May 27, 2020
This week, Jodie and Celia are joined by Tiffany Jenkins (of Juggling the Jenkins) and Meredith Masony (of That’s Inappropriate)! From their respective closets/garages/wells, the ladies discuss everything from conspiracy theories, butts (yes, again), the online parenting community, and how to charge your kids for snacks during quarantine (thanks, Tiffany!). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
May 20, 2020
This week, Jodie and Celia dive into listener letters! They share “never thought I’d say this” moments from all of you, hear about how everyone’s doing during the pandemic, and interject with their usual insane silliness (including Celia’s famous “coked-out chipmunk” impression). Then Celia shares a new story about her mom, and maybe her best (worst?) craptastic parenting moment yet. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
May 13, 2020
Well, the day has come. Celia has given herself a full Brazilian wax at home during quarantine,  and she lived to tell us the tale. Then, Jodie shares her most recent never thought I’d say this and craptastic parenting moments: Jodie’s daughter moved into the bathroom, her other daughter refused to wear pants, and Jodie had a screaming tantrum. Jodie and Celia talk about how blurred the boundaries are with kids during quarantine – how do you keep things under control as a parent when even you are falling apart? They also talk about the importance of taking responsibility as a parent when you do mess up, because messing up is inevitable - especially during a pandemic. So be kind to yourselves (and wash your hands!). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
May 6, 2020
Jodie and Celia are back with another closet edition of NTIST! Jodie talks about something she never thought she’d say: she threw a socially distant birthday party for her daughter. The ladies check in about their respective mental states in isolation – the loneliness, the lack of control, and the guilt that comes with having negative feelings when in a relatively privileged position. They offer advice to their listeners: stay in your hula hoop, and take a break from the dishes. Celia talks about how anxiety manifests in your brain, and how it might be protecting you right now. Meanwhile, a ghost or the NSA keeps messing with the microphones and the lights, Jodie can’t stop burping, and Celia has big news! Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
April 29, 2020
Jodie and Celia are back broadcasting from their respective closets to discuss their new normal: quarantining with the kids. They talk about their lack of sanity, their adventures in remote recording (which somehow manage to include bathroom humor), and Celia gearing up for some terrifying at-home waxing. They also talk about the silver linings of the pandemic – clean air, people being extra generous, and taking a break from productivity. Oh yeah, and there’s plenty of butthole content. Just to stay consistent.  Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
April 22, 2020
Jodie and Celia are in full quarantine mode and are dispatching today from their respective closets, because the show must go on! They give each other updates on how homeschooling the kids is going and naturally, it’s a mixed bag. They stress the importance of not putting too much pressure on the kids or themselves during this surreal time, and share some of the highs and lows they’ve faced so far. Plus, Celia is still boozing, Jodie is still breaking toes, and both of them are still ridiculous. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
April 15, 2020
This week, Jodie and Celia talk about the idea of the “nuclear family” – and decide it’s kind of B.S. They discuss the guilt that comes up for single moms who don’t have cookie-cutter families, and the ways in which they’ve created chosen families that create a wider, more diverse network of support than the traditional family structure. And somehow, all roads lead to Celia’s butt. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
April 8, 2020
This week Jodie and Celia are joined by Brenda Strong, who along with being an actress is a yoga teacher and a pioneer of yoga for fertility. The ladies talk about the stigma that comes with infertility, and the shame that society places on all aspects of both being a mother and not being a mother. Brenda offers some tools for embracing all experiences - good and bad - and Celia opens up about her secondary infertility and the way that Brenda’s teachings helped her through it. Then Jodie forgets Bea’s age, and Celia shames Harper (whoops) for plucking a giant hole in her eyebrow (double whoops). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
April 1, 2020
Jodie and Celia are back for the second installment of their Pandemic Special. This time, the ladies take a detour to share some pre-coronavirus stories: the special adventures of Lulu and Bea, Bea “running away,” Jodie and Celia breaking their bodies, and Celia showing her pedicurist porn (on accident!). Then, they talk about being present and reconnecting in the face of the current panic, and issue a PSA: with all this extra time on your hands, don’t put weird things up your butt. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
March 25, 2020
Jodie and Celia are dispatching to you from the COVID-19 pandemic this week – something they never thought they’d say. First thing to know is that Celia is drunk. Second is that along with discussing how the pandemic is affecting their lives, they manage to find the humor in a bad situation, as they always do. So this episode is filled with laughs, an insane new expression from the brilliant mind of Jodie Sweetin, butt humor, and Picante Clamato. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
March 18, 2020
This week the ladies sit down with the musician Lisa Loeb! They talk about how Lisa became a children’s musician (before she was a mom), and how the best music for kids to listen to has a high level of cleverness, storytelling, and humor – whether it’s made specifically for kids or not. They discuss radical self-acceptance in kids AND adults, and how Los Angeles is a great place to learn it. Plus, kids eat the grossest things. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
March 11, 2020
Jodie and Celia are joined by Dancing With The Stars alum Kym Johnson, the first mom with twins to grace the podcast! The ladies share memories of new motherhood, the horrors of breastfeeding, and mom guilt. Then they dive deep into body image – how rough it is for moms postpartum, and how rough it is for kids when they reach puberty. But in an ironic twist, Celia tells her daughter she has “FUPA” in a craptastic parenting moment for the ages. If you don’t know what that is, you will soon! Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
March 4, 2020
Jodie and Celia have reached that inevitable point when their older daughters have become cooler than them. They talk about the impossibility of clothes shopping with middle schoolers (especially for a first dance) and the insanity of school dress codes. They also totally out themselves as lame moms (they don’t think TikTok videos are funny, they don’t understand slang, etc.) and they’re NOT ASHAMED. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
February 26, 2020
This week, Jodie and Celia talk about having anxiety and depression, parenting through mental illness and grief, and how they talk to their kids about it. Because a serious topic never gets in the way of these two having a good, off-the-rails time, they manage to laugh through the discussion, sexualize Olaf from Frozen, and joke about “sacks” with Jodie’s daughter. Yeah, those sacks. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
February 19, 2020
And we’re back for Season 2, with NTIST’s first LIVE SHOW! Jodie and Celia take the stage at San Francisco Sketchfest to talk about their holiday vacations with the kids (if you think those went smoothly, welcome – you must be new here). Things really go off the rails when Jodie narrates Celia’s onstage reenactments of “sex positions” as imagined by Celia’s daughter Lulu…buckle up, everyone! Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
December 18, 2019
It’s the final episode of Season One (don’t worry, we’ll be back soon)! Jodie and Celia cover such topics as binge eating at Harry Potter World (and inappropriate places to stick magic wands), the end of Fuller House, kids’ anxiety about their parents’ finances, screaming dispatches from the shower, and a special announcement! (And yes – obviously they go off the rails 100+ times.)   Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
December 11, 2019
Jodie and Celia do a post-Halloween wrap-up of their last year trick-or-treating with all of their girls (the older ones are VERY ready to ditch their moms). They then debrief on a fancy night out in which they both had extreme wardrobe malfunctions, and discuss how they handle their kids fighting with each other (spoiler alert: accept when your own kid is being a dick). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
December 4, 2019
Jodie and Celia sit down with their good friend and security expert, Jeff Serber, to discuss how to keep your kids (and yourself) safe online. Jeff breaks down just how easy it is for someone to find your kid in the real world from their online profiles (yes – even if they are set to “private”), explains how to teach kids to set hard boundaries with adults that make them uncomfortable, and, naturally, uncovers that Celia’s upcoming Tinder date is a sex offender. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
November 27, 2019
Celia and Jodie welcome a very special guest to the show this week: Jodie's mom, Janice Sweetin! Janice shares the parenting wisdom she learned raising Jodie, talks about how different it is raising kids today, and gives Celia dating advice (yes, she's swiped for Celia on Tinder).  Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
November 20, 2019
Celia tells Jodie how she used her daughter to get her out of a bad date, which opens up a discussion about when it is OK to lie (especially as a girl/woman in order to stay safe), and how to explain the difference to your kids. Then, Jodie reveals how she once got Celia out of a hilariously terrible date. Just bad dates all around.
November 13, 2019
Jodie, Celia, and Debbie Matenopoulos get even more real than usual on the podcast today! They discuss how necessary it is to lie to your own children sometimes (did you know they'll send four-year-olds to jail?!), how hard it is not to raise an entitled child, and when to admit to your kids that you were wrong. Plus, Debbie shares some hilarious quotes from moms hanging on by a thread.  Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
November 6, 2019
Jodie and Celia talk to Jill Trinchero, founder and CEO of an edible cannabis snack company, about being a business-owner and cannabis advocate while also being a mom. Celia shares how cannabis helped her through postpartum depression, and Jodie weighs in on the social stigma of cannabis as a sober, objective observer. And somehow, there’s a lot of discussion about dung beetles and vaudeville to go along with it. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email: Find Jill on Instagram: @sdksnacks ( @mellowoutmama ( @sdklife (
October 30, 2019
Jodie and Celia talk all things birthday parties! Jodie hosts 10 little girls at her house for Bea’s birthday sleepover, and Celia has Lulu’s party at a roller rink. Naturally, chaos ensues – Jodie gets in a fight in the parking lot, Celia cries in a corner, and more. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
October 23, 2019
In this episode, Jodie and Celia tackle the often controversial topic of kids using "grown-up words" - where and when they're ok to use, and how to navigate the issue as parents who use A LOT of grown-up words themselves. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
October 16, 2019
Jodie and Celia are joined by Danielle and Adam of the podcast Marriage & Martinis this week! The ladies talk to their first married couple guests about "disciplining" their children (they know they’re not supposed to use that word – they don’t care) and the different methods they all use. Including putting a toddler on a Target shelf for a time out. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
October 9, 2019
Jodie and Celia have their first dad on the podcast – John Brotherton! They discuss how conventional beauty standards are already affecting their young daughters, and the father-daughter dynamic from childhood to adulthood. Then Celia gives advice for how dads can best deal with their daughters’ insecurities and first heartbreaks. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
October 2, 2019
Jodie and Celia talk to Erica and Milah of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast about raising kids in a racially charged society, how to be an ally, and dating dealbreakers. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
September 25, 2019
Jodie tells a horrific tale of lice overtaking the entire family. Celia loses her shit. Bea still wants Menchie's. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
September 18, 2019
Jodie, Celia, and their friend Chudney Ross talk about squeamish dads, losing their kids in public places, sibling dynamics, and – of course – boobies, periods, and vaginas. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
September 11, 2019
Jodie, Celia, and fellow single mama Karen Rothstein talk all things adoption! Jodie and Karen share their own unique adoption stories, Celia's daughters start a trend of putting Paw Patrol tattoos on their private parts, and the ladies share a boozy Fail Main submission. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
September 4, 2019
Jodie and Celia talk to Pulitzer Prize winning photojournalist Lynsey Addario about being a working mom - which in Lynsey's case involves being pregnant in war zones. Plus, the ladies risk losing their four male listeners by sharing menstrual cup horror stories. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
August 28, 2019
The ladies discuss teaching their kids internet literacy (and not to Google their parents), Jodie’s side hustle as a literary icon, and the special kind of hell that is a 3 hour school play. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
August 21, 2019
Jodie and Celia talk to special guest Andrea Barber about what it's like to parent a teenage (!) boy (!!), and the three ladies discuss helping kids through puberty. Later, things go off the rails when Jodie and Celia have to explain to Andrea what it means to toss someone's salad. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
August 14, 2019
Jodie and Celia, fresh off an experience where one of their daughters tells the other's daughter about abortion, discuss the importance of talking to your kids about the tough stuff before they get misinformation. Then they share some of the misinformation they got as kids (testicles are involved). Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
August 7, 2019
Join Jodie and Celia for a conversation that ranges from killing your kids' creativity, challenging them to fights, losing it at them in front of religious neighbors, and of course, "crotch fires." (We can't make this stuff up.) Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
July 31, 2019
Jodie and Celia discuss those awkward first conversations about sex...when the kids know a little too much. Then, a dramatic reading of a very special and disturbing children's book written by...Celia's mother. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
July 24, 2019
Jodie, Celia, and Melissa chat all things social media: finding their kids' secret accounts, dealing with online bullying, and experiencing how parents can get sucked in themselves. Plus, Jodie comes clean about a Nutella theft. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
July 17, 2019
Jodie and Celia talk with Christine Lakin about respecting kids' physical boundaries, kids respecting each other's physical boundaries (or not), and how apparently Celia was the worst pregnant person ever according to her daughter. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
July 10, 2019
Welcome to NTIST! In this episode, the ladies discuss how they became friends and what they've done recently that's gonna come up in their kids' future therapy sessions.  Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
June 19, 2019
Welcome to Never Thought I'd Say This, an unfiltered parenting podcast from Jodie Sweetin and Celia Behar! Episodes will be available every Wednesday starting on July 10, 2019.
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