The two psychology professors mentioned in the episode were Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes at Georgia State University. The TED Talk is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whyUPLJZljE Related Categories in the podcast archive: For Women Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Related episodes are: Act “As If” Acting on the Corporate Stage Inhabiting Executive Presence Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Many Parts of You Browse the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/
October 4, 2018
A senior leader wants to give one of his direct reports the experience of leading her own offsite. This month’s coaching conversation is about how a leader can foster an offsite with the power to create change. AN INVITATION: Send us questions for our upcoming Q&A episodes! Send your questions to info@essentialcomm.com In the episode, there are many resources to help you learn to lead activities with your team. The six mentioned in the show are: "The Fieldbook of Team Interventions" by Harry Eggleton LiberatingStructures.com Thiagi.com "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni "Overcoming the Five Dysfuctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni "Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta" April 2016, The Look & Sound of Leaderhip "Personal Histories as Your Brand" May 2016, The Look & Sound of Leadership Five episodes to help you build your team leadership skills: Facilitating Open Dialogue Leading Teams Questions as Leadership Your Team’s Best Interest – Part One Your Team’s Best Interest – Part Two Don't forget to send us your questions!
September 6, 2018
A coaching client needs to exude more presence. Tom proposes a visualization process and walks another coach through it. In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories: Developing New Behaviors, Perception - How You Perceive Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Five related episodes are: Acting on the Corporate Stage Creating New Behaviors Inhabiting Executive Presence Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Many Parts of You Plus, if you want to hear about why our brains find visualization so powerful, listen to: Prepping Like A TED Talker. Five listeners posted reviews in iTunes this month. Thanks go out to: In the US, Rmb4 catalyst leader Lisabobbi Then, from the UK, Ewen C And from India, FP PJ Sharma Thanks. We couldn't keep growing without this steady stream of support. Thanks so much! Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
August 9, 2018
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a feedback technique that can help manage bad behavior. The coachee likes the technique so much, he wants to try it on his high performers, too! Related episodes: Discussing Difficult Behaviors Holding People Accountable Managing Disruptive Executives Managing Performance: Up or Out Sorting & Labeling Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ To everyone who has ever posted a review for the show in iTunes -- THANK YOU! If you haven't yet, please do. Our survival depends on it. Thanks!
July 12, 2018
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on developing someone who may be a trauma survivor. A team leader’s compassionate caution may not be in the survivor’s best interest. Related episodes: Dealing with Emotional Responses Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries Managing Beyond Bad Behavior Showing Teeth Speaking Your Truth Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thank you so much for your reviews. It's hard to convey how meaningful those are. You help keep the podcast alive when you post a review. Thanks!
June 7, 2018
This month’s coaching conversation features a high-performing client who sometimes wrestles with her fear. Knowing that her fear can diminish her, she seeks a way out. Tom also talks about the new course "Improv for Leaders” taught by improv master Jeremy Rowley. Related epsidoes this month: The Many Parts of You Combating Emotional Hijacks Conquering Fear Negative Self-Talk Self-Limiting Beliefs Unmasking a Stand-In Managing Nervousness Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ And thank you so very much for your reviews. Your contribution is beyond measure when you take a moment to post a review. Thank you!
May 3, 2018
Why do some coaching engagements achieve positive transformations while others get stuck in the starting gate? This month’s coaching conversation explores who’s coachable, who isn’t, and why. The PDF discussed during this episode can be downloaded at: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/ReadinessInCoaching.pdf The “Who’s Coachable?” episode containing the eight-item list from 2008 is available at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/whos-coachable/ Aside from the “Who’s Coachable?” episode, four other episodes that echo the motifs in this month's Executive Coaching Tip are: Leading Teams Managing Disruptive Executives Managing Performance: Up or Out Resolving Conflict Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com
April 5, 2018
360-degree feedback can be intense. Or confusing. Like many reports, it often needs explaining, even if the information is familiar. This month’s coaching conversation explores the many sides of 360s. Curious to learn more about 360s? Listen to Tom's interview on "Coaching for Leaders." https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/341/ Want to learn more about quantative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact Envisia Learning. envisialearning.com Want to learn about qualitative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact us. info@esssentialcomm.com Want to see a sample of a qualitative feedback report? https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Sample-360-degree-Feedback-Report.pdf Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com
March 8, 2018
  Who wouldn’t benefit from heftier influence? This month’s coaching conversation digs into two ways to build your influence bank account. During this month's episode, Tom talks about a behavioral self-assessment called DiSC. See a sample DiSC report here: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/AlexBradley.pdf If you're looking for more Executive Coaching Tips about influence, check the archive filter: "Perception -- How You're Perceived." There's a lot there about influence. https://essentialcomm.com/tag/perception-how-youre-perceived/ Tom explained a five-point Influence model on "The Everyday Innovator" podcast with Chad McAllister. Episode #162. https://productinnovationeducators.com/blog/tei-162-how-product-managers-can-influence-people-with-tom-henschel/ Five "Look & Sound of Leadership" episodes relating to this month's conversation are: A Breakdown of Listening Building Empathy Building Rapport Getting Agreement Your Goodwill Bank Account What sort of problems would you like to hear about on the podcast? Write me: podcasts@essentialcomm.com or https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
February 1, 2018
Some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective management. And some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective leadership. This episodes explores those differences.
January 11, 2018
Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead.Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead. If you're interested in related episodes, you can search the archive under "Leadership" and/or "Management Skills." Those are at:https://essentialcomm.com/tag/leadership/ and https://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/ Five specific episodes you can listen to are Building Empathy Dynamic One-on-Ones How Teams Fight Taming Meetings The Voice of Authority During the episode, three lists are built. Here they are: Leadership behaviors: Motivating Aligning Recognizing patterns Creating visions and strategies Management actions: Staffing Budgeting Controlling Measuring Problem solving Relationship skills: Strong, positive networks The ability to persuade Having influence Using emotional intelligence The thought leader about leadership versus management is John Kotter from Harvard Business School. He has many books and articles that explore this topic in depth.
December 7, 2017
What do you say when you’re in an argument? And how can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” that began last month. In this installment, scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. To sharpen your skills, read "Difficult Conversations" by Stone, Patton & Heen from the Harvard Negotiation Project. It's very friendly and very powerful. Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/
November 2, 2017
Conflict is inevitable. But most of us were never taught the skills that would help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called ‘Conflict.’ This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. The book Tom references in this episode: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Stone, Patton & Heen. Related episodes this month are: A Difficult Conversation Disagree Agreeably Getting Agreement Repairing Damaged Relationships Resolving Conflict In the Tips archive is a category called "Relationship Building." Many episodes there have useful tools, too. Help yourself. https://essentialcomm.com/tag/relationship-building/
October 5, 2017
There are a million ways to conduct one-on-one meetings with direct reports. How you run yours will reflect your personal style. This month’s coaching conversation focuses on specific best practices that will enhance your one-on-ones no matter what your style. In the commentary portion of this month's episode is a question for you. Share your thoughts in an email to: info@essentialcomm.com You can sharpen your management skills with the Executive Coaching Tips in the "Management Skills" category of the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/   These five episodes may be particularly helpful in developing your management skills: Engagement & Performance Leading Teams Managing Performance: Up or Out Managing Up Your Team’s Best Interest – Part One And, if you are going to be giving performance reviews this fall, this episode has helpful tools for you. Give it a listen: Performance Reviews http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/performance-reviews/ Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com
September 7, 2017
This month's episode introduces "Acting on the Corporate Stage." That phrase was Tom's original branding phrase, before "The Look & Sound of Leadership" became his branding phrase. "Acting on the Corporate Stage" aims at helping you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived, which, of course, is the reason d'etre of every episode. Also this month, Tom shares reflections on attending his first-ever podcaster's convention. And his reflections are all about YOU!
August 3, 2017
Delivering a top-notch presentation requires you to master your ideas. Of course! But even more, you need to master yourself. Your audience won’t be able to lock onto you unless you are “in focus.” This month’s coaching conversation shows you how to get “in focus.”
July 13, 2017
Preparing a presentation raises many questions. How much are you going to rehearse? What will you actually do during your rehearsal? Are you going to memorize your talk? This month’s coaching conversation covers all that and more. Four core concepts this month: Rehearsal is obligatory. Manage your self-talk. Find your throughline. Rehearsal means “out loud.” In the archive is a whole set of Tips about “self talk.” It’s at: http://essentialcomm.com/tag/self-talk/ There’s another set about “presentation skills.” That’s at: http://essentialcomm.com/tag/presentation-skills/ Many different Executive Coaching Tips are referenced in this episode. Four related episodes are: Captivate Your Audience I Talk Too Fast! The Power of Rehearsal What Compelling Speakers Share The entire archive of Tips is at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast
June 1, 2017
Holding each other’s attention is a constant challenge. But you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership if you can’t keep people listening to you. This month’s coaching conversation emphasizes three little slogans to make sure you aren’t driving your listeners away from you. All three slogans are just three words long: “Short sounds confident.” And “Communication takes effort.” And “Stop talking sooner.” There are so many reasons why embodying those slogans is hard. And, in truth, it’s easier for some people than for others. But everyone can get at least a little better at this. This month’s podcast will give you lots of practical tips – and some metaphors!—to help get you there. Past Tips are available at: essentialcomm.com Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com We love hearing from you.
May 23, 2017
Tom exchanges emails with two listeners. One exchange addresses issues of personal boundaries in the workplace; the other addresses scarcity and abundance. This Bonus Episode is only the second one in the 9-year history of "The Look & Sound of Leadership." If you like this and want more, tell us. Contact us through the homepage at: essentialcomm.com Or by email at: info@essentialcomm.com The prior bonus episode -- with two other email exchanges -- is titled "Readers' Letters." It was posted in May, 2016. Find it in your feed. It’s not available on our website. (We’re working on that!)
May 4, 2017
TED Talkers turn us into engrossed detectives, absorbed in solving the mysteries unfolding before us. But TED Talking doesn’t have to be saved for special events. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to turn everyday presentations into compelling content that will hold people's interest ... like a TED Talk. If you're crafting an actual TED Talk, use Chris Anderson's terrific book: "TED Talks." I have a nifty 3-page reduction of Anderson's book. Reach out to me at info@essentialcomm.com and I'll send it along. Working to improve yourself as a presenter? The Coaching Tips archive are full of related episodes. Go to: essentialcomm.com/podcast and search the topic: "Presentation Skills."
April 6, 2017
Authority. It’s a slip-sliding sort of thing, isn’t it? Do we get it automatically along with a title? Sometimes. But sometimes not. This month’s coaching conversation examines both the thoughts and the words that give us authority. The ideas in this month's episode echo motifs embedded in many other episodes. Just a few related Executive Coaching Tips are: Assertion vs Aggression Choosing Persistence Don’t Take it Personally Getting Unstuck The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem Speaking For Yourself Showing Teeth Status Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com
March 2, 2017
At work, we often diminish the importance of feelings – our own or those of others. We think, “I don’t have time for that” or “That’s silly.” But feelings don’t disappear just because they’re inconvenient. And, when unacknowledged, their impact can be severe. This month, two coaches discuss the difficulties of managing “the human element.” Related episodes: Building Empathy Building Emotional Intelligence Coaching Your People Compassion During Change Dealing with Emotional Responses
February 2, 2017
Self-limiting beliefs hold us back. We limit who we are so we don't shatter those beliefs. This month's coaching conversation serves up several strategies to help you push back against those demons. Along the way, we mention "Leadership and Self-Deception," a great book to help you on your journey. We also touch on the topic of "Coaching versus Therapy," something I've been talking about for years. You can find an epsiode about it in the archive. I also mention an interview I did with Eric Cacciatore on his podcast, "Restaurant Unstoppable" episode 298, in which he and I talk about management and turnover and motivation. It was a blast. Check it out. Related episodes: Conquering Fear Negative Self-Talk The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem Thinking Errors Unmasking a Stand-In
January 12, 2017
Getting to the next level of executive presence usually demands the adoption of new behaviors. This month's episode explores a three-step process that helps new behaviors become habits. Helping you change behavior so you can be perceived the way you want to be perceived is the raison d'être of this podcast. If it's time for you develop more effective behaviors, there is an entire category in “The Look & Sound of Leadership" archive that will accelerate your development. The archive is at: essentialcomm.com/podcast The category, "Developing New Behavior" is at: essentialcomm.com/tag/developing-new-behaviors/ Five favorite episodes in that category are: Act “As If” Creating New Behaviors How Behaviors Change The Many Parts of You When Learning Makes Things Worse The episode called "Creating New Behaviors" has a PDF that goes along with it. If you'd like it, just ask. I'd love to send it you. Pop me an email at: info@essentialcomm.com
December 8, 2016
When we feel threatened or in danger, an old part of our brains, the one that regulates emotions, hijacks our executive functioning. We say and do things we regret. In the workplace, this can have serious consequences. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip has seven strategies for stopping yourself from getting hijacked. The seven lessons in my conversation with my client, Kimberly, are: Emotional hijacks are real. They happen when your emotions take control over your reason; Emotional hijacks happen because of a trigger. Triggers activate your emotional flight/fight/freeze response. We all have triggers; Your triggers follow a pattern. track them over time and the pattern will emerge. Often those who witness our hijackings know our triggers before we do; The first step to mastering your triggers is to be able to name them. By way of example, two of Kimberly’s were feeling left out and being ignored. Two of mine were feeling ineffectual and fearing a bad outcome. Triggers are personal and are different for each person; Emotional hijacks are usually preceded by a feeling somewhere in the body, most often somewhere in your core; Learning to recognize the pre-hijack feeling in your body as a warning bell can help stop – or at least slow down – the emotional hijacking; When you’re struggling to keep your executive functioning online, you can speak about your struggle. “I’m really upset at the moment.” Or, as Kimberly suggested, “I’m not sure I can make good decisions right now.” Speaking about the feeling helps make sure you don’t act from the feeling. If you want to work on combatting your emotional hijacks. other episodes you can listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Conquering Fear The Disruptive Executive – Part Two Dealing With Emotional Responses The Mindful Executive Negative Self-Talk Self-Awareness & Self-Management The entire archive is available to you for free at: essentialcomm.com/podcast
November 3, 2016
This episode addresses three issues that arise when you’re facing an executive team. First, what meaning are you making about the event itself? Is that meaning helping you or not helping you? If it’s not helping you, change it. Second, how will you address the moment when you need to say, “I don’t know”? Prepare for it. It’s going to happen. This episode has lots of ideas to try. The final issue is confidence and finding your executive presence; the core of every episode of The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast. In addition to the ideas in this episode, you can ask for a PDF that lists 15 related episodes to help you show up the way you want to show up. Send an email to info@essentialcomm.com and ask for the PDF that goes with this episode. I’d love to send it to you.
October 6, 2016
You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change.    One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick.   Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: Dealing With Emotional Responses A Difficult Conversation Discussing Difficult Behaviors Handling Defensive Behaviors Three Words You Should Never Say   If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen.  And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler.   Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. Lots of tools.
September 8, 2016
Conflict on teams is a good thing. Really! Well, it's good if it’s healthy. This month, two techniques to help team members engage in healthy conflict: arguing about what's best for the business and turning hostile non-verbals into dialogue. Related episodes to help with these skills are: Disagree Agreeably Facilitating Open Dialogue Getting Agreement Holding People Accountable Leadership and Listening Resolving Conflict
August 4, 2016
Meetings are often viewed as a necessary evil to be endured. But they can be engaging events that build people’s skills and accelerate the work. This month, a recipe for mixing up meeting magic. There is a four-meeting model discussed in this episode. If you want a graphic illustration of the model, just look at the online version in the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ or email me at info@essentialcomm.com Two books are also discussed in this month's episode: Patrick Lencioni's "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" and "Death By Meeting," both essential reads for team leaders.
July 7, 2016
Fear is natural but insidious. It can carve caverns in the foundations of our confidence, weakening our capacity. This month, a client learns about three kinds of fear and a transformational question that tames fear. A seminal book to help master fear is "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. At the end of this month's episode, Tom tells a story about the amazing reach of podcasts.
June 9, 2016
Empathy is a crucial component of The Look & Sound of Leadership. Some people have it naturally, others don’t. In either case, it can be developed and learned. This month's episode has lots of ideas about what empathy is, what it isn't, and how you can develop it.   There are lots of resources discussed this month.   A book called "The EQ Edge" by Stein and Book.   A great 3-minute animation by Brene Brown about sympathy versus empathy. It's on the home page of her website: brenebrown.com. Look for the cartoon of a bear and a fox.   Other epsiodes you might listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Self-Awareness & Self-Management   You also might go to essentialcomm.com, select "Coaching Tips," then search two subjects in the archive : Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development   Finally, if you or someone you know is in the middle of a job search, Tom did an interview this month with a wonderful career coach names Alyson Garrido. The interview has lots of helpful tips and tools. You can find it at: LA TalkRadio.com. The show is called "Get Yourself The Job." The show is in their archive for May, 2016.    Be good to the people you're leading. And be good to yourself! Until next month, thanks for listening!
May 17, 2016
A bonus episode! Tom shares email exchanges he had with two podcast listeners. One exchange is about handling people who interrupt presentations. The other is about defining tasks and responsibilities when they're not defined for you. During the podcast, Tom mentions two other episodes that support the ideas here: one episode is “Facilitating Open Dialogue.” The other is “Creating Devoted Followers.” If you’d like more bonus episodes like this one, let Tom know at info@essentialcomm.com.
May 5, 2016
How you brand yourself sticks with people a long time.Thismonth, a senior executive dreads having to brand himself duringaninterview – until he learns about the PersonalHistoriestechnique.In addition to giving you this simple yet powerful tool tohelpbuild your personal brand, this episode also references abookcalled "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team."Details about this book is at the end of the podcast. ThereIdiscuss that there are actually TWO books about theFiveDysfunctions. They're quite different. Here’s how."The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable" has ajuicystory about a team struggling to succeed. In the back of thebook,the author teaches The Five Dysfunctions and explains atarelatively high level how to overcome them. The tools in thisbook– including an assessment your team can fill out – areuseful.If you’d like to know how to build a high-performing team,thesecond book is even more useful. It’s called, "Overcoming TheFiveDysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, ManagersandFacilitators." This book has detailed, step-by-step instructionstoguide to and your team to high achievement.
April 7, 2016
This month, The Look & Sound of Leadership gives you a tool for developing your team. A process that takes only minutes to learn, if practiced regularly, this exercise has far-reaching ripples. Welcome to "The Plus/Delta Tool." Other episodes to help you develop as a leader of teams are: Your Team's Best Interests - Part One Your Team's Best Interests - Part Two Coaching Your People Engagement and Performance Performance Reviews Resolving Conflict
March 3, 2016
From the Harvard Business Review to the New York Times, mindfulness is widely touted as a powerful tool to increase personal effectiveness and well-being. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip explores the “how to” of being mindful with an executive who was already on the path but didn’t know it. This episode shows that mindfulness is neither complex nor mysterious; it just takes practice. More importantly, this episode puts forward the idea that all professional and personal development requires you to be mindful to some degree. If this episode inspires you, there are even more Tips to help support your growth. Go to the Executive Coaching Tips archive and select the category “Personal Growth & Self-Development.” http://essentialcomm.com/tag/personal-growth-self-development/
February 4, 2016
Coaching is expensive. Coaching is hard to measure. Coaching is too touchy-feely. There are a million arguments against coaching. This month, a tough CEO puts Tom on the defensive about coaching.   If you'd like to explore this topic further, here are nine related Tips: A Breakdown of Listening Coaching Your People Coaching Versus Therapy Creating New Behaviors High-Stakes Meetings How Behaviors Change Leadership & Listening Self-Knowledge as Leadership Who’s Coachable   Or you can search the free archive of all ten years'  worth of Tips. Use the "Search by Subject" tool to look at the category called "Personal Growth & Self-Development." There are more than 40 Tips in that cateogry to help support your professional development.   At the end of this Tip, Tom invites you to become a client. If you're interested in being coached, send him an email at info@essentialcomm.com
January 7, 2016
The goal of this episode is to give you a three-step process to help you succeed in meetings when you feel there’s a lot at stake. Step one: Clarify the Story. Four other episodes can also help with this step: “Sounding Executive,” “Communicating With Clarity,” “Executive Presenting” and, the mother of all communication tools: “Sorting and Labeling.” Step two: Do Your Homework. This step is different for everyone. Sometimes it means getting information from another department. Sometimes it means researching data. Sometimes it means talking to people who’ve gone before you.  Most people seem to know what homework to do; the struggle is finding time. Because we’re busy we think, “Oh, I’ll let the homework slide.” But I promise – doing your homework will make you feel much more confident. That brings us to the final step: Managing Yourself. In this episode I mention several concepts to help you manage yourself that you can find in other episodes. “Assume Equality” is a critical self-management tool. Another, to help manage feeling like a victim, is called “Status.” Another is called “Choosing Stories Over Truth.” This month’s episode is all about preparing for a high-stakes meeting with a tough company president. Next month’s episode will be about what happened when I was finally in the room face-to-face with her. 
December 3, 2015
For many businesses, uncertainty and ambiguity is their new norm. In such anxious times, people long for leaders who will make tough decisions, stand behind those decisions, and protect their people. In some circles, this is called “showing teeth.” In this episode, I refer to The Center for Talent Innovation and their white paper on Executive Presence. I also refer to four related episodes: Assertion versus Aggression  Gravitas Speaking for Yourself Speaking Your Truth For more ideas about “Showing Teeth,” you might also check out all the episodes in the Assertiveness category of the Executive Coaching Tips archive. The Executive Coaching Tip that explains “unconscious competence” is Creating New Behaviors.
November 4, 2015
Lack of engagement can assume many disguises but there is one outcome that is predictable: poor performance. What would you say if you found out you could get people engaged – and improve performance – with just two questions? Sounds like a miracle, right? That’s what I thought, too.
September 30, 2015
Disruptive executives take many forms—bullies, catastrophizers, resisters, you name it. But no matter what mask they wear, they create upheaval. Whether the disrupter is your boss, your peer or your direct report, coping successfully requires two things: courage and skills. Here’s how to find both.
September 2, 2015
Presentations are a golden opportunity to display your executive presence. Here are six behaviors that’ll help you command the room and deepen your brand.
August 5, 2015
We all think we’re better listeners than we really are. Luckily, we all have the capacity to improve our skills. But not all listening is the same. Here’s a breakdown.
July 8, 2015
When you’re communicating, you not only need to fly through the intricate patterns of your own information, you need to be sure we can thread that needle along with you.
June 10, 2015
The research is unequivocal: in the workplace, women play on a tilted field. Everyone contributes to work's off-center world -- even women! This episode explores ways to bring the tipping back in balance.
May 6, 2015
Narcissistic executives can be infuriating. And, unless you’re one of their favored few, they can be dangerous, too. These five actions will help protect you—and keep you sane.
April 1, 2015
Helping develop your people is a win for everyone. But developing people is quite different from managing people: developing people requires you to be a coach. Here’s how.
March 4, 2015
We all assign ourselves a certain status. Of course, that means we assign status to others, too. The question is: do people experience your status as appropriate? Or do you need to dial it up? Or down!
February 5, 2015
“I’ll know it when I see it” is a natural thought when starting a new project.  Feeling “It’s just not right” is natural when a situation is nagging. But your followers need you to tell them specifically what success looks like. If you don’t tell them, how will they know?
January 6, 2015
Finding good mentors – and using them wisely – can change your career trajectory. So can being a mentor to others. Here are actions for succeeding in both roles.
December 3, 2014
Executives create honor in the workplace not by declarations and speeches. Rather, honor is built in the display of small, consistent behaviors every day. This month’s Tip examines two of those behaviors and one over-arching factor.
November 6, 2014
Poor performers often linger far too long. Leaders who avoid these performance issues damage their reputations and weaken their teams. Here are five actions to help you manage poor performers up or out.
October 2, 2014
Thinking errors are tough to spot in yourself because they seem true.  Usually we've believed them for a long time. Here are ways to free yourself from thinking errors
September 4, 2014
We'd all like to be given a promotion merely because it's our turn. But earning a promotion is actually a job in itself. Mastering the four factors described here will accelerate the process.
August 6, 2014
We all want bosses who are sensitive to our needs. But savvy players know we need to manage our bosses at least as much as they manage us.
July 9, 2014
Each one of us has a personal brand. Every day we reinforce our brands consciously or unconsciously. The tools in this episode will help you craft your brand with intention. 
June 5, 2014
Your ability to execute senior-level work correlates directly to your ability to delegate effectively. The better you are delegation, the higher you can rise.
April 30, 2014
Leaders who are authentic display The Look & Sound of Leadership™. We follow them eagerly. But how to achieve authenticity? Here are five tools.
April 3, 2014
Certain people seem to have unlimited leeway when they make a mistake or miss a deadline while others seem to acquire black marks and penalties for the most minor infractions. This month’s episode explains why.
March 4, 2014
If you don’t grab your audience at the start, it’s tough to win ‘em over later. The two behaviors described here will help you engage your listeners before you’ve said a word.
February 5, 2014
We all sense the subtle messages we send each other. When those messages have even a whiff of disapproval, your followers may begin to cool.
January 8, 2014
Accepting how others see you can be a struggle. Until you can, you may not seem ready for the next step in your career.
December 5, 2013
An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.
November 7, 2013
We all have moments when we don’t speak up because we worry what other people might think. Here’s a way to help you find—and keep!—your voice. 11/07/13
October 3, 2013
Choosing to collaborate often feels like inviting an invader to sit down and eat your food. It can be done, but it doesn’t feel natural. And why would you? Where’s the benefit?
September 5, 2013
Gravitas is credibility that goes beyond titles or credentials. Without it, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership™. This Tip will help you get it and keep it.
August 1, 2013
Without good feedback about yourself, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. But how can you get good feedback about yourself?
July 11, 2013
Being “high maintenance” can derail a career. Here are four mistakes people make that get them labeled “high maintenance.” And four actions to help you avoid the high maintenance label.
June 6, 2013
Our own work style seems completely natural—to us! But what about all those people whose styles are different? What do you do with them?
May 2, 2013
We create impressions, in part, through our behaviors. And changing behaviors can feel overwhelming. This four-stage process makes behavioral change manageable.
April 4, 2013
Companies invest in developing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) because its presence improves performance. EQ has four steps. Here is number one. 04/04/13
March 7, 2013
Every leader casts a long shadow. Casual comments can have huge ripples. Such is the burden of leadership. How well are you shouldering the burden?
February 7, 2013
Everyone you manage is at a different stage of their professional and personal development. Are you managing them all the same way?
January 10, 2013
Expert communicators put up signposts so their listeners can follow them easily. Using these “frameworks” can distinguish you as a clear and expert communicator.
December 6, 2012
Giving upward feedback can be a dicey proposition. The three-step formula in this Executive Coaching Tip will make that potentially dangerous enterprise a whole lot safer.
November 1, 2012
Companies proudly post their values in their lobbies and on their websites. But values are mere slogans until leaders help people transform those ideas into concrete actions. But that shift can be difficult. Even explosive.
October 4, 2012
Leaders who are technically gifted leaders are often less gifted when managing their relationships. To avoid derailing—and to have healthy relationships—leaders need the two skills addressed in this month’s podcast.
September 6, 2012
It’s usually painfully obvious to us when we’re stuck. What’s frustrating is that we can’t get ourselves unstuck. Here are three practical ways for getting unstuck that are particularly helpful in the workplace.
August 2, 2012
This 100th edition of The Look & Sound of Leadership™ discusses the best predictor of an executive’s long-term effectiveness.
July 12, 2012
Trying to manage a disrupter is tough work. Managing yourself while managing a disrupter is no easier! These four tools will help you contain yourself during emotional encounters.
June 7, 2012
Trying to manage disrupters is like getting pummeled by a heavyweight. Here are five tools to help get traction with the disrupters in your life.
May 10, 2012
Many high performers are running on empty. Here are tools to replenish your reserves.
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