There Will Be Crossbows
There Will Be Crossbows
James Nelson and John Robison
There Will Be Crossbows is a long-distance improvised comedy podcast, featuring frequent collaborators and veteran improvisers John Robison and James Nelson. We make up songs and other bits, record them, send them to the other one to finish, then meet online to record some scenes. And yes... there will be crossbows.
Franchise
Two brothers come into a large fortune and promptly open up their own McDonald's franchise, but will their lack of business acumen sink the venture before it even gets afloat?
Jan 9, 2022
21 min
Suburbs
The Suburbs: the most dreaded frontier of the modern age. In this ruthless, action-packed episode, terrorists begin their hostile takeover of the a neighborhood, only to get sidetracked with second jobs and malfunctioning security robots. Also at some point the episode just becomes about pizza. Sorry about that.
Jan 1, 2022
18 min
Monarchy
Royal family drama ensues in this shocking new episode of Crossbows! Follow the adventures of Rutherford, Bea, and Hayes as they navigate a shifting monarchy after the death of the king.
Nov 30, 2021
24 min
Choir
Two poor saps kicked out of their choir on the same day face entirely different destinies after they try to salvage their careers at the local jazz club open mic night. 
Oct 31, 2021
19 min
Contradictions
A young boy questions his faith in a provocative episode that quickly spirals out of control and becomes about Tilda Swinton.
Oct 18, 2021
17 min
Bugs
When a child is forced to wear an unusual Halloween costume by their parent, all hell breaks loose in a town infested by entomologists.
Oct 6, 2021
11 min
Ranch
From picking out salad dressing to eating human faces, this episode runs the gamut. We're sorry in advance for all the people we insulted in Hungaria, which is definitely a real country.
Sep 28, 2021
13 min
Alaska
Survive the frozen wasteland that is Alaska. Bears, guns, global warming, and craft beer all pose dangerous threats in this special episode dedicated to the 49th state!
Sep 21, 2021
18 min
Swarm, Autobiography, Illness
It's a Crossbows Mini-Sode! A kiddo gets his dream gift in the form of many horrific insects, Ozzy's autobiography gets cleaned up by his ghostwriter, and a very mysterious pandemic afflicts a very dumb person. All this and more!
Sep 15, 2021
17 min
Big Game Hunters
In this epic mini-sode, big game hunters and presidential assassins argue ethics, and we learn why having all your neighbors on speed dial can be a disaster.
Sep 7, 2021
16 min
Load more