As we discover and name our grief we may begin to consider how to meet God in that space. Is He even there? In this episode we discover that not only is grief okay, but that it actually leads us to experience God in real and deep ways. *Discussion Questions: * When you consider welcoming your grief as a way to invite God into your experience, what feelings pop up for you? Do you notice any fear? Whatever feelings pop up for you, practice welcoming them without judgement. Benny painted a beautiful picture for us about how Grief is a pathway to God and brings us closer to the complete heart of God. What did you learn about God from today’s conversation? When you consider a God who weeps and grieves, how does that challenge the perception of God you have had in the past? Leigh gave us some helpful tips on how to engage with our grief. Was there one tool that you plan to use to connect with yourself and God in your grief? When can you make time to do so? Resources: How People Grow by Henry Cloud Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb Scripture Benny referenced in this episode: Psalm 34:15 2 Corinthians 1 Matthew 28 Psalm 23 Daniel 3

As we pay attention to our losses as they add up, we often have a tendency to minimize our feelings by comparing our story to other’s bigger losses. In this episode we look at our tendency to add a “should” or a “should not” to our feelings and we gain insight into why it is helpful to welcome our feelings, whatever they are. Discussion Questions: Have you ever noticed yourself jumping from sharing to comparing when it comes to sad feelings? Do you tend to be someone who compares to validate or magnify your feelings or do you tend to compare as a way to push them away? We were invited not to judge our feelings but to welcome them. What do you think that looks like for you? What self talk do you need to keep tabs on to stop the “should” of your feelings? How do you think perspective helps us in our sadness? How can it be unhelpful? As you consider your specific grief, how does what God has to say about it differ from what a worldly perspective might look like? *Resources * Willow Worship Song: Where are you, God? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7vhQghsUyo

When life is moving along at a fast pace and all of a sudden we are hit with a change--planned or unplanned-- that leaves us with feelings of sadness and loss, how do we respond to those feelings instead of ignoring them and simply adjusting to our “new normal?” Maybe it's a new job, a kid going off to college, or a dear friend moving away, these changes seem like ones we can muster up the strength to weather, but they too deserve our curiosity and care. We discuss how the feelings of loss that pile up from life’s “little losses” really do need our attention so that we can heal and grow. Discussion Questions: What are some moments from your life that come to mind when we talk about life interruptions or transitions that have left you with some sadness? How did you first feel when we invited you to consider that sadness grief? Is naming it as grief a challenge for you or does it come easily? Why do you think that is? What fears might you have about spending time naming and grieving your losses? What do you hope to gain by naming your losses and grieving them? What do you hope comes from this practice? Resources for further learning Podcast: Unlocking Us, Brene Brown and David Kessler

*Discussion Questions: * What is one thing that has surprised you about parenthood? How does it differ from the picture you had before you became a dad? Who are you? Who are your kids? How does that inform or influence how you interact with your kids? What are your core family values? When you look at your calendar (or last year’s calendar), does your schedule represent these values? If so, how can you continue this? If not, what do you want to adjust in the future? When you reflect on this current season, what are some of the new ways you’ve connected with your kids? How can you carry on these new ways of connecting even after quarantine is over? Additional Resources: www.willowcreek.org/Fathersday

Even on normal years Mother’s Day can be a complicated holiday, ripe with expectations and multiple obligations to balance. In this episode we get curious about our own expectations going into this holiday and we get clearer about what this unique Mother’s Day could look like for all of us. *Discussion Questions: * What have you learned about yourself and your expectations over the years of celebrating Mother’s Day? Or if this is your first Mother’s Day, have you been honest with yourself about your expectations for Mother’s Day? What do you find yourself hoping for in a celebration this year? What is one way that you can ensure you have a honoring celebration, keeping in mind what you can control, and what you cannot? Write a prayer to God about what mothering in this season of life is like. What are you grateful for? What do you need help with? Resources: willowcreek.org/mothersday

As we continue to stay home because of Covid-19, some of us are shifting from a sprint mindset to one of a marathon. You are not alone as you navigate this unprecedented time of changes in how work and parenting look, of experiencing loss, and of shifting to relationships over screens. Our hope is that we can share a conversation that makes us each feel seen and where we can gain access to some tools to help us navigate this uncharted territory. Discussion Questions We started this conversation by sharing one thing we are grieving and one thing we are thankful for. Take a moment to do the same. One grief and one gratitude. What do you think the benefit is of naming these during this season? What is one activity that you still have access to that really brings you joy? How can you make room for this activity to be part of your new routine? What obstacles do you need to work through to make this happen? Who could you help this week? A friend who needs encouraging? A grandma who needs help with technology? Find time on your calendar to plan this out and make it happen. What ways can you take care of your body that feel the most like you? Is it taking a walk? Trying holy yoga? Following an online workout with a friend? Or being more mindful of nutrition as you choose your food? Remember, your body and your emotions are deeply connected. What role has prayer played for you in this season? What do you need to share with God right now? Have you told him how you’re feeling? Have you asked him for what you need? Spend some time today doing just that. Resources: For Spiritual Practices that Benny mentioned visit - http://dev.practicetribe.com/dailyoffice/ https://apps.apple.com/us/app/centering-prayer/id844280857 For further learning on emotional health in this season Brene Brown Podcast https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-comparative-suffering-the-50-50-myth-and-settling-the-ball/ For considering self care as you care for others Season 2 (episodes 7-10) of the Relate Podcast, The Me in We

We know there is so much talk out there right now about our current Stay-at-Home reality. It’s on the news, on our social media feeds, and as we talk with friends around the country it is our topic of conversation. It is not our desire to add to the volume of this reality, but rather to share our experiences of it and help us all feel a bit less alone and to discover ways to pay attention to our relational and emotional health in this season. Discussion Questions: Have you been feeling pressure to perform or achieve while you have been staying at home? How has your energy level been? When you don’t get to your desired to do list, what does your self talk sound like? What have been some things that you personally have lost in this season? List them out. What does looking at this list tell you? How do you do at welcoming all your feelings, even grief, disappointment and frustration? How have you been staying connected to those you love that aren’t in your home? How about the ones that are? What is one step you can take today to connect with someone that will help you feel more like you? *Resources: * Naming Loss and Gratitude with Young People in these Uncertain Times https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/blog/naming-loss-and-gratitude-with-young-people?fbclid=IwAR2lQq7XRjhG-pd_vj1i4RuE3hf07mzgDZu_lQ0bItL2qZeE9TOzdTPJLzc That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Helping Kids Handle Their Emotions https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201201/tips-helping-kids-handle-their-emotions How to Create Meaningful Connections While Apart (A Ted Talk) https://www.ted.com/talks/priya_parker_how_to_create_meaningful_connections_while_apart

As we wrap up season 4, we take a look at one of the best ways to ensure success when seeking to make change. We discuss benefits and strategies to inviting trusted, safe people into your process. We also paint a clear picture of what a group functioning at this level looks like. Discussion Questions: In your current reality is it easy or hard for you to invite others into your desire for change? What is making it that way for you? Why have you chosen your area of growth? What led you to want to make this change? And what is one fear you might have as you enter into it? What does a safe group look like to you? Is there anything that we didn’t touch on in our conversation that is especially important to you? What is one step you will take to invite someone safe into your growth? Who will you invite and what is it about them that makes them the right person or group? Resources Recover Ministry: https://www.willowcreek.org/en/care/relational-resources/recover-find-freedom-from-unhelpful-habits-and-patterns/south-barrington New Year, New You? Daily Devotional Sign up here Megan Marshman's Message on Hiding

When you look back at your old self, how do you feel? Is there something that “old self” wants to tell us about who we are today? As we look to our story and current experiences for motivation to make lasting change, we must get curious about the role of pain in our lives. On this episode we discuss pains’ role in getting us to a place where we want to make positive changes. Is pain a good motivator or a bad one? Could we find God in our pain? Discussion Questions What was your initial response to the Emily McDowell’s Toast to the Old You? When you look back at the old you, do you feel more like celebrating that person or more like correcting him or her? Why? Do you feel that inviting people into your growth and change would help you be more successful in making the change last? Why do you feel that way? What steps can you take this week to invite people into your process? Think about a time in your life when pain motivated you to act in a new and different way. Is there a place in your life right now where the pain feels scarier than making a change? Or vice versa, is there a place in your life when making a change is more painful than staying the same? Would you be open to inviting others into your process to gain insight and support? Resources Recover Ministry: https://www.willowcreek.org/en/care/relational-resources/recover-find-freedom-from-unhelpful-habits-and-patterns/south-barrington New Year, New You? Daily Devotional Sign up here: https://willowcreek.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=dfd0f4e0c107728235d2ff080&id=2a839f1623

We have considered what is behind our desire to change, and if we are in a season where goals are indeed the next right thing for us. If you find yourself in a place where you are ready for growth, this episode will help you discover ways to pursue healthy and lasting change. We discuss helpful frameworks for change as well as common distractors that get in our way of achieving growth. *Discussion Questions: * In this moment, are you feeling energy around making some steps toward growth or a new goal? Or is there something else you need more in this season? If you are ready for some new growth, do you have an area in mind? Was there something in the list of possible growth themes that I read that resonated with you? Perhaps self talk? Saying yes, or no more? Spending time looking back in your story to heal and learn? How can you, this week, make room in your life, your schedule, your heart, for this new growth? Consider what relationship might be present within a change you would like to make. What is one way you can grieve that relationship’s end in order to prepare for growth? *Resources: * More on Neuroplasicity: Richard J. Davidson Ted Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/richard_j_davidson_how_mindfulness_changes_the_emotional_life_of_our_brains_jan_2019?utm_campaign=941aa6900c-Jan2020_TEDx1ND&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Center+for+Healthy+Minds&utm_term=0_cce2315563-941aa6900c-9465615 New Year, New You? Daily Devotional Sign up here: https://willowcreek.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=dfd0f4e0c107728235d2ff080&id=2a839f1623