Few things are harder than watching your child come home hurt by a friend. Whether they're feeling left out, navigating conflict, experiencing rejection, or struggling through friendship drama, many moms find themselves wondering: Should I step in? Should I stay out of it? How do I help without making it worse?In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares personal stories, practical encouragement, and biblical wisdom for helping children navigate relational conflict in a way that reflects the heart of Jesus. Through the lens of Matthew 18, she'll explore how we can teach our kids to pursue reconciliation, extend forgiveness, and find their identity in Christ rather than in the approval of others.If you've ever felt helpless watching your child struggle socially, this conversation will encourage you to trust God with their relationships while helping them develop the skills and character they'll need for a lifetime of healthy friendships.In This Episode:Why friendship drama affects moms so deeplyThe difference between protecting your child and preparing themWhat Jesus teaches about conflict and reconciliation in Matthew 18How to help your child navigate hurt, rejection, and misunderstandingsTeaching kids to pursue peace instead of gossipHelping children separate their identity from their friendshipsPractical ways to walk alongside your child without taking overHow the gospel transforms the way we handle relational conflictScripture Referenced:Matthew 18:15Ephesians 4:31–32Special thanks to Vanessa Dolberry who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.P.S. Scarlet also joined Steph on The Christian Parenting Podcast earlier this week for a great conversation on embracing the Gospel for real-life parenting messes! Listen here or watch hereResources:The Adventure BibleGet your copy of Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation today!Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinutePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this deeply personal episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares her own experiences with miscarriage and the difficult questions that often accompany loss. Through stories of grief, fear, and surrender, she reflects on the difference between questioning God's goodness and learning to trust His goodness even when circumstances don't make sense.Whether you're walking through pregnancy loss yourself or supporting a mom friend who is, this conversation offers biblical encouragement, honest hope, and practical ways to care for those who are grieving. Together, we'll explore what it looks like to cling to God in heartbreak and find comfort in His unchanging character when life feels uncertain.In this episode:Scarlet's personal experiences with miscarriageWrestling with faith in seasons of lossTrusting God's goodness when life doesn't feel goodBiblical encouragement for grieving momsPractical ways to support someone experiencing pregnancy lossFinding hope and healing in Christ amid unanswered questionsIf you've ever wondered how to hold both grief and faith at the same time, this episode is for you!Today's Scripture Focus:Psalm 34:18, Romans 8:32, Lamentations 3:22-23, John 11:35Special thanks to Scarlet’s little tiny infant baby sister (who is 32!) Aubrey Fuhrman, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.Resources:The Adventure BibleGet to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinutePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do you talk to your kids about cancer, suffering, terminal illness, or the possibility of losing someone they love?Whether it's a grandparent's diagnosis, a chronic illness, a devastating loss, or another painful reality, there comes a moment when we realize we cannot protect our children from every hard thing this side of heaven.In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a deeply personal place as she reflects on her mother's battle with stage-four cancer and the challenges of helping her own children navigate grief, uncertainty, and difficult questions. How much do we tell our kids? Should they see us cry? How do we help them process suffering when we're still processing it ourselves?Together, we'll explore what Scripture teaches about suffering, why Christian hope is different from wishful thinking, and how parents can model faith in the middle of fear. Rather than shielding our children from every hardship, we have the opportunity to show them what it looks like to trust Jesus when life hurts.This conversation is ultimately about more than cancer. It's about helping our children discover that God's presence is real, His promises are trustworthy, and His love remains steadfast even when life feels fragile.Today's Scripture Focus:2 Corinthians 4:16–18"Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day..."Special thanks to Jennifer Sieber, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.Resources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinuteHopeful-ish: Sadness, Weariness, Donkey Attacks, More Sadness, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel ForPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do we help our children navigate change when their hearts are breaking over what they're leaving behind?In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a lifetime of moving, from her childhood years spent relocating across the country to the many ministry moves she's made as a wife and mom. She explores the unique challenges of helping children process transitions, say goodbye to people and places they love, and learn to trust God in unfamiliar seasons.Drawing from personal stories of moving with young children, leaving beloved churches and communities, and helping her family build new lives in new places, Scarlet discusses the tension many parents feel: wanting their children to embrace what's ahead without minimizing the grief of what's being left behind.But this episode isn't ultimately about moving.It's about belonging.It's about helping our children understand that while homes, schools, churches, friendships, and circumstances may change, God never does.Through biblical examples like Abraham, Moses, Ruth, and the Israelites, Scarlet highlights a powerful theme woven throughout Scripture: God's people have always been travelers, strangers, and sojourners learning to trust Him in unfamiliar places. The Christian life has never been about finding perfect security in this world. It's about learning to anchor our hearts in the One who never changes.In this episode, Scarlet discusses:• How to help children grieve the people, places, and routines they love• Why grief is not evidence that a move or transition was a mistake• The tension of feeling both excitement and sadness during major life changes• Biblical examples of faithful people who followed God into the unknown• Why earthly homes, relationships, and comforts make poor ultimate foundations• How transitions reveal where we are placing our security and identity• Practical ways to help children build trust in God's faithfulness during uncertain seasons• How to cultivate gratitude for God's gifts without clinging too tightly to themToday's Scripture Focus: Hebrews 11:13–16A special thank you to Caroline Downen who shared her own moving to Japan and back experience during the Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.00:00 Embracing Transitions: A Personal Journey12:02 Navigating Grief and Change with Kids17:50 Finding Home in a Changing WorldResources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinutePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do you love your children well when every one of them seems to need something completely different from you?In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal explores one of the most common tensions in motherhood: the desire to make sure each child feels deeply loved, seen, and secure, even when their personalities, needs, struggles, and seasons of life look nothing alike.Drawing from her own experience parenting four very different children, including sharing the adoption story of her daughter Joy, Scarlet reflects on the unique challenges and unexpected gifts that come with loving children individually rather than identically. From navigating a wide age gap between siblings to understanding different temperaments, emotional needs, and life experiences, she discusses the pressure many moms feel to keep everything equal, and why equal isn't always the same as loving well.At the heart of this conversation is a beautiful gospel truth: God Himself does not interact with every one of His children in exactly the same way. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who knows people personally, pursues them individually, and meets them in the unique circumstances of their lives. He is not a generic Father offering generic love. He is a deeply personal God who sees, knows, and cares for each of His children completely.This episode is also a reminder that our children's deepest security will never come from having perfectly balanced parents or perfectly equal circumstances. Their security comes from knowing they are fully known and fully loved by God. While we will inevitably fall short, the good news of the gospel is that our children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who consistently point them to the only perfect Father.Today's Scripture Focus:Psalm 139A special thank you to Scarlet's 13-year-old daughter, Joy, for joining this week's Messy Mom Moment. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.00:00Introduction and Episode Overview19:17The Beauty of Individual Love in Family Dynamics21:15Understanding God's Personal Love for Us23:32Biblical Examples of Tailored Love25:42Practical Steps for Unique Parenting27:30Closing Thoughts and EncouragementResources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinuteMoms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuidePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s officially Scarlet Hiltibidal’s first episode as the new host of Pardon the Mess, and she’s kicking things off with a conversation every mom needs to hear.If you’ve ever laid in bed replaying your parenting failures, wondered if your bad moments are shaping your kids forever, or felt crushed under the pressure to “get motherhood right,” this episode is for you.Scarlet shares honest stories from her own home, the parenting advice that radically changed her perspective as a young mom, and the freeing truth that the gospel was never about pretending we’re perfect parents. It’s about pointing our children to a perfect Savior.She explores how our failures can actually become places where grace shines bright, why joy and peace in motherhood cannot be built on performance, and how repentance, humility, and dependence on Jesus create a healthier home than image management ever could.In this episode, Scarlet talks about:• Why motherhood often feels spiritually heavy and emotionally exhausting• The difference between parenting for performance versus parenting from grace• How our identity in Christ changes the way we respond to our failures• The beauty of apologizing to our kids and modeling repentance• Why children do not need flawless parents — they need parents who know Jesus• How the Holy Spirit empowers us to live with joy, peace, and dependence instead of striving• Practical ways to reset the tone of your home when everything feels chaoticThis episode is a reminder that your worst moments are not the truest thing about you. Jesus is still present in the mess, still forming your children, and still offering grace for today.Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or somewhere in between, this conversation will help you exhale, laugh a little, and remember what matters most.Today's Scripture Focus: Romans 8:1-4If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mom friend who needs some hope today.Special thanks to Michelle Glass who shared a beautiful testimony for this week's Messy Mom Moment!Resources:Get to know Scarlet hereAfraid of All the ThingsSign up for Morning MinuteMoms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuidePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go.Pardon the Mess is part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit www.ChristianParenting.org.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Well, it’s a bittersweet day for me. I am delighted to introduce you to your NEW HOST of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal. This is my last episode as your host, and I am feeling all the emotions. I am grateful and sad and feeling so much peace.Thank you for letting me into your lives for a few years. I pray God encouraged you in your role as a Christian parent. A special thanks to Jill Jefferson, Steph Thurling, Jeannette Tapley and the entire team at Christian Parenting. I couldn’t have done it without you all.Today, you will get to know Scarlet and her family. She has a beautiful heart for the Lord and the imperfect journey of parenting. She is passionate about the gospel and has a new twist on the Thursday episodes. And great news - the Monday prayer episodes will be returning after the summer!Much love and gratitude,Courtney DeFeo 00:00 Introduction and Family Dynamics03:03 Scarlet's Unique Childhood and Background06:00 Transition to Writing and Parenting08:57 The Journey to Becoming a Writer11:55 Joining Christian Parenting and Future Plans16:15 Navigating Parenting Challenges with Grace21:13 Embracing Imperfection in Parenting25:00 Finding Hope Amidst Struggles30:32 Preparing for the Future of Parenting PodcastConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Scarlet HiltibidalConnect with Courtney DeFeoOpen a LearningRX centerSummer Reading PicksPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Sign up for Morning MinutePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)All the people we have talked about this year are heroes of faith. Whether they were named or unnamed, their stories hold significance in God’s word, which is always worthy of our attention! As much as we want our kids to take on the characteristics of the people in this great cloud of witnesses, our primary desire is that our kids become like Jesus, our rabbi, friend, perfect king, and our Savior.We become more and more like Jesus as we spend more time with him. It’s the process of sanctification, or being made holy. We cannot be fully sanctified on this side of heaven, but the Holy Spirit does work within us as we surrender, obey, and return to him when we get it wrong. We are shaped to look more and more like Jesus.Our kids will make mistakes, struggle with sin, and face challenges. We all do; it’s part of living in a broken world. But as they become more like him, their responses to those things will change because becoming more like Jesus means choosing truth over lies, kindness over gossip, love over selfishness, and obedience over comfort.As we end this year of praying for our kids, let’s pray that our kids become like Jesus, that they live such a full life of faith that others will say, “They loved like Jesus loved.”Jesus, sanctify __________ through your Spirit. Shape their heart to reflect you in how they love, serve, follow, and obey. May they go to you every day and learn to talk with you and listen to your voice all day long. May they allow you to help them be more like you every day so that your light shines through them. Amen.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Big decisions in motherhood often come with uncertainty—especially when it comes to balancing family, work, calling, and the many demands on our time.In this episode, the tables are turned as Megan Jones interviews Courtney about her decision to step away as host of Pardon the Mess. The conversation explores the tension many moms feel when navigating career decisions, learning when to say yes or no, and discerning God’s direction in changing seasons.Together, they talk honestly about the twists and turns that can come with work and motherhood, the challenge of trusting God with the unknown, and the importance of following his leading even when the path forward isn’t fully clear.This episode is a thoughtful encouragement for anyone walking through a season of transition or making difficult decisions for themselves or their family.Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Background02:59 The Importance of Mentorship05:56 Navigating Change and Transitions12:08 Finding Purpose in Parenting17:59 Reflections on Priorities and Regrets18:48 Psst — we may have hidden a little surprise in this episode 🎉 In case you can't wait until May 28th to meet your new host!23:56 Looking Ahead: Future Plans and EncouragementConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with MeganOpen a LearningRX centerSummer Reading PicksPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Sign up for Morning MinutePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy